DEEP DIVE: Peer Pressure

When we imagine peer pressure, we imagine coming to the rescue by slapping drugs and alcohol out of our kids' hands after their friends undoubtedly tell them they should definitely try some. But peer pressure--who feels it, why, and exactly WHAT kids are being pressured to do--is a complex issue. In this episode, Amy and Margaret discuss: The biological imperative adolescents have to take risks in front of their peers What kids report actually feeling peer pressured to do- the answers aren't what expected How to actually prepare our kids to counter the peer pressure they face This episode was originally released on April 13, 2022. Here are links to past episodes with similar topics: ⁠"When Other Kids Are Bad Influences"⁠ ⁠"What Is Up With Teenagers?"⁠ Here are links to resources mentioned in this episode: Juliana Menasce Horowitz and Nikki Graf for the Pew Research Center: ⁠"Most U.S. Teens See Anxiety and Depression as a Major Problem Among Their Peers"⁠ Centerstone.org: "⁠What is Peer Pressure and Who is at Risk?⁠" Science Daily: ⁠"Peer pressure? It's hardwired into our brains, study finds"⁠ ⁠Laurence Steinberg⁠ and ⁠Kathryn C. Monahan⁠: ⁠Age Differences in Resistance to Peer Influence⁠ Jess Shatkin, ⁠Born to Be Wild: Why Teens Take Risks, and How We Can Help Keep Them Safe⁠ Jessica Lahey, ⁠The Addiction Inoculation: Raising Healthy Kids in a Culture of Dependence⁠ Sign up for What Fresh Hell Plus on Supporting Cast to get all episodes ad-free, plus monthly bonus episodes. Supporting Cast works right where you already listen! Go to whatfreshhell.supportingcast.fm to subscribe in two taps for just $4.99 a month, or $39.99 a year. What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables. We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ What Fresh Hell podcast, mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, peer pressure Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Amy talks with developmental psychologists Dr. Kathy Hirsh-Pasek and Dr. Roberta Golinkoff, authors of the newly revised parenting classic EINSTEIN NEVER USED FLASHCARDS, about why today’s parents feel more pressured than ever to optimize every moment of childhood—and why research shows that approach often backfires. From academic preschools to AI toys, screen time to early reading, Kathy and Roberta explain what actually supports healthy learning and development. You’ll learn: Why play-based learning leads to better academic and emotional outcomes The five key conditions for how the human brain learns best Why “faster” and “earlier” aren’t better for child development How everyday moments (like the grocery store or setting the table) are powerful learning opportunities The effects of AI toys and excessive screen use How simple games build executive function and social skills A practical mantra for overwhelmed parents: reflect, resist, recenter This episode offers science-backed reassurance that children don’t need flashcards, apps, or enrichment overload—what they need most is playful, joyful, human connection. Here's where you can find Drs. Hirsh-Pasek and Golinkoff: @drkathyanddrro on IG Buy EINSTEIN NEVER USED FLASHCARDS: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780593980767 What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables. We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ What Fresh Hell podcast, mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, play-based learning, Einstein Never Used Flashcards, child development, early childhood education, parenting advice, executive function, screen time for kids, AI toys, learning through play, social emotional development, preschool learning, developmental psychology, parenting pressure, raising kids, how children learn, educational research, parent anxiety, technology and kids Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Why do some moments feel enormous while others vanish from memory? Why do two people experience the same event and walk away with completely different interpretations? And why do we so often repeat stories about ourselves that keep us stuck? In this episode, we explore narrative identity—the science-backed idea that who we are is shaped not just by what happens to us, but by the story we tell about what happens. But small shifts in perspective can radically change those narratives. In this episode we unpack what it means to notice the script, question it, and rewrite it. We also dive into the research showing that the ability to find agency and redemption in our stories is one of the strongest predictors of mental health. Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Emory University blog: Changing the narrative of your self Leo Babauta for ZenHabits.net: Mental Badassery: Becoming Aware of the Stories We Tell Ourselves Listen to David Foster Wallace's commencement speech at Kenyon College. Samantha Boardman for Psychology Today: Take Control of the Story You Tell About Yourself Bruce Feiler for The New York Times: The Stories That Bind Us What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables. We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ What Fresh Hell podcast, mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, narrative identity, personal narratives, storytelling and identity, self story psychology, meaning making, memory and perception, how the brain creates meaning, cognitive bias, sense of self, psychology of storytelling, rewriting your story, mental health and narratives, agency and redemption, neuroscience of identity, parenting and mindset, family narratives, personal growth podcast, self awareness psychology, behavioral psychology, mindset shifts Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What do we do as parents when our kids aren't great at making friends, or their friends are outgrowing them, or we feel that their friends are a bad influence? Sometimes, we're not supposed to do anything at all. Sometimes our kids really need our support. How can we tell the difference? In this episode, Amy and Margaret discuss: what might contribute to trouble making friends the skills kids can develop to become better friends what to do when you don't like your kid's friends This episode was originally released on November 6, 2024. Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Michelle Icard for CNN: ⁠Parents ‘should be seen and not heard’ when it comes to kids and their friendships⁠ Parenting.org: ⁠My Child Has No Friends⁠ Julia Morrill for Health Matters: ⁠How Parents Can Help Their Kids Make Friends⁠ Lexi Walters Wright for Understood.org: ⁠4 skills for making friends⁠  Claire McCarthy for Harvard Health Publishing: ⁠Helping children make friends: What parents can do⁠ Kelsey Borresen for HuffPost: ⁠What To Do If You Don’t Like Your Kid’s Friend⁠ What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Margaret Ables and Amy Wilson. We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/⁠ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, rejection, kid rejection, friendships, kids friendships, kids friends, kids making friends, kids social skills Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Margaret talks with clinical psychologist Dr. Meredith Elkins, author of the new book PARENTING ANXIETY, about how anxiety really works—and how parents can stop unintentionally reinforcing it in themselves and their kids. Dr. Elkins, a faculty member at Harvard Medical School and director of the McLean Anxiety Mastery Program, shares insights from her new book Parenting Anxiety: Breaking the Cycle of Worry and Raising Resilient Kids. Together, they unpack why anxiety isn’t something to eliminate, how avoidance makes fear stronger, and why modern “intensive parenting” may be increasing anxiety for both parents and children. You’ll learn the three key markers that distinguish normal anxiety from an anxiety disorder (interference, distress, and duration), why psychological flexibility is one of the most important skills we can teach kids, and how cognitive behavioral therapy—especially exposure—helps people face fear instead of shrinking from it. This conversation offers practical, compassionate tools for parents who want to support anxious kids without over-accommodating, and for anyone who wants to change their relationship with anxiety itself. Here's where you can find Dr. Elkins: https://www.meredithelkinsphd.com/ @drmeredithelkins on IG and FB LinkedIn Buy PARENTING ANXIETY: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780593798812 What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables. We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ What Fresh Hell podcast, mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, parenting anxiety, child anxiety, anxiety in children, anxiety disorders, psychological flexibility, cognitive behavioral therapy, CBT for anxiety, exposure therapy, intensive parenting, mental health for parents, anxiety coping skills, raising resilient kids, parenting mental health, postpartum anxiety, intrusive thoughts, anxiety management, Harvard psychologist, Meredith Elkins, anxiety treatment, family mental health Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

From socks-and-slides footwear to mysteriously disappearing spoons and phone chargers, teens and tweens can really rack up the infractions. In this episode, Amy and Margaret break down the baffling behaviors that define life with older kids—tween and teen “crimes"—as reported by parents in the What Fresh Hell community. Paradoxical and criminal behavior further includes having “nothing to wear” despite a full closet, hoarding personal money while freely spending that of your parents, and needing an immediate text response while ignoring all incoming messages. Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Our episode "Teaching Kids About Money" An embarrassed teen at school pickup The speakers Margaret purchased for her teens' rooms What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables. We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ What Fresh Hell podcast, mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, tween parenting, teen parenting, parenting tweens and teens, teen behavior, tween behavior, funny parenting podcast, parenting humor, life with teenagers, teen habits parents hate, executive function teens, teen independence, parenting frustrations, What Fresh Hell podcast, raising teenagers, parenting community stories Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

When we have a kid who just doesn't seem to fit in—or who is a loner, if a fairly content one—it can be hard for parents. But putting our own anxiety about it aside, and getting clear on the lagging skills and social cues that may not quite be in place, is the best way to help kids get on a better path. This episode is full of specific and useful advice! Amy and Margaret discuss: all the reasons kids can have trouble making (and keeping) friends five "unwritten social rules" that some kids take longer to comprehend how figuring out the specific issues at play can lead to the most useful solutions This episode was originally released on May 29, 2024. Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Jamie Howard, et. al for Child Mind Institute: ⁠Kids Who Need a Little Help to Make Friends⁠ The Sue Larkey podcast: ⁠Promoting Social Understanding – Social Scripts⁠ Gwen Dewar for Parenting Science: ⁠How to help kids make friends: 12 evidence-based tips⁠ Christine Comizio for U.S. News Health: ⁠Understanding Kids' Friendship Struggles: Common Causes and Solutions⁠ Lexi Walters Wright for Understood.org: ⁠5 “unwritten” social rules that some kids miss⁠ Andrew M.I. Lee for Understood.org: ⁠Why some kids have trouble making friends⁠ ADHD Dude: ⁠"How to Help Your ADHD Child Keep Friends"⁠ What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Margaret Ables and Amy Wilson. We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/⁠ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, friendships, making friends Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Why does winter affect our mood—and why are teens especially vulnerable? Amy talks with Dr. Greg Hammer, author of the book A MINDFUL TEEN, about the science behind the winter blues, teen mental health, and how simple mindfulness practices can help families feel better. Dr. Hammer explains how reduced sunlight, disrupted sleep, less physical activity, and holiday stress all contribute to seasonal mood changes—and why teens, who are already sleep-deprived and under pressure, can struggle even more during the winter months. The conversation explores the difference between everyday winter blues and Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), and when parents should consider professional support. Amy and Dr. Hammer also discuss the definition of "mindfulness" and the GAIN method—Dr. Hammer's practical, accessible framework built around Gratitude, Acceptance, Intention, and Non-Judgment. Dr. Hammer shares how mindfulness can be practiced in as little as three minutes a day, why self-judgment fuels stress and burnout, and how parents can model emotional regulation without lecturing their teens. Here's where you can find Dr. Hammer: www.greghammermd.com www.amindfulteen.com Buy A MINDFUL TEEN: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9798881806118 @greghammermd on IG What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables. We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ What Fresh Hell podcast, mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, winter blues, seasonal affective disorder, mindfulness for teens, teen mental health, parenting teenagers, teen anxiety and depression, mindfulness practice, mental health in winter, Dr. Greg Hammer, A Mindful Teen book Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Why does deciding what’s for dinner every night feel way harder than making major decisions at work? Here's why decision-making can feel so overwhelming—and what actually helps. You'll learn the psychology behind choice overload, decision fatigue, and regret aversion, and how too many options, depleted mental energy, and fear of future regret can lead to avoidance, default choices, or endless second-guessing. Amy and Margaret share practical tools for simplifying decisions, including narrowing options, offloading choices, and applying frameworks like the Eisenhower Matrix. This episode offers reassurance that decision stress is normal—and actionable ways to reduce it, save your cognitive energy for what matters most, and move forward with more confidence and less regret. Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Science of People: “Choice Paralysis: 8 Techniques to Make Better Decisions” Marlynn Wei, M.D., J.D. for Psychology Today: “How High Performers Overcome Decision Fatigue” The Decision Lab: “Regret Aversion” The Decision Lab: “Choice Overload Bias” Alexander Chernev, Ulf Böckenholt & Joseph Goodman for Journal of Consumer Psychology: "Choice overload: A conceptual review and meta‐analysis" Huiqiao Jia, Chiuhsiang Joe Lin & Eric Min-yang Wang for Scientific Reports: “Effects of Mental Fatigue on Risk Preference and Feedback Processing in Risk Decision-Making” What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables. We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Get 50% Off Monarch Money, the all-in-one financial tool at ⁠www.monarchmoney.com/FRESH Ready to raise money-smart kids? Start now with your first month FREE at acornsearly.com/FRESH! What Fresh Hell podcast, mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, how to make better decisions, decision fatigue, choice overload, regret aversion, parenting decisions, decision making psychology, analysis paralysis, decision making strategies, paradox of choice, simplify decisions, cognitive overload, parenting stress, behavioral science decisions Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Most of us hear “bullying” and picture a sand-kicking, lunch-money-stealing menace. But today’s bullying can take other forms. Research by Dr. Charisse Nixon shows that about 7% of kids report experiencing physical aggression once a week— but that HALF of kids report experiencing relational aggression at least once a month.  On the other hand, as bullying expert Signe Whitson explains, some things get termed “bullying” that are more correctly described as mean or rude. Knowing the difference as parents will help our children navigate these waters more effectively.  In this episode we discuss how to help our children understand what bullying is, plus how to know if our kids are being bullied themselves— since it’s the kids who are truly frightened and struggling who are often the most likely not to tell us.  We also discuss whether, how much, and in what ways parents should intervene— somewhere in the middle ground between “so find new friends!” and beating the bully up yourself. (Spoiler alert: don’t do either of those things.)  This episode was originally released on June 12, 2024. Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in this episode: Katie Hurley for Washington Post On Parenting: ⁠"What does childhood anxiety look like? Probably not what you think."⁠ Katie Hurley for PBS Kids: ⁠What to Do If Your Child Is Being Bullied⁠ Sherri Gordon for Very Well Family: ⁠7 Tips for Helping Kids Deal With Being Ostracized⁠ Sumathi Reddy for WSJ: ⁠Little Children and Already Acting Mean⁠ Signe Whitson for Huffington Post: ⁠Rude Vs. Mean Vs. Bullying: Defining The Differences⁠ Louis Sachar: ⁠There's a Boy in the Girls' Bathroom⁠  Join Our Facebook Group! ⁠https://www.facebook.com/groups/whatfreshhellcast ⁠ What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables. We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/⁠ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, bullying, bullies, bullied Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices