Stop Waiting to Be Noticed | On Reflection #1 | #123

The money was gone. The guilt stayed with him.At 17, Will Gryba believed he’d found a way to get rich quick. When the Ponzi scheme fell apart, he had more than his own losses to think about: he’d encouraged other people to join.Now the creator behind Next Gen Personal Finance, Will joins me on The Lonely Chapter to explore why we fall for get-rich-quick schemes, how social media feeds the pressure to look successful, and what it takes to change your relationship with money.Will also recalls losing £2,000 on dropshipping, using money his parents had saved for him since childhood. He shares how he later became so focused on saving money that he struggled to enjoy spending it, and why understanding his money habits meant looking beyond the numbers.We explore money psychology and childhood experiences alongside practical lessons on credit card debt, emergency funds and preparing to leave a regular salary. We also talk about guilt-free spending, money conversations with a partner and the trip to Japan that helped Will see financial freedom differently.What do you actually want your money to make possible?Will Gryba:Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/nextgenngpf/TikTokhttps://www.tiktok.com/@nextgenngpfYouTubehttps://www.youtube.com/channel/UCdau2ah6Sxhb-jgpk2TnGWwBetween the Chapters, my Substackhttps://lonelychapter.substack.com/

What if the life you worked for no longer fits you?At 23, Yusef Smith worried it was already too late to start again. He left a career at BlackRock to study medicine, then later left the NHS to focus on Propane Fitness.In this episode of The Lonely Chapter, Dr Yusef Smith joins me to talk about changing careers, finding purpose and the expectations that shape our decisions before we've stopped to question them. He shares the four currencies he uses to assess a career: money, time, location and impact. How much weight should each carry when you're deciding what comes next?We also explore meditation, overthinking and the pressure to keep improving yourself. Yusef discusses the Sedona Method and his personal experience with TRE (Tension/Trauma Releasing Exercises), including the changes he noticed, disrupted sleep and difficult reactions reported by friends. I share my own first experience of TRE, including feeling calmer and finding the lack of control unsettling.Towards the end, we talk about honest feedback, work-life balance and the friendships that need deliberate attention. Yusef explains why he sets reminders to check in with people, prompting a question about whether making that effort is itself an act of care.Read Between the Chapters on Substack for my reflections on the questions and stories from the podcast.Yusef's links and resources:Propane FitnessPropane Fitness on YouTubePropane Fitness on InstagramDr. Yusef’s TRE video discussed in this episodeFollow The Lonely Chapter on your podcast app, and share this conversation with someone who's questioning their next step.

One bad moment can make you question everything.Confidence can take years to build, yet sometimes a single comment, mistake or setback is enough to make us doubt ourselves. So how do we rebuild that belief when it's been knocked?In this episode of The Lonely Chapter, I sit down with Joshua Paul, founder of Fit4Football, to explore what really builds confidence, why we lose it and how we can learn to trust ourselves again.Drawing on over 15 years of coaching experience, Josh shares his approach to developing self-belief, overcoming the fear of failure and changing the way we speak to ourselves. We explore why our identity can become dangerously tied to what we achieve, how comparison affects our happiness and why focusing on the process rather than the outcome can change the way we approach life.We also get into ambition, obsession and the sacrifices that come with pursuing something you genuinely love. Josh reflects on the choices he's made in his own life, the things he's prioritised and what success really means to him.Although Josh's background is in football, this conversation goes far beyond sport. It's about confidence, resilience, personal responsibility and learning to build a life that feels right for you.Find Joshua Paul:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fit_4_football/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@fit_4_footballYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGcFqqcE7laGkHSs-SnLPFAFacebook: Fit4footballWebsite: https://www.fit-4-football.co.uk/More from The Lonely Chapter:Between the Chapters: https://lonelychapter.substack.com/If something in this conversation resonates with you, share it with someone who might need to hear it.

Working hard and still waiting for your chance?In the first 'On Reflection', I return to three moments from my conversations with Iain Dale, Martin Seager and Corrie Mustafa, bringing in my own experiences of ambition, listening and appreciating an achievement.Iain’s story of waiting to be noticed makes me reflect on asking for opportunities and taking more initiative with the podcast. An exchange with Martin takes me back to volunteering with Samaritans, and how active listening can help someone feel heard without needing to offer the perfect advice.Corrie’s thoughts on chasing goals bring me to my own milestones: 100 podcast episodes and the Rock triathlon trilogy. I explore the pressure to keep moving forward, the exhaustion that can follow a big achievement, and making room to feel proud of what we’ve done.Read 'Between the Chapters' here:https://lonelychapter.substack.com/

What does it take to believe in yourself when you’ve grown up feeling like the problem?For Corrie Mustafa, a small sense of purpose began in the 24-hour gym opposite his temporary accommodation. Boxing brought routine, friendship and people who wanted him to do well.In this episode of The Lonely Chapter, Corrie joins Sam Maclean to reflect on growing up with ADHD, autism and Tourette’s, his experience of emotional neglect, and the loneliness of feeling misunderstood. We talk about how childhood experiences shape self-worth and relationships, finding belonging through boxing, and dealing with setbacks when you’ve put everything into something.Corrie also shares what supporting other people now means to him, how his partner has helped him understand himself, and why having direction doesn’t mean the difficult days have disappeared.Follow Corrie on Instagram (@coza_boxing) and LinkedIn.Read Between the Chapters on Substack for my reflections on the ideas and stories from the podcast.If someone came to mind while listening, send them this episode. Follow The Lonely Chapter wherever you listen for more conversations about the chapters that change us.

Being told to talk isn’t the same as being heard.In this conversation, consultant clinical psychologist Martin Seager returns to The Lonely Chapter for episode 121. We explore masculinity, emotional wellbeing and the difference between encouraging someone to talk and helping them feel understood.From boys’ experiences at school to men’s groups and male-friendly therapy, we discuss listening, loneliness and belonging. I also ask whether the pressure to provide can leave men tying their self-worth to what they do for others, and why male victims of domestic abuse can struggle to be heard.Listen to our first conversation:Why Men Struggle in Silence | Martin Seager on Men’s Mental Health.Explore Martin’s work through The Centre for Male Psychology and his article, Making better connections with men and boys.If this brings someone to mind, share it with them.

Some truths are hardest to tell the people we love.LBC presenter Iain Dale hears them on live radio. In this conversation with Sam on The Lonely Chapter, he reflects on the trust that leads callers to share things they have never told their partners, friends or families.We begin with Constance, a regular caller approaching her 102nd birthday, who wondered whether she would speak to him again. Her call opens a conversation about listening, empathy and the human connection between a radio presenter and someone they have never met.Iain discusses coming out to his parents at 40, finding his opportunity at LBC at 48, and the online abuse that left him tearful on the train home. Sam draws on his experience volunteering with Samaritans as they explore emotional boundaries and what it means to listen to someone in distress.They also discuss social media anger, refusing to manufacture a rant for a clip, the future of radio in the age of YouTube, and Iain’s memoir, Have I Said Too Much? My Life in Politics & the Media.Follow The Lonely Chapter for conversations about the chapters that change us, and share this episode with someone who would value it.Iain’s podcasts, book and websiteWhere Politics Meets History — with Iain Dale and Tessa DunlopIain Dale All TalkHave I Said Too Much? My Life in Politics & the MediaIain’s websiteX / TwitterInstagram

Someone can look as though they’re coping while carrying pain other people don’t see.For Suicide Awareness Month, I’ve brought together moments from seven previous episodes of The Lonely Chapter about struggling privately, feeling heard, and what helped people through.Dr Susie Bennett begins by exploring the pressure some men feel to appear fine. Brandon Day shares the gap between outward success and private distress. Martin Seager and Lisa Sugarman consider what it means to listen well. Jason Kubiak recalls practical support during divorce and homelessness, while Liz McConaghy reflects on losing the identity and belonging military life had given her. We return to Susie to consider immediate safety and longer-term support.This compilation moves from hidden pain to the relationships, conversations and practical help that mattered in people’s lives. I hope it helps you understand yourself, or someone you know and love, a little better.Content note: This episode discusses suicide, suicidal thoughts and mental health struggles. Please take care of yourself as you listen.SUPPORTIf anything here feels familiar, support is available. In the UK, you can call Samaritans free, day or night, on 116 123.Samaritans support information:https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/contact-samaritan/ORIGINAL EPISODESFind these titles in The Lonely Chapter’s back catalogue, listed in the order their extracts appear:Why Men Hide Their Pain Until They Break | Dr Susie Bennett | #107When High Performance Leads to Burnout | Brandon Day | #105Why Men Struggle in Silence | Martin Seager on Men’s Mental HealthHow to Start Difficult Mental Health Conversations That Really Help - Lisa SugarmanWhy Strong Men Don’t Always Ask for Help | Jason Kubiak | #110Why Peace Was Harder to Survive Than War | Liz McConaghy | #111The Hidden Epidemic of Male Suicide | Dr. Susie BennettFollow The Lonely Chapter for more conversations about the chapters that change us.

Sometimes you can do everything right and still lose.You can prepare properly and still fail. Treat someone well and still be left. Work hard for an opportunity and receive no answer. So how do you live well when effort cannot guarantee the outcome?In this solo episode, Sam explores Stoicism as a practical philosophy for the moments when reality refuses to cooperate. Drawing on ideas from Epictetus, Seneca and Marcus Aurelius, he examines the difference between what we can control, what we can influence and what we eventually have to accept.Through stories about relationship boundaries, rejection, a triathlon in which almost everything went wrong, fear in the fire service and lessons learned while volunteering with Samaritans, Sam considers how easily we add painful interpretations to difficult facts.He also explores the difference between emotional regulation and emotional suppression, why resilience can become harmful endurance, and how modern Stoicism is sometimes used as an excuse to avoid vulnerability. The episode ends with a practical reflection involving control, acceptance, the four Stoic virtues and memento mori: the reminder that our time is finite.This is an episode about responsibility without certainty, overthinking, emotional wellbeing and deciding what deserves your limited attention.Read Between the Chapters on Substack:https://lonelychapterpodcast.substack.com/

What does it really take to lead when you don’t know the right answer, and the consequences of getting it wrong are real?Dave Berke is a retired US Marine Corps fighter pilot, former TOPGUN instructor and ground combat leader who served in Ramadi alongside Jocko Willink and Leif Babin. Today, he is Chief Development Officer at Echelon Front and the author of The Need to Lead.In this conversation, Dave takes us inside what TOPGUN actually teaches about decision-making, humility and remaining calm under pressure. He explains why leadership is learned rather than inherited, how to remain decisive without becoming convinced you are right, and how he earned the trust of Marines who had far more ground combat experience than him.Dave also reflects on assigning his own team to Ramadi, losing Corporal Chris Leon, carrying responsibility without being consumed by guilt and returning to his family just six days later. He shares why the emotional control that served him in combat could not simply be switched off at home, and what his wife and children have subsequently taught him about leadership.This is a conversation about ambition, trust, loss, emotional control and what leadership demands from us in the cockpit, in combat and around the people we love.Find Dave:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/davidrberke/Echelon Front: https://echelonfront.com/Dave’s Echelon Front profile: https://echelonfront.com/instructors/dave-berke/