518. Stop Asking Like You're Begging and Other Lessons from She's So Lucky with Les Alfred

Some endings are hard because the person is still alive, but the relationship you had with them is gone. This week, I answer a Coaching Hotline question from a listener who is grieving a friendship that has faded and struggling to find acceptance. I talk about why grief cannot be bypassed with the “right” thought and how allowing yourself to feel the loss is part of moving through it. You’ll hear why the goal is not to eliminate sadness or anger, but to stop fighting the emotions that are keeping you stuck.Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotlineGet full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/521Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoachingFollow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/Mentioned in this episode:What’s really blocking you from speaking up?You already suspect you hold back from asking for what you want or telling the truth about how you feel. But did you know that there are three main Speak Up Barriers that prevent women from getting what they want in life? This free quiz shows you which one is causing you the most trouble, so you can finally ask for the raise, ask for the help, and have that conversation you’ve been rehearsing in the shower. To take the quiz, go to: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/quizTake the free quiz here!

Have you ever been so angry that you wanted to say something immediately, but you also knew you were probably not in the clearest state of mind? In this episode, I walk you through a real moment from my own life where I was furious, activated, and very tempted to send an angry email. I show you how I coached myself through the emotion, got curious about the thoughts underneath it, and found a way to speak up without either exploding or shutting down. You'll learn how to separate what you can control from what you cannot when you are dealing with other people’s choices, and why speaking up for yourself does not require you to be perfectly calm, perfectly right, or perfectly regulated first. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/520Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoachingFollow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/Mentioned in this episode:What’s really blocking you from speaking up?You already suspect you hold back from asking for what you want or telling the truth about how you feel. But did you know that there are three main Speak Up Barriers that prevent women from getting what they want in life? This free quiz shows you which one is causing you the most trouble, so you can finally ask for the raise, ask for the help, and have that conversation you’ve been rehearsing in the shower. To take the quiz, go to: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/quizTake the free quiz here!

How do you know if you are truly processing an emotion or just stuck thinking about it over and over? This week, I answer a Coaching Hotline question about the difference between allowing a negative emotion and getting caught in a cycle of recreating it. I explain why the question is not whether you are “indulging” an emotion, but whether you are allowing feelings to move through your body or continuing to fuel them with the same thoughts on repeat.Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotlineGet full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/519Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/Mentioned in this episode:What’s really blocking you from speaking up?You already suspect you hold back from asking for what you want or telling the truth about how you feel. But did you know that there are three main Speak Up Barriers that prevent women from getting what they want in life? This free quiz shows you which one is causing you the most trouble, so you can finally ask for the raise, ask for the help, and have that conversation you’ve been rehearsing in the shower. To take the quiz, go to: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/quizTake the free quiz here!

What if the thing you’re calling “luck” is actually a combination of preparation, self-belief, and being willing to create your own opportunities?In this episode, I’m joined by Les Alfred, host of the podcast She’s So Lucky, to talk about the biggest lessons she’s learned from conversations with successful women. We discuss why women often wait for outside validation, how to stop treating every ask like you're begging, and why there is more than one path to creating the life and career you want.Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/518Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoachingFollow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/Mentioned in this episode:What’s really blocking you from speaking up?You already suspect you hold back from asking for what you want or telling the truth about how you feel. But did you know that there are three main Speak Up Barriers that prevent women from getting what they want in life? This free quiz shows you which one is causing you the most trouble, so you can finally ask for the raise, ask for the help, and have that conversation you’ve been rehearsing in the shower. To take the quiz, go to: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/quizTake the free quiz here!

Do you ever get stuck in the cycle of losing your temper with your kids, then immediately judging yourself as a terrible parent? This week, I answer a Coaching Hotline question from a listener who is worried that yelling is damaging her children. You'll hear why shame makes it harder to change, how to separate a behavior from your identity, and why seeing this as a skills gap instead of a character flaw gives you the ability to actually grow.Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotlineGet full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/517Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/Mentioned in this episode:What’s really blocking you from speaking up?You already suspect you hold back from asking for what you want or telling the truth about how you feel. But did you know that there are three main Speak Up Barriers that prevent women from getting what they want in life? This free quiz shows you which one is causing you the most trouble, so you can finally ask for the raise, ask for the help, and have that conversation you’ve been rehearsing in the shower. To take the quiz, go to: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/quizTake the free quiz here!

Do you tend to shut down and emotionally check out when things feel difficult? Or maybe you take over and try to control every outcome. In this episode, I explain why these two reactions are actually two sides of the same coin: attempts to avoid uncomfortable thoughts and feelings. Your brain is trying to protect you, but these strategies can keep you from being honest, asking for what you want, and creating the relationships and life you actually want.This week, I walk you through how to recognize when you’re moving into control mode or checking out, get curious about the thoughts driving those reactions, and start separating the facts of a situation from the story your brain creates about it. The goal is not to judge yourself for these patterns, but to understand what problem your brain is trying to solve so you can choose a different response.Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/516Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoachingFollow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/Mentioned in this episode:What’s really blocking you from speaking up?You already suspect you hold back from asking for what you want or telling the truth about how you feel. But did you know that there are three main Speak Up Barriers that prevent women from getting what they want in life? This free quiz shows you which one is causing you the most trouble, so you can finally ask for the raise, ask for the help, and have that conversation you’ve been rehearsing in the shower. To take the quiz, go to: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/quizTake the free quiz here!

Do you believe that if you stop criticizing yourself, your work will suffer? This week, I answer a Coaching Hotline question from a listener who worries that letting go of perfectionism will make her less motivated, less productive, or less successful. Tune in to hear why I believe the opposite is true, and how changing the way you motivate yourself can actually create more freedom, creativity, and success. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/515Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoachingFollow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/Mentioned in this episode:What’s really blocking you from speaking up?You already suspect you hold back from asking for what you want or telling the truth about how you feel. But did you know that there are three main Speak Up Barriers that prevent women from getting what they want in life? This free quiz shows you which one is causing you the most trouble, so you can finally ask for the raise, ask for the help, and have that conversation you’ve been rehearsing in the shower. To take the quiz, go to: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/quizTake the free quiz here!

You already suspect you hold back from asking for what you want or telling the truth about how you feel. But did you know that there are three main Speak Up Barriers that prevent women from getting what they want in life?This free quiz shows you which one is causing you the most trouble, so you can finally ask for the raise, ask for the help, and have that conversation you’ve been rehearsing in the shower.Take the free quiz here!

Your brain is not giving you an objective report of reality. It's constantly filtering, editing, and creating a story based on what it already believes about you and the world. In this episode, I explain how your brain decides what information to pay attention to, why confirmation bias keeps you stuck in old patterns, and how the stories you believe can become self-fulfilling prophecies.Listen in as I break down why you cannot always trust the evidence your brain presents as proof, especially when you are making decisions about what is possible for you. I also share a simple exercise to help you separate facts from the stories your brain creates, so you can start noticing the evidence you have been ignoring and build a different relationship with your thoughts.Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/514Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoachingFollow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/Mentioned in this episode:What’s really blocking you from speaking up?You already suspect you hold back from asking for what you want or telling the truth about how you feel. But did you know that there are three main Speak Up Barriers that prevent women from getting what they want in life? This free quiz shows you which one is causing you the most trouble, so you can finally ask for the raise, ask for the help, and have that conversation you’ve been rehearsing in the shower. To take the quiz, go to: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/quizTake the free quiz here!

Are you staying in a relationship because you truly want to stay, or because you are afraid of what you will think about yourself if you leave? This week, I answer a Coaching Hotline question from a listener who is wondering whether she is staying in her marriage because she wants to or because she is scared of how mean she will be to herself if she chooses to leave. I share why you cannot make a clear decision when you are also preparing to punish yourself for one of the options, and why learning to trust yourself is the first step to making choices from confidence instead of fear. Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/513Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoachingFollow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/Mentioned in this episode:What’s really blocking you from speaking up?You already suspect you hold back from asking for what you want or telling the truth about how you feel. But did you know that there are three main Speak Up Barriers that prevent women from getting what they want in life? This free quiz shows you which one is causing you the most trouble, so you can finally ask for the raise, ask for the help, and have that conversation you’ve been rehearsing in the shower. To take the quiz, go to: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/quizTake the free quiz here!