A Boundary Guide With Jessica Miller

In this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia and Kathleen are joined by Jessica Miller, clinical therapist and host of Mind Your Boundaries on YouTube. Jessica is a passionate boundary enthusiast who helps peacekeepers and people-pleasers set and maintain healthy boundaries with challenging family members. Together, they dive into the intersection of boundaries, emotional maturity, and sobriety—exploring how clear limits can protect recovery and build healthier relationships. Jessica, Sonia, and Kathleen explore questions like: How do you know when a relationship is draining and could threaten your sobriety? What’s the difference between a healthy boundary and punishment? When is guilt helpful, and when is it just old conditioning? They talk about estrangement, reconciliation, and why emotional maturity matters when setting boundaries with parents, partners, and friends. By the end of this episode, you’ll have practical tools to: Spot when resentment is building and use boundaries to keep relationships strong Tell the difference between a request and a true boundary (and why that difference matters) Recognize emotional immaturity—both in others and in yourself Reframe guilt so it stops running the show Use kind but firm language to hold your boundaries without turning it into a fight Sonia and Kathleen share real-life examples of what it looks like to set boundaries with family during early sobriety, including tough moments around holidays and parenting decisions. Jessica opens up about her own two-year estrangement with her in-laws, how they reconciled, and the peace that comes from replacing resentment with clarity. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks and resources. Episode Highlights [00:01:00] Why Jessica started Mind Your Boundaries and the gap she saw during the pandemic [00:03:00] Her personal journey from “too nice” peacekeeper to boundary-setting advocate [00:04:00] The painful estrangement with her in-laws that became a turning point [00:05:00] Reconciling after two years and doing it intentionally, step by step [00:07:00] Sonia and Kathleen share a family birthday story that triggered years of no-contact [00:09:00] Direct vs subtle boundaries—why sometimes you can just act instead of announce [00:10:00] Examples of modern parenting boundaries, like holding a baby to prevent unwanted kisses [00:12:00] Why someone else’s reaction to your boundary is about their maturity level [00:13:00] Healthy vs punitive boundaries and how they protect relationships [00:14:00] Sonia on how getting sober exposed just how few boundaries she had [00:15:00] Kathleen’s “24-hour rule” with her mom and how the body signals a limit [00:17:00] Early sobriety: why you can simply decline invitations without a big explanation [00:18:00] The difference between avoidance and capacity-based boundaries [00:19:00] Temporary breaks vs permanent cutoffs—and how to heal without an apology [00:22:00] Preparing mentally and emotionally before you set or enforce a boundary [00:24:00] Parenting examples: turning requests into real boundaries with action steps [00:26:00] The “sandwich” script formula: attachment → limit → benefit [00:27:00] Long-term benefit: resentment melts away and relationships feel lighter [00:28:00] Healthy guilt vs conditioned guilt—and why picking guilt prevents resentment [00:31:00] Hallmarks of emotional immaturity: deflection, lack of accountability, me-centered reactions [00:34:00] Self-check: spotting moments when we might be emotionally immature [00:38:00] Exercises for growing emotional maturity: journaling, voice notes, nervous system regulation [00:39:00] Jessica’s printable resource: 13 common sobriety boundary scenarios with scripts Jessica’s Links 🎥 MYB YouTube 🧰 Boundary Breakthrough Toolkit SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram  

In this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia and Kathleen sit down with bestselling author, storyteller, and coach Kristen McGuiness. Kristen is the author of 51/50: The Magical Adventures of a Single Life, her memoir about 51 dates in 50 weeks as a sober thirty-something navigating heartbreak, healing, and reinvention in Los Angeles. Today, she’s the CEO of Rise Literary and writes for outlets like The New York Times, Rolling Stone, and Marie Claire.  The conversation explores how Kristen created fun in early sobriety, what it took to spot red flags in dating, and how recovery can reshape your ideas of community, love, and marriage. She reflects on her wild twenties, the moment she decided enough was enough, and the role that therapy and 12-step programs played in helping her get sober for good. Kristen shares powerful insights about creating a social life without alcohol, redefining intimacy, and staying grounded through parenting, marriage, and running a seven-figure business. She opens up about what sobriety looks like for her today, how she maintains a spiritual practice, and why community remains at the heart of her recovery. Sonia and Kathleen also share their own dating stories and thoughts on marriage, space, and independence, making this a raw, real, and relatable episode for anyone rethinking what love and partnership look like in sobriety. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks and resources. Time-Stamped Highlights [00:01:00] Kristen introduces herself and shares her messy twenties before getting sober [00:03:00] Stories of nightlife, risky behavior, and the moment she realized things had to change [00:06:00] How therapy and 12-step programs became her entry point into sobriety [00:09:00] Family intervention: the moment her uncles offered her a lifeline [00:10:00] Kristen reflects on her fear of losing fun when she first got sober [00:11:00] Building a foundation of fun in sobriety—clubbing sober and creating costumes [00:13:00] Community as the secret weapon for staying sober and rewiring habits [00:15:00] Loving life sober—how recovery became about joy, not just abstinence [00:16:00] The origin story of 51/50 and how dating became a creative project [00:18:00] Combining therapy, shamanic healing, and deep self-work while dating [00:20:00] Redefining what she wanted in relationships and how her uncles modeled healthy masculinity [00:23:00] Growing up emotionally in recovery and feeling “ten years behind” [00:25:00] Realization that being single was the real adventure—not just a bridge to marriage [00:28:00] Reinventing marriage rules: two homes, more freedom, and honest conversations [00:30:00] Kristen’s perspective on ethical non-monogamy, open relationships, and independence [00:31:00] The role of sex in dating—when it’s meaningful and when it’s just fun [00:34:00] How intimacy has shifted in a long-term marriage and parenting partnership [00:38:00] Raising kids in sobriety and passing on values of service and generosity [00:43:00] Sobriety today—spiritual practices, community, and why meetings aren’t her mainstay [00:46:00] The importance of honesty, accountability, and spiritual tools in long-term recovery Kristen's Links Rise Literary website   SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram  

This episode of Sisters in Sobriety dives into sober sex, desire, and rebuilding intimacy without substances with guest Taylor McConnachie - Registered Psychotherapist, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, and Certified Sexologist, founder of Embodied Sexual Wellness & Psychotherapy in Simcoe, Ontario. Taylor specializes in holistic sex therapy that blends science, somatics, and the sacred to help people heal shame, navigate desire discrepancies, and cultivate empowered sexuality. The answer questions that many sober (and sober-curious) listeners ask: What actually changes about desire and arousal in sobriety? How do somatic practices, mindful masturbation, and body scans help you get out of your head and into your body? What if there’s a desire discrepancy in a long-term relationship—or you’re dating for the first time sober and can’t tell whether you’re attracted? And how do we redefine intimacy when performance anxiety, shame, or old narratives show up? They'll talk about clear, trauma-informed steps to rebuild sexual wellbeing: using body scans to notice sensation without judgment; practicing mindful masturbation to shift from performance to presence; understanding spontaneous vs. responsive desire (and why sobriety often tilts toward responsive); approaching erectile concerns and arousal blocks through reconnection rather than quick fixes; and reframing “frequency goals” to reduce pressure and increase genuine sexual satisfaction. Expect grounded strategies that integrate attachment, somatics, and practical communication skills. Taylor also shares personal and clinical stories—from her own journey with pelvic pain and endometriosis in a rural community with few resources to real-world examples of couples rediscovering vulnerability as the engine of intimacy. Sonia opens up about her “sober sexual debut,” fumbling, and learning to feel desire without the shortcut of alcohol. They'll unpack the grief for what sex used to feel like and the hope of what it can become with curiosity and compassion. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks and resources. 00:00:43 — Why sex therapy needs to be its own specialty (and why many therapists aren’t trained to talk about sex) 00:03:10 — Taylor’s path: pelvic pain, endometriosis, and building the practice she needed but couldn’t find 00:05:02 — When a couples therapist refers to a sex therapist (scope, overlap, and teamwork) 00:07:12 — Certification matters: what AASECT tells you about training and safety 00:09:18 — Only ~14 AASECT-certified sex therapists in Canada—why that scarcity matters for care access 00:10:20 — From CBT to somatics: helping clients get out of their heads and into their bodies 00:12:05 — “Science meets the sacred”: honoring evidence while rejecting rigid pathologizing 00:14:52 — Movement as medicine: reconnecting with arousal and erection through embodied practice 00:16:48 — Pleasure after shame: the first time a client truly feels what their body can do 00:18:07 — Sober sex 101: noticing more (and why that can feel overwhelming and beautiful) 00:20:02 — Mindful masturbation as foundational homework for sober intimacy 00:22:31 — Presence over performance: rewiring dopamine loops without substances 00:23:14 — Performance anxiety myths: why sobriety can improve erectile function 00:26:12 — Spontaneous vs. responsive desire—and why sobriety often shifts the balance 00:29:05 — Grieving the old high: processing disappointment when sober sex feels different 00:31:22 — Normalize the fumble: reducing shame to unlock curiosity and desire 00:34:18 — Emotional intimacy as the gateway to sexual intimacy (and how to build it) 00:37:05 — Practicing vulnerability in bite-size reps to increase safety and trust 00:40:02 — Desire discrepancy is common: moving from urgency to understanding 00:45:02 — Taking sex off the pedestal: experiments that reveal what’s really holding a relationship together 00:46:18 — First step if you feel disconnected: body scans, zero judgment, gentle repetition Taylor's Links 📸 Instagram: @embodiedsexualwellness 🌐 Website: embodiedsexualwellness.com SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram

In this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia and Kathleen dig into what it really takes to move from white-knuckling it to building a life rooted in calm, purpose, and—yes—joy. They’re joined by Cheryl Pasieka, author of Climbing the Stairs: My Journey from Addiction to Pure Joy, who shares how rehab, mindfulness, and a fierce commitment to self-care helped her stop hiding behind alcohol and start living on her own terms. Cheryl brings hard-won wisdom and practical tools for women in recovery. Across the conversation, they explore the fears that surface in early sobriety (What if I fail? What will people think?), how to set boundaries with negative energy, and what it means to choose sustainable joy over short-term relief. They touch on midlife purpose, rebuilding self-esteem, creating accountability, and why sharing your story can become someone else’s survival guide. Expect talk of relapse risk, root causes, nervous-system regulation, and using community, routine, and self-inquiry as anchors. Listeners will learn about reflective journaling (and the game-changer of rereading old entries), building a sobriety plan you revisit every six months, using mindfulness, yoga, and meditation to regulate stress, and creating accountability check-ins with trusted friends. Cheryl explains how to identify triggers, let go of resentments, and replace people-pleasing with “put your own oxygen mask on first.” You’ll also hear a refreshing definition of joy—a daily practice of noticing, gratitude, and positive reframing—that helps prevent drift into rumination or “I’ll just have one” thinking. Cheryl opens up about losing her mother, the spiral that followed, and the decision to go to rehab on Vancouver Island—phone surrendered, excuses stripped away. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our substack for extra tips, tricks and resources. 00:00 – Toronto roots, quick hellos, and Cheryl’s book intro, Climbing the Stairs 02:05 – “I wanted sustainable joy”—why grief and stress made moderation impossible 03:10 – Vancouver Island rehab: no phone, no running, just the work 04:12 – The first two years: fear of failure, meetings, yoga, and perseverance 05:06 – “What if I fail publicly?”—accountability and shame in early sobriety 06:02 – Why “just cut back” advice from some doctors misses the disease entirely 07:20 – Oxygen mask first: releasing people-pleasing and caring less what others think 08:05 – The quote that sparked the memoir and a surprising push from a psychic 09:18 – From private journaling to “maybe this can help one person” publishing mindset 10:45 – Telling family and friends—acceptance, boundaries, and letting some people drift 12:02 – Owning the past: divorces, resentments, and the freedom of self-acceptance 15:04 – Root causes: self-esteem, secrets, and climbing into the hole when alone 16:10 – Defining joy: reframing the day, gratitude, and the Tim Hortons “rain vs spring” story 18:02 – Calm as part of joy: taking things as they come instead of spiraling 19:06 – Protecting energy: stepping back from chronic negativity without guilt 21:02 – The morning stack: journal, meditation, movement, and a girlfriends’ daily check-in 22:40 – Weekly accountability now, occasional counseling as needed—right-sizing support 23:36 – “Planting my own garden”: self-care as not waiting for permission (or flowers) 24:12 – Midlife meaning: six-month reviews, giving back, quilting for folks in need 27:02 – The power of rereading journals: past you showing present you the way through Cheryl's Links www.journeytopurejoy.ca SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/sisters-in-sobriety/donations

Sonia and her guest, Dr. Jyothi Rao, are diving into the kind of whole-body wellness that actually sticks. Dr. Rao is the Medical Director of Shakthi Health and Wellness Center in Maryland, blending science and compassion to help people get to the root of what’s going on in their bodies. She has over 25 years of experience helping patients turn their health around—plus she’s the author of Body on Fire and Body on Fire Cookbook. They’re talking about the big picture: why your energy might still be low even after ditching alcohol, how stress and sleep are secretly running the show, and what small daily shifts can make the biggest difference. Expect an easy-to-follow chat about inflammation, gut health, circadian rhythm, and what’s really going on with midlife hormones. Dr. Rao breaks down what actually works when it comes to lowering inflammation, balancing blood sugar, and building the kind of energy you can count on. You’ll learn how light exposure affects your sleep, why protein timing matters, and how things like strength training, hydration, and even acupuncture can help your body feel like yours again. This isn’t about overhauling your whole life—it’s about finding simple, doable steps that build on each other. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks and resources. Episode Highlights (time-stamped) 00:00 — Why integrative medicine matters in sobriety 02:18 — Dr. Rao’s journey from conventional to functional medicine 05:12 — What “root cause” care actually means 07:45 — The inflammation–fatigue connection after alcohol 10:03 — Balancing blood sugar without overcomplicating meals 12:26 — Mitochondria and how to get your energy back 14:58 — Light, timing, and your circadian rhythm 17:40 — How to set yourself up for better sleep 20:22 — The gut–brain link and how it impacts cravings 23:05 — Staying hydrated without overdoing water 25:41 — Navigating perimenopause symptoms with lifestyle tweaks 28:09 — How stress affects your body (and how to calm it) 30:52 — When acupuncture can help 33:17 — Why strength training is a game changer in midlife 36:01 — Functional lab tests: worth it or not? 38:34 — What “liver detox” really means 41:10 — A real-life patient success story 44:02 — Habit stacking to make changes stick 47:19 — Building your own healthcare dream team 50:11 — Using wellness habits to help prevent relapse 53:28 — Quick recap: small steps, big wins Dr. Rao Links https://www.sarahkleinerwellness.com/all-free-resources https://mycircadianapp.com/ SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/sisters-in-sobriety/donations

If you’ve ever swallowed your anger to keep the peace, lost yourself in someone else’s needs, or swapped drinking for late-night snack binges, this episode is for you. On this week’s Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia is joined by Michelle Farris—psychotherapist, codependency expert, and anger management specialist—to talk about the deeper emotional work that comes with recovery. Michelle is known for her relatable approach and tools that help people stop people-pleasing, speak up for themselves, and finally build relationships that feel safe and real. What happens when we suppress anger in sobriety? How do we even recognize it if we were never taught what healthy anger looks like? Can we be codependent on someone who isn’t codependent on us? In this episode, Sonia and Michelle unpack what anger can teach us about ourselves, how codependency often hides behind “being nice,” and why food addiction recovery is often the next frontier in sobriety. Michelle shares practical strategies for identifying emotional triggers, creating healthy boundaries, and noticing the early signs of resentment before it explodes. You'll learn how to reframe your inner dialogue and develop self-talk that actually helps regulate intense emotions. Michelle also opens up about her own story—getting sober from food addiction at 20, what it was like dating someone in active addiction while working her own program, and the unexpected friendship breakup that made her realize she was still making other people her higher power, and how the desire to be loved can sometimes override our own sense of safety. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks, and resources. Episode Highlights (Timestamps) 00:00 – Meet Michelle Farris, psychotherapist and codependency expert 01:45 – Why she started teaching anger management (and how it cracked her open) 03:15 – What healthy anger actually looks like—and why it’s not yelling 04:40 – Stuffing your feelings vs. naming your hurt 06:00 – Why journaling is the safest place to let your rage out 07:30 – “Anger is rocket fuel”—how to recognize the heat before it explodes 08:45 – The connection between negative self-talk and emotional regulation 10:00 – What resentment really is (and why it’s sneaky) 11:20 – How suppressing anger can sabotage recovery 12:30 – Can you be angry and make amends? What recovery programs miss 14:15 – When anger turns inward—it often looks like guilt or shame 15:00 – Using mindfulness to stay present with your emotions 16:40 – Michelle’s story of getting sober through OA at age 20 18:00 – How food was her comfort and first addiction 19:30 – The sugar trap: what often happens in early sobriety 21:00 – Physical hunger vs. emotional hunger—how to tell the difference 22:15 – Why surrender, not control, is the key to food addiction recovery 23:30 – Trigger foods, writing a food history, and the power of structure 25:00 – Is it okay to wait before addressing food issues in recovery? 26:45 – Codependency 101: what it is, how it shows up, and why it’s a cycle 28:00 – Can you be codependent with a friend? (Michelle’s raw story says yes) 29:30 – Boundaries that work: why “I” statements are your best friend 31:00 – The people-pleasing trap: when kindness costs you your peace 32:15 – Flexible or codependent? The litmus test 34:00 – How to stop saying “yes” when your gut says “no” 35:30 – Michelle’s favorite recovery tools for emotional resilience 36:45 – The power of in-person meetings, especially post-COVID 38:00 – One last reminder: you’re allowed to take up space, feel your anger, and still be sober. Michelle Farris Links 🌐 Website: counselingrecovery.com 📺 YouTube: @MichelleFarrismft 📸 Instagram: @counseling_recovery SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/sisters-in-sobriety/donations

Ever feel like you're running on fumes, forgetting everything, and wondering if everyone else got the life manual you missed? In this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia and Kathleen sit down with Christina Crowe, a Registered Psychotherapist and founder of Dig a Little Deeper, to unpack how ADHD—especially when undiagnosed—can shape our mental health, relationships, and recovery. Christina brings her clinical expertise and lived experience with ADHD to this conversation. Together, they explore questions like: Could undiagnosed ADHD be fueling your anxiety or substance use? Why is it so commonly missed in women? They also talk about how impulsivity, self-medicating, and the pressure to hold it all together affect women differently—and how to spot the signs that something deeper might be going on. You’ll walk away with a better understanding of how ADHD can show up in everyday life, why it often gets mistaken for depression or anxiety, and what tools actually work. Christina gets personal, talking about her own late-in-life diagnosis, how her son’s journey opened the door to her own, and what it’s like to finally have words (and support) for what never quite made sense before. This is Sisters in Sobriety—the support system helping women change their relationship with alcohol and rediscover themselves in the process. For more resources, journal prompts, and mocktail magic, check out our Substack. Episode Highlights [00:01:00] Christina’s career pivot: from biotech to therapy [00:03:30] How her son’s ADHD diagnosis helped her see her own [00:05:10] The “invisible” nature of ADHD symptoms [00:06:45] Why so many people with ADHD turn to substances like cocaine, cannabis, or food [00:08:30] What makes ADHD-related substance use different [00:09:50] Why it’s not that hard to diagnose ADHD—if you know what you’re looking for [00:11:30] How substance use can mask ADHD (and delay treatment) [00:12:50] Christina breaks down the fear of taking stimulants in recovery [00:14:15] The difference between addiction and dependence (and why it matters) [00:16:00] The potato chip aisle: a metaphor for cravings and impulse control [00:17:45] Real talk about impulsivity and Amazon carts [00:20:30] Why women often get missed—or misdiagnosed—for years [00:23:00] SSRIs, dopamine, and feeling “stuck” [00:25:15] Hormones and ADHD: how estrogen impacts symptoms [00:27:10] Tips for navigating the health system when you have executive dysfunction [00:30:30] How to talk to your doctor about ADHD (and what might be getting lost in translation) [00:32:15] The three-legged stool: meds, therapy, and executive function support [00:34:25] How to find a therapist who truly gets it [00:36:00] The post-diagnosis “reckoning” (aka rethinking your entire life) [00:38:00] Mindfulness for ADHD brains—yes, it can actually work (with the right approach) Christina's Links 💡 Christina Crowe – Dig A Little Deeper, Psychotherapy & Counselling SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/sisters-in-sobriety/donations

This week on Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia and Kathleen delve into the intersection of intimacy, sexuality, and recovery. They’re joined by the incredible Carlyle Jansen—a sex educator, registered psychotherapist, and founder of Good For Her, Toronto’s groundbreaking sexuality shop and workshop space. Carlyle is also the author of Sex Yourself and Anal Sex Basics, and she brings over two decades of experience helping individuals and couples reclaim pleasure, navigate intimacy, and communicate more effectively. Today, she helps us better understand how our sexual selves evolve in recovery, and how we can reconnect with our bodies and desires—without shame. Together, we'll explore questions many of us have: What happens to libido after quitting substances? How do we navigate physical connection when sober sex feels so unfamiliar? What do terms like “responsive desire” actually mean, and why do they matter in recovery? This conversation helps deconstruct cultural shame, normalize sexual differences, and guide the path back to pleasurable living. Carlyle offers practical techniques like mindfulness, post-intimacy debriefs, and body exploration exercises. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks, and resources. Episode Highlights [00:01:00] Meet Carlisle Jansen: therapist, author, and founder of Good For Her [00:03:00] Carlisle shares her first experiences with sex, shame, and trying to orgasm [00:04:30] How a bridal shower kickstarted her career in sex education [00:06:30] Why she opened a retail shop alongside her workshops [00:08:00] The impact of growing up in a sex-silent household [00:10:00] How family history and shame shaped her relationship with sexuality [00:12:00] From workshops to therapy: how her work evolved [00:15:00] The most common issue in her practice: mismatched libidos [00:16:30] What changes sexually during addiction recovery [00:18:00] What is sexual anorexia? And how is it different from sexual numbness? [00:20:00] Trauma’s impact on sexual function and emotional availability [00:21:30] Internal Family Systems (IFS) and the parts that show up during sex [00:23:00] Why partners need to “start over” after sobriety [00:25:30] How to rebuild trust and emotional safety during physical intimacy [00:27:30] Navigating unpleasant emotions and sexual discomfort [00:29:30] How to rethink consent and boundaries post-recovery [00:31:30] Why kissing should not be a gateway to sex—and how to communicate about it [00:34:00] Debriefing after intimacy: how to reflect and stay connected [00:36:00] How to approach sober dating with clarity and boundaries [00:40:00] The role of masturbation in recovery and reconnection [00:44:00] Sex addiction, love addiction, and how to tell if it’s compulsive or just shame [00:47:00] Why we seek validation through relationships—and how to unlearn it [00:49:00] Tips to maintain long-term sexual connection with a partner [00:52:00] Spontaneous vs. responsive desire—and how to honor your sexual blueprint [00:55:00] Pressure kills arousal: why expectation ruins the moment [01:01:00] Expanding what sex means: intimacy without intercourse [01:03:00] Closing thoughts and how to keep showing up for your evolving self Carlyle's Links Links: carlylejansen.com TEDx talk: https://youtu.be/12d2o8e9cSU?si=3DcVS-4uiexd4cdC SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/sisters-in-sobriety/donations

What if the key to resilience isn’t eliminating stress—but embracing the right kind of it? This week on Sisters in Sobriety, we take on the fascinating world of cellular health, good stress, and regenerative wellness with Dr. Sharon Bergquist—a Harvard-trained physician, Yale biophysics grad, and pioneering force behind Emory’s Lifestyle Medicine and Wellness program. Dr. Bergquist is the author of the upcoming book The Stress Paradox, which challenges everything you thought you knew about aging, health, and how to build a body that thrives. In this conversation, we'll explore essential questions: What makes some stress beneficial—and how can we harness it without burning out? Why does modern comfort leave us more fragile, and how does plant-powered eating reshape the trajectory of chronic disease? They also explore what lifestyle medicine actually is, and how behavior change works from the inside out—at the cellular level. You'll come away with actionable insight into how to reframe stress, build long-term resilience, and slow aging with everyday tools like circadian fasting, thermal therapy, interval training, and plant-based nutrition. Dr. Bergquist explains the science behind dopamine recovery in sobriety, the myth of needing to do it all at once, and why stacking "good stress" needs to be a gentle. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks and resources. Episode Highlights 00:01 – Why Dr. Bergquist fell in love with the human body 03:20 – How seeing long-term patient outcomes changed her approach 05:15 – Why standard medical care misses the root cause of disease 07:10 – The five “good stressors” that help your cells regenerate 09:50 – The difference between toxic stress and beneficial stress 12:30 – Why numbing stress with alcohol creates a dopamine deficit 14:40 – How good stress like cold exposure gives you dopamine without burnout 17:20 – Over-optimizing for comfort—and how that backfires 19:00 – Pick your discomfort: cold, heat, exercise, or emotional growth 21:15 – What stress actually does to your brain and cells 24:45 – What we’ve lost in the modern world (hint: it’s not just screen time) 26:30 – Why we must reintroduce discomfort strategically 28:00 – The link between resilience and meaning 30:30 – Can you stack stress? Not in early sobriety 33:20 – Why sobriety itself is already a stressor—and that’s OK 35:10 – When and how to add other good habits without overwhelming yourself 37:50 – The science behind a plant-powered diet 40:15 – Why it's not “plants vs meat”—and the real stats on fiber and phytochemicals 43:00 – How to start eating plant-forward without going broke or gourmet 45:10 – The secret sauce (literally) that makes veggies taste good 48:05 – Debunking the protein panic: what research really says 52:00 – Why labels like “vegan” or “carnivore” miss the point 54:30 – The real takeaway: 1 in 10 Americans get enough fruits and veggies 56:00 – What Dr. Bergquist is building at Emory—and her vision for health systems 59:00 – Making lifestyle medicine mainstream and accessible Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/sisters-in-sobriety/donations

We're diving into part two of my sober dating diary—a real-life story that involves a cute date, an unexpected trip to a cannabis shop, and a bath bomb that turned into a major wake-up call. Dating after divorce is awkward enough. But when you're sober and your date casually suggests a relaxing soak in a "CBD" bath—you learn pretty quickly who respects your boundaries and who treats your sobriety like a buzzkill. I also share: The truth about "California sober" and why it doesn't work for me How people-pleasing and old patterns can sneak back in, even after years of sobriety Why I walked away and what it taught me about owning my sobriety, unapologetically   This story is for anyone who's ever compromised a little too much to seem “chill,” or needed a reminder that you're allowed to have boundaries—and you're allowed to walk away when someone crosses them. ✨ Your sobriety isn’t just “okay”—it’s powerful, it’s valid, and it deserves to be honored. 🔔 Like, comment, and subscribe for more stories from the sober dating trenches, plus tips, real talk, and radical honesty every week. 📬 Want more? Head to sistersinsobriety.substack.com for behind-the-scenes content, journal prompts, and community support. Highlights [00:00] First dates after divorce—applying mascara for the first time in years and meeting someone who doesn’t drink [01:10] When a park stroll turns into a casual detour to a cannabis shop (um, red flag?) [01:55] What “California sober” really means—and why it’s not part of my recovery [02:50] The power of “playing the tape forward” and how it helps me avoid old traps [04:00] He says it’s just a CBD bath bomb. I ask (repeatedly) if it has THC. He says no. [05:10] Ten minutes into the tub and I’m feeling like a human gummy bear [06:00] The bold print truth: Delta-8 THC. And a sinking feeling—literally. [06:45] Why I ignored my instincts to be the “cool girl”—and what it cost me [07:45] The moment I knew I’d never see him again (and why that mattered) [08:20] Sober dating isn’t just about tolerance—it’s about respect, celebration, and self-trust   Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/sisters-in-sobriety/donations