Can Anxious People Date Avoidants? We're Talking Attachment Styles

Dr. Amir Levine dives deeper into the dynamics of attachment styles in relationships. He explains why anxious and avoidant individuals often find themselves stuck in a never-ending cycle, and how these patterns can impact the way we choose and connect with romantic partners. Amir offers insightful tools to help both anxious and avoidant types navigate their relationships more effectively, and shares how being with a secure partner can change the way we experience love. With practical advice and eye-opening truths, this episode uncovers the path to breaking free from destructive patterns and creating healthier, more secure connections. We’re Talking Attachment Styles with Dr. Amir Levine (Part Two) Follow me here: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/needtotalk⁠   ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@weneedtotalkpod⁠  Take the We Need To Talk quiz to discover your attachment style and get personalised episode recommendations: ⁠https://linkly.link/2g3t4⁠ Support Amir here: Website: ⁠https://linkly.link/2g2xk⁠ My Attachment Topography Calculator: ⁠https://linkly.link/2g2xl⁠ Secure at Waterstones https://linkly.link/2g8vz Enter 'Secure26' for 25% off (00:00) Intro (01:09) What Do Different Attachment Styles Look for in a Partner? (05:01) What Is the Gender Split on the Various Attachment Styles? (06:51) Is It a Problem Being in a Relationship With Someone Who Has the Same Attachment Style as You? (09:05) Dr Amir’s Tools for Changing Your Brain and Attachment Styles (13:41) Not Texting Back and Being Avoidant With Your Friends (15:00) The Myths Surrounding Attachment Styles (17:14) Having Different Attachment Styles With Various People in Your Life (19:29) Saily Ad (20:39) How Does Social Media Affect Attachment Styles? (23:03) Social Exclusion and Its Effect on the Brain (30:06) How to Set Expectations in Your Relationships Sponsored by: Saily - Download from the app store and use code WNTT at checkout for 15% off. For more details: https://saily.com/wntt ⛵ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Kathy Griffin cancelled, controversy, losing everything overnight, and rebuilding after 7 years out of work. Kathy opens up about what really happened behind the headlines, why she regrets apologising, and how she survived losing her career, friendships, and identity overnight. Kathy reflects on the fallout that followed, from being investigated and publicly condemned to losing 75% of her friends. She speaks about the anxiety that came with it, the pressure of being constantly judged, and why she believes the narrative around her story is only now starting to change. Kathy also shares her journey into Hollywood, breaking through later than most and facing years of rejection about her looks and worth. From being told she wasn’t “pretty enough” to building a career on her own terms, she explains how she carved out success in an industry that often pushed her out. She opens up about addiction, recovery, and the period where everything caught up with her. Kathy reflects on rebuilding her life, finding new friendships, and why she continues to speak out despite the risk of backlash. Kathy Griffin, We Need To Talk This episode contains discussion of addiction and suicide. We’ve included links to support charities below: Samaritans: https://linkly.link/2dx7Z   CALM: https://linkly.link/2dx8H   MIND:  https://linkly.link/2dx8b  Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/needtotalk   https://www.tiktok.com/@weneedtotalkpod   Sign up to our newsletter https://linkly.link/2eXHX Follow Kathy here: https://www.instagram.com/kathygriffin/ https://www.tiktok.com/@kathygriffin  Sponsored by: Saily - Download from the app store and use code WNTT at checkout for 15% off. For more details: https://saily.com/wntt ⛵ 00:00 Intro02:16 Kathy’s Childhood in 1960s Chicago 03:52 Racial Tensions in 1960s Chicago 06:23 Kathy’s Relationship With Her Parents 12:07 The Beginnings of Kathy’s Comedy in School 15:13 How Kathy Convinced Her Parents to Move to LA 18:44 Kathy and Her Family’s First Years in LA 21:56 The Beginnings of Kathy’s Acting Career in LA 26:25 Kathy’s Early Auditions and Break on The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air 32:52 Kathy’s Relationship With Quentin Tarantino 37:54 Suddenly Susan and Kathy’s First HBO Special 53:55 Statistics on Gender and Comedy 59:05 Saily Ad 01:00:30 The Context Behind Kathy’s Relationship With Donald Trump 01:06:09 The Story Behind ‘That Photo’ 01:09:52 The Media Backlash and Kathy’s ‘Cancellation’ 01:15:16 How the Backlash Affected Kathy’s Mental Health 01:23:04 Paul Surprises Kathy With A Letter 01:25:19 How Kathy Bounced Back 01:31:17 Kathy Breaks Down Her Relationship History 01:36:23 Kathy’s Self-Esteem and Cosmetic Procedures 01:40:54 Kathy on Her Relationships With Famous Friends 01:43:44 Most Memorable Conversation 01:45:52 Paul’s Takeaways Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Anxious, avoidant or secure? Dr Amir Levine breaks down the science of attachment styles and why the way we connect in relationships shapes our emotional world.  Dr. Amir Levine is a psychiatrist, neuroscientist, and bestselling author of Attached and Secure, whose work has transformed how millions understand attachment styles and relationships. In the first of a three-part series, Amir explains how anxious, avoidant, and secure patterns show up in adulthood, and how understanding them can completely change the way you experience love. He shares the story behind his best-selling book and how a personal breakup led him to uncover research that had been hidden in academic papers for decades. Amir also challenges one of the biggest myths in psychology, explaining why your childhood accounts for less than 10% of your adult attachment style. We’re Talking Attachment Styles with Dr Amir Levine (Part One) Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/needtotalk   https://www.tiktok.com/@weneedtotalkpod  Take the We Need To Talk quiz to discover your attachment style and get personalised episode recommendations: https://linkly.link/2g3t4 Support Amir here: Website: https://linkly.link/2g2xk My Attachment Topography Calculator: https://linkly.link/2g2xl Secure at Waterstones https://linkly.link/2g8vz Enter 'Secure26' for 25% off (00:00) Intro (01:04) Paul Fanboys Over Dr Amir’s Work (02:32) What Are Attachment Styles? (04:01) The International Success of *Attached* (04:55) Dr Amir Breaks Down the Three Main Attachment Styles (08:30) How Do Attachment Styles Originate? (12:13) How Attachment Styles Impact Our Lives (14:02) Can We Change Our Attachment Styles? (17:00) Saily Ad (18:10) Dr Amir Explains the “My Attachment Topography Calculator” Sponsored by: Saily - Download from the app store and use code WNTT at checkout for 15% off. For more details: https://saily.com/wntt ⛵ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Kerry Katona returns to We Need To Talk with Paolo, opening up about finding love when she least expected it, the anxiety she was battling, and the heartbreak that ran alongside her happiest moments. She speaks candidly about her relationship with Paolo, from meeting up after the cameras stopped rolling to blending their families and talking seriously about marriage. Kerry and Paolo also reflect on falling pregnant early in their relationship, the miscarriages they went through together, and what that loss brought up for them both. Kerry also speaks honestly about going on tour with Katie Price, why everyone told her not to do it, and the 20-year friendship that still connects them despite how different they are. She reflects on the emotional toll of sharing so much on stage, the health scare that left her in hospital, and why her children’s approval means more to her than anything else. Kerry Katona, We Need To Talk (again) This episode contains discussion of miscarriage. We’ve included links to support charities below: Sands: https://linkly.link/2fej3 Tommy’s: https://linkly.link/2feiZ  Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/needtotalk   https://www.tiktok.com/@weneedtotalkpod   Sign up to our newsletter https://linkly.link/2eXHX Follow Kerry & Paolo here: https://www.instagram.com/kerrykatona7   https://www.tiktok.com/@official.kerrykatona https://www.instagram.com/paolomargaglione1/  https://www.tiktok.com/@margafitness_  Abba Mia Tour: https://www.d3productions.co.uk/abba-mia (00:00) Intro (00:58) Kerry is Back! (02:32) The Impact of Kerry’s First Appearance on We Need To Talk (11:49) Kerry’s Mindset Going into Appearing on Celebs Go Dating (15:52) What Was It About Paolo That First Appealed to Kerry? (17:18) How Kerry and Paolo’s Relationship Developed (20:26) How Did Kerry and Paolo Deal With the Age Gap? (22:26) Kerry’s Struggle With Anxiety Over The Past Year (25:52) Kerry’s Health Scare (27:51) The Emotional Impact of Kerry’s Tour with Katie Price (31:57) Kerry and Paolo’s Interdependent Relationship (35:24) Would Kerry Tour With Katie Price Again? (37:07) The History of Kerry and Katie’s Friendship (42:52) Kerry’s On Parasocial Relationships (48:20) Paul Surprises Kerry With A Letter From Home (54:42) Shopify Ad (55:46) Paolo Joins Paul and Kerry (01:00:09) What Has the Media’s Reception Been Like About Their Relationship? (01:04:34) Paul Shows Kerry and Paolo a Family Photo (01:06:32) How Do Kerry and Paolo Manage Their Blended Family? (01:08:43) How Does Paolo Deal With the Parasocial Relationship Fans Have With Kerry? (01:13:41) Kerry and Paolo Address ‘That Photo’ With Katie Price in Dubai (01:14:57) Are Kerry and Paolo Moving to Spain? (01:17:27) What Does Paolo Love About Kerry? (01:21:21) Will Kerry and Paolo Get Married? (01:24:00) Do Kerry and Paolo Want to Have Children Together? (01:30:43) Most Memorable Conversation (01:34:03) Paul’s Takeaways Sponsored by: Shopify: www.shopify.co.uk/needtotalk  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Talia Mar shares her journey with autism from feeling different as a child to being diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder at 24. She opens up about bullying, masking, sensory overwhelm, and the pressure of trying to appear confident while struggling internally. Talia also reflects on why autism in women is so often missed, how music became her outlet, and the relief that came with finally understanding herself. This conversation is an honest look at neurodivergence, identity and embracing the way your mind works. We’re Talking Autism (00:00) Intro (00:35) Talia Explains Why She Thinks She Was Bullied at School (02:28) Talia on Masking and Dealing With Bullying at School (03:27) What Advice Would Talia Give Her Younger Self? (04:44) The Message Behind Talia’s Music (07:53) Talia’s Autism Diagnosis at 24 (08:45) When Talia First Thought She Had Autism (11:53) Saily Ad (13:05) Why Talia Wasn’t Diagnosed Earlier (15:28) Statistics Around Autism in Women (16:38) How Life Might Have Been Different With an Earlier Diagnosis (18:07) How Talia’s Parents Reacted to Her Diagnosis (20:11) Would Talia Encourage Others to Seek a Diagnosis? (20:56) How Miniminter Reacted to Talia’s Autism Sponsored by: Saily - Download from the app store and use code WNTT at checkout for 15% off. For more details: https://saily.com/wntt ⛵ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Only Way Is Essex star Chloe Sims reveals the truth about TOWIE, fame, and the relationship she says took years of her life. She opens up about growing up without her biological mum, being bullied for her looks, and why part of her still feels like that young girl today. Chloe speaks honestly about the man she kept going back to, why she apologised for things she didn't do, and the moment she finally realised he was never going to change. She also shares what reality TV was really like behind the scenes. From rehearsing arguments to shaking with nerves, Chloe explains how the pressure to perform affected her mental health and why she was never the “Ice Queen” people believed she was. Chloe also reflects on motherhood and the lengths she went to protect her daughter from the spotlight. She speaks about filming House of Sims with her siblings, why making the show nearly broke her, and what starting again in America has taught her about love, family and self-worth. Chloe Sims, We Need To Talk Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/needtotalk   https://www.tiktok.com/@weneedtotalkpod   Sign up to our newsletter https://linkly.link/2eXHX Follow Chloe here: https://www.instagram.com/chloesims  https://www.tiktok.com/@misschloesims (00:00) Intro (01:46) Paul Tells the Story of How He and Chloe First Met (05:53) Chloe’s Upbringing in East London and Essex (07:45) Chloe’s Family Situation Growing Up (13:39) How Moving From East London to School in Essex Affected Chloe (18:48) Paul Shows Chloe a Childhood Photo of Her and Joey (20:08) How Joey’s Mother’s Death Affected Chloe (28:05) Chloe’s Biggest Insecurity During Adolescence (30:38) Chloe’s Life After School and a Toxic Relationship (38:43) What Chloe Is Looking for in a Partner (41:12) Saily Ad (42:20) How Chloe Was Cast in TOWIE (51:57) How Chloe’s Life Changed After Joining TOWIE (57:49) Chloe’s Darkest Moment on TOWIE (01:06:26) Chloe’s Experience on Celebs Go Dating (01:09:01) How Chloe Is Pigeonholed in the Reality TV Industry (01:11:53) Chloe’s Current Dating Life and What She Wants in a Partner (01:18:19) Chloe’s Experience of Perimenopause (01:21:19) Chloe Asks Paul for Dating Advice During Perimenopause (01:24:48) Paul Reads Chloe a Letter From a TV Industry Insider (01:32:59) Paul Reads Chloe a Letter From Her Brother Charlie (01:36:53) How Chloe Has Navigated the Media and Her Daughter Maddie (01:40:16) The Biggest Lesson Chloe Has Learned From Motherhood (01:41:35) Chloe Recounts Her Experience With Cosmetic Surgery (01:45:08) Will Chloe Have Any More Cosmetic Procedures? (01:46:59) Most Memorable Conversation (01:49:17) Paul’s Takeaways Sponsored by: Saily - Download from the app store and use code WNTT at checkout for 15% off. For more details: https://saily.com/wntt ⛵ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ashley Roberts shares how a first audition changed everything, taking her from performing at the Viper Room to becoming part of one of the biggest girl groups in the world. She opens up about the early buzz around the group to performing alongside Rihanna and Lady Gaga. Ashley also reflects on the structure of the group, with Nicole as the lead singer, the pressure and pace of sudden fame, and the physical and emotional toll that came with life inside such an iconic act. We're Talking The Pussycat Dolls Sponsored by: Saily - Download from the app store and use code WNTT at checkout for 15% off. For more details: https://saily.com/wntt ⛵ (00:00) Intro (00:38) Ashley Shares How She Joined the Pussycat Dolls (03:27) From Viper Room Dance Act to Global Pop Group (04:34) The Origins and Success of “Don’t Cha” (07:07) The Sheer Scale of Pussycat Dolls’ Success (08:18) Ashley’s Fondest Memory at the Height of Their Success (09:32) Saily Ad (11:22) The Structure of the Pussycat Dolls as a Group (13:55) Why the Pussycat Dolls Didn’t Reform Post-Covid (15:18) The Financial Success of the Pussycat Dolls (17:29) The Demanding Touring Schedule and Its Impact on Ashley (20:30) Paul Shows Ashley the Debut Pussycat Dolls Album Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Abbey Romeo became one of the most recognisable faces on Netflix’s Love on the Spectrum, but her journey to finding love, identity and a voice was anything but simple. In this conversation, Abbey opens up about growing up with autism, the reality of feeling isolated and misunderstood, and what life was really like before the show. Abbey shares what autism feels like from the inside, describing it as living between two worlds, while Abbey’s mum Christine reflects on the challenges of raising a child in a system she believes is often broken. They speak honestly about the early years, from communication struggles and emotional breakthroughs to the moment Abbey first understood her diagnosis and how that shaped her identity. Christine also shares the unseen side of parenting, the survival mode, the lack of support, and the turning points that slowly gave them hope. Abbey also reflects on finding love with her boyfriend David, what their relationship means to her, and the quiet ways he makes her feel safe, understood and seen. From building a successful hat business to discovering her voice through music, Abbey demonstrates how purpose, creativity and connection have transformed her life and why representation matters more than ever. Abbey Romeo, We Need To Talk (00:00) Intro (01:50) The Success of Love on the Spectrum (02:39) How Abbey Felt When She First Joined the Show (03:46) Why Hannah Montana Is Important To Abbey (04:50) Abbey and Christine on Becoming Public Figures (06:04) Why Christine Didn't Think Abbey Belonged On The Show (08:17) Abbey’s Emotional Connection to Mermaids (10:22) Abbey Gifts Paul One of Her Hats (12:32) When Abbey Discovered She Was Autistic (14:12) Abbey’s Experiences Across Different Schools (17:59) Christine’s View on the Origins of Autism (18:45) How Abbey Defines Autism (19:23) Paul Shows Abbey a Photo of Her as a Baby (21:00) What It’s Like Filming Love on the Spectrum (25:10) What Abbey Likes About Her Boyfriend David (28:31) Does Abbey Love David? (32:45) Shopify Ad (33:51) When Abbey and David Became Official (36:16) How Much Time Christine Has to Herself (37:11) Christine on Parenting an Autistic Child (41:47) What Abbey Loves Most About Christine (45:56) Abbey’s Musical Ability (47:50) Abbey’s Favourite TV Shows (49:03) David’s Ability to See Numbers as Colours (52:15) Paul Surprises Abbey With a Message From A Celebrity Guest (58:16) What Abbey Wishes People Knew About Autism (58:48) What Abbey and David Like to Do Together (59:21) The New Series Of Love On The Spectrum (01:00:03) Most Memorable Conversation (01:03:16) Paul’s Takeaways Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/needtotalk  https://www.tiktok.com/@weneedtotalkpod Follow Abbey here: https://www.instagram.com/hatsbyabbey https://www.tiktok.com/@hatsbyabbey Sponsored by: Shopify: www.shopify.co.uk/needtotalk  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

To mark World Down’s Syndrome Day Ellie Goldstein shares her journey from overcoming a challenging start in life to becoming a model, dancer and global trailblazer. From the glitz of Strictly Come Dancing to gracing the cover of Vogue, Ellie opens up about resilience, breaking barriers in the fashion world, and being unapologetically herself. This conversation is a celebration of defying expectations and embracing identity. We're Talking Life Beyond Down's Syndrome Sponsored by: Saily - Download from the app store and use code WNTT at checkout for 15% off. For more details: https://saily.com/wntt ⛵ (00:00) Intro (00:40) What Was Ellie’s Favourite Part About Being on Strictly? (02:34) How Ellie Started Out Modelling (03:46) Paul Lists the Brands Ellie Has Modelled For (04:33) Ellie’s Vogue Cover (07:46) Ellie’s Foray Into Being an Author (10:13) Saily Ad (11:25) Yvonne Shares the Story of Ellie’s Birth (20:01) Statistics Around Down's Syndrome (23:22) How Yvonne Told Ellie About Her Condition (24:37) What Yvonne and Ellie Appreciate About Each Other Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Amy Winehouse and Blake Fielder were at the centre of one of the most talked about relationships in modern music history. In this rare conversation, Blake speaks openly about their relationship, addiction, fame, blame, and the headlines that followed them both. He reflects on meeting Amy in Camden, the intensity of their connection, and what their relationship was really like away from public view. Blake also revisits the chaos of the 2000s tabloid press, the pressure of sudden fame, and how Back to Black captured the pain of their breakup in real time. Blake speaks candidly about addiction, the long-standing accusations that have followed him for years, and the darkest chapters of his life, including learning of Amy’s death while he was in prison. He also confronts one of the biggest questions that still surrounds her death: who was responsible? Blake Fielder, We Need To Talk. This conversation includes discussion of suicide, addiction, self harm and eating disorders. Please watch with care. If you need support, we’ve included helpful resources below: Samaritans: https://linkly.link/2dx7Z CALM: https://linkly.link/2dx8H MIND:  https://linkly.link/2dx8b Beat Eating Disorders https://linkly.link/2dx8y (00:00) Intro (01:59) Why Does Blake Want to Speak Now? (03:57) Blake Describes His Upbringing (05:26) Blake’s Life in London as a Teenager (06:04) How Blake Ended Up Working On Music Videos (07:16) What Was Blake’s Relationship With Drugs and Alcohol in His Teens? (13:16) Blake’s Self-Esteem as a Teenager (15:28) When Did Blake’s Drug Use Change From Casual to Addiction? (17:49) Blake Addresses Whether He Was an Addict Before Meeting Amy Winehouse (20:30) Blake Talks About His Mental Health Challenges as a Child (24:57) How Blake Met Amy Winehouse (40:09) Why Blake and Amy Winehouse Initially Broke Up (41:37) The Huge Popularity of ‘Back to Black’ (51:00) Blake’s Thoughts on the ‘AMY’ Documentary (55:12) How Blake and Amy Rekindled Their Relationship (57:07) Paul Shows Blake a Photo From His Wedding Day With Amy (01:02:07) The British Media in the Early Noughties (01:09:33) Blake’s Relationship With Amy’s Father Mitch (01:14:31) Amy’s Addiction While Blake Was Incarcerated (01:21:40) Did Blake and Amy Talk About Getting Clean? (01:23:15) Blake and Amy’s Interactions With Big Stars (01:27:11) Shopify Ad (01:28:13) How Did Blake and Amy Finally Separate? (01:35:53) Blake’s Final Time Seeing Amy (01:39:58) How Blake Found Out About Amy’s Passing (01:51:21) When Blake First Realised Amy Suffered From Bulimia (01:54:38) Statistics Around Drug Abuse and Bulimia (02:00:28) Blake’s Thoughts on the ‘27 Club’ (02:04:25) What Does Blake Think Amy’s Legacy Will Be? (02:07:03) What Would Blake Say To Amy Today? (02:11:32) Most Memorable Conversation (02:13:39) Paul’s Takeaways Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/needtotalk  https://www.tiktok.com/@weneedtotalkpod Sponsored by: Shopify: www.shopify.co.uk/needtotalk  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices