Ep. 209: Toxic Relationships, Gaslighting & Alcohol

If you’ve spent a bunch of years opening a bottle of wine to deal with stress and overwhelm, to celebrate or reward yourself for making it to the end of the week, it may feel awkward or hypocritical to talk with your kids about the risks of addiction to alcohol.  But in a culture obsessed with booze, being able to help your kids understand the impact that alcohol and drugs can have on their lives and how to identify risks and behaviors that can lead to substance abuse and dependence is important - arguably even more important than all the hours we spend helping them with algebra homework and cheering them on at baseball and soccer games.  I asked Jessica Lahey, author of The Addiction Inoculation, Raising Healthy Kids In A Culture Of Dependence to share what parents can do to help kids recognize their risk for alcohol addiction, spot signs of early abuse and navigate our boozy world without falling into the trap of substance use and dependence.  It’s information I wish I had known when I started drinking and in looking at the risk factors for dependence it also gave me a new level of understanding of why alcohol was such a compelling drug in my life and compassion for myself for falling into the drinking cycle.  3 Ways I Can Support You In Drinking Less + Living More Join The Sobriety Starter Kit, the only sober coaching course designed specifically for busy women. My proven, step-by-step sober coaching program will teach you exactly how to stop drinking — and how to make it the best decision of your life. Save your seat in my FREE MASTERCLASS, 5 Secrets To Successfully Take a Break From Drinking  Grab the Free 30-Day Guide To Quitting Drinking, 30 Tips For Your First Month Alcohol-Free. Connect with me for free sober coaching tips, updates + videos on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest and TikTok @hellosomedaysober. Connect with Casey McGuire Davidson To find out more about Casey and her coaching programs, head over to www.hellosomedaycoaching.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever stopped drinking but then struggled to stay sober after a bit? You’re not alone.  The best way to stay sober is to focus on building a life you love without alcohol. It’s about not only putting down the wine glass, but also shifting the way you’ve been living your life so that you no longer want to numb yourself at the end of the day.  If you’ve been worried about your drinking for a while, have tried to moderate and made (and broken) all the rules about when and how much to drink and finally have sober momentum, it is something to celebrate and protect.  Whether you’ve been sober for a month, 4 months, 6 months or a year, there are steps you should take to stay on the alcohol-free path, build a life you love and guard against going back to drinking.  First let’s break down why women might go back to drinking after a period of sobriety.  The four most common reasons women drink after a period of sobriety are boredom, stress, loneliness and hormonal changes before their period or in perimenopause. They’re also big reasons women have fallen into the drinking cycle in the first place.  3 Ways I Can Support You In Drinking Less + Living More Join The Sobriety Starter Kit, the only sober coaching course designed specifically for busy women. My proven, step-by-step sober coaching program will teach you exactly how to stop drinking — and how to make it the best decision of your life. Save your seat in my FREE MASTERCLASS, 5 Secrets To Successfully Take a Break From Drinking  Grab the Free 30-Day Guide To Quitting Drinking, 30 Tips For Your First Month Alcohol-Free. Connect with me for free sober coaching tips, updates + videos on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest and TikTok @hellosomedaysober. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever used alcohol as a coping mechanism to escape a dysfunctional relationship or unhealthy environment?  You might be a victim of gaslighting if you’ve been told that you’re imagining things, too sensitive, dramatic, overreacting, forgetful, paranoid, confused, insecure or misinterpreting things.  And if you’re drinking it’s easy for someone to say “you’re drunk, you don’t know what you’re talking about” or “you were drinking, you don’t remember what happened.” Without clear memories you’re more vulnerable to someone undermining your confidence, confusing and invalidating your experiences and emotions, establishing power and manipulating you.   Gaslighting can make you doubt yourself and your memories. In a relationship you might notice that you’re frequently feeling confusion, doubt, guilt, isolation, anxiety, low self-esteem, depression, anger or desperation.  Alcohol can make it harder to cope with gaslighting in a number of ways. 3 Ways I Can Support You In Drinking Less + Living More Join The Sobriety Starter Kit, the only sober coaching course designed specifically for busy women. My proven, step-by-step sober coaching program will teach you exactly how to stop drinking — and how to make it the best decision of your life. Save your seat in my FREE MASTERCLASS, 5 Secrets To Successfully Take a Break From Drinking  Grab the Free 30-Day Guide To Quitting Drinking, 30 Tips For Your First Month Alcohol-Free. Connect with me for free sober coaching tips, updates + videos on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest and TikTok @hellosomedaysober. Connect with Casey McGuire Davidson To find out more about Casey and her coaching programs, head over to www.hellosomedaycoaching.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you thought about taking a break from drinking but then decided that you’re “just not ready yet” to do it? Even if we know that alcohol is dragging us down, the idea of stopping drinking can be so daunting and scary)that we can stay in the drinking cycle for months or years longer than we need to.  If you’re waiting for your life to get better so that you’ll be able to stop drinking, you might not realize that your life WILL get better WHEN you stop drinking.  Beyond FOMO and using alcohol as a way to connect and relieve stress, a lot of us are not ready to stop drinking yet because we have no idea how to actually do it.  So instead of stopping drinking, we decide to double down on being better at “moderating”, making more rules and guidelines for when or how or how much we’ll drink in an effort to keep alcohol in our lives but minimize the harm it causes.  So, if you’re in the place of thinking that you’re “not ready yet to stop drinking”, we’re here to help! I asked Julie Dereshinsky, a certified professional coach who works with high-functioning, high-achieving women who are questioning their relationship with alcohol to help me dig into what you can do if you think that alcohol is dragging you down but you don’t feel ready to stop drinking.  3 Ways I Can Support You In Drinking Less + Living More Join The Sobriety Starter Kit, the only sober coaching course designed specifically for busy women. My proven, step-by-step sober coaching program will teach you exactly how to stop drinking — and how to make it the best decision of your life. Save your seat in my FREE MASTERCLASS, 5 Secrets To Successfully Take a Break From Drinking  Grab the Free 30-Day Guide To Quitting Drinking, 30 Tips For Your First Month Alcohol-Free. Connect with me for free sober coaching tips, updates + videos on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest and TikTok @hellosomedaysober. Connect with Casey McGuire Davidson To find out more about Casey and her coaching programs, head over to www.hellosomedaycoaching.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you love drinking like I did, I know it’s almost impossible to imagine that you could be happier sober.  Before I stopped drinking I imagined that my life without alcohol would be lonely, boring and depressing.  I thought that I would always want to drink, feel constantly deprived, that date nights with my husband would be less fun, parenting my kids would be more stressful and dinners out with colleagues would be awkward.  I’m glad to tell you that I was dead wrong.  I am happier sober than I ever was in my drinking days. So if you’re scared of an alcohol-free life, listen to this conversation with Madeline Forrest Campbell, host of the Happiest Sober Podcast. We will share with you all the reasons why you should jump into sobriety and get excited about what lies ahead for you, because it’s going to be good!  3 Ways I Can Support You In Drinking Less + Living More Join The Sobriety Starter Kit, the only sober coaching course designed specifically for busy women. My proven, step-by-step sober coaching program will teach you exactly how to stop drinking — and how to make it the best decision of your life. Save your seat in my FREE MASTERCLASS, 5 Secrets To Successfully Take a Break From Drinking  Grab the Free 30-Day Guide To Quitting Drinking, 30 Tips For Your First Month Alcohol-Free. Connect with me for free sober coaching tips, updates + videos on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest and TikTok @hellosomedaysober. Connect with Casey McGuire Davidson To find out more about Casey and her coaching programs, head over to www.hellosomedaycoaching.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Raising a child with ADHD, Autism or neurodivergence can be mentally, emotionally and physically exhausting and alcohol can seem like an easy way to relax and turn off your brain at the end of the day.  Neurodiversity encompasses a variety of conditions such as autism, ADHD, anxiety disorders, dyslexia, and more. Each condition presents its own unique set of challenges and strengths, impacting the experiences of both the kids and their parents.  Dr. Emily King notes, “Most neurodivergent kids have really big feelings and sensitive nervous systems. They may be too overwhelmed to interact socially the way neurotypical children do. If you're the mother of a neurodivergent child it's like parenting on steroids. You have to be more consistent and on your game all the time and that can be completely draining.” There are also complex emotions parents feel when having a child diagnosed with neurodivergence.  Combine the stress and responsibilities of parenting a neurodivergent kid with the fact that women, to a greater extent than men, tend to drink to cope with stress and negative feelings, and you have the perfect recipe for alcohol to become both a coping strategy and a problem for moms in this situation. 3 Ways I Can Support You In Drinking Less + Living More Join The Sobriety Starter Kit, the only sober coaching course designed specifically for busy women. My proven, step-by-step sober coaching program will teach you exactly how to stop drinking — and how to make it the best decision of your life. Save your seat in my FREE MASTERCLASS, 5 Secrets To Successfully Take a Break From Drinking  Grab the Free 30-Day Guide To Quitting Drinking, 30 Tips For Your First Month Alcohol-Free. Connect with me for free sober coaching tips, updates + videos on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest and TikTok @hellosomedaysober. Connect with Casey McGuire Davidson To find out more about Casey and her coaching programs, head over to www.hellosomedaycoaching.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you’re just starting out on the alcohol-free path it’s possible you are holding on to a negative image of what “sober life” looks like.  Before I stopped drinking I thought sobriety would be boring, sad and lonely and those beliefs kept me stuck in the drinking cycle for a long time.  I want to help you to replace those limiting beliefs and embrace sobriety as a power move. Sobriety can be the tool you use to live your best life as the most vibrant, capable and confident version of yourself.  Brené Brown wrote in a piece titled, What Being Sober Has Meant to Me, that "sobriety isn’t a limitation. Sobriety isn’t even a “have to”—it’s a superpower". When you stop drinking you’ll have more mental clarity, emotional stability, health, happiness, freedom, money, energy and time.  3 Ways I Can Support You In Drinking Less + Living More Join The Sobriety Starter Kit, the only sober coaching course designed specifically for busy women. My proven, step-by-step sober coaching program will teach you exactly how to stop drinking — and how to make it the best decision of your life. Save your seat in my FREE MASTERCLASS, 5 Secrets To Successfully Take a Break From Drinking  Grab the Free 30-Day Guide To Quitting Drinking, 30 Tips For Your First Month Alcohol-Free. Connect with me for free sober coaching tips, updates + videos on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest and TikTok @hellosomedaysober. Connect with Casey McGuire Davidson To find out more about Casey and her coaching programs, head over to www.hellosomedaycoaching.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever felt like you’re drinking for “medicinal purposes” to get through your monthly menstrual cycle and perimenopause symptoms?  I’m 48 and the first time I had a hot flash I texted my girlfriends to ask “Oh my god, is this what a hot flash feels like? It sucks!” Perimenopause is sometimes described as a "reverse puberty" which is about as fun as it sounds, except unlike puberty, it can last up to 10 years!  Between mood swings, cramps, hot flashes, headaches, brain fog, feeling physically uncomfortable, sad and unmotivated, hormonal changes in perimenopause can fuel your desire to drink.  Mood swings are no joke. And the estrogen fluctuations that come with perimenopause can make your emotions all over the place.  Hot flashes and night sweats can leave you feeling drained and tired. Our brains are going through some serious changes, too. Hormonal fluctuations can mess with our dopamine levels, making us crave alcohol more than usual. So if reaching for alcohol is your go-to coping mechanism, you’re in perimenopause or on your cycle and you want to drink to numb out, have compassion for yourself. But the solution is not to drink a toxic substance that can make your symptoms worse and further deplete your body.  Bria Gadd, an integrative nutritionist and holistic health coach who hosts The Period Whisperer Podcast and specializes in female hormones, is here to talk about perimenopause and teach us how to navigate our monthly menstrual cycles without drinking to numb the symptoms. 3 Ways I Can Support You In Drinking Less + Living More Join The Sobriety Starter Kit, the only sober coaching course designed specifically for busy women. My proven, step-by-step sober coaching program will teach you exactly how to stop drinking — and how to make it the best decision of your life. Save your seat in my FREE MASTERCLASS, 5 Secrets To Successfully Take a Break From Drinking  Grab the Free 30-Day Guide To Quitting Drinking, 30 Tips For Your First Month Alcohol-Free. Connect with me for free sober coaching tips, updates + videos on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest and TikTok @hellosomedaysober. Connect with Casey McGuire Davidson To find out more about Casey and her coaching programs, head over to www.hellosomedaycoaching.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Quitting drinking can be the lead domino to uplevel your life and explore a midlife makeover!  I can say that now, but I know when you’re first considering sobriety it doesn’t feel like an opportunity.  When I stopped drinking it was a last resort after years of trying to moderate and control my drinking.  I started my 100 day no alcohol challenge because I felt physically and emotionally awful and I knew alcohol was a big part of the problem. And despite knowing that drinking made me anxious and depressed, I thought that life in sobriety would suck and I would be bored, isolated and lonely.  Drinking had made my life smaller by crowding out other interests and activities I could have been exploring. Once you stop drinking and get through early sobriety you’ll find you have more time, money, energy and confidence. You’ll feel more present and creative. And that’s the perfect time for a midlife makeover.  3 Ways I Can Support You In Drinking Less + Living More Join The Sobriety Starter Kit Program, the only sober coaching course designed specifically for busy women.  Grab the Free 30-Day Guide To Quitting Drinking, Tips For Your First Month Alcohol-Free. Connect with me on Instagram. Or you can find me on Facebook, Pinterest, YouTube and TikTok @hellosomedaysober. Love The Podcast and Want To Say Thanks? Buy me a coffee!  In the true spirit of living in Seattle coffee is my love language.  So if you want to support the hours that go into creating this show each week, click this link to buy me a coffee and I'll run to the nearest Starbucks + lift a Venti Almond Milk Latte and toast to you! https://www.buymeacoffee.com/hellosomeday Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever found yourself reaching for a drink to shake off a feeling of overwhelm, stress, insecurity or imposter syndrome?  I used to drink to feel less nervous the night before a big presentation, an interview or a performance review. I worried that I didn’t know enough, wasn’t well prepared enough or wouldn’t present confidently enough, so I thought a few glasses of wine would help me calm down and make those feelings disappear, even just for a little while. Impostor syndrome is surprisingly common among high achieving women. And it doesn’t matter if you’re a CEO, a lawyer, a teacher, graduate student or mom of little kids.  Most women feel an immense pressure to excel in all areas of our lives and a healthy fear of failure. Maybe when you’re at work you feel like you’re not doing enough at home with your kids or in your relationship. And when you’re at home you feel like you’re falling behind in the office.  And that’s only part of the way that women are made to feel like we’re not good enough or measuring up. Combine that with the fact that we feel like we have to look like we “have it all together” to be respected in the workplace, it’s no wonder so many of us want to dive into a bottle of wine to make it all go away at 6pm.  I asked my friend Amy Liz Harrison, a life coach, recovery and mental health advocate, and the host of the Eternally Amy podcast to help me dive into the topic of imposter syndrome and how women are drinking to cope with self-doubt and anxiety in a world with endless pressures to do more and be better. 3 Ways I Can Support You In Drinking Less + Living More Join The Sobriety Starter Kit, the only sober coaching course designed specifically for busy women. My proven, step-by-step sober coaching program will teach you exactly how to stop drinking — and how to make it the best decision of your life. Save your seat in my FREE MASTERCLASS, 5 Secrets To Successfully Take a Break From Drinking  Grab the Free 30-Day Guide To Quitting Drinking, 30 Tips For Your First Month Alcohol-Free. Connect with me for free sober coaching tips, updates + videos on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest and TikTok @hellosomedaysober. Connect with Casey McGuire Davidson To find out more about Casey and her coaching programs, head over to www.hellosomedaycoaching.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices