Childless at the End of Life: What Nobody Tells You

This is one of those episodes that takes a little courage both to make, and perhaps to listen to. But we think you'll come away from it feeling more informed, less alone, and ready to take at least one step you've been putting off. Death and end of life planning are topics most of us avoid. Add childlessness into the mix and the silence gets even louder because so much of the information, guidance and legal framework out there assumes that you have someone: a child, a close family member, someone who knows you and will step in when the time comes. For a growing number of people, that assumption simply doesn't hold. In this episode we bring together three guests with distinct and complementary expertise to have the conversation that so many childless adults need and so rarely get. In this episode we cover: What end of life planning actually means, from advanced care planning right through to after death Powers of attorney: what they are, how they work, and crucially, what your options are if you don't have someone you trust to appoint Advanced Statements and Advanced Decisions to Refuse Treatment and why Penny argues these matter more than most people realise The concept of social death and how childlessness shapes the experience of ageing and loss What happens to your belongings and why recording the provenance of meaningful items matters The gap in legal guidance around local authority funerals and why it urgently needs updating Why there is currently no central register of wills in England and Wales and what that means for people who die alone The role of animals in later life, and the organisations that can help Assisted dying legislation: what it means (and doesn't mean) for powers of attorney right now Our guests: Charlotte Dixon — wills and probate solicitor and lifetime lawyer Professor Gail Letherby — sociologist and researcher specialising in childlessness, identity and the life course Penny Shepherd — coordinator of Ageing Without Children East Kent and trustee of the Ageing Without Children (AWOC) charity Please note: Nothing in this episode constitutes personal legal or financial advice. Laws and frameworks vary by country and region, always do your own research and consult a qualified professional for advice specific to your circumstances. Resources and links mentioned: Ageing Without Children (AWOC): awoc.org Office of the Public Guardian (England & Wales): gov.uk/opg National Will Register: nationalwillregister.co.uk The Cinnamon Trust: cinnamon.org.uk Cats Protection: cats.org.uk Dogs Trust: dogstrust.org.uk Ashes to Admin: Stories from the Caseload of a Local Authority Funeral Officer by Evie King Continue the conversation: Join The Full Stop Community at thefullstoppod.com/fullstopcommunity The Full Stop is a podcast for and about the childless not by choice community. New episodes available on all major podcast platforms Download the transcript

What happens when a writer decides to break the silence around childlessness, but not with a neat resolution, but through the voices of two women whose stories span 4,000 years? In this episode, Berenice and Michael are joined by Byddi Lee. She is the author of Barren (shortlisted for the 2025 Carousel Aware Prize for Independent Authors), The Rejuvenation Trilogy, and March to November. She has published flash fiction, short stories, and co-founded and manages the spoken word event Flash Fiction Armagh. Byddi also writes for stage and screen. Her climate-change play Toxic Relationships has been performed by Armagh Theatre Group in venues across Ireland regularly since 2023. Byddi is a member of BBC Writersroom Voices 23, is an Arts Council Northern Ireland supported writer and holds professional membership at the Irish Writers Centre in Dublin and the Society of Authors, UK. For more information, visit www.ByddiLee.com.

In this episode of The Full Stop, we are joined by Civilla Morgan, one of the earliest and most influential voices in the childless not by choice podcasting space. After ten years and 180 episodes, she shares her decision to step away from her podcast, a choice shaped by grief, timing, work, and deep self-reflection. Together, we explore the emotional weight of long-term podcasting, the stories behind consistent content creation, and how grief can fundamentally change the decisions we make about our lives. Civilla reflects on what she’s learned about childlessness over a decade of conversations, including the shared undercurrent of grief that binds the community, even as each journey remains deeply individual. We also talk about visibility, why so many people remain “hidden in plain sight,” the frustration of still being asked the same questions after years of advocacy, and why representation across many platforms and voices truly matters. Civilla speaks candidly about rest, redirection, and choosing to live a meaningful life even when the life you imagined didn’t happen. This is an honest, generous conversation about endings, legacy, healing, and the courage it takes to know when something meaningful has run its course. For more information, to join our online Community for childless people and appear on the Full Stop podcast please visit our website 

In this reflective end-of-year episode, we - Berenice, Sarah, and Michael - look back on the past year, the growth of the Full Stop, and the conversations that have shaped the Full Stop Community and wider childlessness community. We also turn gently towards the holidays, and Christmas, a season that can bring joy, grief, pressure, and loneliness in equal measure. We explore how Christmas changes over time, particularly through grief and childlessness, and why it’s okay to step away, rewrite traditions, or opt out altogether. From rejecting Christmas completely to rediscovering it through quieter, more personal rituals, this episode offers permission to do the season differently. The conversation touches on evolving grief, authenticity, community support, and letting go of the idea of a “perfect” Christmas and replacing it instead with compassion, flexibility, and self-kindness. This episode is for anyone who feels conflicted about the holidays, unsure how it fits into their life now, or simply in need of reassurance that there’s no right way to do it. Read our newsletter  Connect with us

Australian activist Michael Barnett joins us to talk about identity, queer visibility, childlessness not by choice, and what it means to advocate fiercely for others while holding private grief. A moving conversation about purpose, belonging, and the quiet ways we create legacy. **** Visit our website to join our supportive and friendly Full Stop Community for childless not by choice people, download the transcript of this episode and find out more about being our guest. Donate to our work with a virtual coffee. If you like what you've heard, please do leave us a review, thank you.

In this heartfelt episode of The Full Stop, counsellor and author Meriel Whale joins the team to discuss how childlessness reshapes love, identity, and connection within relationships. Together with Berenice, Sarah, and Michael, she explores what happens when partners experience grief at different paces, how intimacy and communication evolve after loss, and why understanding each other’s emotional landscape matters more than ever. This conversation dives deep into the unspoken spaces — loneliness within couples, the struggle to ask for help, and the challenge of rebuilding closeness after childlessness. Insightful, compassionate, and full of warmth, it’s an invitation to slow down, listen differently, and find courage in the spaces between.

Reframing ‘Otherness’: A Conversation with Lana Manikowski In our latest episode, we talk with author and coach Lana Manikowski about the experience of being “othered” as a woman without children. Lana describes how years of infertility led her to a new purpose: helping others define their lives beyond parenthood. She speaks openly about shame, resilience, and the importance of investing in yourself — whether that means therapy, journaling, or creating community. Lana also shares the story of founding Others Day Brunch, an annual event that offers connection and celebration for those who feel isolated around Mother’s Day. Lana Manikowski is an author, certified life coach, and infertility advocate dedicated to helping women thrive after infertility. She is the founder of The Other’s Day Brunch and host of The ‘So Now What?’ Podcast, creating spaces where childless women feel seen, understood, and empowered. After a seven-year journey through fertility treatments that ended without a child, Lana experienced the isolation, self-judgment, and grief of navigating a future she never planned for. When she couldn’t find the support she needed, she built it herself. Now, through her coaching, advocacy efforts, and community outreach, she helps women rediscover their relevance, connection, and purpose beyond motherhood. With an advanced coaching certification in grief and post-traumatic growth, Lana helps women process the loss of the dream of motherhood and move forward with intention. Her coaching program, Thrive After Infertility, guides women in rebuilding relationships and creating meaningful milestones that bring fulfillment in the decades ahead. Her book So Now What?, a #1 New Release on Amazon, offers a transformative roadmap for embracing life beyond infertility, helping women reclaim joy, meaning, and a sense of belonging without the children longed for. A sought-after speaker and media contributor, Lana is known for her powerful message: your story isn’t over, it’s just beginning. She lives in downtown Chicago with her husband and their furbaby, Coco. Download The Top 27 Things People Say When You Are Childless (...and how to respond). It ties perfectly into our conversation about othering because people with kids often love to offer suggestions for what we should be doing to achieve parenthood instead of acknowledging that we have already done what we are capable of. We know our bodies, our journeys, and our limits when it comes to what we choose to do or not do. I am also teaching a free masterclass on this in September. You can get the free guide here:  So Now What?, my first book, came out in April. Berenice wrote one of the endorsements and Jody Day wrote the foreword. So Now What? is about creating a life you love without the children you always dreamed of. It is the guide I wish my fertility clinic had offered me when my seven years of IVF ended without a baby. There’s a free giveaway with a download of Jody’s foreword and Chapter 1, which shares the story of the day I got the call from my doctor telling me my last and only frozen embryo was chromosomally abnormal. Download your copy from my website.

In this conversation, we’re joined by Anne Barratt from Empowering Health who discusses her holistic approach to health, focusing on kinesiology and its role in understanding individual experiences of menopause and childlessness. Anne encourages listeners to embrace their femininity and creativity, highlighting that ageing is not an end but a new beginning. After two decades in corporate marketing—and many hope-filled years of trying to become a mother—Anne’s dream of having children came to an abrupt and heartbreaking end. From that deep void of grief, she chose to rise. Determined to understand the “why” behind her journey, she immersed herself in personal healing and became qualified in a range of disciplines, including holistic health and counselling. Anne turned her own life around and went on to “birth” her business—a way to support others through emotional healing, life transitions, and creating lasting wellbeing. Her work is rooted in personal transformation, resilience, and a deep desire to help others break free from emotional pain, disconnection, and burnout. Inspired by her fertility journey and the grief of childlessness, Anne redefined what legacy means. Today, she channels that energy into helping women reconnect to their intuition, body wisdom, and soul truth—so they can rediscover joy, clarity, and a renewed sense of purpose. While she doesn’t specialise in deep trauma recovery, Anne gently guides her clients toward powerful “aha” moments, emotional breakthroughs, and energetic alignment to help them move forward. Instagram: @empowering_health / @empoweringhealthau Website: empoweringhealth.clinic Read the Full Stop newsletter  Join our online community and connect on social media 

In Episode 76, Berenice, Michael, and Sarah have the conversation they’ve avoided for six years: what happens after failed IVF. With raw honesty and compassion, we explore the emotional aftermath of a process that’s gruelling, often isolating, and rarely discussed when it doesn't lead to parenthood. We reflect on grief, lost identities, anger at misleading success rates, the mental and financial toll, and the uncomfortable silence surrounding childlessness after IVF. This episode holds space for everyone who has ever felt abandoned by the system, and those seeking to understand.

We welcome Professor Gayle Letherby, a pioneering sociologist whose deeply personal and academic work has transformed how we think about childlessness, grief, identity, and storytelling. Gayle reflects on her journey, beginning with a miscarriage in the 1980s that altered her life trajectory and became the foundation of a groundbreaking academic career. Her research into involuntary childlessness, pregnancy loss, and the status of parenthood spans decades and she’s still going strong About Professor Gayle Letherby Having worked as a nursery nurse prior to the miscarriage (in the early 1980s) of my, to my knowledge, one and only pregnancy, one and only baby, I gave up my job and listlessly, sometimes desperately, wandered through my own life feeling that I had no purpose and no future. Finding Sociology saved me with an A Level at a local FE college being followed by an undergraduate degree, a PhD and 30+ years of teaching, researching, writing and mentoring. The significance of mother or not has always been part of my academic labour and I have undertaken research and written much on the experience of those who do and those who do not mother (and father) and the implications and impact of this. My PhD was specifically concerned with the identity and experience of ‘infertility’ and ‘involuntary childlessness’ (which I write in quotation marks to highlight problems with definition). I interviewed and corresponded with more than 80 individuals, mostly women but some men too, and when writing up my thesis included some of my own experience in the text. Alongside other academic work I have also conducted a number of auto/biographical research projects on reproductive loss and on pregnancy and early motherhood (parenthood). Fifteen years ago I began to also write fiction and memoir, for both academic and lay audiences. My personal experience and my research interests are often the stimulus for the fiction I write and my significant others regularly appear in my memoir pieces. This includes my baby, the child who died months before her or his expected birth date, and also my mother, Dorothy, and father, Ron, and my husband John (all deceased). I find this writing both cathartic and energising. My own, and others’, experience of Covid-19 and of ‘growing older’ has led me to reflect on, not least, the differences between solitude and loneliness and the experience of growing older as a childless not by choice individual. In addition to my academic writings I publish some of my work on the open site ABCtales.com writing as gletherby.