Episode 60: Save Me from the Waves

We are thrilled to be joined by Karin Enfield De Vries from Pure Transformations and Scared Woman Retreats for an honest exploration of boundaries, grief, and finding joy during times of celebration. Holidays like Christmas are often painted as joyful and magical, but for many, they bring up emotional complexities—especially for those navigating childlessness and changing family dynamics. We join Karin to unpack what it means to honour yur needs, set healthy boundaries, and create new traditions that reflect who you are today. We’ll talk about the courage to say no, the art of self-care during the holidays, and the power of embracing a more authentic way of celebrating. Whether you're feeling overwhelmed by family, work or friendship obligations, feeling lonely or looking for ways to make this season meaningful on your terms, this conversation will inspire and empower you. Karin established Pure Transformations in July 2022 and she works as a self-employed grief and loss counsellor, a wellbeing coach and a change management consultant offering support (online and in person) in English and Dutch. Sacred Woman Retreats offers supportive and heart-led spaces for women who are childless not by choice or circumstance. Did you enjoy this episode? Join in the conversation in our Full Stop online community for childless people from £5 a month with a free month on us Buy a Virtual Coffee to keep our podcast ad free and accessible to everyone. Download Finding Connections, a booklet by Sarah and Berenice with links to groups, books, events and other resources for childless people. We hope you find it helpful. Join our newsletter for behind the scenes info, wellbeing tips and news from the wider community and alerts to our podcast as it publishes direct to your inbox.

Drawing from their panel discussion at the Storyhouse Childless event in Chester, we explore what it means to navigate society and self-perception as men without children—whether by choice or circumstance. Featuring insights from Michael, Andy Harrod, Mark Briggs van Leeuwen, and Sam Ryley, this candid conversation highlights the challenges, the societal silence, and the journey to self-acceptance faced by childless men across generations. The importance of providing visibility and voice for childless men, challenging societal silence, and creating safe spaces for men to openly discuss their experiences.   Support for childless men: Andy Harrod on Substack Dr Robin Hadley’s research and website Robert Nurden’s website (author of I Always Wanted To Be A Dad: Men Without Children) The Full Stop online community is open to all genders. Michael and Andy are co-admins of The Childless Men’s Collective Gateway Women’s men’s page. After The Storm, run by Sarah Lawrence, our co-founder and podcast host, provides counselling for childless people. World Childless Week Men Matter Too along with resources and support spaces Chrissy Pantlin on Men’s Mental Health

In this conversation, Dr Jay Zigmont discusses the unique financial planning needs of childless people. He emphasises the importance of understanding the different life scripts and financial goals that come with being childless, and we have a chat about the societal judgments and perceptions that often accompany being childless not by choice. We talk about the challenges of systemic change in financial services to better help us, the significance of legacy and the power in building supportive communities. Childfree Wealth® and his website Childfree Wealth®.

In this conversation, Michael discusses the challenges and fears associated with aging and the need for planning and preparation. He emphasises the importance of thinking ahead and considering various aspects of life, such as cognitive ability, health, relationships, and technology. We also talk about the role of advocacy and the need for trusted friends or family members to support and advocate for individuals as they age. Michael shares personal experiences with his parents' dementia and the importance of having legal documents in place, such as power of attorney and enduring guardianship. We highlight the need for proactive planning and open discussions about ageing and care and ask if there are more ways to create a movement around end-of-life planning for the childless community.

World Childless Week is an annual event that aims to give a voice to the childless community. It was started by Stephanie Joy Phillips because she felt there was a lack of representation for childless individuals. The event has grown over the years, supported by the Ambassadors who help organise and promote the week. Being childless not by choice (cnbc) is the taboo subject of an unrecognised minority. World Childless Week is there to help the cnbc: validate their emotions, find support, build friendships, realise their own worth and rediscover the confidence to speak out and celebrate themselves as a unique individual.  Alongside supporting the childless community World Childless Week hopes to reach out and work towards building bridges between the childless, childfree and parents; raising empathy and removing the stigma of disenfranchised grief.   World Childless Week takes place on 16-22 Sept 2024.

Storyhouse is an independent arts centre and creative hub in Chester, UK. It offers a range of events, including Storyhouse Childless, which focuses on supporting and raising awareness for those who are childless or child-free. The event has grown over the years, with increasing attendance and expanded programming. It provides a safe and supportive environment for people to connect, share their experiences, and find understanding. The event is a two-day gathering that aims to create a supportive and empowering space for the childless community. Join Annabel, Kirsty, Jane and Nicola as we find out about the themes, get a few spoilers and talk about the need for Storyhouse Childless, and how this event has had a positive impact on volunteers and staff at the venue too. Storyhouse Childless takes place on 28-29th September 2024 with an extra meet-up on Friday 27th September at the Storyhouse bar. Buy tickets or find out more on the Storyhouse website.

We are joined by Ali Hall and Dr. Dawn Llewellyn to discuss the perceptions of childfree and childless individuals. We explore the challenges of visibility and the need for more nuanced language. The conversation addresses the divide between the childfree and childless communities, the importance of creating safe spaces, and the complexities of aging without children. The episode emphasises empathy, understanding, and debates unity as a means of advocating for non-parents. Dawn is an Associate Professor of Religion and Gender at the University of Chester, where she has been based since 2010.  Dawn has been researching, publishing, and speaking publicly about pronatalism for over 12 years, in particular examining how religion constructs ideas about motherhood and childlessness. Her latest book (contracted with Bloomsbury, should be finished by the end of this year!) focuses on how Christian women understand and manage their reproductive agency and choice. As co-founder of Storyhouse Childless, one of her aims has been to disrupt the binaries and divisions that pronatalism creates, to raise awareness of the many different experiences of childlessness, and to create opportunities for community and connection.  Ali Hall is the person behind the Childfree by Choice Twitter account, an account set up to help remove the stigma of being childfree by choice and showcase that you can feel deep love, happiness & fulfilment without being a parent. She is also a writer and can be found on Medium and Substack and has written 30+ articles on the non-parent experience, from the lived experience of being childfree while being mindful and inclusive of those who are childless. Ali is passionate about bridging the gap between parents, the childfree and the childfree. When not advocating for non-parents, she is happiest running on trails with her dogs or floating on the waves in her kayak. 

The Full Stop are joined by members of the online community to discuss personal growth, the importance of inclusivity and diversity within the childless community, and the therapeutic power of vulnerability. We share our struggles and the strength we have found in the community's empathy and support. We also discuss future directions, advocating for the community, and the value of challenging conversations. The episode underscores the The Full Stop’s role in creating a supportive environment and the collective appreciation for the sense of belonging it has provided. Enter our competition to win a signed copy of Save Me From The Waves by Jessica Hepburn, biscuits from The Kitsch Hen and a year of membership for a childless not by choice person to the online Full Stop Community. Enter via social media or our online form. Please note that terms and conditions apply.

Dr Joanne Lawrence-Bourne, founder of Natal Instincts Reproductive Psychology, and Dr. Robin Hadley, an independent research consultant and associate lecturer, shed light on the invisible pain of loneliness. In our conversations in our Full Stop online community and our personal experiences, we are very aware that loneliness can hit harder during holiday times and celebration days but often it can surface during our daily lives. We dive into an exploration of isolation and the impact on those without children, and share our personal encounters with this complex feeling.  

In this episode we catch up with Jessica Hepburn, who shares insights from her life as an author and adventure activist. Jessica discusses her upcoming book "Save Me from the Waves," the therapeutic role of nature and swimming in her life, and the influence of "Desert Island Discs" on her personal growth. She shoes her plans for a year of self-love and her writing on Substack. The conversation encompasses themes of resilience, self-discovery, and the importance of finding joy and connection in our found family.