E412 | Ways to Get Over the Fear of Saying the Wrong Thing

Let’s just say it: some of you are losing time, sleep, and opportunities because you’re afraid to speak up. Not because you don’t know what you want to say — but because you’re scared of saying it wrong. So you sit on it. You rehearse the conversation 20 times in your head. You rework the email draft. You “wait for the right time.” But the truth is, you’re not waiting for the right time — you’re avoiding the discomfort of being misunderstood, disagreed with, or making things awkward. This episode is for the person who’s tired of overthinking every sentence. Tired of holding it in, sugarcoating things, or walking away thinking, I should’ve said something. We’re not going to “boost your confidence.” We’re going to dismantle the lie that if you just say it the right way, conflict will magically disappear. I’ll walk you through where this fear actually comes from, what it costs you over time, and how to build real reps in communication that actually works — even if it’s messy, uncomfortable, or imperfect.   ____________________   Here’s what you’ll learn in this episode:   •The real reason you’re scared to say the wrong thing   •What to say when someone gets frustrated so you don’t shut down or spiral   •How to stop overthinking every email, post, or tough conversation     ____________________       Follow Us: Website: ArtofCoaching.com Instagram: @coach_brettb X: @coach_brettb

Most people have a bunch of notes, voice memos, and half-baked thoughts scattered across their phone, laptop, or random legal pads. They tell themselves, “One day I’ll organize this…” but that day rarely comes. In this episode, I break down a skill that’s helped me think more clearly, communicate more effectively, and actually build the stuff I kept talking about. The tips in this episode will help you stress test your ideas, sharpen your thinking, and turn loose thoughts into something useful—whether that’s a resource for your staff, a framework for your clients, or just a clearer head.   ____________________   Here’s what you’ll learn in this episode:   • A simple skill that helps you unload mental clutter and finally do something with all the knowledge and experience you’ve been sitting on   • How to better document what you’ve learned and structure it in a way so the people you lead—or help—can actually benefit from what you know   • Tips that helped me write my previous best-selling book and my upcoming one   ____________________     Follow Us: Website: ArtofCoaching.com Instagram: @coach_brettb X: @coach_brettb

This is a short, personal episode about a few things I’m intentionally doing more of in 2025—not because they sound impressive or productive, but because they’ve genuinely made my life calmer, healthier, and more grounded.   Rather than focusing on goals or systems, I talk through a handful of changes that have come from experience, reflection, and paying attention to what actually drains me versus what gives something back.   I share why I’m continuing to make my circle smaller without becoming closed off or cynical, why I’m done feeling uncomfortable asking for support, how I’m trying to be more mindful of how my excitement lands with different people, and why I’m working on not giving away my power just because I’m comfortable with conflict or ambiguity.   This episode isn’t about cutting people off or becoming harder. It’s about becoming more honest with myself—and more intentional with my time, energy, and relationships.   My hope is that as you listen, you reflect on where you might need to make similar adjustments in your own life.   What You’ll Learn in This Episode   •How I’m continuing to make my circle smaller without becoming closed off — and the criteria I use to decide which relationships are worth maintaining   •What helped me stop feeling guilty about asking for support (especially for big projects like my book) and how to ask in a way that doesn’t feel weird or needy   •How I’m getting better at reading how my excitement lands with different people so I don’t come on too strong when I don’t mean to   •How I’m working on not giving away power through over-accommodation — giving benefit of the doubt, deferring too much, and being “too nice” longer than someone’s earned   ⸻   Follow Us: Website: ArtofCoaching.com Instagram: @coach_brettb X: @coach_brettb

I get asked about books constantly—what I’m reading, what actually stuck, and what shaped the way I think about leadership, communication, and the world over the past year.   In this episode, I walk through some of my favorite books of 2025—a mix of fiction and nonfiction—and talk about why they mattered to me, not just what they were about.   Some influenced how I think about people and power. Some sharpened how I see leadership and decision-making. Some didn’t fit neatly into a category but stayed with me long after I finished them.   This isn’t a “you should read these because everyone else is” list. It’s a look at the books that genuinely helped me learn, reflect, and see things differently—and why pulling from a wide range of material (not just leadership or business books) makes you sharper overall.   You can find a full, continually updated reading list at: www.artofcoaching.com/reading-list   And if you want the complete list of books mentioned in this episode, you can get it by subscribing to our newsletter at: www.artofcoaching.com/begin   ⸻   What You’ll Learn in This Episode   •Which books actually stood out to me in 2025—and why they stuck   •How fiction has influenced the way I think about people, conflict, and leadership more than some “business” books   •Why reading outside your field makes you more interesting and more effective   •How I decide whether a book is worth my time (and when I abandon one)   ⸻   Follow Us: Website: ArtofCoaching.com Instagram: @coach_brettb X: @coach_brettb

The holidays are supposed to be relaxing. Instead, they tend to throw you into rooms full of tired people, loaded topics, and conversations that go sideways fast. Everyone’s heard the advice to “just avoid certain people.” That works until you can’t. In this episode, I break down real conversational situations people actually run into during the holidays—family dinners, extended relatives, friends-of-friends, awkward small talk, emotional dumping, political grenades—and give you specific, usable strategies to handle them without blowing things up or walking away drained.   ⸻     What You’ll Learn in This Episode   •How to deal with people who drop strong opinions at the table without turning dinner into a debate club   •What to say when someone starts emotionally unloading on you and you don’t want to fix, argue, or absorb it   •How to interrupt long-winded talkers without being rude or awkward   •What to do when someone makes passive-aggressive comments and you don’t want to take the bait   •How to carry a conversation with people you don’t naturally click with (without forcing fake enthusiasm)   •Simple ways to pivot conversations when they start heading somewhere messy   •A few clean exit lines you can use so you’re not trapped in conversations longer than you need to be   ⸻     Follow Us: Website: ArtofCoaching.com Instagram: @coach_brettb X: @coach_brettb

One thing we work with a lot of organizations on is communication issues related to different generations, conflict resolution, and mismatched communication styles.    In this episode, we dive into what actually sits underneath those blowups: the human nature piece most people never address.   We get into why certain leaders lean on directness, why others interpret that same directness as an attack, and how those reactions are rooted in identity, power dynamics, and people’s early experiences with conflict.    We also break down what teams have to understand if they want to stop tip-toeing around each other and actually work well together.   This isn’t a “be nicer” episode. It’s a breakdown of the patterns that quietly screw up trust, clarity, and execution inside organizations—especially when different leadership styles or generations collide.   ⸻   What You’ll Learn (Practical & To the Point)   •How different generations and leadership styles interpret the same message in completely different ways.   •The human-nature drivers behind “direct” vs “too direct,” and why some people shut down or misread tone instantly.   •The difference between discomfort and actual conflict—and how teams get that wrong.   •Why your intent doesn’t matter if the impact keeps landing wrong.   •What leaders can do to adjust their style without watering down their expectations.   •How to get teams to stop personalizing everything and start focusing on the work.   •The specific conversations organizations need to have if they want fewer misunderstandings and fewer emotional landmines.   If you want to build teams that can handle tension, give clear feedback, and stop spinning out over tone, this episode will give you the frameworks and first principles you need.   For more hands-on help; reach out to us at [email protected]   Follow Us: Website: ArtofCoaching.com Instagram: @coach_brettb X: @coach_brettb

Expectations are the backbone of any team that wants to function without drama, drift, or constant hand-holding. Clear expectations create alignment. Maintaining them creates culture. But what happens when standards start slipping, people get complacent, and the gap between “what we said” and “what’s happening” widens? This episode digs into a simple, practical framework leaders in any industry can use to reset standards without defaulting to motivational speeches, generic pep talks, or more carrot-and-stick nonsense. If you’ve ever felt like you’re repeating yourself, wasting time, or dealing with the same issues week after week, this one will save you a lot of headaches. What You’ll Learn 1.⁠ ⁠Why people actually fail to meet expectations Not the clichés—the real psychological and environmental roots. You’ll also learn the first thing you must do the moment you notice standards slipping. Miss this step and everything else becomes noise. 2.⁠ ⁠How to create real accountability that sticks A concrete way to stop the cycle of reminding, repeating, and re-explaining. This section gives you a process to prevent déjà-vu problems that drain time, energy, and morale. 3.⁠ ⁠Tactics for telling who needs coaching vs. who needs to go You’ll walk away with informal, easy-to-use techniques that reveal who’s capable of growth and who’s holding your team back—before the situation becomes a major personnel issue. ⸻ If you’re a leader who’s tired of the same conversations, or you want a straightforward way to steady the ship and raise the floor of performance, you’ll get a lot out of this. For mentoring or deeper guidance: artofcoaching.com/mentoring For team in-services or customized training: [email protected] Follow Us: Website: ArtofCoaching.com Instagram: @coach_brettb X: @coach_brettb

Listen, we all have a lot of information coming at us and limited time to process it. Most days it feels like the world is set up to keep you confused, reactive, and chasing your tail. Between research, social media, “thought leaders,” news, and whatever’s happening at work and home, it’s easy to either shut down or grab at the loudest voice in the room.   This episode is about pushing back on that. I walk through a clear framework you can use to make better sense of the information you already have, so you can stay centered, make sharper decisions, and avoid getting bogged down by bullshit. It’s less about hoarding more content and more about training how you think, what you pay attention to, and how you use what you learn.   In this episode, we get into: •How to decide what “job” a piece of information is supposed to do for you before you give it your attention •A simple relevance filter to separate what matters right now from what can wait—or be ignored •How to look at the source and the incentives behind the message so you’re less likely to get played •A quick way to separate facts, interpretations, and emotions so you don’t get swept up in spin •Turning something you read or hear into a clean, practical takeaway you can actually use •Getting comfortable with “I don’t know yet” instead of grabbing the first confident-sounding answer •Testing new ideas through small actions instead of endless debate or overthinking   If you want to go deeper and apply this in your own life and work: •Main site and resources: www.artofcoaching.com •Upcoming live events and seminars: www.artofcoaching.com/events •One-to-one mentoring and support: www.artofcoaching.com/mentoring   Follow Us: Website: ArtofCoaching.com Instagram: @coach_brettb X: @coach_brettb

This episode dives into one of the most personal and difficult conversations Brett’s ever had — not with a client, colleague, or friend, but with his son.   It started when Bronson said he felt lonely — that the kids around him didn’t like to do hard things, didn’t stick with commitments, and quit when things got tough. What followed was a raw conversation about what it really means to live with conviction, pursue mastery, and stay committed even when it feels isolating.   Brett unpacks how this moment with his son connects to leadership, resilience, and the reality that walking your own path often means walking it alone — at least for a while. This isn’t about parenting advice or some polished motivational talk. It’s about what happens when you realize that the same lessons we try to teach others are the ones we have to keep learning ourselves.   ⸻   What You’ll Learn: •Why loneliness isn’t always a bad sign — it’s often proof you’re growing •How to reframe discomfort and isolation as signals of progress •The link between conviction, curiosity, and finding your real tribe •How to talk about hard truths with kids — or anyone — without sugarcoating •What it means to model lifelong learning instead of preaching it   ⸻ Related Resources: •Want help improving your communication, leadership, and decision-making under pressure? Apply for our 1-to-1 or small-group mentoring programs at www.artofcoaching.com/mentoring. •Join us for our next live Apprenticeship Workshop in Phoenix, AZ – May 2026, where we’ll dig into influence, power dynamics, and the practical side of human behavior. Details and registration: www.artofcoaching.com/events.   Follow Us: Website: ArtofCoaching.com Instagram: @coach_brettb X: @coach_brettb

Ever had a discussion that felt like quicksand? You’re trying to solve one thing, but somehow you end up defending three other things that weren’t even part of the original issue. The topic shifts, the tone changes, and before you know it, you’re stuck in a loop.   In this episode, Brett breaks down why some people constantly derail conversations—whether by changing the subject, twisting words, or moving the goalposts—and how to stop that cycle before it eats away at your time, energy, and credibility.   This isn’t about learning debate tricks or “winning” arguments. It’s about keeping conversations grounded in reality, staying emotionally regulated, and getting back to the real point instead of getting baited into someone else’s chaos.   ⸻   You’ll Learn: •Why arguments loop in the first place — and the psychological drivers behind conversational derailment. •How to identify the real issue beneath the noise so you stop reacting to symptoms and address the actual source. •Three simple tactics to regain control mid-conversation without escalating the conflict or looking defensive. •How to spot conversational manipulation early and shut it down before it snowballs. •When to walk away — and how to end a circular argument cleanly, without guilt or drama.   ⸻   Who This Is For: •Leaders who keep having the same meetings that go nowhere. •Couples or parents tired of every discussion turning into a blame game. •Coaches, managers, and business owners who deal with emotionally charged people and high-stakes conversations.   If you’ve ever left a talk thinking, “We just went in circles again,” this one’s for you.   ⸻   Related Resources: •Want help improving your communication, leadership, and decision-making under pressure? Apply for our 1-to-1 or small-group mentoring programs at www.artofcoaching.com/mentoring. •Join us for our next live Apprenticeship Workshop in Phoenix, AZ – May 2026, where we’ll dig into influence, power dynamics, and the practical side of human behavior. Details and registration: www.artofcoaching.com/events.