Stop Fighting Yourself

In a divorce, we not only separate from our partner; we also often become separated from ourselves.In this remarkable conversation, Elayne Kalila and I explore the powerful overlap between relationship rupture, perimenopause and menopause, self-reclamation, and a Dark Night of the Soul.And how a divorce can become a reckoning with where we’ve left ourselves, and an invitation to reclaim the parts of us we had to leave behind.In this episode, look and listen for:What happens when the ways we’ve learned to be women — to tend, accommodate, over-give, and hold everything together — simply stop working. Why perimenopause and menopause can bring such a profound reckoning in divorce and breakup.When you’ve divorced from another person as well as from yourself, what it takes to begin coming back into healthy relationship with yourself.How reclaiming yourself can change your relationship, with or without ending it. Especially when everything seems to be coming undone, our work isn’t to get back to who we were. But rather, to let ourselves be changed, and discover who is waiting for us on the other side.Resources mentioned in this episode:The Seven Gateways of Menopause Quiz — Elayne’s map for helping women identify where they may be in the journey of peri/menopause transformation.https://discover.priestesspresence.com/7-gateways-quiz/Red: Elayne’s podcast — Elayne also mentions an upcoming conversation with her naturopathic doctor for women wanting to learn more about support during menopause.https://elaynekalila.com/red-80/About ElayneElayne Kalila Doughty, MA, MFT, has been on a path of passionate service for the past 30 years.She is an ordained priestess and focalizer of the 13 Moon Mystery School and Rosa Mystica Mystery School. She is also the co-founder of the Rosa Mystica Mystery School with Diana DuBrow.Elayne Kalila founded the Priestess Presence Mystery School & Temple in 2014—and has grown it to serve a global sisterhood of over 100,000 women.Her passion and soul purpose is to initiate, train, and ordain beings into the Divine Feminine mysteries so that they may step into the social role and function of the modern-day Priestess.She began her professional life as an actor and director, finding her home within community-based theater, bringing the arts to diverse communities including prison inmates, at-risk youth, developmentally challenged adults, inpatient psychiatric patients, indigent and homeless populations.Find Elayne Kalila at https://elaynekalila.com/ and https://priestesspresence.com/Waking Up in the Dark Night of Divorce by LiYana SilverA roadmap for moving bravely through a breakup, reclaiming what you lost in the relationship, and emerging awake, aligned, and lit-up.Filled with hard-forged wisdom, practical practices, and poignant stories (many from me), this book is an invitation to see your heartbreak not as a failure but as the fiery beginning of your becoming.Receive the Waking Up Workbook (no-cost bonus): all the practices & exercises from the book, beautifully laid out for you with space to write, draw, and do your soul-work. Step 1: Buy the book on Audible or wherever you prefer. Step 2: Then, come to my book’s website, scroll down the page a bit, enter your receipt number, and get your bonus!Waking Up audiobook, book & bonus: liyanasilver.com/wakingupAbout LiYana SilverRelationship coach and author of Waking Up in The Dark Night of Divorce and Feminine Genius, LiYana guides women (and their partners) through (not around) the darkest passages of their lives.Through her transformational methodology, LiYana helps individuals, couples, and groups reclaim what they lost in the relationship, break repeating patterns, and emerge awake, aligned, and lit-up.A former professional dancer and lover of painting with oils, LiYana lives with her son, their two cats, and a frankly impressive number of houseplants.Connect with LiYana:Waking Up in The Dark Night of Divorce book ~ liyanasilver.com/wakingupFeminine Genius book ~ liyanasilver.com/femininegeniusThe Heartbreak Transformation Map ~ liyanasilver.com/mapFresh From The Fire newsletter ~ liyanasilver.com/newsletter

When a marriage or relationship ends, it's easy to look back and wonder: Did I fail? Did I try hard enough? Was it all for nothing? But what if the measure of a relationship's success isn't how long it lasted? And what if the grief you're carrying isn't something to get over, but a way of honoring what you've loved? What if the end of your relationship isn't evidence that you've failed, but the beginning of becoming more fully yourself?In this deeply personal episode, I share:A moment at the ending of my marriage that helped me stop seeing my divorce — and myself — as a failure.How to know you're beginning to emerge from heartbreak, even when you still have hard days and waves of grief.The fifth and final phase of the Dark Night of Heartbreak, Emerging: and what it means to step into the next chapter of your life with more self-trust, stronger boundaries, and a deeper sense of who you are.How to stop being so hard on yourself as you heal from heartbreakThe release of my new book, Waking Up in the Dark Night of Divorce, available in paperback, ebook, and audiobook!Waking Up in the Dark Night of Divorce: The Radical Road Through Breaking, Awakening, and Self-Reclamation by LiYana SilverA roadmap for moving bravely through a breakup, reclaiming what you lost in the relationship, and emerging awake, aligned, and lit-up.Available in paperback, ebook, and audiobook: liyanasilver.com/wakingupAlso, receive the Waking Up Workbook, a no-cost bonus: Enter your receipt number for your book purchase and I’ll send you the workbook, with all the practices from the book plus space for you to write, draw, and dream.Additional podcast episodes mentioned in this episodePhase 1: Initiation — Let This Heartbreak Remake You [https://podcast.liyanasilver.com/let-this-heartbreak-remake-you/]Phase 2: Dissolution — What I Said When She Called Me Sobbing [https://podcast.liyanasilver.com/what-i-said-when-she-called-me-sobbing/]Phase 3: Excavation — Stop Fighting Yourself [https://podcast.liyanasilver.com/stop-fighting-yourself/]Phase 4: Reimagining — Rebuilding From What is True [https://podcast.liyanasilver.com/rebuilding-from-what-is-true/]The Sacred Work of Falling Apart with guest Mirabai Starr about the Dark Night of the Soul [https://podcast.liyanasilver.com/the-sacred-work-of-falling-apart/]About LiYana SilverRelationship coach and author of Waking Up in The Dark Night of Divorce and Feminine Genius, LiYana works with those reckoning with divorce, breakup, and heartbreak so complex it feels like a dark night of the soul.Through her transformational methodology, LiYana helps individuals, couples, and groups reclaim what they lost in the relationship, break repeating patterns, and emerge awake, aligned, and lit-up.A former professional dancer and lover of painting with oils, LiYana lives with her son, their two cats, and a frankly impressive number of houseplants.Connect with LiYana:Waking Up in The Dark Night of Divorce book ~ liyanasilver.com/wakingupFeminine Genius book ~ liyanasilver.com/femininegeniusThe Heartbreak Transformation Map ~ liyanasilver.com/mapFresh From The Fire newsletter ~ liyanasilver.com/newsletterPodcast chapters00:00 – Why the end of your relationship can be the beginning of becoming yourself02:20 – My divorce story: grieving the marriage and the future I thought I'd have05:15 – Did I fail at marriage? Why a relationship ending doesn't mean it failed07:40 – Grief is love: how to honor what you've lost instead of rushing to move on12:30 – A personal ritual for grieving divorce and finding peace with the past17:05 – The five phases of heartbreak: where are you in your healing journey?21:00 – Signs you're emerging from heartbreak: stronger boundaries, self-trust, and renewed hope26:00 – Breaking old relationship patterns like self-abandonment and people-pleasing30:10 – Reclaiming your worth, your joy, and your identity after divorce32:00 – Even when you're still grieving, how to see the progress you're making35:10 – How to stop being so hard on yourself as you heal from heartbreak

(Re-release) Healing doesn't begin when we "rise from the ashes," but when we stop trying to avoid the fire. Welcome to this intimate, incendiary conversation with HeatherAsh Amara, mentor, land steward, philanthropist, and author of nine best-selling books, including Warrior Goddess Training.Listen in, friend, as Ash and I talk about walking through fire, not around it, and how that remakes us into the person who emerges on the other side of the wreckage. As well as how our deepest losses can become invitations into a more intimate relationship with ourselves.In this episode, look and listen for:The simple choice that transformed Ash's divorce from devastation into initiation.How Ash’s home and land was destroyed by wildfire, and what it taught her about presence, surrender, and staying with what cannot be saved.The difference between learning from the past and punishing yourself with it.The hidden agreements that heartbreak brings to the surface — including the belief, "I can't do this without them."Why so many of us have been taught to make romantic partnership the center of our lives — and what becomes possible when we stop.How to become the kind of person who can sit beside devastation without rushing to make it okay.What it actually means to refuse to abandon yourself in the middle of heartbreak.Consider that this impossible time in your life isn't asking you to be stronger but is simply asking you to stay.About HeatherAsh AmaraBest-selling author, mentor, land steward, and philanthropist, HeatherAsh Amara has spent the last three decades guiding her many loyal readers through the challenging contradictions of modern life. Seamlessly weaving spiritual wisdom with proven, practical tools for individual growth, HeatherAsh is a dedicated steward in creating a more just, compassionate, and creative global community.HeatherAsh has written nine books and created numerous audio projects, including the bestseller Warrior Goddess Training, The Seven Secrets to Healthy, Happy Relationships with don Miguel Ruiz Jr., and her newest book Wild, Willing, Wise: An Interactive Guide for When to Paddle, When to Rest, and When to Jump Naked into the River of Life.When she’s home, HeatherAsh plants her feet in New Mexico, but as a lifelong nomad, she spends much of her time traveling, teaching, and writing in cafés around the world.Connect with HeatherAsh:Website: warriorgoddess.comFoundation: ashrose.orgFacebook: facebook.com/thewarriorgoddessrevolutionInstagram: instagram.com/thewarriorgoddessrevolution/Substack, Out of the Fire: heatherash.substack.com/Podcast, Warrior Goddess Revolution: https://warriorgoddess.com/podcast/Books by HeatherAsh AmaraA Little Book on Big Freedom: Discover the Four Elements of TransformationWarrior Goddess Training: Become the Woman You are Meant to BeWarrior Heart Practice: A Simple Process to Transform Confusion into Clarity and Pain into PeaceWild, Willing, and Wise: An Interactive Guide for When to Paddle, When to Rest, and When to Jump Naked into the River of LifeBooks & resources mentioned in the episode:Elizabeth Kübler-Ross and her work on The Five Stages of GriefLiYana Silver’s forthcoming book, Waking Up in the Dark Night of DivorceWhen you pre-order, you’ll receive two beautiful book bonuses:1) The Waking Up Workbook to accompany the book, with all the practices from the book plus space for you to write and draw; and 2) Book Club with LiYana: 3 weekly meetings in which I’ll read from the book, we’ll practice together, discuss, and have Q+A.Order Waking Up in the Dark Night of Divorce + book bonuses: liyanasilver.com/wakingupAbout LiYana SilverRelationship coach and author of Waking Up in The Dark Night of Divorce and Feminine Genius, LiYana works with women at the knife’s edge of heartbreak — reckoning with divorce, breakup, and heartbreak so complex it feels like a dark night of the soul.LiYana guides women (and their partners) through (not around) the darkest passages of their lives. Through her transformational methodology, LiYana helps individuals, couples, and groups reclaim what they lost in the relationship, break repeating patterns, and emerge awake, aligned, and lit-up.A former professional dancer and lover of painting with oils, LiYana lives in Asheville, NC with her son, their two cats, and a frankly impressive number of houseplants.Connect with LiYana:Website ~ liyanasilver.comWaking Up in The Dark Night of Divorce book ~ liyanasilver.com/wakingupFeminine Genius book ~ liyanasilver.com/femininegeniusThe Heartbreak Transformation Map ~ liyanasilver.com/mapFresh From The Fire newsletter ~ liyanasilver.com/newsletterWaking Up in The Dark Night of Divorce substack ~ liyanasilver.substack.com/

At some point in the Dark Night of Heartbreak, you come up for air. The intensity softens, even just a little, and a new set of questions begins to emerge:What do I actually want now? What will I no longer live with—or live without? What kind of life and love would truly fit me?Welcome to Reimagining, the fourth phase of the Dark Night of Heartbreak. This is where you begin rebuilding, not from the same old scripts, other people’s expectations, or who you used to be, but from what is true for you now.In this episode, we explore how to reconnect with that truth and to imagine a life that is better, brighter, and more fitting of who you’re becoming.In this episode, look and listen for:How to reconnect with your truth when heartbreak has made it difficult to know what you want, need, or trust.How to envision your next chapter of life and love, even if you don’t have a plan for it, haven’t seen it done before, and aren’t totally sure it’s even possible.How to listen to and follow your truth: the jolts of joy, curiosity, and aliveness pointing you toward what comes next.In this phase, your work is simple, although still radical: listen for what is true for you now and allow yourself to dream audaciously into what’s next.Resources mentioned in this episodeKnow Your Own VoiceA free short class and worksheet to help you tune into your inner compass: hear your truth, distinguish your yes from your no, and get clearer about what is—and isn’t—right for you.liyanasilver.com/voiceThe Waking Up Workbook + ‘Yes, This!’ PracticePre-order Waking Up in the Dark Night of Divorce and receive the accompanying workbook, including the guided “Yes, This” exercise and all the practices from the book.liyanasilver.com/wakingupEarlier episodes in the Five Phases series Phase 1: Initiation — Let This Heartbreak Remake You [https://podcast.liyanasilver.com/let-this-heartbreak-remake-you/]Phase 2: Dissolution — What I Said When She Called Me Sobbing [https://podcast.liyanasilver.com/what-i-said-when-she-called-me-sobbing/]Phase 3: Excavation — Stop Fighting Yourself [https://podcast.liyanasilver.com/stop-fighting-yourself/]Phase 5: Emerging — coming soon, subscribe to Waking Up in Heartbreak and I’ll see you there!Waking Up in the Dark Night of Divorce by LiYana SilverOrder Waking Up in the Dark Night of Divorce + receive two book bonuses: 1) The Waking Up Workbook to accompany the book, with all the practices from the book plus space for you to write and draw; and 2) Book Club with LiYana: 3 weekly meetings in which I’ll read from the book, we’ll practice together, discuss, and have Q+A.liyanasilver.com/wakingupAbout LiYana SilverRelationship coach and author of Waking Up in The Dark Night of Divorce and Feminine Genius, LiYana works with women at the knife’s edge of heartbreak — reckoning with divorce, breakup, and heartbreak so complex it feels like a dark night of the soul.LiYana guides women (and their partners) through (not around) the darkest passages of their lives. Through her transformational methodology, LiYana helps individuals, couples, and groups reclaim what they lost in the relationship, break repeating patterns, and emerge awake, aligned, and lit-up.A former professional dancer and lover of painting with oils, LiYana lives with her son, their two cats, and a frankly impressive number of houseplants.Connect with LiYana:Waking Up in The Dark Night of Divorce book ~ liyanasilver.com/wakingupFeminine Genius book ~ liyanasilver.com/femininegeniusThe Heartbreak Transformation Map ~ liyanasilver.com/mapFresh From The Fire newsletter ~ liyanasilver.com/newsletter

Reclaiming Your Aliveness After HeartbreakWhat if underneath heartbreak, betrayal, s3xual wounding, and all the ways you’ve learned to disconnect from your own body, there is something in you that has never been destroyed?My friend and colleague, Dr. Saida Désilets calls it our desire to thrive — the current of aliveness that remains even after experiences that knock the air out of us.Drawing from her work as a teacher of PsychoS3xual healing, and her own extraordinary life, including surviving s3xual violence and moving through three marriages and divorces, Saida and I explore what it means to come home to yourself after your sense of safety, love, or future has been shattered — and to reclaim your body, pleasure, self-trust, sovereignty, and capacity to feel fully alive.In this episode, look and listen for:The terrifying moment when Saida finally dared to look inside herself for the “monster” she feared was there — and what she found insteadFinding your way back to your body and your desire when heartbreak has disconnected you from bothWhat each of Saida’s three divorces taught her about betrayal, self-abandonment, and loveWhen the future you counted on disappears, how to stop grasping for solid ground and begin trusting yourself How to recognize the tiny “trickle of life” that is still there when you feel broken, shut down, or almost extinguishedDiscovering that the love you thought another person gave you, was actually generated from within you all alongThis conversation is an invitation to remember that even after experiences that have profoundly changed you, your aliveness is still yours. And still here.Pre-order Waking Up in the Dark Night of Divorce by LiYana SilverAnd receive two beautiful book bonuses:1) The Waking Up Workbook to accompany the book, with all the practices from the book plus space for you to write and draw; and 2) Book Club with LiYana: 3 weekly meetings in which I’ll read from the book, we’ll practice together, discuss, and have Q+A.Order Waking Up in the Dark Night of Divorce + book bonuses: liyanasilver.com/wakingupAbout Dr. SaidaDr. Saida Désilets wants to live in a world filled with audacious, sexually sovereign people, living life on their own terms. As a TEDx speaker, researcher, counter-culture creatrix, body-philosopher, and author, her work has touched the lives of millions globally.Dr. Saida has two published books, contributed to 4 best-selling books, and has over 20 online courses exploring issues such as healing and reclamation post-trauma, transforming shame, reclaiming pleasure, and embracing one’s s3xual sovereignty. Her pièce derésistance is her world-renowned,1000 hour accredited certification program for professionals supports and inspires practitioners from different modalities to lead their industry in the conversation about s3xuality & pleasure.The Embodied Love University, co-founded with Aaron Michael, is a comprehensive, s3xual education platform that provides s3xual fluency and free education for all. When not researching or creating transformational programs, Dr. Saida enjoys leading Wilderness Safaris in South Africa and swimming in the Aegean Sea.Connect with Dr. SaidaEmbodied Love University: an intimacy-education platform for individuals, couples, and professionals, created by Dr. Saida Désilets & Aaron Michaelhttps://www.embodiedloveuniversity.com/Embodied Love Lounge: Podcast of leading-edge insights on women's & men's health, sensuality, s#xuality, & relationships. Join Dr. Saida Désilets and Aaron Michael as they Make Intimacy Simple & Change The Way The World Makes Love.Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/76OUUm2Pbi36Vsb7X8hbawYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@EmbodiedLoveLoungeSaida’s booksEmergence of the Sensual Woman: Awakening Our Erotic Innocence by Dr. Saida DésiletsDesire: The Playbook by Dr. Saida DésiletsResources mentioned in the episodeDr. Saida Désilets’ Body Love Meditation: a short meditation for coming back into relationship with your body, especially the parts you may judge, criticize, or feel disconnected from.The Well-Lived Life: A 102-Year-Old Doctor’s Six Secrets to Health and Happiness at Every Age by Gladys McGarey, MDChapter 12 “Look for the Trickle Around the Dam.”The Woman’s Encyclopedia of Myths and Secrets by Barbara G. Walker “One Woman: A Song for UN Women”Launched globally for International Women’s Day on March 8, 2013. Written by Beth Blatt, Graham Lyle, and Fahan Hassan.About LiYana SilverRelationship coach and author of Waking Up in The Dark Night of Divorce and Feminine Genius, LiYana works with women at the knife’s edge of heartbreak — reckoning with divorce, breakup, and heartbreak so complex it feels like a dark night of the soul.LiYana guides women (and their partners) through (not around) the darkest passages of their lives. Through her transformational methodology, LiYana helps individuals, couples, and groups reclaim what they lost in the relationship, break repeating patterns, and emerge awake, aligned, and lit-up.A former professional dancer and lover of painting with oils, LiYana lives in Asheville, NC with her son, their two cats, and a frankly impressive number of houseplants.Connect with LiYana:Waking Up in The Dark Night of Divorce book ~ liyanasilver.com/wakingupFeminine Genius book ~ liyanasilver.com/femininegeniusThe Heartbreak Transformation Map ~ liyanasilver.com/mapFresh From The Fire newsletter ~ liyanasilver.com/newsletterWaking Up in The Dark Night of Divorce substack ~ liyanasilver.substack.com/

From the outside, Cris had the perfect life: she’d married her high school sweetheart, they had a son, two cars, two dogs — even the literal white picket fence.But honestly, Cris was faking it: her feelings, her conversations, even her orgasms.In this episode, my longtime client Cris Greer and I look back at the Dark Night of the Soul that followed the end of her 17-year marriage: her husband’s alcoholism, becoming a single mother, and realizing just how much of her life she had spent holding it together — which also meant losing touch with herself.In this episode, look and listen for:When “holding it together” blocks you from knowing what you really feel and wantReaching the point when staying is costing you — and your children — too muchWhat it takes to quit faking it — with friends, family, partnerships, s3x, and ourselvesWhy the tiny victories during divorce — paying for something yourself, getting through a hard day, making one brave choice — deserve to be celebrated like hellKnowing when letting your children see you struggle is too hard on them or when it can model something much healthier than pretending you’re fineLearning the difference between your yes, your no, and your hell no — and honoring all threeIf you’ve lost yourself inside a relationship, I’m excited for you to hear from Cris about what the Dark Night of Heartbreak asks of each of us:To reclaim the brave, spirited, authentic young women we used to be — and to realize that trusting ourselves is 100% non-negotiable as we rebuild new lives and partnerships.About Cris GreerCris Greer is a midlife guide, podcast host, and co-founder of My Happy Life Box — a monthly subscription box created together with her husband, Matthew. Together, they’ve built a business rooted in intention, connection, and the belief that women deserve care too.Cris hosts the Grounding Journey Podcast, where she has honest, soulful conversations about growth, spirituality, and what it really means to move through midlife with grace and strength. Her work supports women navigating midlife, identity shifts, and the quiet (or not-so-quiet) question of “What’s next?”Through her programs, curated boxes, and community, Cris offers simple, doable ways for women to reconnect with themselves — without overwhelm, guilt, or pressure to become someone new.She believes midlife isn’t a crisis. It’s a recalibration. A remembering. A becoming.When she’s not recording, writing, or curating the next box, you’ll find her dreaming up new ideas with Matthew, walking her dogs outside to clear her head, or reminding women everywhere that they are not behind — they’re right on time.Connect with CrisFind more about Cris and My Happy Life Box: groundingjourney.comListen to the Grounding Journey Podcast with Cris: Soulful conversations for midlife and beyond: https://groundingjourneypodcast.com/Pre-order Waking Up in the Dark Night of DivorceAnd receive two beautiful book bonuses:1) The Waking Up Workbook to accompany the book, with all the practices from the book plus space for you to write and draw; and2) Book Club with LiYana: 3 weekly meetings in which I’ll read from the book, we’ll practice together, discuss, and have Q+A.Order Waking Up in the Dark Night of Divorce + book bonuses: liyanasilver.com/wakingupAbout LiYana SilverRelationship coach and author of Waking Up in The Dark Night of Divorce and Feminine Genius, LiYana works with women at the knife’s edge of heartbreak — reckoning with divorce, breakup, and heartbreak so complex it feels like a dark night of the soul.LiYana guides women (and their partners) through (not around) the darkest passages of their lives. Through her transformational methodology, LiYana helps individuals, couples, and groups reclaim what they lost in the relationship, break repeating patterns, and emerge awake, aligned, and lit-up.A former professional dancer and lover of painting with oils, LiYana lives in Asheville, NC with her son, their two cats, and a frankly impressive number of houseplants.Connect with LiYanaWaking Up in The Dark Night of Divorce book ~ liyanasilver.com/wakingupFeminine Genius book ~ liyanasilver.com/femininegeniusThe Heartbreak Transformation Map ~ liyanasilver.com/mapFresh From The Fire newsletter ~ liyanasilver.com/newsletterWaking Up in The Dark Night of Divorce substack ~ liyanasilver.substack.com/

Kelly and I — LiYana Silver, host of Waking Up in Heartbreak — talk about heartbreak, shame, and power: an exploration of what happens when a woman stops conforming to the script she was given and begins rebuilding from what is actually true.In this episode, look and listen for:Why heartbreak often precedes our most meaningful transformations.How to stop asking "What's wrong with me?" and start seeing the bigger forces shaping our lives.The hidden relationship between your shame, your power, and women's conditioning.I love this hair-raising, heart-melting conversation about the power we can only retrieve from right smack in our crying-on-the-bathroom-floor moments.I know you will too.About Kelly DielsKelly Diels is a teacher of marketing, messaging, and business-building with a feminist lens.For fifteen years, Kelly has been the strategist behind New York Times bestselling authors and the brands, books, and women you already follow. She is also Culture-Maker. Political theorist. Chief Marketing Officer.Kelly doesn’t just theorise about winning the game when the game's rigged — she did it broke, with two toddlers and no job. And she’s forensically devoted to building a better f-ing way: for you, me, and for all of us.I have been Kelly’s client. And years later, Kelly has been my client.To connect with Kelly: kellydiels.comBook a Breakthrough Session with LiYana:liyanasilver.com/breakthroughKelly refers to doing transformational coaching with LiYana in this podcast episode, as instrumental in ‘unleashing’ her and the next phase of her work in the world. This is that work.Pre-order Waking Up in the Dark Night of Divorceliyanasilver.com/wakingupAnd receive two beautiful book bonuses:1) The Waking Up Workbook to accompany the book, with all the practices from the book plus space for you to write and draw; and2) Book Club with LiYana: 3 weekly meetings in which I’ll read from the book, we’ll practice together, discuss, and have Q+A.Order Waking Up in the Dark Night of Divorce + book bonuses: About LiYana SilverRelationship coach and author of Waking Up in The Dark Night of Divorce and Feminine Genius, LiYana works with women at the knife’s edge of heartbreak — reckoning with divorce, breakup, and heartbreak so complex it feels like a dark night of the soul.LiYana guides women (and their partners) through (not around) the darkest passages of their lives. Through her transformational methodology, LiYana helps individuals, couples, and groups reclaim what they lost in the relationship, break repeating patterns, and emerge awake, aligned, and lit-up.A former professional dancer and lover of painting with oils, LiYana lives in Asheville, NC with her son, their two cats, and a frankly impressive number of houseplants.Connect with LiYana:Website ~ liyanasilver.comWaking Up in The Dark Night of Divorce book ~ liyanasilver.com/wakingupFeminine Genius book ~ liyanasilver.com/femininegeniusThe Heartbreak Transformation Map ~ liyanasilver.com/mapFresh From The Fire newsletter ~ liyanasilver.com/newsletterWaking Up in The Dark Night of Divorce substack ~ liyanasilver.substack.com/

Being hard on yourself doesn’t make you stronger. It severs you from the very strength you need to make it through the Dark Night of Heartbreak.In this episode, I explore the inner war we wage with ourselves: criticizing, shaming, overriding, restricting, pushing, and trying to defeat the parts of ourselves we’ve decided are the problem.Heartbreak has a way of bringing us face to face with this relationship. As painful as this reckoning can be, it offers us an extraordinary opportunity: to stop turning against ourselves. To trade brute force for passionate conviction, intimidation for intimacy, overriding for understanding, and combat for kindness.In this episode, look and listen for:How you stop fighting yourself.Why your heartbreak brings you face to face with how you treat yourself and demands you reckon with it.How the Excavation phase of a Dark Night of Heartbreak asks us to examine the beliefs, patterns, abandoned parts, crossed boundaries, and old stories that brought us here.The most important relationship you’ll have in your entire lifeAs one of my mentors asked me, I ask you: when you are at war with yourself and you win… who loses?Resources mentioned in the episode:Let This Heartbreak Remake You: episode that explores Initiation, phase one of the Dark Night of Heartbreak. What I Said When She Called Me Sobbing: episode that explores Dissolution, phase two of the Dark Night of Heartbreak.Pre-order Waking Up in the Dark Night of Divorceliyanasilver.com/wakingupAnd receive two beautiful book bonuses:1) The Waking Up Workbook to accompany the book, with all the practices from the book plus space for you to write and draw; and 2) Book Club with LiYana: 3 weekly meetings in which I’ll read from the book, we’ll practice together, discuss, and have Q+A.Connect with LiYana:Website ~ liyanasilver.comWaking Up in The Dark Night of Divorce book ~ liyanasilver.com/wakingupFeminine Genius book ~ liyanasilver.com/femininegeniusBreakthrough Session with LiYana ~ liyanasilver.com/breakthroughThe Heartbreak Transformation Map ~ liyanasilver.com/mapFresh From The Fire newsletter ~ liyanasilver.com/newsletterWaking Up in The Dark Night of Divorce substack ~ liyanasilver.substack.com/About LiYana SilverRelationship coach and author of Waking Up in The Dark Night of Divorce and Feminine Genius, LiYana works with women at the knife’s edge of heartbreak — reckoning with divorce, breakup, and heartbreak so complex it feels like a dark night of the soul.LiYana guides women (and their partners) through (not around) the darkest passages of their lives. Through her transformational methodology, LiYana helps individuals, couples, and groups reclaim what they lost in the relationship, break repeating patterns, and emerge awake, aligned, and lit-up.A former professional dancer and lover of painting with oils, LiYana lives in Asheville, NC with her son, their two cats, and a frankly impressive number of houseplants.

Healing doesn't begin when we "rise from the ashes," but when we stop trying to avoid the fire. Welcome to this intimate, incendiary conversation with HeatherAsh Amara, mentor, land steward, philanthropist, and author of nine best-selling books, including Warrior Goddess Training.Listen in, friend, as Ash and I talk about walking through fire, not around it, and how that remakes us into the person who emerges on the other side of the wreckage. As well as how our deepest losses can become invitations into a more intimate relationship with ourselves.In this episode, look and listen for:The simple choice that transformed Ash's divorce from devastation into initiation.How Ash’s home and land was destroyed by wildfire, and what it taught her about presence, surrender, and staying with what cannot be saved.The difference between learning from the past and punishing yourself with it.The hidden agreements that heartbreak brings to the surface — including the belief, "I can't do this without them."Why so many of us have been taught to make romantic partnership the center of our lives — and what becomes possible when we stop.How to become the kind of person who can sit beside devastation without rushing to make it okay.What it actually means to refuse to abandon yourself in the middle of heartbreak.Consider that this impossible time in your life isn't asking you to be stronger but is simply asking you to stay.About HeatherAsh AmaraBest-selling author, mentor, land steward, and philanthropist, HeatherAsh Amara has spent the last three decades guiding her many loyal readers through the challenging contradictions of modern life. Seamlessly weaving spiritual wisdom with proven, practical tools for individual growth, HeatherAsh is a dedicated steward in creating a more just, compassionate, and creative global community.HeatherAsh has written nine books and created numerous audio projects, including the bestseller Warrior Goddess Training, The Seven Secrets to Healthy, Happy Relationships with don Miguel Ruiz Jr., and her newest book Wild, Willing, Wise: An Interactive Guide for When to Paddle, When to Rest, and When to Jump Naked into the River of Life.When she’s home, HeatherAsh plants her feet in New Mexico, but as a lifelong nomad, she spends much of her time traveling, teaching, and writing in cafés around the world.Connect with HeatherAsh:Website: warriorgoddess.comFoundation: ashrose.orgFacebook: facebook.com/thewarriorgoddessrevolutionInstagram: instagram.com/thewarriorgoddessrevolution/Substack, Out of the Fire: heatherash.substack.com/Podcast, Warrior Goddess Revolution: https://warriorgoddess.com/podcast/Books by HeatherAsh AmaraA Little Book on Big Freedom: Discover the Four Elements of TransformationWarrior Goddess Training: Become the Woman You are Meant to BeWarrior Heart Practice: A Simple Process to Transform Confusion into Clarity and Pain into PeaceWild, Willing, and Wise: An Interactive Guide for When to Paddle, When to Rest, and When to Jump Naked into the River of LifeBooks & resources mentioned in the episode:Elizabeth Kübler-Ross and her work on The Five Stages of GriefLiYana Silver’s forthcoming book, Waking Up in the Dark Night of DivorceWhen you pre-order, you’ll receive two beautiful book bonuses:1) The Waking Up Workbook to accompany the book, with all the practices from the book plus space for you to write and draw; and2) Book Club with LiYana: 3 weekly meetings in which I’ll read from the book, we’ll practice together, discuss, and have Q+A.Order Waking Up in the Dark Night of Divorce + book bonuses: liyanasilver.com/wakingupAbout LiYana SilverRelationship coach and author of Waking Up in The Dark Night of Divorce and Feminine Genius, LiYana works with women at the knife’s edge of heartbreak — reckoning with divorce, breakup, and heartbreak so complex it feels like a dark night of the soul.LiYana guides women (and their partners) through (not around) the darkest passages of their lives. Through her transformational methodology, LiYana helps individuals, couples, and groups reclaim what they lost in the relationship, break repeating patterns, and emerge awake, aligned, and lit-up.A former professional dancer and lover of painting with oils, LiYana lives in Asheville, NC with her son, their two cats, and a frankly impressive number of houseplants.Connect with LiYana:Website ~ liyanasilver.comWaking Up in The Dark Night of Divorce book ~ liyanasilver.com/wakingupFeminine Genius book ~ liyanasilver.com/femininegeniusThe Heartbreak Transformation Map ~ liyanasilver.com/mapFresh From The Fire newsletter ~ liyanasilver.com/newsletterWaking Up in The Dark Night of Divorce substack ~ liyanasilver.substack.com/

A client called me recently at 1am, direct from a fiery, final breakup. Her message was soaked with inky, bottom-of-the-well despair.What did I say to her? To her heartbreak? In her profound moment of loss? To help her make sense of her devastation — as well as past pain from her abandoning father that her devastation had resurfaced?In this episode, look and listen for:Exactly what I told that despairing, grieving, heartbroken client.Why we all feel like our feelings might kill us.Why resistance makes things worse.How to resist the urge to fix, fight, or flee the most intense emotions that come up in heartbreak.The phase of Dissolution: the second phase of the dark night of heartbreak, when things really start to fall apart; the most intense, acute phase.How to know you’re in Dissolution, what to do when you are, and the 'medicine' this phase holds.Why the phase of Dissolution is key to who you are becoming (on the other side of the ordeal).What Now: resources and a practice, ‘Feel Without Fleeing’ to deepen and actualize this in your moment-to-moment life .Resources:Pre-order Waking Up in the Dark Night of Divorce and receive two beautiful book bonuses:1) The Waking Up Workbook to accompany the book, with all the practices from the book plus space for you to write and draw; and2) Book Club with LiYana: 3 weekly meetings in which I’ll read from the book, we’ll practice together, discuss, and have Q+A.liyanasilver.com/wakingupBreakthrough Session ("Metamorphosis"): In just a few hours together, using my elegant breakthrough methodology, we’ll transform that long-standing, hard-to-look-at pattern that’s been warping your sense of yourself and your relationships. Expect more to transform in a single session than in months with other modalities.2-hour Intensive + 45-min Integration. Three spaces open. Let’s dig in.liyanasilver.com/breakthroughFor all episodes, including on the first phase of Initiation, “Let This Heartbreak Remake You”, head to: podcast.liyanasilver.com About LiYana SilverRelationship coach and author of Waking Up in The Dark Night of Divorce and Feminine Genius, LiYana works with women at the knife’s edge of heartbreak — reckoning with divorce, breakup, and heartbreak so complex it feels like a dark night of the soul.For over 24 years, LiYana has guided women (and their partners) through (not around) the darkest passages of their lives. Through her transformational methodology, LiYana helps individuals, couples, and groups reclaim what they lost in the relationship, break repeating patterns, and emerge awake, aligned, and lit-up.A former professional dancer and lover of painting with oils, LiYana lives in Asheville, NC with her son, their two cats, and a frankly impressive number of houseplants.Connect with LiYana:Website ~ liyanasilver.comThe Heartbreak Transformation Map ~ liyanasilver.com/mapFresh From The Fire newsletter ~ liyanasilver.com/newsletterWaking Up in The Dark Night of Divorce substack ~ liyanasilver.substack.com/Waking Up in The Dark Night of Divorce book ~ liyanasilver.com/wakingupFeminine Genius book ~ liyanasilver.com/femininegenius