Don’t Waste Your Hardest Lessons: Julia Lashay’s 5 Principles of Unshakable Resilience

Content Warning: This episode includes discussion of the loss of a child and experiences of grief. It may be distressing for some listeners. Please listen with care and take the space you need. Resilience isn’t something you’re born with. It’s something you build—often in the moments you’d never choose. In this episode, Jay sits down with Julia Lashay to explore how adversity shapes leadership. From losing everything financially during the Great Recession to the unimaginable loss of her son, Julia shares how she found a way forward when life felt impossible. Instead of pushing past pain, she learned to work through it—starting small, giving herself grace, and using simple tools like the 411 to regain momentum. Along the way, she discovered that purpose isn’t fixed. It evolves. And when you reconnect with it, it becomes the fuel that carries you through even the hardest seasons. They also unpack the role of failure, why feedback accelerates growth, and how the people around you can either lift you higher or hold you back. If you’ve ever felt stuck, overwhelmed, or unsure how to move forward, this conversation offers a path—one step at a time.  Challenge of the Week: Start defining your personal mission statement. If that feels overwhelming, begin with your core values. Clarity around what matters most will help guide everything else. *** To learn more, and for the complete show notes, visit: the1thing.com/pods. We talk about: [00:00] Julia Lashay's Introduction [03:14] Losing Everything and Navigating Personal Tragedy   [10:16] The First Steps to Rebuilding Life [15:38] Embracing Learning Lessons [22:46] Surrounding Yourself with the Right People [29:57] The ONE Thing Weekly Challenge  Links & Tools from This Episode: The ONE Thing Operating System  Julia Lashay (speaker, coaching, resources) Free Resources Want to be a guest or share feedback? Email [email protected]   Produced by NOVA

When the world feels heavy, many of us fall into the same cycle: doom scrolling, numbing out, or waiting for things to improve In this episode, Jay shares a powerful perspective shift inspired by a lesson from Mr. Rogers: instead of just looking for the helpers, as Mr. Rogers suggests - become one. Rather than waiting for change, we must act. Jay breaks down the science behind action and emotions, including the surprising research of Brené Brown, and outlines his 11 "infinite resources" - 11 ways we can influence change in our life, our relationships, and our world - all without feeling depleted afterwards. The antidote is simple: start giving the very thing you want more of. Challenge of the Week: Identify the emotion or experience that feels most scarce in your life right now - gratitude, encouragement, connection, or something else. Then choose one person and give it to them this week. One small act can create a ripple you may never fully see. *** To learn more, and for the complete show notes, visit: the1thing.com/pods. We talk about: [00:00] “Maybe you've heard the story about Mr. Rogers…” Mr. Rodgers Helpers and the Idea Behind the Infinite Resources [09:02] “So number one, love is an infinite resource…” Infinite Resource #1: Love [09:38] “Number one, kindness, so you can offer…” Infinite Resource #2: Kindness [10:15] “ Two creativity. I've written about this, I've talked..” Infinite Resource #3: Creativity [10:52] “Gratitude. Right? Every single day…” Infinite Resource #4: Gratitude [11:42] “Connection, authentic connection feels scarce…” Infinite Resource #5: Connection [12:02] “Curiosity. This is a big one…” Infinite Resource #6: Curiosity [12:41] “Hope when we encourage other people…” Infinite Resource #7: Hope [12:54] “Inspiration. When you inspire others…” Infinite Resource #8: Inspiration [12:58] “Positivity. A positive outlook…” Infinite Resource #9: Positivity [13:01] “Encouragement, when we encourage others…” Infinite Resource #10: Encouragement [13:09] “And finally… forgiveness…” Infinite Resource #11: Forgiveness [13:39] “So there's all of these resources around us that we can tap into..” How To Give Infinite Resources Away [22:53] “So Jay's very unofficial inventory of our infinite resources…” the ONE Thing Challenge Links & Tools from This Episode: The ONE Thing Operating System Atlas of the Heart by Brené Brown Jay Shetty Amy Bloom Subsrcibe to Jay Papason’s Newsletter Free Resources Want to be a guest or share feedback? Email [email protected]   Produced by NOVA

Jay sits down with research scientist-turned-entrepreneur David Priemer to do a deep dive into the proven science and psychology of sales. In this conversation, David shares how curiosity - not charisma - became his competitive advantage, and the foundation of his newest business, Cerebral Selling. He breaks down the psychology behind buying decisions and explains why the best sales conversations don’t start with your product. They start with the problem. You’ll hear how David used The ONE Thing to host high-impact executive dinners at Salesforce, turning simple focus questions into powerful masterminds that drove real results. He also unpacks his “PITCH” framework - the storytelling structure behind infomercials - and shows how it applies to premium products, leadership, and everyday conversations. Whether you carry a sales title or not, you are in the business of influence. This episode will help you approach it with more empathy, clarity, and intention. Challenge of the Week: Before your next important conversation, pause and ask yourself: What does this person truly value? Shape your message around that—and see what changes. *** To learn more, and for the complete show notes, visit: the1thing.com/pods. We talk about: [00:00]  From Research Scientist to Sales Authority [08:14] Turning Curiosity Into Cerebral Selling [09:30] Why The ONE Thing Became Required Reading for Sales Teams [12:40]  How Executive Dinners Became High-ROI Masterminds [13:57] Using the Focusing Question to Unlock Peer Coaching [21:13] The Psychology of Selling the Problem First [23:19]  Breaking Down the PITCH Infomercial Formula [31:52] Applying the PITCH Formula to Premium Enterprise Sales [37:56]  The Power of Selling What People Truly Value Links & Tools from This Episode: To Sell Is Human by Daniel Pink Yes! 50 Scientifically Proven Ways to Be Persuasive Check out David’s Business Cerebral Selling Sell the Way You Buy by David Priemer David Priemer’s TED Talk: “Why You’re Bad at Buying Stuff” Free Resources Want to be a guest or share feedback? Email [email protected]   Produced by NOVA

If you feel like you have 30 browser tabs open in your brain, you’re not alone. Most business owners don’t have a capacity problem—they have a clarity problem. In this episode, Jay Papasan unpacks the science behind overwhelm, including the Zeigarnik effect and additive bias, and explains why unfinished tasks drain your mental bandwidth. When you try to multitask your way out, you only slow everything down and create more open loops. The solution isn’t better time management. It's a better selection. Jay walks you through how to download all your open loops, apply extreme Pareto thinking, and identify the first domino that deserves your full focus. You’ll learn why extraordinary success is sequential, not simultaneous, and how redefining what “finished” means can free up mental space and build momentum. If you’re tired of chasing inbox zero and still feeling behind, this episode gives you permission to subtract, prioritize, and focus on what truly matters. Challenge of the Week: Download every open loop in your life—personal and professional. Identify your true 20 percent. Choose your ONE Thing for the week, give it extra time, and let the rest wait. *** To learn more, and for the complete show notes, visit: the1thing.com/pods. We talk about: [00:00] Reframing the Overwhelm: From Myth to Clarity and Boundaries [4:45] The Science Behind Open Loops: Zeigarnik Effect, Additive Bias, and Decision Drift  [9:59] The ONE Thing’s Principle and the Alphabet vs Alternating Test [17:09] Real World Stories: In-N-Out to Daya and Courtney [23:37] Practical Steps: Download, Extreme Pareto and Redefine “Finished”. [30:20] The ONE Thing Weekly Challenge  Links & Tools from This Episode: The ONE Thing Operating System Bluma Zeigarnik (Zeigarnik Effect) Leidy Klotz (Additive Bias Research) Pareto Principle (80/20 Rule) Free Resources Want to be a guest or share feedback? Email [email protected]   Produced by NOVA

Most high performers think they have a productivity problem. They don’t. They have a purpose problem. In this episode, Jay Papasan pulls back the curtain on what The ONE Thing has always been about. Yes, it lives in the productivity section of bookstores. Yes, it teaches focus. But at its core, it’s a purpose book. Using the iceberg metaphor from the original book, Jay walks through the real order of success: purpose drives priority, and priority drives productivity. When you start at the surface with hacks and tools, you get busyness. When you start beneath the surface with clarity about why you’re working in the first place, everything changes. He shares stories from Stu McLaren and Pat Flynn, unpacks the rider-and-elephant concept from The Happiness Hypothesis, and challenges you to define your “season” of life. What matters most right now? What role can you not afford to fail? If you’ve been feeling busy but unfulfilled, this conversation will help you realign your work with what truly matters. Challenge of the Week: Block 30 minutes this week and ask yourself one simple question: Why am I working so hard? Journal your answer. Don’t edit it. Just get honest. Clarity begins there. *** To learn more, and for the complete show notes, visit: the1thing.com/pods. We talk about: [00:00] Productivity vs. Purpose [01:09] The Busyness Trap [04:30] The Iceberg [13:59] Stu McLaren and the Courage to Pivot Toward Purpose [17:09]  Building a Successful Business Can’t Be The Only Goal [18:18] Purpose Is Always in Charge [24:31] The Simple Challenge: Start With Purpose Links & Tools from This Episode: The ONE Thing Operating System The ONE Thing (book) Stu McLaren Website Michael Hyatt Website Pat Flynn Will It Fly? by Pat Flynn The Happiness Hypothesis by Jonathan Haidt Free Resources Want to be a guest or share feedback? Email [email protected]   Produced by NOVA

At 19 years old, Amy Purdy went to work feeling a little run down. Within 24 hours, she was fighting for her life in the hospital. She beat the odds, and survived a life-threatening infection - but she would ultimately lose both legs below the knee as a result. What followed wasn’t a comeback story built on motivation posters. It was a masterclass in agency. In this conversation, Amy walks Jay through the moment she asked a life-altering question from her hospital bed: If your life were a book, how would you want the story to go? That question became her anchor. From there, she visualized a future that didn’t yet exist and worked backward, one problem at a time. Amy shares how she became a pioneer in adaptive snowboarding, literally building the prosthetics she needed to ride again. Along the way, she discovered that challenges don’t block the path. They create it. The same tools that helped her survive her darkest days became the tools that carried her to Paralympic medals, entrepreneurship, and the stage. This episode is about clarity, purpose, obsession in the right direction, and learning to “bounce forward” when life removes the familiar path. Challenge of the Week: Set aside quiet time to visualize your best self. Don’t negotiate with reality yet. See it. Feel it. Then ask, what would have to be true for this to happen? Start there. *** To learn more, and for the complete show notes, visit: the1thing.com/pods. We talk about: [00:00] This Is a Story About Agency, Not Limitation [02:30] They Gave Me a 2% Survival Chance. She Beat the Odds. [11:45] The Idea That Led to Agency [15:04] Find The Power to Solving Your Own Problems [17:16] Turning Failure Into a Design Problem [21:21] Amy’s First Successful Run [24:45] Everyone Feels incomplete [28:03] The Power of Visualization [33:26] Turning Pain into Purpose [40:16] From Success to Survival [44:06] Visualizing Your Best Self Links & Tools from This Episode: Pre-order Bounce Forward by Amy Purdy Read On My Own Two Feet by Amy Purdy Adaptive Action Sports (organization founded by Amy Purdy) Follow Amy Purdy on Instagram: @amypurdygurl Free Resources Want to be a guest or share feedback? Email [email protected]   Produced by NOVA

Are you ghosting your goals? By February, most people have already given up on the goals they set in January. But what if the reason you keep ignoring your goals isn’t a lack of discipline, but a lack of relationship? In this episode, Jay Papasan invites you to stop “proposing” to your goals every January and start dating them regularly instead. Jay breaks down why most goals fade by February and how to replace goal drift with steady progress. He walks through the full framework, from writing a Someday Letter and working backward into five-year and one-year milestones, to using the 411 to translate goals into weekly, time-blockable actions. You’ll also learn why a 30-minute weekly “date” with your goals and a five-minute daily check-in before your phone can radically change your focus, reduce the busyness trap, and prevent Groundhog Year from repeating itself. This episode is a practical reset for anyone who feels busy but stuck. The answer isn’t setting better goals. It’s staying in touch with the ones you already have. Challenge of the Week: Schedule a 30-minute appointment with yourself. Review your goals and identify the one thing you can do next week to get back on track. Think big, aim small. *** To learn more, and for the complete show notes, visit: the1thing.com/pods. We talk about: Why most people ghost their goals by February How to use the Someday Letter to clarify long-term direction Turning goals into weekly actions with the 411 Links & Tools from This Episode: The 411 and Someday Letter Exercises are Available on Our Free Resources Want to be a guest or share feedback? Email [email protected]   Produced by NOVA

Most people don’t plan for a pivot that changes everything. For Alex Hopes, it started with a moment that stopped his life cold and rerouted it completely. What followed was a decade-long journey of saying yes to what was in front of him, even when it didn’t match the original plan. In this episode, Jay Papasan talks with Alex, founder of Zilker Bark, about how a simple dog photography project grew into massive dog events attracting thousands of people in the Austin area. They unpack the power of narrowing your focus, why constraints can sharpen creativity, and how community-driven experiences create built-in word of mouth. Alex also shares the behind-the-scenes lessons of rapid growth, from learning on the fly to finding mentors who help you avoid costly mistakes. At its core, this conversation is about trusting the pivot, choosing depth over breadth, and letting your ONE Thing reveal itself over time. Challenge of the Week: Take a step back and look at the unexpected changes in your life or business. Identify one alternative path you may have overlooked and ask what could happen if you leaned into it instead of resisting it. We talk about: [00:00] Welcome and Introduction to Alex Hope  [01:05] Your Side Project Gains Momentum… Now What? [03:25] The Power of Word-of-Mouth [05:07] Do Constraints Actually Improve Creativity? [07:48] One-To-Many: The Transition to Events [12:32] How Do Community-Driven Events Create Exponential Growth? [17:20] Managing Explosive Growth [24:40] How Do You Move Forward When Life Forces a Hard Pivot? *** To learn more, and for the complete show notes, visit: the1thing.com/pods. We talk about: How focusing on a niche can accelerate growth Turning community into your best marketing engine Finding opportunity inside unexpected life pivots Links & Tools from This Episode: Follow Alex Hopes on Instagram   Visit Zilker Bark’s Website Follow Zilker Bark on Instagram Free Resources Want to be a guest or share feedback? Email [email protected]   Produced by NOVA

Elite athletes don’t just train harder. They recover better. Between points, plays, and games, they use small, intentional rituals to reset their bodies and minds so they can perform again at a high level. In this episode, Jay Papasan makes the case that business owners and leaders need the same approach. Inspired by a classic Harvard Business Review article, Jay breaks down the difference between habits, systems, routines, and rituals—and why rituals stand apart. Habits and systems automate outcomes. Rituals create meaning. That meaning helps us shift emotional states, regain focus, and sustain energy over the long haul. Jay walks through four key areas where rituals matter most: physical recovery, emotional regulation, mental clarity, and connection to purpose and values. From walking meetings and white space to end-of-day transitions and goal-setting retreats, these practices help prevent burnout while improving results. The takeaway is simple: if you want rituals of performance, you need rituals of recovery. The goal isn’t just a great year—it’s a great career.  Shoutout to Anne-Laure LeCunff, author of Tiny Experiments and our guest in episode #497, whose writing on habits, routines, and rituals added depth and scientific grounding to this episode, even though it wasn’t called out during the recording.  Listen to that episode of the podcast here. Also, read Anne-Laure LeCunff’s fantastic article, Why Your Brain Needs Everyday Rituals. Challenge of the Week: Design one new ritual that adds recovery or meaning to your day. Put it on your calendar and protect it. We talk about: [00:00] What Elite Athletes Teach Us About High Performance [03:45] Habits vs. Routines vs. Rituals [12:35]  The Importance of Recovery in Any Profession [14:02] A Ritual for Regulation: Emotional Clarity & Composure [16:10]  A Ritual of Transition: From Work to Home [20:02] How Can YOU Build Rituals Into Your Life? [22:40] Rituals to Realign with Your Core Values [28:27] What One Ritual Could You Add to Improve Everything Else You Do? *** To learn more, and for the complete show notes, visit: the1thing.com/pods. We talk about: Why elite performers recover faster than everyone else The difference between habits, routines, systems, and rituals How recovery rituals actually increase performance Links & Tools from This Episode: The Making of a Corporate Athlete (Harvard Business Review) The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk Free Resources Want to be a guest or share feedback? Email [email protected] or send us an audio note at Speakpipe.com/the1thing. Listen: Permission to Pause: Reclaim Your Identity Outside of Work with Jen Davis  Produced by NOVA

Public speaking consistently ranks as one of our biggest fears, but what if the real issue isn’t technique at all? In this episode, Jay sits down with Tristan de Montebello, co-founder of Ultraspeaking, to explore why confidence breaks down when we communicate and how to rebuild it from the inside out. Tristan shares his rapid journey from beginner to finalist in the World Championship of Public Speaking and the lessons that reshaped how he thinks about mastery, coaching, and performance. Together, they unpack the idea of “leaking” insecurity, why audiences feel it instantly, and how small moments like pausing, blanking, or making mistakes can actually build trust when handled with confidence. The conversation moves beyond stages and spotlights into everyday moments: meetings, conversations, questions left unasked, and opportunities we quietly avoid. This episode is about learning to stay present, trusting what’s already inside you, and stepping into discomfort long enough to let your best thinking show up. Challenge of the Week: Volunteer for something without fully preparing. Raise your hand, ask the question, or take the turn you’d normally avoid and notice what shows up when you stay confident anyway. We talk about: [00:00] Intro: What is Ultraspeaking? [02:21] What People Get Wrong About Public Speaking [04:33] Why Do “Quick Fixes” Not Help in Speaking? [05:58] Speaking Is About One Thing: Psychology [08:28] Are You Leaking Your Insecurity? The Impact of Stumbling in a Speech [10:28] Small Signals of Confidence - How to Stop Leaking [18:47] Tristan’s Journey at The World Championship of Public Speaking [24:16] The Truth about Great Public Speakers [36:16] Your Weekly Challenge *** To learn more, and for the complete show notes, visit: the1thing.com/pods. We talk about: Why confidence leaks before technique ever matters The role of coaching and deliberate discomfort in mastery How staying present changes the way people receive your message Links & Tools from This Episode: Ultraspeaking Website  World Championships of Public Speaking The Inner Game of Tennis by W. Timothy Gallwey Free Resources Want to be a guest or share feedback? Email [email protected] or send us an audio note at Speakpipe.com/the1thing. Produced by NOVA