452. How to get better at being alone

It’s a known fact that time moves faster as we get older, but what does this really mean, and can we slow it down? In this episode, we’re going to try to make sense of why flies as we enter our 20s - from memory, to novelty, eye movements and the effects of COVID.  Watch on Netflix: HERE We explore: Different types of time: measured vs. perceived What makes time feel fast and slow? The effect of the pandemic The relationship between time and age How social media is making time go faster The 4 ways we can feel like we have more time  Happy listening!  Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s For business: [email protected]  The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Oedipus complex is one of Freud’s most renowned and shocking ideas. In this episode, we dive into the origins of the theory and whether anything really remains once its gendered assumptions and controversial sexual claims are stripped away. We explore:- How the Greek tragedy of Oedipus inspired Freud’s theory- What Freud meant by unconscious childhood desire and parental rivalry- The importance of the phallic stage- How Freud believed it was resolved - and what fixation was thought to mean for adulthood- His problematic gendered ideas- The scientific and ethical problems surrounding the theory- How modern psychoanalysis has reinterpreted Oedipal ideas Watch on Netflix: HERE Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s For business: [email protected]  Our favourite sources: https://lacanianworksexchange.net/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/19260101-The-Flight-from-Womanhood-The-Masculinity-Complex-in-Women-as-Viewed-by-Men-and-by-Women-Karen-Horney-IJP-7-p324-339.pdf   https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1002/j.2167-4086.2004.tb00151.x   https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2F0033-3204.32.4.535   https://www.routledge.com/The-Oedipus-Complex-A-Contemporary-Introduction/Rohleder/p/book/9781032495651   The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

There are a surprising number of myths and misconceptions about the brain, particularly with regards to its development in our 20s. In this episode, we unpack a number of surprising facts and studies about the brain so that we can in turn better understand how to make the most of our 20s.  Watch on Netflix: HERE We unpack: • The science of neuroplasticity and how our brain can rewire itself • Why, on a cognitive level, a broken heart may not be so different from a broken arm• How much of our brains we really use (hint - it’s more than 10%!)• The gut-brain axis and why poor gut health can cause depression - not the other way around• Why our brain needs to forget to function properly• The real age our brain stops developing Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s For business: [email protected]  The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The fear of missing out or not seizing every moment are some of the biggest worries we experience in our 20s. However, spending time alone isn’t the same as being lonely or doing nothing - in fact, it’s quite the opposite. In this episode, we explore why we resist being alone - but why learning to do so is psychologically positive, and can even be a superpower. Watch on Netflix: HERE • Why we culturally and socially villainise solitude• How constantly being online interrupts our ability to be truly alone • The creative and emotional benefits of spending time alone• Why our capacity to be alone is a reflection of our overall maturity • How we can embrace the power of solitude Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s For business: [email protected]  Our favourite sources:  https://spsp.org/news-center/character-context-blog/social-costs-seeking-solitude  https://www.ted.com/talks/susan_cain_the_power_of_introverts?language=en  https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2025/feb/02/quiet-please-the-remarkable-power-of-silence-for-our-bodies-and-our-minds  The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Dating can bring out the psychologist in us. One delayed reply, one vague comment, and we try to decode someone’s attachment style, childhood wounds, and capacity for commitment. But while psychological language can help us make sense of relationships, it can also become a way to avoid the much harder truth - sometimes we simply don’t know yet. In this episode we look at why overanalysing feels so reassuring, especially when we have been hurt before, and how the search for hidden meaning can distract us from direct communication, being present, and the person actually in front of us. Watch on Netflix: HERE We explore:• The difference between noticing patterns and control rumination• Why dating uncertainty makes labels feel so appealing• Why overanalysing often comes from fear rather than insight• Why this can stop us from being vulnerable ourselves• Why behaviour matters more than the story behind it• How to slow the spiral and regain clarity, communication, and self-trust Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s For business: [email protected]  Our favourite sources:https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_to_stop_overthinking_your_relationship https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S2352250X16300306?via%3Dihub https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2F0022-3514.75.2.545 https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1996-01742-003  The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode, we explore the psychology of the quarter life reinvention: the period that can come after the confusion, uncertainty and identity crisis of our early and mid-20s, when things finally begin to fall into place. We look at how the quarter life crisis can transform us, the stages we move through, and why sometimes everything has to fall apart before we can rebuild a life that feels more like our own. We explore:• The difference between a quarter life crisis and a quarter life reinvention• The ‘locked in’ and ‘locked out’ forms of the quarter life crisis• The four stages of the crisis• The signs that you’re entering your reinvention era• How experimentation, risk taking and new experiences help us rebuild• The role of narrative psychology and rewriting the story you tell about your life• Why learning to tolerate uncertainty may be the key to finally moving forward Watch on Netflix: HERE Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s For business: [email protected]  The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What is the shadow self? And how do we meet ours? In today's episode we explore what it means to get curious about the shadow parts of ourselves. We take a grounded look at shadow work - where the idea came from, the layers of our psyche, and how the repressed parts of ourselves show up.  We explore:•        What Jung meant by the shadow and the persona•        How the dark or disowned parts of ourselves can develop•        Why anger, neediness, ambition, or confidence can feel uncomfortable to acknowledge•        The role of projection, triggers and repeated patterns•        How to approach shadow work cautiously and with curiosity Watch on Netflix: HERE Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s For business: [email protected]  Our favourite sources: The book I spoke about: HERE The YouTube video: HERE  The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We're talking about reputation. On a fundamental level, our reputations are a signal of our qualities that make us worth associating with, and we tend to spend a large amount of time ruminating and even obsessing over what others think of us. In this episode, we explore why we need reputations as social creatures, understand why we can misinterpret others’ reputations, and think about what we can do to repair a bad reputation.  We unpack: • Where our reputations come from• Why two people can view the same person so differently • The halo effect and how appearance biases our perception of others• How our reputations can change over time • Why we shouldn’t always believe what others say• How we can repair a bad reputation Watch on Netflix: HERE Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s For business: [email protected]  Our favourite sources:  https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8487743/ https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/ecology-of-minds/202509/what-makes-a-good-reputation https://www.researchgate.net/publication/349443219_The_halo_effect The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I was recently diagnosed with PMOS, and with that came a lot of questions: why is my body like this, what caused it, will I be able to have kids, how can I fix it? There's a lot of information (and misinformation) online, so today I decided to sit down with an expert to ask all my burning questions on this condition.  Watch on Netflix: HERE Dr Hazel Wallace is a medical doctor, registered associate nutritionist, women's health expert, author and founder of the platform, The Food Medic. In this episode, we discuss:  The origins of PMOS/PCOS  Why we had to change the PCOS name  What causes PMOS and whether it's genetic  How PMOS intersects with psychology and mental health The 5 things you should and shouldn't do if you have PMOS  What actually helps  How to deal with medical dismissal and misinformation Happy listening!  Dr Hazel's book HERE Follow Dr Hazel HERE  Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s For business: [email protected]  The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The term “Stockholm Syndrome” is used to explain why someone might defend, protect, or feel attached to a person who has harmed them - but why does this happen? In this bonus episode, we explore where the term came from, some famous cases, and how the mind functions to keep us safe. We explore:•        The 1973 bank robbery•        Famous cases linked to Stockholm syndrome•        The role of appeasement•        How it relates to trauma bonding•        Why dependence breeds attachment•        How those experiencing Stockholm syndrome are supported Watch on Netflix: HERE Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s For business: [email protected]  Our favourite sources:https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1600-0447.2007.01112.x https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/20008066.2022.2161038 https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1080/00048670701261178  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.