Why Playing It Safe Is Holding You Back (and How to Fail Forward Instead) with Lorraine H. Marchand | 389

Let’s talk about the glow-up no one told you about: the one where you hit midlife and suddenly cannot be bothered with other people’s bullshit anymore. Because somewhere between perimenopause, professional burnout, emotional labor overload, and decades of people-pleasing, something shifts. You stop cushioning your words. You stop managing everyone else’s feelings like it’s your unpaid side hustle. And when someone asks, “Are you okay?” the answer is, “Better than ever. I just ran out of estrogen—and tolerance.” In this episode, Nicole sits down with licensed clinical therapist Ellen Scherr to unpack the neuroscience behind what she calls “aging out of f*cks.” Spoiler alert: this isn’t bitterness. It’s biology. As estrogen declines in midlife, it impacts multiple neurochemical systems in the brain—systems tied to anxiety, people-pleasing, anger regulation, and emotional buffering. The “popular girl at the party” (aka estrogen) leaves… and suddenly the whole dynamic changes. What once felt like obligation starts to feel optional. What once felt terrifying starts to feel negotiable. And what once felt like “I should” becomes “Do I even want to?” They dive into: The neuroscience of perimenopause and menopause—and how hormonal changes impact confidence, risk-taking, and people-pleasing Why women’s confidence actually increases with age (and can surpass men’s in their 60s) The lifelong cost of emotional labor—and why it starts to break down in midlife How negativity bias keeps women stuck in fear (and how to reframe it) The difference between legitimate feedback and social punishment Why so many women make bold career, relationship, and life changes in their 40s, 50s, and beyond Whether it’s possible to “speed up” the process of caring less in your 20s and 30s This isn’t about blowing up your life. It’s about understanding the neuroscience of midlife, reclaiming your authenticity, setting boundaries, and rewiring old people-pleasing patterns. Aging out of f*cks isn’t decline—it’s development. It’s honesty over harmony. And if you’re suddenly “too much”? Good. You’re not here to be palatable. You’re here to be you. Thank you to our sponsors! Shopify has everything all in one place, making your life easier and your business operations smoother. Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial today at shopify.com/tiww  Connect with Ellen: Website: www.lifebranches.com Substack: https://substack.com/search/blog.lifebranches.com?utm_source=global-search  Oprah Daily: https://substack.com/search/blog.lifebranches.com?utm_source=global-search  Related Podcast Episodes: The Stress Paradox: Why We Need Stress (and How to Make It Work for Us) with Dr. Sharon Horesh Bergquist | 294 How To Listen When Your Parts Speak (IFS Therapy + Ancestral Wisdom) with Tamala Floyd | 376 Am I Being a B**ch? (…or Just Finally in My Power) with Megan Walrod | 349 Share the Love: If you found this episode insightful, please share it with a friend, tag us on social media, and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform! 🔗 Subscribe & Review:Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We love a good “never quit” mantra. Hustle. Grind. Push through. Stay committed. But what if the bravest move isn’t doubling down… it’s pivoting? In this episode of This Is Woman’s Work, Nicole Kalil sits down with Melissa Gonzalez — principal at MG2, shareholder at Collier’s Engineering and Design, founder of The Lioness Group, and author of The Purpose of Pivot: How Dynamic Leaders Put Vulnerability and Intuition into Action — to unpack one of the hardest leadership and life questions: How do you know when it’s time to pivot? Because staying the course can be grit… or it can be self-betrayal.And pivoting can be courage… or it can be avoidance. The line? Blurry as hell. Together, they explore how to tell the difference between fear and intuition, discomfort and misalignment, commitment and stuckness — and how to make intentional, purpose-driven decisions without blowing up your entire life (unless you actually need to). They explore: The physical and emotional signs it’s time to pivot How to run an “energy audit” to see what fuels vs. drains you The difference between purposeful change and running away Why clarity about your purpose makes decisions easier How to stop letting other people’s opinions drive your choices Because pivoting doesn’t require certainty. It requires discernment. And staying isn’t noble if it’s shrinking you. The goal isn’t to get it perfect. It’s to stay in relationship with yourself while you decide. Thank you to our sponsors! Shopify has everything all in one place, making your life easier and your business operations smoother. Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial today at shopify.com/tiww  Connect with Melissa: Website: https://www.melissagonzalez.com/ Book: https://www.amazon.com/Purpose-Pivot-Dynamic-Vulnerability-Intuition/dp/1394329474  IG: https://www.instagram.com/melsstyles/ LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melissagonzalezlionesque/ Related Podcast Episodes: 129 / 4 Truths of Radiant Change with Kristen Lisanti 5-Steps To Making Big Decisions with Abby Davisson | 222  How To Rewire Patterns That No Longer Serve You with Judy Wilkins-Smith | 323 Share the Love: If you found this episode insightful, please share it with a friend, tag us on social media, and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform! 🔗 Subscribe & Review:Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What happens when a woman refuses to follow the script she was handed? In this episode of This Is Woman’s Work, Nicole Kalil sits down with award-winning journalist, bestselling author, and former Good Morning America co-host Joan Lunden to talk about reinvention, leadership, pay equity, aging, caregiving, and choosing yourself — again and again. Joan was offered the co-host role at Good Morning America the same day she found out she was pregnant. In the 1970s. When working mothers were barely visible on television, and “breastfeeding” wasn’t even a word you could say on air. She brought her baby to work anyway. Throughout her career, she negotiated creative compensation before pay equity was a mainstream conversation, pushed back on being labeled “second banana,” navigated public scrutiny, and later reinvented herself again — this time as a fierce advocate for women’s health, breast cancer awareness, dense breast legislation, and caregiver rights. In this conversation, she shares: How to reinvent yourself at every stage of life What it takes to negotiate power in male-dominated spaces The pressure of being the “perfect working mom” How she handled media criticism and public expectations Why sisterhood and strong women behind the scenes mattered most Joan’s story is proof that reinvention isn’t a phase — it’s a practice. And ambition doesn’t expire just because culture says it should. Choosing yourself isn’t one bold move. It’s a lifetime of them. Thank you to our sponsors! Shopify has everything all in one place, making your life easier and your business operations smoother. Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial today at shopify.com/tiww  Connect with Joan: Website: https://joanlunden.com/ Book: https://www.amazon.com/JOAN-Beyond-Script-Joan-Lunden/dp/1637634927/  IG: https://www.instagram.com/therealjoanlunden/ FB: https://www.facebook.com/JoanLunden Related Podcast Episodes: Reinventing Your Career (Again and Again) with Ilana Golan | 374 Your Value Doesn’t Expire: Career Reinvention Over 40 with Loren Greiff | 344 Big Trust Energy: How to Build Self-Trust When Self-Doubt Won’t Shut Up with Dr. Shadé Zahrai | 380 Share the Love: If you found this episode insightful, please share it with a friend, tag us on social media, and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform! 🔗 Subscribe & Review:Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This podcast often explores ambition, leadership, confidence, and impact. But sometimes? Woman’s work looks a whole lot more like survival. Not the inspirational quote version. Not the neat-and-tidy comeback story. Not the “and then she rose” highlight reel. This episode of This Is Woman’s Work dives into the raw, relentless, day-by-day kind of survival — the kind that asks someone to keep showing up while life is actively coming apart. Nicole Kalil is joined by Kathy Giusti — two-time cancer survivor, healthcare entrepreneur, founder of the Multiple Myeloma Research Foundation (MMRF), and author of Fatal to Fearless. After being diagnosed with multiple myeloma at 37 and given three years to live, Kathy turned her prognosis into a movement that helped transform cancer research and dramatically extend life expectancy for patients. Yes. From terminal diagnosis to systemic change. In This Episode, They Discuss: What survival really looks like after a terminal cancer diagnosis Why resilience isn’t pretty — and rarely feels brave in the moment The difference between “fighting” cancer and running a marathon with it How to advocate for yourself inside a broken healthcare system Why women must step into the role of CEO of their own healthcare The power (and responsibility) of using social media wisely for medical information The hard truth about boundaries, burnout, and forgetting to live while trying to stay alive Kathy shares what it meant to raise a family while preparing for death. To build a global research foundation while undergoing chemotherapy. To carry hope, fear, responsibility, and grief — all at once. And perhaps most powerfully, she shares the regret she didn’t anticipate: that in trying to save her life (and so many others), she sometimes forgot to fully live it. Thank you to our sponsors! Shopify has everything all in one place, making your life easier and your business operations smoother. Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial today at shopify.com/tiww  Connect with Kathy: Website: https://www.kathygiusti.com/ Book: https://www.kathygiusti.com/book  LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kathygiusti/ IG: https://www.instagram.com/kathy.giusti/ FB: https://www.facebook.com/KathyGiustiMMRF Related Podcast Episodes: 161 / Survivorship and Breast Cancer with Virginia Carnesale  156 / Cell Care with Dr. Monisha Bhanote I’ve Got Beef With The Health & Wellness Industry | Unfiltered & Unhinged Share the Love: If you found this episode insightful, please share it with a friend, tag us on social media, and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform! 🔗 Subscribe & Review:Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Let’s talk about the thing you replay over and over in your mind at 2 a.m. The comment in the meeting. The story you shared. The truth that felt a little too honest. Welcome to the oversharing hangover. We’ve been taught that credibility requires polish and power lives in restraint. Keep it tight. Keep it tidy. Keep the messy parts to yourself. But what if that’s wrong? In this episode, Nicole sits down with Leslie John, Harvard Business School professor and author of Revealing: The Underrated Power of Oversharing, to unpack what the research actually says about vulnerability, trust, and credibility — and why saying less might be costing you more than you think. In This Episode, We Explore: Why oversharing can build trust The difference between thoughtful revealing and emotional dumping How admitting mistakes can increase credibility at work The “Goldilocks rule” of vulnerability How to weigh the cost of revealing vs. staying silent The research is clear: we consistently trust people who reveal something real more than those who stay guarded. And thoughtful vulnerability doesn’t weaken your credibility — it strengthens it Thank you to our sponsors! Sex is a skill. Beducated is where you learn it. Visit https://beducate.me/bg2602-womanswork and use code womanswork for 50% off the annual pass. Shopify has everything all in one place, making your life easier and your business operations smoother. Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial today at shopify.com/tiww  Connect with Leslie: Website: https://www.lesliekjohn.com/  Book: https://www.amazon.com/Revealing-Underrated-Oversharing-Leslie-John/dp/0593545389 LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/leslie-john-75928721/  IG: https://www.instagram.com/proflesliejohn/  Related Podcast Episodes: Big Trust Energy: How to Build Self-Trust When Self-Doubt Won’t Shut Up with Dr. Shadé Zahrai | 380 How To Be Yourself At Work: Authentic Presence Over Executive Presence with Claude Silver | 366 How To Tame Your Inner Critic (Without Gaslighting Yourself) with Megan Dalla-Camina | 354 Share the Love: If you found this episode insightful, please share it with a friend, tag us on social media, and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform! 🔗 Subscribe & Review:Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We talk a lot about dreaming bigger — but not nearly enough about what it actually costs to play it safe. Fear of failure keeps brilliant ideas stuck in our heads, careers stalled, and confidence quietly eroding. In this episode of This Is Woman’s Work, Nicole Kalil is joined by Lorraine H. Marchand, innovation expert, Wharton professor, and author of No Fear, No Failure. Together, they unpack why failure isn’t the enemy — avoidance is. From reframing fear as data, to designing smarter experiments, to creating cultures (and inner narratives) where learning beats perfection, this conversation is a permission slip to try, fail, learn… and keep going. If you’ve ever felt paralyzed by getting it wrong, worried about failing publicly, or trapped by environments that say they want innovation but punish mistakes — this episode is for you. We explore: Why fear of failure shuts down growth faster than actual failure ever could How to reframe failure as learning (and why that changes everything) Why women are more likely to internalize failure — and how to stop How to test ideas without burning it all down What “failing forward” looks like in real life (not just on LinkedIn) How to stop being afraid of other people seeing you try Because growth doesn’t happen without risk — and playing it safe has a cost. Thank you to our sponsors! Sex is a skill. Beducated is where you learn it. Visit https://beducate.me/bg2602-womanswork and use code womanswork for 50% off the annual pass. Shopify has everything all in one place, making your life easier and your business operations smoother. Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial today at shopify.com/tiww  Connect with Lorraine: Website: https://www.lorrainemarchand.com/  Book: https://www.lorrainemarchand.com/no-fear-no-failure/  LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lorrainemarchand  Related Podcast Episodes: 197 / Fear & Failure (Part 1) with Amy Green Smith 181 / Stress Less and Fear(Less) with Rebecca Heiss VI4P - Perfectionism and Failure (Chapter 6) If you found this episode insightful, please share it with a friend, tag us on social media, and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform! 🔗 Subscribe & Review:Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever read something that felt like it was pulled straight from your own brain? That was me reading Nora McInerney’s Substack about what she calls restless life syndrome — the persistent, low-grade feeling that you’re meant to be living at least 14 different lives… and somehow squeezing them all into this one. So naturally, I diagnosed myself.  In this unfiltered and unhinged episode of This Is Woman’s Work, I’m sharing my own wildly impractical, slightly delusional, deeply human “restless life” list. This isn’t a five-step plan. It’s a permission slip. Because maybe your 12 open tabs, your urge to burn it all down, and your conviction that fulfillment is one hobby away aren’t signs that you’re broken. Maybe they’re signs that you’re awake. If you’ve been craving reinvention, dreaming of multiple lives, or quietly wondering what else is possible beyond productivity and responsibility, this episode on restless life syndrome will hit home — and maybe light a tiny, rebellious fire. Thank you to our sponsors! Sex is a skill. Beducated is where you learn it. Visit https://beducate.me/bg2602-womanswork and use code womanswork for 50% off the annual pass. Shopify has everything all in one place, making your life easier and your business operations smoother. Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial today at shopify.com/tiww  Connect with Nicole: Subscribe to Nicole’s Substack: https://nicolekalil.substack.com/  Join the Inner Circle: https://nicolekalil.myflodesk.com/newsletter  Related Podcast Episode: Yell for Help | Unfiltered & Unhinged Ask the Damn Question | Unfiltered & Unhinged I’ve Got Beef With The Health & Wellness Industry | Unfiltered & Unhinged Share the Love: If you found this episode insightful, please share it with a friend, tag us on social media, and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform! 🔗 Subscribe & Review:Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if being a “good woman” isn’t actually virtuous — but conditioned? In this episode of This Is Woman’s Work, Nicole Kalil sits down with Elise Loehnen, New York Times bestselling author of On Our Best Behavior: The Price Women Pay to Be Good, to dismantle the centuries-old rules that still dictate how women are expected to behave, desire, rest, earn, and lead. Together, they unpack how the seven deadly sins — yes, those — quietly shape modern women’s lives, ambitions, bodies, money stories, and relationships. Pride, envy, greed, sloth, lust… turns out they’ve been weaponized against women for generations, rewarding self-sacrifice and punishing visibility, appetite, and power. This conversation goes deep — into patriarchy, good-girl conditioning, reputational harm, money shame, envy as information, and why women are often both the enforcers and the casualties of these ancient rules. If you’ve ever felt exhausted by trying to be good, likable, selfless, and low-maintenance all at once… this episode is your permission slip to stop. Because goodness that costs you yourself isn’t goodness. It’s conditioning. Thank you to our sponsors! Sex is a skill. Beducated is where you learn it. Visit https://beducate.me/bg2602-womanswork and use code womanswork for 50% off the annual pass. Shopify has everything all in one place, making your life easier and your business operations smoother. Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial today at shopify.com/tiww  Connect with Elise: Substack: eliseloehnen.substack.com  IG: https://www.instagram.com/eliseloehnen/  Book: https://www.eliseloehnen.com/onourbestbehavior  Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/pulling-the-thread-with-elise-loehnen/id1585015034   Related Podcast Episodes: 136 / Mean Girls with Caroline Adams Miller How To Defy Expectations with Dr. Sunita Sah | 271 From Mean Girls to Hype Women with Erin Gallagher | 353 Share the Love: If you found this episode insightful, please share it with a friend, tag us on social media, and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform! 🔗 Subscribe & Review:Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We’ve been taught to avoid it — to hide it, shame it, or outwork it. But what if failure isn’t the thing that destroys confidence… what if it’s the thing that builds it? In this episode of This Is Woman’s Work, Nicole Kalil sits down with Jane Chen, co-founder of Embrace Global and author of Like a Wave, We Break, to talk about what happens when success collapses — and why that moment might be the most honest, transformative chapter of your life. Jane shares the raw story of losing the company she poured a decade into, how her identity unraveled alongside it, and the healing journey that followed — from redefining resilience and self-worth to learning how to listen to her body, sit with discomfort, and rebuild from a place of authenticity instead of achievement. This conversation dives deep into: Why failure is a confidence builder, not a confidence killer How achievement can become a trauma response Separating your worth from your results, titles, and accolades Knowing when to keep pushing — and when it’s time to stop The role of self-compassion, community, and psychological safety in leadership Why breaking isn’t the end… it’s often the beginning Because confidence isn’t built by never falling apart. It’s built by trusting yourself to rise again. This episode is a powerful reminder that failure, fear, and doubt aren’t detours — they’re part of the path. When we stop chasing perfection and start honoring what’s real, we build the kind of confidence that actually lasts. Thank you to our sponsors! Sex is a skill. Beducated is where you learn it. Visit https://beducate.me/bg2602-womanswork and use code womanswork for 50% off the annual pass. Shopify has everything all in one place, making your life easier and your business operations smoother. Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial today at shopify.com/tiww Connect with Jane Website: https://www.janemariechen.com Book: https://www.amazon.com/Like-Wave-We-Break-Falling/dp/0593582349 IG: https://www.instagram.com/janemarie.chen/?hl=en  LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/janemariechen/ FB: www.facebook.com/janemariechen  Tiktok: @janemariechen TEDtalk: https://www.ted.com/talks/jane_marie_chen_what_losing_everything_taught_me_about_resilience Related Podcast Episodes: The Biology Of Trauma - And How To Heal It with Dr. Aimie Apigian | 346 How To Listen When Your Parts Speak (IFS Therapy + Ancestral Wisdom) with Tamala Floyd | 376 Five Habits of Hope with Dr. Julia Garcia | 365 Share the Love: If you found this episode insightful, please share it with a friend, tag us on social media, and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform! 🔗 Subscribe & Review:Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you’ve ever wondered “Do I actually matter?” — not in a motivational-poster way, but in the deep, existential, 3am-staring-at-the-ceiling way — this episode is for you. In this powerful conversation, Nicole Kalil sits down with Rebecca Neuberger Goldstein, award-winning philosopher and author of The Mattering Instinct: How Our Deepest Longing Drives Us and Divides Us, to unpack one of the most fundamental human needs: the need to matter. Together, they explore why mattering may be even more essential than happiness, how our desire to matter shapes our lives, relationships, and conflicts, and why the pressure to prove our worth often leads to comparison, competition, and division. Rebecca introduces the concept of “mattering projects” — the deeply personal ways we justify our lives to ourselves — and why there is no single “right” way to matter. This episode challenges the idea that mattering is loud, performative, or scarce, and reframes it as an inside-out experience rooted in integrity, connection, and self-justification — not productivity, perfection, or approval. 💥 What we cover: Why the need to matter may be more fundamental than the need to be happy The difference between fleeting happiness and long-term flourishing What a “mattering project” is — and how to recognize yours Why comparison and competition distort our sense of worth How mattering becomes dangerous when treated as a zero-sum game Why the person you most need to matter to… is you How women have been taught to confuse usefulness with worth The ethical guardrail: you matter and so does everyone else Mattering isn’t about being extraordinary, productive, or universally admired — it’s about living in alignment with what you can justify to yourself. You matter not because you prove it, but because you’re here, shaping lives through how you live, lead, and relate. Thank you to our sponsors! Sex is a skill. Beducated is where you learn it. Visit https://beducate.me/bg2602-womanswork and use code womanswork for 50% off the annual pass. Connect with Rebecca Website: https://rebeccagoldstein.com/  Book: https://rebeccagoldstein.com/the-mattering-instinct/  Substack: https://rebeccanewbergergoldstein.substack.com/  Related Podcast Episodes: Finding Purpose Through Human Design with Emma Dunwoody | 228 Practical Intuition For Bold, Better Decisions with Laura Day | 360 Big Trust Energy: How to Build Self-Trust When Self-Doubt Won’t Shut Up with Dr. Shadé Zahrai | 380 Share the Love: If you found this episode insightful, please share it with a friend, tag us on social media, and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform! 🔗 Subscribe & Review:Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices