Cognitive dissonance

There are two types of control fallacies we may be experiencing that is influencing our perception & internal story: (1) We view ourselves as the helpless victim of our circumstances, where we have no control over anything and everything is happening *to* us. (2) We view and hold ourselves as responsible for everyone else's pain and happiness.  In both cases, we have an irrational perception on our control over the situations in our lives (either too little or that we control everyone and everything). 

Overgeneralisation occurs when we use information from one single isolated event and assume that things will always be that way. It can be detrimental especially when we hold onto one negative experience in the past, and expecting things to always be that same way. We are also subjected to confirmation bias (where we look out for info that confirms our belief) so that the negative expectation becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.  Break the cycle of negative thinking by becoming aware of the 'mental goggles' that you are wearing.

This is a the first episode of the "mental goggles" series, where we dive into each type of filters that influence the way we perceive the world around us.  Personalisation is the mental filter where we take on irrelevant events or comments and perceive that it is directed towards us (that we are to blame, that we have done something wrong). For example, a friend could say "I'm bored" and you may perceive it as 'they are bored because I am boring and have nothing to offer.' Personalisation can impact our perception, and ultimately our mental wellbeing. Become aware of your mental goggles in order to see that things are not necessarily as negative as you are perceiving it.

Confirmation bias As humans, we are all subjected to psychological/cognitive biases. Confirmation bias is one of the biases that refers the tendency for us to seek out and interpret information that *confirms* our prior beliefs, while rejecting or avoiding information that goes against our core beliefs.  This is relevant to our mental wellbeing because if you hold any negative prior beliefs e.g. "I am ugly" or "everyone hates me", you will most likely find confirming evidence for that beliefs in your environment.  So it is crucial to be aware of what core beliefs you hold, as you will most likely find evidence to support that belief. With light and love, Natalie

Cognitive dissonance refers to the mental discomfort that we experience when our actions and behaviour do not align with the beliefs that we hold about ourselves.  Ask yourself: "Am I behaving differently than the way I see myself/would like to see myself?" Awareness of your own cognitive dissonance may shed light on your own mental discomfort & why you are feeling bad.

Do you struggle with thoughts like... "I am not good enough" "I am unlovable" "everyone hates me"  "the world is a dangerous place- I need to protect myself"  Where did these believes stem from? ..... Core beliefs are the beliefs we hold true about ourselves, about others and the world around us. They are formed in our early childhood from direct observations and life events. Core beliefs influence our perception of the world around us, and they are underlying our conscious thoughts, feelings and behaviour.  Reflect on your own core beliefs and ask yourself: "Am I holding onto any negative core beliefs that no longer serve me?"

"Victimhood mindset" When we experience mental unwellbeing, we often view ourselves as the victim of our circumstances. We see ourselves as powerless, that there is nothing we can do about our situation, and that we have no choice in what we say or how we respond to others. The “victim drama triangle” (Karpman, 1968) This psychological and social model of human interaction (used in transactional analysis and psychotherapy) states that when we see ourselves as the helpless victim of our situation, there are usually 3 roles involved: 1. The victim - "poor me" (hopeless, powerless) 2. The persecutor - "this is your fault" (blaming, critical, superior) 3. The rescuer - "poor you, let me help you" (enabler, keeps victim dependent) Here is the catch: no one ever views themselves as the perpetrator. In our own eyes, we are either the victim or the rescuer.  So the next time you view that someone is being unfair to you, take a step back and recognize that THEY are also viewing themselves as victim of this situation as well.

"Neurons that fire together, wire together" - Donald Hebb The brain is 'plastic,' meaning that it is continuously changing, reshaping and adapting its neural pathways in response to new situations and events. We can use this concept to feel better by consciously choosing a more positive thought when we are aware that we are thinking negatively. Even if it doesn't feel right or if we don't believe what we're thinking, we are contributing to creating a new and more positive automatic reaction by strengthening the firing of that particular neural pathway.  Remember: feeling better is possible and it is 100% within your control. Visit glomsdacoaching.com for free downloadable mental wellbeing resources.

Cognitive behaviour therapy states that our (1) thoughts, (2) feelings and (3) behaviour are interconnected and influence each other. When we are feeling bad, it is often linked to us having negative thoughts. Break the vicious cycle of feeling bad by changing it at the thought level. Become aware of your thoughts that cause you to feel bad and ask yourself: "is this actually fact or am I just perceiving it this way?" Visit glomsdacoaching.com for free downloadable mental wellbeing resources.