Ep 21. How to Actually Remember Important Things with ADHD

We hear a lot about masking in the ADHD space—but what if the real energy drain isn’t masking itself, but how we think about it?In this episode, Ana Urban challenges the idea that basic emotional regulation is “pretending to be normal,” and reframes what’s actually happening beneath the surface. ⏳ In this episode:00:55 – The quote that sparked this episode02:33 – What’s really making us tired (hint: it’s not small talk)02:47 – Why not interrupting people isn’t suppression08:57 – The hidden trap of seeing regulation as performance09:12 – What The Expectation Effect reveals about fatigue and mindset11:38 – Why Ana shifted from ADHD coaching to resilience work🌱 Ready to stop second-guessing and start trusting yourself—no matter what emotions arise?🎟️ Save your seat for the live 2-day workshop: Rewire Your Brain for Emotional Resilience in Just 5 Minutes a Day🗓️ May 20 & 22 | Included for Untamed members💻 Grab your ticket today!Want to go even deeper? Join the Untamed coaching experience and build the emotional resilience, clarity, and confidence to create a life that aligns with your values.✨ Weekly live coaching with Ana✨ Emotional regulation & mindset tools✨ The Untamed Freedom Formula course✨ Live masterclasses & workshops every month plus our entire library of past classes on everything from decluttering to perfectionism✨ A wildly relatable, supportive community👉🏽 Join now at anaurban.com/adhd-untamed

You’re standing at a fork in the road. Your emotions are loud—guilt, doubt, embarrassment, fear—and you’re faced with a big decision. What do you do?In this raw and deeply personal episode, Ana Urban walks you through one of the hardest choices she's made for her family—and what it really looks like to build emotional resilience in real time. This isn’t about doing it perfectly. It’s about staying present, grounded, and compassionate when everything feels uncertain.If you’ve ever been paralyzed by indecision, drowned in guilt, or wrestled with the pressure to “get it right,” this one’s for you.⏳ In this episode:00:43 – What is a “pivotal emotional moment”03:19 – Embarrassment, judgment & choosing a different path06:44 – Grieving the vision you imagined12:01 – Why we can’t logic our way out of emotions18:59 – The homeschool experiment (and why it didn’t work)23:16 – The guilt of choosing business over family28:16 – When no decision feels perfect31:55 – The shift from spiraling to grounded clarity33:40 – The final decision & what made it feel aligned34:29 – Invitation to the 2-day live workshop on emotional resilience🌱 Ready to stop second-guessing and start trusting yourself—no matter what emotions arise?🎟️ Save your seat for the live 2-day workshop: Rewire Your Brain for Emotional Resilience in Just 5 Minutes a Day🗓️ May 20 & 22 | Included for Untamed members💻 Grab your ticket today!Want to go even deeper? Join the Untamed coaching experience and build the emotional resilience, clarity, and confidence to create a life that aligns with your values.✨ Weekly live coaching with Ana✨ Emotional regulation & mindset tools✨ The Untamed Freedom Formula course✨ Live masterclasses & workshops every month plus our entire library of past classes on everything from decluttering to perfectionism✨ A wildly relatable, supportive community👉🏽 Join now at anaurban.com/adhd-untamed

Ever find yourself spiraling right before a big moment—even if you’ve done all the prep?Same. This week on The Wildly Different Podcast, we’re talking about visualization—but not the fake-it-till-you-make-it kind.I'm sharing the real story behind my first big in-person talk in over a decade—where, 10 minutes before walking on stage, my brain lovingly served up the intrusive thought:“What if you pee your pants in the middle of your speech?”(Yeah. Wild.)In this episode, you’ll learn why our ADHD brains love to throw curveballs under pressure, how your nervous system predicts based on past experiences—not reality—and why visualization isn’t about perfection…it’s about preparing your body to stay with you in the messy moments.You’ll hear why practicing five minutes a day can rewire your brain faster than hours of white-knuckling—and how you can start today.⏳ In this episode:00:00 – Why visualization actually works (and when it doesn’t) 00:59 – My first big in-person talk: what really happened 01:51 – The ridiculous intrusive thought that tried to derail me 03:29 – How your brain predicts safety (or danger) based on your past 04:21 – It’s not logic—it’s memory and pattern recognition 05:12 – How mental rehearsal rewires your brain over time 06:12 – Quick visualization exercise: Green apple (yes, really) 07:07 – Why a five-minute-a-day practice is more powerful than you think 07:58 – Updating old predictions with new, safe experiences 09:46 – Visualizing real challenges, not just best-case scenarios 10:43 – Training your brain for self-trust, not perfection 11:38 – Final reflections: you’re not broken—you’re rewiring💥 Ready to build a brain that trusts itself—even when life gets messy?Join ADHD Untamed, my group coaching experience for wildly different minds who are ready to stop self-abandoning and start trusting their real, present selves.✨ Weekly live coaching with Ana ✨ The Untamed Freedom Formula ✨ Guided visualizations and practical mindset tools ✨ A wildly supportive, neurodivergent community👉🏽 Join now at anaurban.com/adhd-untamedStay wild, my friends. 🌿🌱 Ready to stop second-guessing and start trusting yourself—no matter what emotions arise?🎟️ Save your seat for the live 2-day workshop: Rewire Your Brain for Emotional Resilience in Just 5 Minutes a Day🗓️ May 20 & 22 | Included for Untamed members💻 Grab your ticket today!Want to go even deeper? Join the Untamed coaching experience and build the emotional resilience, clarity, and confidence to create a life that aligns with your values.✨ Weekly live coaching with Ana✨ Emotional regulation & mindset tools✨ The Untamed Freedom Formula course✨ Live masterclasses & workshops every month plus our entire library of past classes on everything from decluttering to perfectionism✨ A wildly relatable, supportive community👉🏽 Join now at anaurban.com/adhd-untamed

You’ve got a big idea. A new venture. Maybe even a full-on dream. And suddenly your brain is like: “Cool cool cool… but what if this is just another pipe dream?”In this episode, I’m walking you through one of our recent ADHD Untamed coaching calls—where a member’s booming woodworking business sparked a spiral of self-doubt, urgency, and pressure to prove this was finally “the one.”We dive into what happens when your dream feels too big, how ADHD brains are wired for both inspiration and burnout, and why chasing your goals from a place of pressure sets you up to spin out.You'll learn how to shift out of perfectionism, stop trying to prove you're "not flaky," and start building with trust, not panic. Plus, I’ll walk you through a guided visualization to reconnect with your why—without the burnout.If you've ever walked away from something and wondered, “Did I just fail again?”—this one's for you.⏳ In this episode:1:38 – Why your dream feels “too big” (and why that’s an ADHD thing) 3:31 – The difference between pressure and urgency 6:03 – What happens when you tie your worth to performance 9:24 – Why the “perfect system” might be a trauma response 10:51 – The self-sabotage of solving problems before they happen 11:43 – A spiritual lens on patterns like burnout, chaos, overwhelm 12:39 – The shift from proving to trusting yourself 14:30 – Journal prompts to explore your deeper “why” 17:22 – A guided Untamed Alignment to move from pressure to trust 21:39 – Final reflections and how to respond to your inner critic💥 Ready to stop proving and start trusting?Join ADHD Untamed, the coaching experience designed to help you radically accept your ADHD, stop self-abandoning, and build a life that works with your brain.✨ Weekly live coaching with Ana ✨ The Untamed Freedom Formula ✨ Guided visualizations, meditations, and mindset tools ✨ A supportive, wildly relatable community👉🏽 Join now at anaurban.com/adhd-untamed🌱 Ready to stop second-guessing and start trusting yourself—no matter what emotions arise?🎟️ Save your seat for the live 2-day workshop: Rewire Your Brain for Emotional Resilience in Just 5 Minutes a Day🗓️ May 20 & 22 | Included for Untamed members💻 Grab your ticket today!Want to go even deeper? Join the Untamed coaching experience and build the emotional resilience, clarity, and confidence to create a life that aligns with your values.✨ Weekly live coaching with Ana✨ Emotional regulation & mindset tools✨ The Untamed Freedom Formula course✨ Live masterclasses & workshops every month plus our entire library of past classes on everything from decluttering to perfectionism✨ A wildly relatable, supportive community👉🏽 Join now at anaurban.com/adhd-untamed

🧠 How to Actually Remember Things with ADHDWhy do you remember your third-grade crush’s birthday but forget why you walked into a room five seconds ago?Let’s talk ADHD and memory — and why the advice you’ve been given isn’t working because it skips over the one thing that matters most: your relationship to your brain.📥 Grab the free visual download that goes with this episode:This PDF breaks down the Untamed Freedom Formula for ADHD memory — so you can start supporting your brain instead of shaming it.→ Grab it hereIn this episode, I’ll walk you through what memory actually is (spoiler: it’s not one thing), how ADHD affects it, and why none of your sticky notes or reminder apps will work if you’re still judging yourself every time you forget something.This one’s practical and emotional — because remembering things is never just about remembering things.🔍 In this episode, you’ll learn:Why most ADHD memory hacks fall flat (4:06)The difference between long-term, short-term, and working memory (6:01)Why working memory is the executive function that messes with your entire day (6:46)How forgetting isn’t just a brain glitch — it’s tied to trauma, shame, and internalized judgment (11:04)A breakdown of the Untamed Freedom Formula and how each phase helps you reclaim your memory (12:49)Real-life examples from coaching clients, including how memory spirals can affect connection and self-worth (18:11)ADHD-friendly memory tools that actually work — when used with compassion (24:57)Why “visual cues,” batch routines, and even rosemary can help… but only if you stop trying to fix yourself first (26:48)The surprising science of mental rehearsal and how to prime your brain for success like an Olympian (27:46)Why coaching is less about learning — and more about remembering who you are (34:29)🌱 Ready to stop spiraling and start supporting your brain?Join ADHD Untamed — the only program that blends science, spirituality, and real-talk strategy to help you:✨ Radically accept your ADHD (no shame, no masks)✨ Build custom systems that actually work for your brain✨ Regulate your emotions + rewire your beliefs✨ Get weekly coaching, somatic tools, a private podcast + more→ Join now at anaurban.com/adhd-untamed🎧 If this episode hit home, don’t keep it to yourself — text it to the friend who always forgets their keys, leave a review, and subscribe for more wildly different takes on ADHD.🌱 Ready to stop second-guessing and start trusting yourself—no matter what emotions arise?🎟️ Save your seat for the live 2-day workshop: Rewire Your Brain for Emotional Resilience in Just 5 Minutes a Day🗓️ May 20 & 22 | Included for Untamed members💻 Grab your ticket today!Want to go even deeper? Join the Untamed coaching experience and build the emotional resilience, clarity, and confidence to create a life that aligns with your values.✨ Weekly live coaching with Ana✨ Emotional regulation & mindset tools✨ The Untamed Freedom Formula course✨ Live masterclasses & workshops every month plus our entire library of past classes on everything from decluttering to perfectionism✨ A wildly relatable, supportive community👉🏽 Join now at anaurban.com/adhd-untamed

What if the real reason you’re spiraling isn’t the task, the deadline, or the flop—but your nervous system?In this episode, I’m joined by my husband Ryan for a candid convo about fake safety vs. real safety, what it means to feel grounded in your body when everything feels like it’s falling apart, and why regulating your nervous system before taking action changes everything.We dive into performance pressure at work, ADHD spirals, and why many of us only feel safe after the thing is solved—aka conditional safety. I also walk you through how the Untamed Freedom Formula helps you build real, unconditional safety inside your body using the four phases: Relearn, Reflect, Release, and Respond.You’ll hear how Ryan applied parts work (hello, inner watchdog 🐶), real-life examples from his high-stress corporate job, and why crying, swaying, or humming might be the real productivity hacks no one’s talking about.If you’ve ever felt like you were spiraling over something that “shouldn’t be a big deal,” this episode is a must-listen.🔍 In this episode, you’ll learn:What fake safety looks like (and how we mistake it for regulation) (1:55)How tying your worth to performance starts way before adulthood (9:13)The concept of “the inner watchdog” and why talking to your parts works (4:11)What parts work actually is and how ADHD Untamed teaches it in practice (5:44)Ryan’s experience navigating performance pressure as a corporate recruiter (7:36)How real safety can’t be found in external wins (like a filled role or a viral post) (11:15)Why nervous system regulation isn’t about logic (it’s about embodiment) (14:56)The four phases of the Untamed Freedom Formula and how to apply them (15:45)The analogy of “the overflowing cup” and what to do when you’re about to snap (23:01)Tools that actually help: humming, rocking, compassion, curiosity, and guided audios (18:31)🌱 Ready to go deeper?Enrollment for ADHD Untamed is OPEN!This is the only program that blends science, spirituality, and real talk to help you radically accept your ADHD, stop self-abandoning, and start building a life that works for your brain.✨ Get instant access to the Untamed Freedom Formula✨ Weekly live coaching calls with Ana✨ Somatic tools, guided meditations, and more✨ Private community + podcast for on-the-go supportJoin now: https://www.anaurban.com/adhd-untamed🎧 Listen + SubscribeIf this episode resonated, share it with a friend, leave a review, or tag me on Instagram @ana.urban.coach and tell me your biggest takeaway!🎙️ The Wildly Different Podcast is here to remind you that you're not broken. You’re just wildly different. And that’s the magic.🌱 Ready to stop second-guessing and start trusting yourself—no matter what emotions arise?🎟️ Save your seat for the live 2-day workshop: Rewire Your Brain for Emotional Resilience in Just 5 Minutes a Day🗓️ May 20 & 22 | Included for Untamed members💻 Grab your ticket today!Want to go even deeper? Join the Untamed coaching experience and build the emotional resilience, clarity, and confidence to create a life that aligns with your values.✨ Weekly live coaching with Ana✨ Emotional regulation & mindset tools✨ The Untamed Freedom Formula course✨ Live masterclasses & workshops every month plus our entire library of past classes on everything from decluttering to perfectionism✨ A wildly relatable, supportive community👉🏽 Join now at anaurban.com/adhd-untamed

What if everything you’ve been told about ADHD is wrong?What if your brain isn’t broken—but simply wired for a different kind of brilliance?In this episode, we’re throwing out the outdated, shame-filled narratives around ADHD and replacing them with something revolutionary: wholeness.In this episode, I’m walking you through the Untamed Freedom Formula, a four-phase process designed to help you stop fighting yourself and start embracing how your mind actually works. We’ll talk about curiosity, acceptance, self-compassion, and willingness—and how these four simple shifts can change everything, from your productivity to your relationships to your self-worth.If you’ve ever felt like you’re “too much” or “not enough” at the same time, this episode is for you.In this episode, you’ll learn about:Shame spiral, system hopping, and self-abandonment are the bigger issues. (1:00)Analogy: Painting over a water stain instead of fixing the leak → Treating symptoms instead of root causes. (2:30)Many are working hard yet feel like they’re failing. (4:00)The real issue: Fighting "invisible math" with shame as a compass. (5:45)Developed after being diagnosed with ADHD at 19. (7:00)Phase 1: Relearn (10:00)Phase 2: Reflect (12:30)Phase 3: Release (15:30)Phase 4: Respond (17:30)ADHD isn’t a secret but a part of a person’s system. You don't need to tell others about ADHD for them to understand or tiptoe around you. (19:00)Ontology refers to understanding the true nature of something. In this case, it’s about exploring ADHD's real nature instead of trying to "fix" it. (20:00)The traditional view of ADHD as a disorder of executive function is flawed. (22:00)ADHD is a form of neurodivergence, not a failure to fit into societal expectations. (24:00)The “theology” of executive function promotes obedience and productivity, which might not work for ADHD brains. (25:15)The internalized belief that ADHD individuals are lazy or undisciplined stems from societal pressure to conform to a rigid, linear, and productive mold. (26:00)Enrollment for ADHD Untamed is now open! This transformative program is designed to help you embrace your ADHD with confidence, harness your strengths, and create a life that works for you. I’m offering expert guidance, practical tools, and a supportive community to help you gain clarity, self-acceptance, and strategies to thrive. Don’t miss this opportunity to break free from overwhelm and step into your full potential. Sign up now to start your journey! https://www.anaurban.com/adhd-untamed🌱 Ready to stop second-guessing and start trusting yourself—no matter what emotions arise?🎟️ Save your seat for the live 2-day workshop: Rewire Your Brain for Emotional Resilience in Just 5 Minutes a Day🗓️ May 20 & 22 | Included for Untamed members💻 Grab your ticket today!Want to go even deeper? Join the Untamed coaching experience and build the emotional resilience, clarity, and confidence to create a life that aligns with your values.✨ Weekly live coaching with Ana✨ Emotional regulation & mindset tools✨ The Untamed Freedom Formula course✨ Live masterclasses & workshops every month plus our entire library of past classes on everything from decluttering to perfectionism✨ A wildly relatable, supportive community👉🏽 Join now at anaurban.com/adhd-untamed

You know that feeling—the one where you’re standing on the edge of something big, something that could change everything, but instead of jumping, you hesitate? Your mind races with all the ‘what ifs’—What if I fail? What if I’m not ready? What if this isn’t the right path?We’ve all been there. Stuck between the life we know and the one we want. The truth is, the leap is never easy, but it’s always worth it. And that’s exactly what we’re diving into in this episode.Today, we’re getting real about the messy, unpredictable, and sometimes uncomfortable journey of stepping into the unknown. We’re talking about fear, resistance, and that inner voice that tries to keep us playing small. But more importantly, we’re exploring what happens when you push past the doubt and take action anyway.In this episode, you’ll learn about:What first sparked my interest in this field. (7:42)The early influences and mentors who helped shape my journey. (10:10)How I overcame the doubts and obstacles I faced. (11:14)The toughest hurdles I have faced—both personal and professional. (14:30)The most valuable lesson I’ve learned. (18:24)The turning point that changed everything for me. (22:10)How resilience, adaptability, and creativity helped me move forward in the face of adversity. (25:19)My advice for anyone looking to follow a similar path and the key habits that led to this success. (30:55)How you can apply these lessons to your own life and take action today. (34:01)Enrollment for ADHD Untamed is now open! This transformative program is designed to help you embrace your ADHD with confidence, harness your strengths, and create a life that works for you. I’m offering expert guidance, practical tools, and a supportive community, to help you gain clarity, self-acceptance, and strategies to thrive. Don’t miss this opportunity to break free from overwhelm and step into your full potential. Sign up now to start your journey! https://www.anaurban.com/adhd-untamed🌱 Ready to stop second-guessing and start trusting yourself—no matter what emotions arise?🎟️ Save your seat for the live 2-day workshop: Rewire Your Brain for Emotional Resilience in Just 5 Minutes a Day🗓️ May 20 & 22 | Included for Untamed members💻 Grab your ticket today!Want to go even deeper? Join the Untamed coaching experience and build the emotional resilience, clarity, and confidence to create a life that aligns with your values.✨ Weekly live coaching with Ana✨ Emotional regulation & mindset tools✨ The Untamed Freedom Formula course✨ Live masterclasses & workshops every month plus our entire library of past classes on everything from decluttering to perfectionism✨ A wildly relatable, supportive community👉🏽 Join now at anaurban.com/adhd-untamed

Ever wonder why certain tasks feel impossible, while others send you into overdrive? Why you either shut down in the face of difficulty or push yourself to perfection? The way you were parented might have everything to do with it.In this episode, we’re breaking down the four major parenting styles—authoritative, authoritarian, permissive, and neglectful—and how each one impacts kids with ADHD. More importantly, we’ll connect the dots between your upbringing and the struggles you face today. From procrastination to emotional regulation, from self-discipline to self-sabotage, it all ties back.But here’s the good news: You can re-parent yourself. You can break the cycle. You can build resilience, structure, and self-compassion—all the things you might not have been given as a kid.In this episode, you’ll learn about:High expectations with strict discipline. (1:04)Parents believe they are helping by providing structure. (3:03)ADHD kids may either overcompensate for validation or shut down in shame. (5:23)Overcorrecting for their own strict upbringing. (6:30)Avoidance of discomfort—shutting down negative emotions. (10:24)Adults with permissive parenting struggle with self-discipline. (12:30)Lack of structure leads to avoidance of uncomfortable tasks. (14:02)Structure with clear expectations but also warmth and validation. (16:00)Teaching emotional regulation and coping strategies. (18:36)Helping a child learn to sit with discomfort and problem-solve. (19:18)Recognizing past influences and adjusting self-talk. (21:00)Therapy methods like Internal Family Systems (IFS) can help. (22:10)Building resilience and high expectations while being kind to oneself. (24:01)Enrollment for ADHD Untamed is now open! This transformative program is designed to help you embrace your ADHD with confidence, harness your strengths, and create a life that works for you. I’m offering expert guidance, practical tools, and a supportive community, to help you gain clarity, self-acceptance, and strategies to thrive. Don’t miss this opportunity to break free from overwhelm and step into your full potential. Sign up now to start your journey! https://www.anaurban.com/adhd-untamed🌱 Ready to stop second-guessing and start trusting yourself—no matter what emotions arise?🎟️ Save your seat for the live 2-day workshop: Rewire Your Brain for Emotional Resilience in Just 5 Minutes a Day🗓️ May 20 & 22 | Included for Untamed members💻 Grab your ticket today!Want to go even deeper? Join the Untamed coaching experience and build the emotional resilience, clarity, and confidence to create a life that aligns with your values.✨ Weekly live coaching with Ana✨ Emotional regulation & mindset tools✨ The Untamed Freedom Formula course✨ Live masterclasses & workshops every month plus our entire library of past classes on everything from decluttering to perfectionism✨ A wildly relatable, supportive community👉🏽 Join now at anaurban.com/adhd-untamed

Last week, we dug into emotional regulation: what it really means, why it’s so misunderstood, and how ADHD plays a huge part in how we manage our emotions. We challenged the typical narratives and explored the idea that emotional regulation isn’t just a result of your wiring—it’s shaped by your environment, your upbringing, and your experiences. And the best part? If these things influence your emotional struggles, that means you can change them.But in this episode, I want to take that one step further. We're going to explore the concept of anti-fragility—a game-changer for how we think about stress and challenges. Anti-fragility, coined by Nassim Taleb, flips the script on what we’ve been told about resilience. It’s not just about surviving difficulties; it's about growing stronger from them. Think of your emotions like muscles—when you flex them, they get stronger. They require stress to thrive. And that’s what today’s episode is all about: how to embrace emotional discomfort, how parenting shapes our ability to regulate, and how you can develop emotional resilience that doesn’t just survive—it thrives.In this episode, you’ll learn about:Overwhelm is a growth edge—it won’t last forever. (02:10)Emotional regulation isn't about avoiding emotions but understanding them. (3:57)Breaking big projects into smaller tasks (ADHD strategy). (5:21)Identifying what’s taking too much time and how to delegate. (8:23)Avoiding extremes—neither logic nor emotion should dominate. (10:45)Overwhelm can be a sign of deep emotional investment in your work. (13:45)Self-compassion includes reminding yourself of how far you’ve come. (15:20)Willingness means using overwhelm as fuel for action. (20:51)Facing perfectionism and defining clear business priorities. (25:01)Seeing emotions as information rather than obstacles (26:10)The goal isn’t avoiding discomfort, but learning to thrive in it. (35:01)Growth happens when you lean into the hard moments instead of escaping them. (37:42)Enrollment for ADHD Untamed is now open! This transformative program is designed to help you embrace your ADHD with confidence, harness your strengths, and create a life that works for you. I’m offering expert guidance, practical tools, and a supportive community, to help you gain clarity, self-acceptance, and strategies to thrive. Don’t miss this opportunity to break free from overwhelm and step into your full potential. Sign up now to start your journey! https://www.anaurban.com/adhd-untamed🌱 Ready to stop second-guessing and start trusting yourself—no matter what emotions arise?🎟️ Save your seat for the live 2-day workshop: Rewire Your Brain for Emotional Resilience in Just 5 Minutes a Day🗓️ May 20 & 22 | Included for Untamed members💻 Grab your ticket today!Want to go even deeper? Join the Untamed coaching experience and build the emotional resilience, clarity, and confidence to create a life that aligns with your values.✨ Weekly live coaching with Ana✨ Emotional regulation & mindset tools✨ The Untamed Freedom Formula course✨ Live masterclasses & workshops every month plus our entire library of past classes on everything from decluttering to perfectionism✨ A wildly relatable, supportive community👉🏽 Join now at anaurban.com/adhd-untamed