2025: A Chaste Odyssey

What do you call a group of women? Charles and Laura are recruited to articulate gossip, that which determines a social fabric, which was so threatening to patriarchal order that it sparked the witch trials, and may take up the majority of our speaking lives. We talk 16th century torture devices, manicures in the era of grooming, monkeys, and feminism. This episode was recorded live at the Art Gallery of NSW's Sydney Cinemathèqué. Thank you to Michael Sun for including us in his elegantly programmed series, Gossip. This podcast was recorded preceding our introduction for a screening of George Cukor's The women (1939).

Vanity Project are proud to present the first in the forthcoming trilogy of THREE COLOURS: White. In their first ever multi-episode saga Vanity Project daringly go where the likes of Aristotle and an exploratory lone monkey have gone before: to the White Material that made you. It’s an episode about semen, and the perfect recipe for how to increase your load. Through a textual and cultural analysis semen is the fulcrum for a new discourse on race, the cultivation of male sexuality, and the last funny movie, Bridesmaids. We brave The Colonial Cumshot, Images of Bliss, and Edmund White on Robert Maplethorpe. We ask, is cum kind of a gay guy thing? Where were you when Diddy threw the first White Party?

Who is the most famous Laura? It’s not the one in Vanity Project! In our Actress Double Feature reprise all eyes are on birthday girl Laura Dern. Four-time Academy-Awarded Best Actress Katherine Hepburn once said: "Show me an actress who isn't a personality, and you'll show me a woman who isn't a star." But what of a Best Supporting Actress?The supporting material this week is the holey epic Inland Empire (2006), the late David Lynch’s last feature, and confounding literary bio-flick JT Leroy (2018). What’s in a name? Laura and Charles attempt naming the unnameable genius of facial contortionist Laura Dern. When was the Dernaissance exactly? With Dern’s pre-historic Hollywood pedigree, she's fought worse Dinosaurs for years in Tinseltown!

Vanity Project are back! And this year they’re finally cleaning up their act! For the first time in a long time, Laura and Charles are fully clothed and somewhat researched. Following their threesome themed third birthday, they return with a speculative ficto-critical question that demands an answer… The question at hand? …How can we imagine the world without internet porn? Is it a porno-utoptia? Are we having more sex? Where’s Kim Kardashian? Is anybody listening to Vanity Project? It’s an X Rated Four Corners special, and VP have ventured into the unknown. Are they on the edge of something great, or are they just edging? Who’s to say!

This is Vanity Project’s most UNIQUE episode so far. Fierce contender for the coveted Third spot, Lottie World, joins the podcasters and takes them to a very special place… A place where Phallic Mothers meet Vaginal Fathers and we all sing Kumbaya. Star singer, entertainer, and storyteller Lottie asks us, where did the megafauna go? How are you feeling about Liam Payne’s death? Should we bleep my ex housemate’s name? Tickets on sale now to join us in Lottie’s perfect, voluptuous, effervescent, phallic, vaginal, UNIQUE! World on November 1st and 2nd for Vanity Project: Looking For A Third. https://events.humanitix.com/vanity-project-looking-for-a-third?_gl=1*1cuppqi*_gcl_au*ODI4ODcxMzEzLjE3Mjc0MDM2NzM.*_ga*NDg2NTUzMTg4LjE3Mjc0MDM2NzM.*_ga_LHKW5FR9N6*MTcyOTIxODQxOS40LjAuMTcyOTIxODQ1OC4yMS4wLjA.

Vanity Project are Looking For A Third, and the final judge to help them is none other than Janet Anderson! For the unitiated, Janet is a star of the stage and screen, occasional nightlife icon, and permanent effervescent beauty. Did you ever watch Glee? Or judge a fashion show in the Bronx? Have you ever imagined yourself on your hands and knees at your own star on the Hollywood walk of fame? Us neither! But Janet has all that and more. To see her help Vanity Project pick their perfect third buy your tickets now for November 1st and 2nd! https://events.humanitix.com/vanity-project-looking-for-a-third?_gl=1*1cuppqi*_gcl_au*ODI4ODcxMzEzLjE3Mjc0MDM2NzM.*_ga*NDg2NTUzMTg4LjE3Mjc0MDM2NzM.*_ga_LHKW5FR9N6*MTcyOTIxODQxOS40LjAuMTcyOTIxODQ1OC4yMS4wLjA.

Now three years and 100 episodes in, Vanity Project receive a mysterious unmarked letter, sealed with a loving kiss from The Queen. What happens at 100? Few dare to dream of reaching the milestone, fewer have the honour of telling the tale… It doesn’t matter if you joined Vanity Project at their “Go Piss Girl” or their “Neuter Naarm vs Sex Sydney” or in “New York City: The Lost Tapes” … they’re just glad you’re here. Celebrate with them as they look back to 100 years ago, and make some new commitments too.

Charles and Laura and joined by not one, but TWO potential candidates for their lucky third. Vanity Project has been graced by the talents that are Gus McGrath and Marcus Whale in a four-way verbal spar that has you asking, who’s sitting in whose lap? You may know Gus and Marcus from their FBI Radio show, Sleepless in Sydney, their band, Perfect Actress, or their epic solo writing and music practices. Once and for all we clear the air on which member of Vanity Project is Gus and which is Marcus? Can we four-way seal it with a loving kiss? It’s time to buy your tickets to the live show, Vanity Project: Looking For A Third for November 1st and 2nd https://events.humanitix.com/vanity-project-looking-for-a-third

Good things come in threes, and in this week’s ménage a trois Vanity Project is joined by part-time Donatella Versace impersonator, full-time Darlinghurst correspondent Theo Lathouras! Now, a mere three weeks away from Vanity Project: Looking for a Third, Laura and Charles are joined by their third guest - how auspicious! Theo is the perfect VP candidate; with the sex-appeal of Monica Belluci, the knowledge of Miranda Priestly, the attitude of Germaine Greer, and the wiles of Lydia Tár! Will Theo find himself sandwiched between VP once more, find out on the 1st and 2nd of November! GET YOUR TICKETS: https://events.humanitix.com/vanity-project-looking-for-a-third?_gl=1*1t4oqu9*_gcl_au*ODI4ODcxMzEzLjE3Mjc0MDM2NzM.*_ga*NDg2NTUzMTg4LjE3Mjc0MDM2NzM.*_ga_LHKW5FR9N6*MTcyODYwMTg5NS4zLjAuMTcyODYwMTg5Ni41OS4wLjA.

Charles and Laura are joined by the second judge of Looking For A Third, Lily Golightly! Many have tried to wrangle Lily Golightly behind a mic, few have succeeded. But now that Vanity Project has her hostage, you’ll be begging “Lily GoHarder!” Lily makes Vanity Project into Woo girls as they talk fondling, writing, bussing, and painting. We ask our favourite DIY school and publisher, Flower Books, what does she think about sex in a jacuzzi? Who is your favourite couple right now? When did you break your hymen? Vanity Projectors, these are your captains speaking, and we’re going to land this mother-fucking-plane. It’s time to buy your tickets to the live show, Vanity Project: Looking For A Third for November 1st and 2nd: https://ticketing.humanitix.com/tours/the-flying-nun-by-brand-x