732 The Cost of People-Pleasing, Why We Do It + How to Stop

Do you say yes when you want to say no? Do you do more emotional labor in nearly all of your relationships? Are you the one everyone counts on, while no one is there for you? (Maybe you don’t even allow people to be there for you?) If any of this sounds familiar, this episode is for you.  I had many requests to do another episode on people-pleasing, so let’s cover how people-pleasing and self-abandonment are survival mechanisms, the cost of these behaviors to us and our relationships, and how we can slowly shift into healthier ways of relating. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/732

I'm so excited to have a new pal, Alana Carvalho, a licensed mental health counselor, on the show to talk about two topics we're both passionate about: codependency and perfectionism! We talk about why these two things go together, our experiences of being in recovery from both, what inspired Alana to create The Codependent Perfectionist brand, how to ease up on perfectionism and codependent behaviors, and so much more.  I hope you enjoy our conversation as much as I did! Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/731

Do you notice micro changes in people’s facial expressions and ask yourself, “What did I do wrong?” Are you able to sit with someone in pain without trying to fix them? Are you so emotionally attuned to everything and everyone that you feel exhausted? If any of this sounds familiar, you’re not broken; you just lack the skills (boundaries!) needed to embrace your superpower (being an empath). You can care, love, and feel deeply without losing yourself in someone’s pain, which is what I’m talking about in this episode. I hope it helps you hit pause on taking on people’s emotions and gives you the tools you need to manage your energy. Read the show notes from today's episode at terricole.com/730

I am thrilled to have Shannon Watts, author and founder of Moms Demand Action, on the show to talk about her new book, Fired Up: How to Turn Your Spark Into a Flame and Come Alive at Any Age. I was definitely fired up and inspired by what Shannon had to share, and I think you will be, too. If you've been going through life on autopilot (as many high-functioning codependents do), feel like something is missing, or like you've been playing it small and it's time to stop and do something different, this conversation is for you. Shannon shares practical tips and strategies for reimagining your life and while we talk about perimenopause and menopause, these tips can apply to anyone in any season of life! Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/729

Every close relationship hits turbulence at some point. Conflict is inevitable.  That’s why the real magic of secure, emotionally mature relationships isn’t about avoiding conflict. It’s about having the tools to come back together and repair. Repair requires us to be proactive because the work needs to begin long before it is actually needed. You can’t build a bridge in the middle of a storm (aka, a conflict). Having the ability to repair after disconnection or disagreements is everything. In this episode, I’m teaching you how to create a repair kit so you can prepare to handle conflict much more productively. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/726

Sometimes, it helps to laugh at life’s problems– Even the real ones. If you could use some help in finding humor in today’s current events, Angie is your gal! Today I’m sharing a relaxed chat with Angie “Pumps” Sullivan, co-author of Life is a Lazy Susan of Shit Sandwiches and co-host of the podcast I’ve Had It. Somehow, the conversation feels light even as we delve into the reality of mourning dreams and expectations, being a role model for your children, and speaking up to yourself without being a “Karen.” I hope you enjoy today’s episode with Angie as much as I enjoyed chatting with her! Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/727

I am so excited to have Dr. Sara Reardon, aka The Vag Whisperer, on the show today to give us the basics when it comes to pelvic floor health. Why? Because the condition of our pelvic floor impacts so many different systems of our body and it changes throughout our life, especially in perimenopause and menopause. During our conversation, Sara breaks everything down in an accessible way and shares easy tips you can use to begin working on your pelvic floor. If you want more info, be sure to grab her book, Floored: A Woman's Guide to Pelvic Floor Health at Every Age and Stage! Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/725

Did you know that 1 in 4 children in the US grows up without a father? Or that 80% of single-parent homes are led by mothers? These statistics may not come as a surprise, but what we don’t talk about are the millions of other kids who may have dads who are physically present but emotionally absent. Dads who are abusive, addicted, sporadic, neglectful, or narcissistic.  As Father’s Day approaches, I wanted to explore how father wounds can impact our relationships, self-worth, and overall success. I’ll share my own experiences, debunk some father wound myths, and offer you ideas on how to heal and celebrate Father’s Day differently. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/725

Today I’m so excited to welcome Rha Goddess to The Terri Cole Show! She shares what she’s learned on her journey, from her origin story rooted in civil rights and hip hop to the personal awakening that led her to redefine ambition and success for herself. Plus, why now was the time to write her book Intentional Ambition and her own personal boundary struggles. Listen for everything you need to do life with more joy, freedom, fulfillment, and courage. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/724

I am so thrilled to have my friends and hosts of the popular Almost 30 podcast, Krista Williams and Lindsey Simcik, on the show to talk about their new book, Almost 30: A Definitive Guide to a Life You Love for the Next Decade and Beyond.  If you're going through any sort of transition, I think you'll love it, because the big theme of our conversation is how to weather the storm of transitions. Lindsey and Krista offer the perfect blend of wisdom and curiosity in sharing their stories about questioning societal expectations, walking their own path, and befriending the body. I hope you enjoy this girlfriend jam as much as I did! Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/723