533. Coaching Hotline: Wedding Planning & Why It Makes Us Feel Not Good Enough

Why does planning a wedding so often bring up feelings of not being good enough? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer a listener’s question about why wedding planning can trigger insecurities around your body, age, money, and worth. I explain how weddings have become tied up with social expectations, commercialization, and the pressure to create a perfect version of yourself.You'll hear how thought work can help you untangle the beliefs underneath those feelings, question the unrealistic standards you are holding yourself to, and decide what your wedding is actually about for you. Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/533Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoachingFollow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

My book "Take Back Your Brain: How a Sexist Society Gets in Your Head... and How to Get it Out" is available as an audiobook and hardcover wherever books and audiobooks are sold!Click here to order yours: unfuckyourbrain.com/book

We are all going to age. So why are women constantly being sold the idea that aging is something we should fight, prevent, or fix? In this episode, I unpack why the entire concept of “anti-aging” is worth questioning and how the pressure to look younger keeps women focused on monitoring, improving, and judging themselves instead of living their actual lives.I talk about why anti-aging is an impossible goal, how beauty standards shape the way women relate to themselves, and why changing your appearance cannot create the feelings you are actually looking for. You’ll learn how to take back authority over your own thoughts about aging and build a relationship with yourself that is not based on constantly trying to improve or fix who you are.Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/532Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoachingFollow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

When you are struggling to accept a painful reality, the question is not just “Why am I resisting this?” but “What am I afraid I will have to feel if I accept it?” In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer a listener’s question about her mother’s cognitive impairment diagnosis and why she cannot bring herself to learn more about what it might mean. You’ll learn why acceptance is not something you can force by gathering more information, and how exploring the thoughts and emotions underneath your resistance can help you process difficult situations with more compassion. Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/531Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoachingFollow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Speak Up is a live, 10-week coaching program where you’ll identify where you’ve been biting your tongue (and why), prove those reasons wrong in real time, and start speaking up for what you want.We start on Oct 5, 2026.Click here to learn more and enroll in Speak Up

Do you wish you could stop caring so much about what other people think? The problem is, you can't just tell your brain to stop caring and expect it to magically let go. In this Greatest Hits episode, I break down why so many women are stuck worrying about other people’s opinions and why the solution is not caring less about what they think, but caring more about what you think.You’ll learn why your brain fixates on other people’s judgments, how women are socialized to prioritize external approval, and why the thoughts you are afraid other people have about you are often the thoughts you still believe yourself. I show you how to build new beliefs that actually create freedom, so you can stop organizing your life around imagined opinions and start trusting your own perspective.Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/530Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoachingFollow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Do you want to share your ideas more boldly, but find yourself holding back because you’re afraid of how people will react? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer a listener’s question about becoming a more provocative thought leader in her business and what to do when fear of criticism gets in the way.I share what this has looked like in my own business, from putting off topics I knew would push people’s buttons to working through the fear of backlash as I continue to grow. We talk about why you do not need to find the perfect thoughts that make you feel completely confident before you take action, and why learning to move forward while feeling uncomfortable is part of doing meaningful work. Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/529Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoachingFollow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

What truth are you refusing to admit because you’re afraid of what it will mean? Maybe you know you want a different role at work, you’re questioning whether something in your relationship is working, or you keep saying yes to things you secretly do not want to do. In this episode, I share a recent moment when I realized I was doing exactly this in my own life. I discuss why your brain loves to confuse “this is true right now” with “this will always be true,” and how that keeps you stuck fighting reality instead of solving the actual problem. You’ll hear how telling myself the truth helped me make better decisions, ask for support, and stop wasting energy resisting what was already true. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/528Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoachingFollow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Have you ever tried to convince yourself you shouldn’t be upset, while still feeling completely resentful underneath? This week, I answer a Coaching Hotline question from a listener who feels frustrated that people attend her events less often than she attends theirs. I explore why resentment often comes from treating your assumptions about other people’s expectations as facts, why you can't coach yourself around a circumstance that is actually a thought, and how getting clear on what is really happening is the first step to changing the way you feel. Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/527Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoachingFollow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

How many times have you decided there is no point in asking for what you want because you probably won’t get it? Maybe you want to ask for a raise, a different role at work, more support from your partner, or a change in your relationship. Your brain has a million reasons why it won’t work, why it’s not the right time, or why wanting it says something bad about you.In this episode, I explain why that entire framework is backwards and why the point of asking is not just getting the answer you want. I break down why your brain is not a reliable predictor of what is possible, how fear of your own thoughts and emotions can keep you from speaking up, and why the most important outcome of asking is becoming someone who tells the truth about what she wants.Because when you stop making the ask about whether you get a yes, you stop handing other people control over what you believe you are allowed to want. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/526Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoachingFollow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/