Survival, Hope, Healing… Then What?: Why Grief Changes Years After Child Loss & Suicide Loss

Click to Send a Text or Voicemail to MelissaWhat (actually) happens after survival?In this episode of Down the Rabbit Hole, Melissa speaks honestly about the part of grief few people prepare grieving mothers for — the “now what?” space that often emerges years after child loss and suicide loss.After the shock fades, the anniversaries pass, and the world seems to move forward, many mothers quietly find themselves facing something deeper:identity loss,self-trust collapse,nervous system exhaustion,and the complicated reality of learning how to live with grief long term.This episode explores:💜 why grief changes shape over time💜 the difference between trauma and grief💜 the hidden collapse of self-trust after suicide loss💜 the later grief years no one talks about💜 rebuilding identity after child loss💜 nervous system healing and emotional survival💜 why “moving forward” does not mean leaving our children behindMelissa also shares part of her own story, including the wake-up call that came several years after Alex’s death when her body finally forced her to slow down and confront the deeper rebuilding work grief was asking of her.If you’ve ever found yourself wondering:“Why do I still feel lost?”“Why is this showing up differently now?”“Why does healing still feel unfinished?”…this episode is for you.Looking for support?Melissa now offers two FREE monthly spaces for grieving mothers:💜 You Are Not AloneA softer monthly (FREE) online support gathering for moms navigating child loss and suicide loss.🌉 The Bridge Sessions inside The Rebuilding RoomA (FREE) 1 x per month guided rebuilding space for grieving mothers learning how to live forward after survival.✨ Click Links Above to both spaces.Support the show__________________________________________________________________________💜 The Leftover Pieces is support for life after suicide loss. Click links below🎙 Leave me a message: Share a question, your story, or your person’s name for a future episode → theleftoverpieces.com/voicemail 🔗 Stay connected: Join my email community for weekly support, resources, and honest conversations. 🛠 Start here: Explore website for suicide loss resources for early grief, family support, and next steps. 🤝 For moms: One-on-one grief coaching for mothers navigating life after child loss.📞 Need support right now? If you or someone you love is struggling, call or text 988 (U.S. & Canada), or text HOME to 741741.

Click to Send a Text or Voicemail to MelissaMother’s Day after child loss can feel impossibly complicated. In this episode of Down the Rabbit Hole, Melissa speaks honestly about the layered reality of motherhood after suicide loss—the grief, the love, changing family dynamics, and the truth that this day never feels the same again. 💜 In this episode: Why Mother’s Day changes forever after child loss The duality of gratitude and grief How later grief lands differently than the early years Navigating complicated family relationships after loss Giving yourself permission to move through the day gently Why you are still a mother—always Mother’s Day, If I’m Telling the TruthMother’s Day can feel brutal.Not because I’m not gratefulto be a mother,but because there is no clean wayto hold love and lossin the same pair of hands.There is no simple wayto celebrate motherhoodwhen one of your children is gone,or far away,or when the shape of your familyhas changed in waysyou never would have chosen.The world wants to make this dayabout flowers and smilesand neat little moments of gratitude.But grief does not carewhat day it is.It rises where it rises.And sometimes it rises here.If I’m telling the truth,there are years I want to lean inand years I want to hide.Years I want to say your nameall day long,and years I can barely breathethrough the weight of missing you.And still—I am your mother.I am your motherin the ache,in the remembering,in the longing,in the love that did not leavewhen you did.I am your motherwhen this day feels sacred,and when it feels cruel.When I feel grateful.When I feel shattered.When I want to celebrate,and when I want to disappear.So maybe this daydoesn’t need to be beautiful.Maybe it just needs to be honest.Maybe it looks like a candle,a tear,a whispered name,a quiet no,a memory I let myself keep touching.Maybe honoring this dayjust means telling the truth:I love deeply.I grieve deeply.I am still a mother.And that is enough.Looking for deeper support? Whether you’re in the early years of grief or feeling stuck further down the road, let’s walk through it together. Click Here and Schedule a 30-minute Chat with Me. It would be my honor to speak with you about coaching. Between May 10–17, mention this episoSupport the show__________________________________________________________________________💜 The Leftover Pieces is support for life after suicide loss. Click links below🎙 Leave me a message: Share a question, your story, or your person’s name for a future episode → theleftoverpieces.com/voicemail 🔗 Stay connected: Join my email community for weekly support, resources, and honest conversations. 🛠 Start here: Explore website for suicide loss resources for early grief, family support, and next steps. 🤝 For moms: One-on-one grief coaching for mothers navigating life after child loss.📞 Need support right now? If you or someone you love is struggling, call or text 988 (U.S. & Canada), or text HOME to 741741.

Click to Send a Text or Voicemail to MelissaDo we ever stop grieving after losing a child to suicide? In this episode, we go 'down the rabbit hole' to explore the reality of long-term grief after suicide loss and what happens after the initial survival years. Many grieving mothers find themselves asking “what now?” after the first few years, when support fades but the grief remains. This episode introduces a new way of understanding grief—not as something to overcome, but something we learn to live with as we rebuild our identity, our life, and our sense of meaning after loss. If you’re searching for answers about life after suicide loss, ongoing grief, or how to move forward after losing a child, this episode begins that conversation. n this episode, we talk about: The truth about whether grief ever “ends” after suicide loss  Why surviving the first few years is not the same as learning to live again  The difference between grief and healing—and why both matter  The “now what?” space that often comes after the early years of loss  That child loss and suicide loss fundamentally change who we are  That this loss means we must rebuild your life, identity, and sense of self after loss  Why this year (season) of Down the Rabbit Hole episodes will focus on living forward—not just surviving A gentle reminder:If you’re early in your grief, this conversation may feel heavy.You are not meant to have this all figured out right now. Survival is enough in the beginning.This episode is here to offer perspective—not pressure.Take what serves you, leave the rest.🎙️ Want to share something with me?I’ve created a space where you can leave me a voice message—whether it’s a question, something you’re carrying, or just saying your loved one's name -- I am here for you & it would be my honor to hear from you.Your message may help shape a future episode, and you can always remain anonymous - just let me know at the beginning or end of your message🎙 Leave a message here: 🔗 theleftoverpieces.com/voicemailSupport the show__________________________________________________________________________💜 The Leftover Pieces is support for life after suicide loss. Click links below🎙 Leave me a message: Share a question, your story, or your person’s name for a future episode → theleftoverpieces.com/voicemail 🔗 Stay connected: Join my email community for weekly support, resources, and honest conversations. 🛠 Start here: Explore website for suicide loss resources for early grief, family support, and next steps. 🤝 For moms: One-on-one grief coaching for mothers navigating life after child loss.📞 Need support right now? If you or someone you love is struggling, call or text 988 (U.S. & Canada), or text HOME to 741741.

Click to Send a Text or Voicemail to MelissaIn this episode, I’m joined by Colleen Kraft—a pediatrician of 36 years and a mother of three—who shares the story of her son Tim, who died by suicide in February of 2022 at the age of 31.Tim’s journey included late-onset schizophrenia, beginning with early psychosis in his late twenties. Together, we explore what it looks like to love someone through serious mental illness, the challenges families face within the mental health system, and the difficult reality of navigating care when answers are limited.Colleen brings both her medical insight and her lived experience as a mother into this conversation, helping us better understand psychosis, its impact, and why it can lead to dangerous or unpredictable outcomes.We also talk about the questions so many of us carry after loss—the what ifs, the unknowns—and how we begin to move forward while still holding love, grief, and connection.This conversation is both informative and deeply human—offering insight, validation, and a reminder that you are not alone.Resources mentioned in this episode:Schizophrenia and Psychosis Action Alliance https://sczaction.org/Podcast: Schizophrenia: Three Moms in the Trenches https://schizophrenia3momsinthetrenches.buzzsprout.com/Norway’s Patient Pathways for Mental Health & Substance Use https://www.helsenorge.no/en/psykisk-helse/patient-pathway-for-mental-health-and-substance-abuse/EPI-NET (Early Psychosis Intervention Network) https://nationalepinet.org/Children and Screens: Digital Media & Youth Mental Health (Free Handbook) https://www.childrenandscreens.org/newsroom/news/children-and-screens-announces-groundbreaking-handbook-on-digital-medias-impact-on-children-and-adolescents/Book: The Wild Edge of Sorrow by Francis Weller Support the show__________________________________________________________________________💜 The Leftover Pieces is support for life after suicide loss. Click links below🎙 Leave me a message: Share a question, your story, or your person’s name for a future episode → theleftoverpieces.com/voicemail 🔗 Stay connected: Join my email community for weekly support, resources, and honest conversations. 🛠 Start here: Explore website for suicide loss resources for early grief, family support, and next steps. 🤝 For moms: One-on-one grief coaching for mothers navigating life after child loss.📞 Need support right now? If you or someone you love is struggling, call or text 988 (U.S. & Canada), or text HOME to 741741.

Click to Send a Text or Voicemail to MelissaA Quiet Return: Ten Years of Grief and the Bridges We BuildAfter an unexpected, unplanned two-month pause, Melissa returns to The Leftover Pieces Podcast with a quiet and honest reflection on what it means to reach the ten-year mark after losing her son Alex to suicide.So, as she says, this wasn’t a planned break. But as the calendar turned toward a full decade of living without her child, something in Melissa needed to slow down, reflect, and listen more closely to what this next season of grief — and this next season of the podcast — might look like.In this relaunch episode, Melissa shares openly about the weight of long-term grief, the ways child loss continues to shape identity even many years later, and the realization that healing doesn’t mean leaving our children behind.She also reflects on a powerful dream that helped her understand the guiding word that arrived at the beginning of the year: bridge — a symbol of learning to live forward while still carrying everything that matters.This episode marks the beginning of a new chapter for the podcast.In the months ahead, Melissa will be leaning into deeper conversations about what grief looks like beyond the early years, especially for bereaved mothers navigating the long road of life after child loss.Upcoming episodes will include:• conversations with mothers further along in their grief journeys • reflections on identity, resilience, and rebuilding life after loss • honest discussions about the parts of grief that rarely get talked about once the world assumes we’re “better” • continued support for those navigating suicide loss and traumatic child lossWhether you are early in your grief or many years down the road, this season will explore what it truly means to live forward while carrying the love and memory of those we’ve lost.As always, take what serves you… and leave the rest.Resources & SupportIf you are looking for additional support after suicide loss, or you are a bereaved mother navigating life after traumatic child loss, you can explore coaching, writing support, and grief resources at:www.theleftoverpieces.comMelissa offers:• one-on-one grief coaching • support for mothers navigating child loss • guidance for those who feel called to write or share their loved one’s story • resources for suicide loss survivors and familiesSupport the show__________________________________________________________________________💜 The Leftover Pieces is support for life after suicide loss. Click links below🎙 Leave me a message: Share a question, your story, or your person’s name for a future episode → theleftoverpieces.com/voicemail 🔗 Stay connected: Join my email community for weekly support, resources, and honest conversations. 🛠 Start here: Explore website for suicide loss resources for early grief, family support, and next steps. 🤝 For moms: One-on-one grief coaching for mothers navigating life after child loss.📞 Need support right now? If you or someone you love is struggling, call or text 988 (U.S. & Canada), or text HOME to 741741.

Click to Send a Text or Voicemail to MelissaA daily December series offering tender, truthful support for surviving the holidays after suicide loss — with grief, grace, & gentle company.Get THE Leftover Pieces APP & don't miss anything!👉 The Leftover Pieces AppThis is December 31 — Welcome, Fellow GrieverNew Year’s Eve can be heavy for grievers — a reminder that time keeps moving, even when your heart resists.Today’s I offer a quiet companionship with a longer reflection & an original New Year’s Eve poem, honoring survival and the love you carry forward as a year closesStill Here — A Daily Journal Prompt“As this year ends, what have I carried — what does that say about my love, my strength, or my becoming?”Still Here — A New Year’s Eve Reflection (Poem)This year did not end all at once. Rather, it released us reluctantly — sigh by ragged, echoing sigh, through endless hours that asked more than we could sustain.Tonight is not just a counting down. It is the act of carrying on — of bringing forward what love refuses to leave behind: the moments, the names, the memories, all that we survived, and all that we still hold close.Midnight does not soothe a bone-deep ache. January does not undo what we desperately wish could be undone. A calendar turning will never ready us — it announces another year to walk in the after.Let it arrive — tenderly, without forcing your heart to keep pace in this invisible, impossible race of another year without them.Love does not thin with the tendrils of time. It does not fray or fade at the edges. It deepens at its very roots, learns new shapes, finds new ways to grow inside us.We are not leaving them in the before.We are carrying them forward — through our living, through our loving, through our persistent, tender intention to keep going. In our soul’s quiet recognition of theirs.Somewhere between the old year and the new, held in remembering, buoyed by hoping, lives a quiet place — not empty, not resolved — just opening.And in this space, we stand exactly as we are.May this year meet you there. Here. Still here.Broken, bruised, or mending — maybe everything all at once, or somewhere in between — trust that you are becoming.Support the show__________________________________________________________________________💜 The Leftover Pieces is support for life after suicide loss. Click links below🎙 Leave me a message: Share a question, your story, or your person’s name for a future episode → theleftoverpieces.com/voicemail 🔗 Stay connected: Join my email community for weekly support, resources, and honest conversations. 🛠 Start here: Explore website for suicide loss resources for early grief, family support, and next steps. 🤝 For moms: One-on-one grief coaching for mothers navigating life after child loss.📞 Need support right now? If you or someone you love is struggling, call or text 988 (U.S. & Canada), or text HOME to 741741.

Click to Send a Text or Voicemail to MelissaIn this episode of The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss Conversations, I’m joined by Sean Dadashi to explore how journaling can support healing after suicide loss. We talk about why journaling often becomes a lifeline for grievers, how reflective practices help after traumatic loss, and why having accessible tools for processing grief matters — especially in the aftermath of a death by suicide.(P.S... I use and love this app!) Sean shares his own lived experience with depression and suicidal thoughts as a teenager, and how journaling helped him survive during a time when he felt untethered and overwhelmed. That experience eventually led him to co-found Rosebud, a therapist-backed journaling app designed to support emotional awareness, reflection, and personal growth.In this conversation, we discuss the cognitive science behind journaling, why it can be especially supportive after suicide loss, and how reflective practices help grievers begin to make sense of their inner world — without replacing therapy or crisis care. We’re clear about boundaries: journaling is not treatment, and it is not emergency support — but it is a powerful companion tool for many people navigating grief and trauma.We also talk about:Why journaling after suicide loss can feel safer for some grievers than talking out loudHow micro-habits and gentle prompts support consistency without pressureThe difference between journaling, therapy, and crisis resourcesEthical technology use in mental-health spacesPrivacy, encryption, and responsible data handlingThe CARE Initiative, focused on safeguarding and accountability in mental-health technologyI also share why I personally value journaling as part of a broader support system after loss — including the option to speak rather than type, receive thoughtful prompts, and engage in reflection without having to “know what to say.”This episode is grounded, educational, and honest — offering grievers, supporters, and clinicians alike a clearer understanding of how journaling can support healing after suicide loss, while honoring the reality that no single tool is enough on its own Rosebud — Journaling App & Resources:💜 Why This Episode MattersGrieving after suicide loss can feel isolating, overwhelming, and hard to put into words. This conversation offers a grounded look at how journaling — when used ethically and intentionally — can support reflection, emotional processing, and healing alongside other forms of care.Support the show__________________________________________________________________________💜 The Leftover Pieces is support for life after suicide loss. Click links below🎙 Leave me a message: Share a question, your story, or your person’s name for a future episode → theleftoverpieces.com/voicemail 🔗 Stay connected: Join my email community for weekly support, resources, and honest conversations. 🛠 Start here: Explore website for suicide loss resources for early grief, family support, and next steps. 🤝 For moms: One-on-one grief coaching for mothers navigating life after child loss.📞 Need support right now? If you or someone you love is struggling, call or text 988 (U.S. & Canada), or text HOME to 741741.

Click to Send a Text or Voicemail to MelissaA daily December series offering tender, truthful support for surviving the holidays after suicide loss — with grief, grace, and gentle company.Get THE Leftover Pieces APP & don't miss anything!👉 The Leftover Pieces AppThis is December 29 — Welcome, Fellow GrieverHonoring Survival — A Daily Journal Prompt: “What did it take for me to make it through this year?”Today’s ReflectionAs the year winds down, today’s episode offers a compassionate way to look back — without judgment, comparison, or pressure to find meaning where it doesn’t belong. Allow for plenty of grace and space my friends!Quoted or Referenced in This Episode– “The act of writing turns out to be its own reward.” — Cheryl StrayedA Gentle Closing ReminderSurvival is not small — it’s sacred.Stay Connected💜 TheLeftoverPieces.com💜 Instagram @theleftoverpieces💜 Download the Leftover Pieces AppSupport the show__________________________________________________________________________💜 The Leftover Pieces is support for life after suicide loss. Click links below🎙 Leave me a message: Share a question, your story, or your person’s name for a future episode → theleftoverpieces.com/voicemail 🔗 Stay connected: Join my email community for weekly support, resources, and honest conversations. 🛠 Start here: Explore website for suicide loss resources for early grief, family support, and next steps. 🤝 For moms: One-on-one grief coaching for mothers navigating life after child loss.📞 Need support right now? If you or someone you love is struggling, call or text 988 (U.S. & Canada), or text HOME to 741741.

Click to Send a Text or Voicemail to MelissaA daily December series offering tender, truthful support for surviving the holidays after suicide loss — with grief, grace, and gentle company.Get THE Leftover Pieces APP & don't miss anything!👉 The Leftover Pieces AppThis is December 28 — Welcome, Fellow GrieverSunday Softening — A Daily Journal Prompt: “What would it feel like to soften my expectations of myself today?”Today’s ReflectionAs the holidays fade and the year nears its end, today’s episode offers permission to slow down and let the season settle gently.Quoted or Referenced in This Episode– “You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.” — Mary OliverA Gentle Closing ReminderSoftening is not weakness — it’s wisdom.Stay Connected💜 TheLeftoverPieces.com💜 Instagram @theleftoverpieces💜 Download the Leftover Pieces AppSupport the show__________________________________________________________________________💜 The Leftover Pieces is support for life after suicide loss. Click links below🎙 Leave me a message: Share a question, your story, or your person’s name for a future episode → theleftoverpieces.com/voicemail 🔗 Stay connected: Join my email community for weekly support, resources, and honest conversations. 🛠 Start here: Explore website for suicide loss resources for early grief, family support, and next steps. 🤝 For moms: One-on-one grief coaching for mothers navigating life after child loss.📞 Need support right now? If you or someone you love is struggling, call or text 988 (U.S. & Canada), or text HOME to 741741.

Click to Send a Text or Voicemail to MelissaA daily December series offering tender, truthful support for surviving the holidays after suicide loss — with grief, grace, and gentle company.Get THE Leftover Pieces APP & don't miss anything!👉 The Leftover Pieces AppThis is December 27 — Welcome, Fellow GrieverLetting Stillness Be Enough — A Daily Journal Prompt: “What might become possible if I allow this weekend to be slower than usual?”Today’s ReflectionThe space between Christmas and the new year can feel disorienting for grievers. Today’s episode invites stillness and reminds us that slowing down is part of healing.Quoted or Referenced in This Episode– “In an age of speed, I began to think, nothing could be more invigorating than going slow.” — Pico IyerA Gentle Closing ReminderYou don’t have to fill the quiet — you can rest inside it.Stay Connected💜 TheLeftoverPieces.com💜 Instagram @theleftoverpieces💜 Download the Leftover Pieces AppSupport the show__________________________________________________________________________💜 The Leftover Pieces is support for life after suicide loss. Click links below🎙 Leave me a message: Share a question, your story, or your person’s name for a future episode → theleftoverpieces.com/voicemail 🔗 Stay connected: Join my email community for weekly support, resources, and honest conversations. 🛠 Start here: Explore website for suicide loss resources for early grief, family support, and next steps. 🤝 For moms: One-on-one grief coaching for mothers navigating life after child loss.📞 Need support right now? If you or someone you love is struggling, call or text 988 (U.S. & Canada), or text HOME to 741741.