Beyond Quick Fixes: Building Better Mental Health From the Inside Out with Dr. Celeste Birkhofer | 431

What if midlife isn’t the beginning of the decline, but the beginning of something entirely new? We’ve been sold a pretty outdated life plan: learn, work, climb, achieve, retire. Preferably while raising children, maintaining friendships, exercising, drinking enough water, keeping our relationships interesting, remembering everyone’s birthdays, and figuring out what the fuck is happening to our hormones. Yeah. That plan could use an update. In this episode of This Is Woman’s Work, Nicole Kalil talks with Lynda Gratton, one of the world’s leading experts on the future of work, professor of management practice at London Business School, and author of Living the Hundred Year Life: How to Build a Career That Lasts and a Life You Love. They explore: Why the traditional learn-work-retire model no longer fits a 100-year life How longer lifespans are changing careers, retirement, and the future of work Why women have been living multi-stage careers long before workplaces caught up The eight “threads” that help create a fulfilling, sustainable life and career Why relationships, friendship, adventure, and calm are essential to avoiding burnout Why calm may be one of the most neglected resources in women’s lives How to create more calm without pretending we suddenly have hours of free time The difference between the future self you hope for, expect, and fear Why adventure doesn’t require blowing up your life or booking a trip around the world Why you might want to take a little piece of retirement now instead of saving all of it for someday So if you’re asking, “What’s next for me?” maybe you don’t need the entire answer yet. Maybe you get to keep weaving, experimenting, and choosing as you go. Thank you to our sponsors! Protect your loved ones without spying on them. Go to HeyPolo.com/work or use code WORK and get 40% off your first year Connect with Lynda: Website: https://www.livingthe100yearlife.com/  Book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Living-100-Year-Life-build-career/dp/1399432966/ref=sr_1_1  LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lynda-gratton-3b179813/    Assessment: https://www.livingthe100yearlife.com/assessment  Related Podcast Episodes: On Sabbaticals, Reinvention, and Getting Older | Unfiltered & Unhinged JoySpan: A Smarter Way To Age Well (And Break Free From Anti-Aging Culture) with Dr. Kerry Burnight | 425 Why “Rewirement” Beats Retirement (and How to Do It Right) with Anne Chow | 350 Share the Love: If you found this episode insightful, please share it with a friend, tag us on social media, and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform! 🔗 Subscribe & Review:Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Somewhere along the way, a lot of us got way too practical. We learned what’s realistic, reasonable, and likely to work. We became responsible adults who pay the mortgage and don’t launch every half-baked idea that hits us in the shower. Great. But what if being “realistic” is sometimes just fear with better branding? In this episode of This Is Woman’s Work, Nicole Kalil talks with Dr. Salima Bhimani, moonshot architect, entrepreneur, former Alphabet Chief Strategist for Responsible Technology, CEO of 10x Responsible Tech, and author of Invent Now: The Next Leap in Moonshots. Salima challenges the idea that innovation, AI, emerging technology, and moonshot thinking belong exclusively to Silicon Valley geniuses with billion-dollar budgets. Instead, she argues that human ingenuity exists everywhere—and that the future gets a hell of a lot more interesting when everyday people stop being passive recipients of technology and start participating in what gets built. They explore: What a moonshot idea actually is—and why it’s not just for tech billionaires Why Salima believes we’re wasting enormous amounts of human genius and potential How AI and emerging technology are lowering the barriers to innovation Why humanity—not technology—is the real moonshot How to stop underestimating your own ability to create change and make an impact The importance of community and collaboration when solving complex problems Why we tend to underestimate our own impact while wildly overestimating everyone else’s How purpose and creativity can emerge during messy, uncertain seasons of life Why friction, frustration, and problems may be exactly where the best ideas are hiding What Salima calls the “third space,” where human ingenuity and technology come together This isn’t about convincing everyone to cure cancer, build the next Google, or become an inventor. It’s about getting a little less impressed by what’s “realistic” and a lot more curious about what could be possible. Thank you to our sponsors! Protect your loved ones without spying on them. Go to HeyPolo.com/work or use code WORK and get 40% off your first year Connect with Salima: Website: https://salimabhimani.com/  Book: https://www.amazon.com/Invent-Now-Next-Leap-Moonshots/dp/1394394020  IG: https://www.instagram.com/moonshotmaven_salimabhimani/  Related Podcast Episodes Pioneers: 8 Principles for Building a Business That Lasts with Neri Karra Sillaman | 383 AI, Hiring, and the Future of Work (Without Selling Your Soul) with Katie Fortunato | 395 AQ: The Intelligence You Actually Need (And Why IQ & EQ Aren’t Enough) with Liz Tran | 386 Share the Love: If you found this episode insightful, please share it with a friend, tag us on social media, and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform! 🔗 Subscribe & Review:Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We’re living in the age of the quick fix. Three steps to happiness. One habit to eliminate anxiety. A supplement for every symptom. Enough already. Because grief is complicated. Mental health is complicated. Relationships are complicated. We are complicated. And when we reduce deeply human experiences into easy solutions, we don’t just oversimplify the problem—we risk making people believe they’re the problem. In this episode of This Is Woman’s Work, Nicole Kalil talks with Dr. Celeste Birkhofer, clinical psychologist, adjunct clinical faculty member at Stanford Medical School, and author of Beyond Quick Fixes. Together, they explore the five inner resources that support mental health, emotional resilience, healthy relationships, and personal growth—and why strengthening ourselves from the inside out matters more than finding the next hack. They explore: The five inner resources that create a stronger foundation for mental health and well-being How to develop a healthy sense of self, self-esteem, agency, and self-compassion Why coping strategies learned in childhood may no longer serve us as adults The difference between healthy coping and patterns of over-control, avoidance, numbing, or perfectionism Why strong relationships—and learning to tolerate disappointment and repair ruptures—are essential to well-being How to ask for the kind of support you actually need instead of expecting people to magically know Why self-compassion and personal growth can (and should) exist at the same time What the “wise self” is and how to strengthen and trust that internal voice Why professional mental health support matters when life becomes painful or overwhelming The work isn’t to constantly fix ourselves. It’s to know ourselves, strengthen ourselves, and build the inner resources that help us meet whatever life hands us with more capacity, compassion, resilience, and trust. Thank you to our sponsors! Protect your loved ones without spying on them. Go to HeyPolo.com/work or use code WORK and get 40% off your first year Connect with Celeste: Website: https://www.celestebirkhofer.com/  Book: https://www.amazon.com/Beyond-Quick-Fixes-Ingredients-Fulfilling/dp/B0GRWSRJLK  IG: https://www.instagram.com/celestebirkhofer  FB: https://www.facebook.com/celeste.birkhofer   LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/celeste-birkhofer-phd-psyd-85525a9/  Substack: https://drcelestebirkhofer.substack.com/  Brainzmagazine: https://www.brainzmagazine.com/executive-contributor/celeste-birkhofer  Related Podcast Episodes: Stop Saying “I’m Fine”: Nervous System Regulation for High-Achieving Women with Michelle Grosser | 372 The Biology Of Trauma - And How To Heal It with Dr. Aimie Apigian | 346 Grown-Up Goals: The 5 Pillars Of Being A Healthy Adult with Michelle Chalfant | 317 Share the Love: If you found this episode insightful, please share it with a friend, tag us on social media, and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform! 🔗 Subscribe & Review:Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Women have been told for years that they need to negotiate more—but what if that isn't the real problem? In this episode, Nicole welcomes negotiation consultant, Harvard research fellow, and founder of Moon Negotiation, Joan Moon, to unpack what the research actually says about women and negotiation. Together, they challenge outdated myths, explore the impact of gender bias at the bargaining table, and share practical strategies that help women advocate for themselves without abandoning who they are. From salary conversations to flexible work arrangements and everyday communication, this conversation reveals that negotiation isn't about becoming more aggressive—it's about becoming more strategic.  In This Episode Nicole and Joan Discuss: Why the idea that women are "bad negotiators" is a myth unsupported by research. How gender bias—not lack of skill—often influences negotiation outcomes. Why women excel when negotiating for others but face different expectations when advocating for themselves. The power of the win-win approach and how to frame requests around shared success. How asking better questions leads to stronger negotiation outcomes, and why listening is often a negotiator's greatest advantage. The importance of uncovering the other person's underlying interests instead of making assumptions. How to negotiate non-salary benefits like flexibility, time, and professional support. Practical strategies for performance reviews, raises, and promotion conversations. Common negotiation mistakes women make—and how to avoid them. Together, these insights offer a practical roadmap for approaching negotiation with confidence, clarity, and a win-win mindset.  Thank you to our sponsors! Start your risk-free Greenlight trial today at Greenlight.com/TIWW. Don't wait to teach your kids real-world money skills! Connect with Joan: Website: ww.moonnegotiation.com  IG: https://www.instagram.com/moonnegotiation/  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@moonnegotiation  LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joanmoon413/   Mini Online Course: https://course.moonnegotiation.com/fundamentals-of-negotiation-for-women-EXPRESS  Related Podcast Episodes The 3 N’s - Negotiation, Networking & No with Kathryn Valentine | 327 162 / Compensation Myths with Kelli Thompson How To Ask Better Questions with Elizabeth Weingarten | 347 Share the Love: If you found this episode insightful, please share it with a friend, tag us on social media, and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform! 🔗 Subscribe & Review:Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Women are told to be strong, but not hard. Confident, but not intimidating. Emotional, but for the love of God, don’t be too sensitive. Apparently, there’s some magical “just right” version of womanhood—but nobody seems to have the address. In this episode of This Is Woman’s Work, Nicole Kalil talks with Dr. Sasha Hamdani, board-certified psychiatrist, mental health educator, and author of Too Sensitive about why feeling deeply isn’t a flaw to fix. They unpack rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD), what happens when emotions hijack logic, how hormones impact sensitivity, and practical ways to regulate without stuffing, numbing, or apologizing for what’s being felt. In This Episode: Why sensitivity isn’t weakness—and can actually be a leadership strength What rejection sensitive dysphoria is and why rejection can hit so damn hard How to regulate emotions without suppressing them Why hormones matter more than women have been taught Why the goal isn’t thicker skin—it’s greater self-awareness and control Feeling deeply isn’t the same as being fragile. The goal isn’t to become less sensitive—it’s to understand it, work with it, and stop shrinking perfectly human parts of ourselves just because they make someone else uncomfortable. Thank you to our sponsors! Start your risk-free Greenlight trial today at Greenlight.com/TIWW. Don't wait to teach your kids real-world money skills! Connect with Sasha: Website: https://www.drhamdanimd.com/toosensitive  Book: https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250423764/toosensitive/  IG: https://www.instagram.com/thepsychdoctormd/  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thepsychdoctormd Related Podcast Episodes Stop Saying “I’m Fine”: Nervous System Regulation for High-Achieving Women with Michelle Grosser | 372 ADHD in Women, Nervous System Regulation & Getting Out of Fight-or-Flight with Jenna Free | 396  How To Listen When Your Parts Speak (IFS Therapy + Ancestral Wisdom) with Tamala Floyd | 376  Share the Love: If you found this episode insightful, please share it with a friend, tag us on social media, and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform! 🔗 Subscribe & Review:Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Working mothers are often told they can "have it all." But what many actually hear is that they're expected to do it all—build a successful career, raise thriving children, manage a household, nurture relationships, and somehow make it all look effortless. It's no wonder so many women feel exhausted, overwhelmed, and convinced they're somehow falling short. In this episode of This Is Woman's Work, Nicole Kalil welcomes Julia Sewell—performance coach, founder of the Self-Made Mom movement, entrepreneur, and author of The Self-Made Mom: Thriving at Home and at Work Without Compromise. Together, they challenge outdated expectations surrounding motherhood and success while exploring what it truly means to build a life that honors both ambition and well-being. In This Episode, Nicole and Julia Discuss: What it means to become a "Self-Made Mom." The concept of "noble self-abandonment" and how it keeps women depleted. How tying self-worth to productivity leaves women feeling like they're never enough. Julia's personal "broken red cup" story and the wake-up call that transformed her marriage and life. Why self-awareness often has to come before relationship repair. How partners can become allies in building healthier family systems. Why working moms should apply business strategies to their personal lives. Using values, systems, and planning to reduce stress and decision fatigue. Communicating effectively with family members and other key stakeholders. Delegating responsibilities based on strengths instead of outdated assumptions. How hiring help can reduce burnout and create more presence at home. Letting go of the myth of perfect work-life balance. This powerful conversation is about what it really takes to redefine success on your own terms as a working mom. Offering a new way forward for women who are ready to stop measuring themselves against impossible standards and start building lives that actually work for them.  Thank you to our sponsors! Start your risk-free Greenlight trial today at Greenlight.com/TIWW. Don't wait to teach your kids real-world money skills! Connect with Julia: Website: https://www.theselfmademom.com/  Book: Sign up to be notified when the book launches and receive exclusive updates at: https://www.theselfmademom.com/book Related Podcast Episodes: 144 / Jay & Nicole Kalil on Partnership, With Guest Host Lynn Casaletto The Good Mother Myth with Nancy Reddy | 274 FACTS About Raising Emotionally Intelligent Kids with Alyssa Blask Campbell M.Ed | 345 Share the Love: If you found this episode insightful, please share it with a friend, tag us on social media, and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform! 🔗 Subscribe & Review:Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Guilt has become so commonplace in women's lives that many of us barely notice it anymore. It shows up when we set boundaries, ask for help, prioritize our careers, take time for ourselves, or simply admit that we can't do everything. But what if much of that guilt isn't a reflection of our values at all? What if it's the result of impossible expectations we've been conditioned to carry? In this episode of This Is Woman's Work, Nicole Kalil sits down with Dr. Jennifer Reid, psychiatrist, women's behavioral health expert, educator, podcast host, and author of Guilt-Free: Reclaiming Your Life from Unreasonable Expectations. Together, they unpack how guilt functions as a form of social conditioning, why women are especially vulnerable to carrying unreasonable expectations, and how guilt often keeps us focused on fixing ourselves instead of questioning the systems that created those expectations in the first place. In This Episode, Nicole and Dr. Jennifer Discuss: Why guilt can function as a form of social control. How guilt often masks deeper emotions like sadness, disappointment, and fear. Who benefits when women remain trapped in cycles of guilt and over-functioning. Dr. Jennifer's "Guilt Equation" and how expectations create unnecessary guilt. The four unreasonable expectations—or "Four Furies"—that drive guilt for so many women. How comparison widens the gap between expectations and reality. Why women tend to focus on what they're not doing instead of recognizing what they are doing well. Why the myth of "having it all" continues to fuel guilt and burnout. Dr. Jennifer's SPEAK framework for recognizing and responding to guilt. How to identify recurring guilt triggers and challenge the thoughts behind them. Healthy ways to establish and maintain boundaries without unnecessary guilt. How to navigate relationships with people who resist or ignore boundaries. The difference between healthy guilt that encourages growth and unhealthy guilt that keeps women small. Why letting go of unreasonable guilt is an act of resistance and self-leadership. Ultimately, this conversation is a reminder that not all guilt deserves our attention, and learning to question where it comes from can be a powerful step toward greater freedom and self-trust.  Thank you to our sponsors! Don't wait to teach your kids real-world money skills! Start your risk-free Greenlight trial today at Greenlight.com/TIWW.  Connect with Jennifer: Website: https://www.jenniferreidmd.com/  Substack: https://amindofherown.substack.com/  Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mind-of-her-own/id1561999981  Guilt Free Groups: https://www.jenniferreidmd.com/guilt-free-groups  IG: https://www.instagram.com/jenreidmd/  Book: https://www.amazon.com/Guilt-Free-Reclaiming-Unreasonable-Expectations/dp/0593833465  Related Podcast Episodes: On Our Best Behavior: The Price Women Pay to Be “Good” with Elise Loehnen | 388 How To Defy Expectations with Dr. Sunita Sah | 271 How To Be Selfish with Naketa Ren Thigpen | 329 Share the Love: If you found this episode insightful, please share it with a friend, tag us on social media, and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform! 🔗 Subscribe & Review:Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you’re looking for some encouragement to chase your dreams, if it’s time for you to take that shot, or if you’re just looking for some energy to make it through your day, this is the episode for you! Judi Holler is a fire starter, an energy shifter, the ultimate hype woman, one of my favorite people to follow on IG, and she’s moving audiences worldwide to take massive action in their lives and businesses. For the last decade, Judi has built an enterprise that includes a robust keynote speaking business, a top podcast, and a best-selling book. Each year, Judi shifts energy in convention centers and ballrooms worldwide with audiences of 50 - 50,000 with her motivational, inspiring, and transformational keynote experiences.  Don’t waste another minute worrying and overthinking… it’s time to HOLLER AT YOUR DREAMS! Thank you to our sponsors! Don't wait to teach your kids real-world money skills! Start your risk-free Greenlight trial today at Greenlight.com/TIWW.  Go to https://CovePure.com/tiww to get $250 off. Thanks to CovePure for sponsoring this episode! Connect with Judi: Website: https://judiholler.com/  IG: https://www.instagram.com/judiholler/  Share the Love: If you found this episode insightful, please share it with a friend, tag us on social media, and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform! 🔗 Subscribe & Review:Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Women are often told that working harder is the key to getting ahead. Deliver exceptional results, say yes to every opportunity, support the team, and eventually someone will notice. But for many women, that strategy doesn't lead to promotions—it leads to becoming indispensable in the very role they're trying to outgrow. In this episode of This Is Woman's Work, Nicole Kalil sits down with Patty Azzarello—author, speaker, business advisor, and former Fortune 500 executive—to unpack the unwritten rules that shape career advancement. Drawing from her own journey from awkward introvert to CEO before the age of 40, Patty shares the lessons she learned about visibility, executive presence, influence, and why competence alone is rarely enough to build a successful career. In This Episode, Nicole and Patty Discuss: Why being excellent at your job can actually keep you stuck in it. The hidden career rules that no one teaches—but everyone is expected to know. The difference between being busy, being valuable, and being visible. Why women often take on "office housework" that doesn't advance their careers. How to identify the work that creates the greatest value for the business. Practical strategies for saying no without damaging relationships. Why executive presence is often poorly defined—and how to build it authentically. How bringing humanity to leadership creates greater influence than trying to be impressive. Why visibility matters just as much as performance when it comes to promotions. Simple ways to build relationships with senior leaders and decision-makers. The power of asking for help as a leadership skill. Why waiting until you feel ready often keeps you from your biggest opportunities. How healthy conflict strengthens leadership and decision-making. The career cost of constantly taking care of everyone else. This conversation is a wake-up call for anyone who has been told that hard work alone is enough. Patty offers a refreshing, practical perspective on what actually drives career growth—and how to start making those shifts today.  Thank you to our sponsors! Don't wait to teach your kids real-world money skills! Start your risk-free Greenlight trial today at Greenlight.com/TIWW.  Go to https://CovePure.com/tiww to get $250 off. Thanks to CovePure for sponsoring this episode! Connect with Patty: Website: https://pattyazzarello.com/  LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/pattyazzarello   IG: https://www.instagram.com/pazzarello777/  Related Podcast Episodes: 162 / Compensation Myths with Kelli Thompson Leadership Unblocked (The Hidden Beliefs Sabotaging Your Ability To Lead) with Muriel M. Wilkins | 367 Why Work Feels Broken (And How Attunement Can Fix It) with Nidhi Tewari | 406 Share the Love: If you found this episode insightful, please share it with a friend, tag us on social media, and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform! 🔗 Subscribe & Review:Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We explore a common paradox in this episode (and I’ll be up front that this is one I’ve struggled with for most of my career) – and that is, being a likeable badass. How can we be both liked as a person and respected for our success? How do we get the recognition, negotiate for our value, and create opportunities without our peers or colleagues seeing us as cold, calculating or selfish? How do we create and leverage power and status as women, if we feel icky about the words power and status? I don’t have the answers, friend, but I know someone who does. Alison Fragale is the author of Likeable Badass and the Mary Farley Ames Lee Distinguished Scholar of Organizational Behavior at the Kenan-Flagler Business School. Her work has been published in the most prestigious academic journals in her field, and is featured in prominent media outlets such as The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, Financial Times, Boston Globe, and many more. A sought-after keynote speaker and trusted advisor, Alison was introduced to me by Adam Grant, and is here today to help us understand more about power, status, and likeability – and how those things impact our ability to get more of what we want. A loving reminder that whether or not you’re a working professional, we’re ALL negotiating for the things we want, for what matters most to us. And whether you’re at work or in your personal relationships, your status matters. It’s time for us to set aside those limiting mindsets because they aren’t serving us or our people. You can be and become a likable badass. Thank you to our sponsors! Don't wait to teach your kids real-world money skills! Start your risk-free Greenlight trial today at Greenlight.com/TIWW.  Go to https://CovePure.com/tiww to get $250 off. Thanks to CovePure for sponsoring this episode! Connect with Alison: Website: https://alisonfragale.com/  Subscribe to Alison’s Substack: https://alisonfragale.substack.com Book: https://www.amazon.com/Likeable-Badass-Women-Success-Deserve/dp/0385549148  Group Coaching Program: https://alisonfragale.com/likeable-badass-accelerator/ An 8-week group coaching program designed to help ambitious women build influence, increase visibility, and earn the recognition they deserve. Enter kalil10 at checkout for your discounted rate. Share the Love: If you found this episode insightful, please share it with a friend, tag us on social media, and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform! 🔗 Subscribe & Review:Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices