On Paying Attention

The dance between I and Me lives right at the heart of selfhood—it’s the movement between the actor and the mask, the subject and the object, and the experiencer and the experienced. William James started the split: I as the knower, the pure subject of consciousness; Me as the known, the self that can be observed—my body, my history, my reputation, my roles. George Herbert Mead later turned this into a dance floor: I is spontaneous, unpredictable, creative response; Me is the social mirror, the internalised chorus of others telling us who we are supposed to be. So what’s the space between them? It’s not a gap you could drop a coin through. It’s more like the tension in a bowstring. On one side, I pulls toward raw immediacy: breath, impulse, spark. On the other, Me holds the shape, keeps the pattern recognisable. Together they generate the music of identity. Too much Me and you ossify into a statue of expectations. Too much I and you’re pure chaos, a fire with no hearth. The space itself is liminal, a threshold, rehearsal hall, dream corridor. It’s where improvisation happens. Imagine jazz: the Me is the chord progression, the agreed key; the I is the solo riffing over the structure. The in-between is the groove where they entwine. In coaching or soulcrafting terms, that space is fertile. It’s where someone can step back, see the “Me” they’ve been living as a script, and then let the “I” improvise a new line. Presence lives there. Choice lives there. The mythic imagination wakes up there because you are no longer fully trapped in the character nor dissolved into pure subject, but able to author between them. Exploring that space is like learning to lucid dream while awake, when you realise you are both the dreamer and the dreamed, the actor and the playwright, always in motion.

I read this morning from a philosopher that we are "misliving." Basically he was suggesting that in our current lifestyle, we often misread, misinterpret, or misconstrue various aspects of our lives, which keeps us from living a truly meaningful life.

You know, there's this quote by Gabriel Marcel that goes like this, "Life is not a problem to be solved but a mystery to be experienced." And honestly, I think it's such a cool way to look at life.

Is the choice of Hercules a trick question?Which would you choose?

In this episode, we explore the realities and emotions of being over fifty, acknowledging the poignant truth that we may have more days behind us than ahead. Join us as we dive into the complexities of life's finite nature and the impact it has on our perspectives. My guest today is Nicola Jones.

See the full notes here.

The art of noticing has me noticing.

For today's Coach's Notes, I want to share a conversation I had with Sarah back in May 2022. I was originally going to use this interview along with others to revive the Wisdom Experience podcast, which focuses on spirituality and inner wisdom. For whatever reason, I decided not to pursue the relaunch. But I did have some great conversations with a few people, and given the direction and mission of the Coach's Notes to explore the 6 pillars of self-improvement, with spirituality development being one of the pillars, I feel that these conversations fit nicely in the groove. Today's conversation features my friend Sarah Beth Hunt who is a writer, a yoga teacher, and a meditation teacher. We share our backstory and relationship with spirituality and spiritual development.

The journey to uncover our authentic selves is an ongoing process, marked by moments of self-discovery, growth, and transformation. By pulling back the layers of persona and examining the depths of our being, we can forge a deeper connection with ourselves and live more authentic, fulfilling lives. The authentic self is not a fixed destination, but rather a constant exploration of the ever-evolving, multifaceted nature of our inner continue worlds.Ultimately, embracing our authentic core selves requires courage, self-compassion, and a willingness to confront our fears and insecurities. As we learn to integrate our various personas with our true selves, we can cultivate a more harmonious, balanced sense of identity. This integration not only benefits our personal well-being but also enriches our relationships and interactions with others, fostering greater understanding, empathy, and connection.In the pursuit of authenticity, we must remember that the journey is as important as the destination. Each step we take towards understanding and accepting our true selves contributes to our growth and self-awareness. By embracing the complexity and fluidity of our identities, we can navigate the challenges and uncertainties of life with resilience, self-assurance, and a deeper connection to our innermost selves.

The notes for this episode are just under 2500 words. I would post them, but I want you to listen to the episode instead. I know you're a busy person, so I'll be kind and share a stripped down list of what I talk about in this episode.It's a long episode, so you might want to listen to it on your commute or while you're out walking or doing your chores!Here's what I talk about today:Some factors that are commonly associated with happiness include:Positive relationships with family, friends, and significant others.A sense of purpose or meaning in life.The ability to manage stress and cope with challenges effectively.Regular physical exercise and a healthy lifestyle.A sense of gratitude and appreciation for what one has.Pursuing activities that bring joy and fulfilment.A sense of accomplishment and achievement.A positive outlook and attitude towards life.Helping others and contributing to society.Financial stability and security.For the details, you have to listen to the episode, so go ahead and click that play button now!Excellence and Wisdom,Clay