What Veteran Sellers Need to Know About Going from Referrals to Social Media

Here's the brutal truth about social media for sales: You're already behind, and it's going to be a grind. That's the reality Margarita from Dallas discovered when she called into our podcast. She's a seasoned realtor with 20+ years of experience, built her entire business on referrals and warm market relationships, and suddenly realized she needs to master social media to stay competitive. Sound familiar? You're not alone if you're staring at this digital mountain wondering how the hell you're going to climb it. But what makes Margarita's situation even more challenging and why her story matters to every sales professional reading is this: She's trying to compress 20 years of relationship building into a social media strategy that can compete with people who've been doing this for decades. The Tom Cruise Problem: Building Your Social Media Presence Takes Time Remember the first time you saw Tom Cruise in a movie? For me, it was Risky Business, some kid dancing around in his underwear. He wasn't the "last movie star" then. He was just another actor trying to make it. But here's the thing: Today, if you saw Tom Cruise walking down the street, you'd lose your mind. You'd want selfies, autographs, the whole nine yards. Why? Because over decades, he created millions of micro-interactions that built trust, familiarity, and fandom. That's exactly what you need to do on social media. You need to create fans of YOU. The problem is that most sales professionals want to skip the relationship-building phase and jump straight to the closing phase. They want to post a few listing videos and magically generate leads. That's not how it works. The Algorithm Rewards Consistency, Not Perfection Here's the part that's going to hurt: You need to post every single day. Not when you feel like it. Not when you have something "good" to share. Every. Single. Day. When you first start, your content is going to suck. Your first TikTok video? Three people will watch it. Your first Instagram post? Crickets. Your first LinkedIn article? Your mom and your real estate buddy will like it. I know because I've been there. We've all been there. The algorithms don't care about your feelings—they care about consistency. Think about it this way: You're not just competing with other sales professionals for attention. You're competing with Netflix, YouTube, TikTok, and every other form of entertainment for your prospects' eyeballs. The only way to win that battle is to show up relentlessly until people start recognizing your name and face. The Two-Bucket Strategy: Marketing vs. Lead Generation When you think about social media as a sales professional, you need to separate it into two distinct buckets: Bucket 1: Marketing and Brand Building This is about name recognition, familiarity, and staying top-of-mind. When people in your market are ready to buy or sell, your name should be the first one they think of. This bucket is about volume, consistency, and building your personal brand. Bucket 2: Direct Lead Generation This is about watching what prospects are doing, engaging with them directly, and converting social interactions into sales conversations. This bucket is about quality, relationship building, and moving people from digital relationships to actual appointments. Most people focus entirely on Bucket 1 and wonder why they're not getting leads. Others focus only on Bucket 2 and wonder why their content isn't reaching anyone. You need both working in harmony. Your 3-Pillar Content Strategy System Here's what you need to post consistently: Original Content: This is your unique perspective, your experience, your stories. If you're a 20-year veteran like Margarita, you have war stories that new agents don't. You've survived market crashes, interest rate spikes, and industry changes. Share that wisdom. Curated Content: Find industry articles, market reports, and news relevant to your prospects.

You think you're being helpful. Your clients think you're being annoying. Early in his career, Justin Goldstein learned this lesson the hard way. He admits, "I thought that picking up the phone and calling a client to talk about almost everything was the right way to go. I personally hate communicating over email. I'd rather just talk to you and figure it out."  The reality hit hard: clients viewed his frequent outreach as a burden rather than a benefit. Weekly update calls meant to show dedication became time-wasters in clients' minds. Daily email updates intended to demonstrate thoroughness turned into inbox clutter. This scenario plays out in sales organizations everywhere. Well-meaning professionals mistake quantity for quality, frequency for value, and availability for service excellence. Why Your Communication Style is Pushing Prospects Away The key to avoiding this trap isn't about reading minds; it's about understanding communication preferences. As Justin puts it, "You really have to understand what makes your clients tick, and you have to understand the nuances of how they work." This means recognizing that being understanding matters more than simply being helpful. Your client might prefer monthly check-ins over weekly ones, or end-of-week summaries instead of daily updates. They might prefer text over calls, or structured emails over casual conversations. The biggest mistake most sales professionals make is assuming their communication style is universal. It isn't. Effective communication emphasizes understanding and adapting to individual client needs. Reading the Room (and the Inbox) Here are the warning signs your communication style might be pushing prospects away: Response Time Changes: If a prospect who used to respond quickly starts taking longer or giving shorter replies, you might be overwhelming them. Meeting Resistance: Clients rescheduling frequently or suggesting less frequent meetings signal communication fatigue. Email Behavior: Prospects responding to every third email instead of each one indicates your messages lack sufficient value or arrive too frequently. Energy Shifts: Noticeably decreased enthusiasm in client responses means it's time to reassess your approach immediately. The Professional Sales Communication Framework Instead of guessing what works, use this framework to optimize your communication: Ask Direct Questions Early During your initial meetings, ask prospects about their preferred communication style: "What's the best way to keep you updated on progress?" "How often would you like to connect during this process?" "Do you prefer calls, emails, or something else for routine updates?" Start Conservative, Then Adjust It's easier to increase communication frequency than to dial it back after you've been labeled "high maintenance." Begin with less frequent touchpoints and let the client guide you toward more contact if they want it.  Make Every Interaction Count When you reach out, ensure it delivers value. Random check-ins and meaningless updates train clients to ignore your communications. Each email, call, or message should serve a clear purpose and advance the relationship or project. Focus on quality over quantity. One valuable update weekly beats five pointless check-ins that add no value to the client relationship. Establish Communication Boundaries Be explicit about when you'll reach out proactively versus when they should contact you. For example: "I'll send you a brief update every Friday afternoon, but please reach out immediately if any urgent questions come up."  Clear boundaries create mutual respect and prevent communication chaos that frustrates both parties. The Business Impact of Getting It Right Getting client communication right builds trust. When clients see that you respect their time and communication preferences, they're more likely to:

Here's a question that'll keep you up at night: What do you do when your emotions are sabotaging your sales performance? That's the exact challenge posed by Kurt O'Donnell and the sales team from Joyland Roofing in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania. They're crushing it—doing $10 million in revenue with individual reps generating $2 million each—but they identified a critical weakness that could derail their ambitious goal of hitting $100 million in 10 years. Kurt put it perfectly: "We need to actually learn how to read ourselves better and just be consistent. Emotionally consistent, even when everything else can heave around us. How do I show up at the door and be that consultant... and not just kind of be desperate because I had a few bad calls?" If you're nodding your head right now, you're not alone. Emotional inconsistency is the silent killer of sales careers, and it's costing top performers millions in lost revenue. The Hidden Performance Killer: Your Emotional State Most sales training focuses on techniques, scripts, and closing strategies. But here's the brutal truth: Your emotional state in the moment of truth determines your success more than any other factor. Think about it. You can have the perfect pitch, flawless product knowledge, and ironclad objection handling skills, but if you walk into that appointment carrying the baggage from your last three rejections, you're dead in the water before you even ring the doorbell. Your prospects don't know about your bad morning. They don't care that the last homeowner beat you up on price or that your competitor just undercut you again. All they know is the energy you bring to their front door—and that energy determines whether they trust you enough to invite you in. The Compartmentalization Imperative The first skill every elite salesperson must master is emotional compartmentalization. Here's how to think about it: That homeowner you're about to meet? This is the only conversation they're having with your company today. They don't know about your other appointments, your wins, your losses, or your quota pressure. To them, you represent their entire experience with your organization. More importantly, their home is their biggest asset—the most valuable thing in their life. When they're considering a roof replacement or new windows, they're not just buying a product; they're making an emotional decision about protecting what matters most to them. Their emotional experience with you is more predictive of the outcome than any other variable. People buy you first, then they buy your product. They buy you because they feel like you care about them, that you listen to them, that you understand them, and that they can trust you. That doesn't happen if you show up desperate, distracted, or carrying emotional baggage from previous calls. Process Goals vs. Outcome Goals: The Mental Reset The difference between average performers and elite closers comes down to one thing: focus. Average performers obsess over outcome goals. They walk up to the door thinking, "I need to close this deal." When they've had a few bad calls, they skip the relationship-building and go straight to pitch mode because they're desperate for a win. Elite performers focus on process goals. They have a systematic approach: "I'm going to greet them this way, connect like this, ask these discovery questions, present like this, and ask for the business using this method." They trust the process because they know it works. When you focus on running your process perfectly, you give yourself the highest probability of getting the desired outcome. Sometimes the putts go in, sometimes they don't—but you ran the process every time. As one wise salesperson once said: "If you try to control the outcome, you're not going to get the outcome you're looking for. If you trust the process and trust yourself, you're typically going to get the outcome you're looking for."

The second quarter of 2025 delivered some incredible conversations on the Sales Gravy podcast. From discipline strategies that separate winners from wannabes to the psychology of selling that most reps completely miss, here are the five most powerful insights that can transform your sales results immediately. 1. Focus on Activity, Not Outcomes The Problem: Most sales reps get discouraged when they don't book meetings, causing them to change their approach daily. The Solution: Cynthia Handal, who runs high-performing BDR teams, revealed her game-changing mindset shift: "The outcome isn't to book a meeting. The outcome is to do the three hours of work." Her approach is deceptively simple but incredibly powerful: Time block your prospecting activities (she does 9 AM to 12 PM daily). Set a timer and don't stop until the time is complete. Focus on controlling what you can control—the work itself. Trust that results will follow consistent activity. This eliminates the emotional rollercoaster of good days and bad days. When you focus on process over outcomes, you build the discipline that creates sustainable success. 2. Get a ‘No’ Then Aim for a ‘Yes’ The Problem: Most salespeople chase prospects desperately, making them less attractive. The Solution: Mike Maples Jr., a Silicon Valley VC and former software entrepreneur, uses a counterintuitive approach to actively trying to disqualify prospects. The "go for the no" technique works like this: Start conversations by suggesting you might not be the right fit Use body language that shows you're willing to walk away Make prospects convince you they need your solution Qualify out aggressively those who don't value your advantage This approach leverages the psychological principle that people want what they can't have. When you're not desperate, you become magnetic.  3. Align Your Entire Organization's Message The Problem: Five sales reps with five different value propositions confuse customers and create internal friction. They need to be unified. The Solution: Lisa Dennis discusses that messaging alignment must extend beyond just the sales team to the entire organization. Her process includes: Involving the whole company in messaging rollouts, not just sales Ensuring customer success and support teams understand the same value propositions Providing discovery questions and conversation frameworks to salespeople Creating organizational congruence from marketing through delivery When everyone in your organization tells the same story, customers experience consistency at every touchpoint. This builds trust and reduces friction throughout the customer journey. 4. Trust Commands a 30% Premium The Problem: Salespeople focus on features and benefits while underestimating the value of trust. The Solution: Yoram Solomon's research that people will pay an average of 29.6% more to buy from someone they trust versus someone they don't know (not someone they distrust—just someone neutral). The trust-building behaviors that matter most: Listening instead of pitching Showing genuine care for the customer's situation Being attentive and present during conversations Making and keeping promises consistently Trust is worth dollars. 5. Get Your Math Right The Problem: Most businesses stay stuck in six figures because they're fundamentally undercharging for their service. The Solution: David Neagle, who has helped countless entrepreneurs break through seven figures, says the issue is usually mathematical, not motivational. His tips for confidently pricing right: Stop comparing yourself to the average—compare to the top performers Charge based on results delivered, not time spent Ask yourself: "If they get the same result, why can't I charge the same price?" Actually ask for the sale at your true value As David puts it: "It's hard to do $50,

Here's a question that'll make your blood boil: Why do most sales leaders spend their pipeline reviews asking about dollar amounts and close dates while completely ignoring whether their reps actually have real deals? That's the brutal reality I see in sales organizations every single day. Leaders are obsessing over MEDIC, BANT, and other qualification frameworks while their pipelines are stuffed with dead deals that will never close. Meanwhile, their forecasts are consistently wrong, deals keep getting pushed, and reps are burning time on opportunities that died months ago. If you're nodding your head right now, you're not alone. Focusing on surface-level qualification instead of true deal engagement is one of the most backward approaches to pipeline management I see today, and it's costing companies millions in missed forecasts. The Qualification Theater Problem: When Frameworks Become Fantasy Remember when everyone thought MEDIC and BANT were the holy grail of qualification? Sales leaders everywhere started drilling reps on budgets, authority, need, and timing like they were conducting a police interrogation. But here's what actually happens: Reps learn to check the boxes without understanding whether they have a real deal. They'll tell you they've qualified the budget, but they're talking to someone who has to "go talk to the boss." They'll say there's urgency and timing, but the prospect is waiting to hire an executive in a completely different department before making a decision. Traditional qualification frameworks are the opposite of real pipeline inspection. They're vanity metrics disguised as sales rigor. Here's the brutal truth: You can have a deal that checks every qualification box and still have a 2% chance of closing. Meanwhile, a deal that looks "unqualified" on paper might be ready to close tomorrow because the right stakeholders are engaged and moving forward. Why Most Pipeline Reviews Are Theater, Not Strategy The reason most sales leaders run terrible pipeline reviews is because it's easy. It requires zero investment in actual deal coaching, stakeholder analysis, or strategic thinking. Think about it: It's much easier to ask, "What's the budget?" than it is to dig into whether the decision-maker actually sees value in solving this problem. But here's what happens when you manage this way: You end up with pipelines full of zombie deals that look good on paper but will never close. Your reps get comfortable keeping deals in the pipeline because they've "qualified" them. Your forecasts become fiction because you're counting revenue from prospects who aren't actually buying. What Actually Matters: The One Question That Reveals Everything Instead of obsessing over qualification checklists, elite sales leaders focus on the one metric that actually predicts deal success: What's the next step? This isn't just another question—it's the ultimate deal quality detector. Here's why: Dead deals have no next steps. When a rep says, "They're going on vacation, so I'll call them in a few weeks," that deal is dead. When they say, "They told me to call back in a month," that's not a pipeline deal—that's a prospect. Real deals have committed next steps. When a rep says, "We're doing a technical demo with their IT team on Friday, and the CFO specifically asked to see ROI projections by Tuesday," that's a deal with momentum. Engaged prospects match your effort. If you're doing all the work—sending proposals, scheduling calls, following up—while they're giving you vague responses, you don't have a deal. You have a prospect who's being polite. The Three-Question Pipeline Inspection System When I'm inspecting pipeline quality, I use a simple three-question framework that reveals everything: 1. What's the Next Step? This is the deal-killer question. If there's no specific, committed next step with a date and stakeholders involved, the deal is stalled or dead. Period. 2.

Ben Hogan, who was arguably the greatest ball striker the game of golf has ever known, taught that if you wanted to improve your swing you should focus on the cause rather than the result.  This was good advice for golfers and brilliant advice for sales professionals. Because in sales, if you want to sell more it pays to become obsessed over your behaviors, techniques and processes rather than your outcomes.  Most Sellers Obsess Over Outcomes Most salespeople are focused on winning or losing individual deals. They get emotionally wrapped up in every prospect, every conversation, every close attempt. When they win, they're on top of the world. When they lose, they're devastated. But top performers? They think completely differently. They're not obsessed with any single deal. They're obsessed with the process that creates consistent results over time. This mindset shift is the difference between feast-or-famine selling and predictable, sustainable success. The Downside of Outcome Based Sales Goals Here's what happens when you're obsessed with outcomes instead of process: Every deal, every month, every quarter becomes life or death. You put all your emotional energy into individual prospects and hitting numbers which clouds your judgment and makes you act desperate. You take rejection personally. When someone says no, it's not just a business decision – it feels like a personal attack on your worth as a salesperson. You make poor decisions under pressure. When you need a deal to close to hit your number, you start discounting too early, chasing bad prospects, or making promises you can't keep. Your performance becomes inconsistent. You have great months followed by terrible months because you're riding the emotional roller coaster of individual wins and losses. You burn out faster. The constant emotional highs and lows are exhausting and unsustainable. Shift to Process Goals Process goals are different. They focus on the activities and behaviors you can directly control, not the outcomes that depend on factors outside your influence. Instead of "I need to close three deals this month," a process goal is "I will make 50 prospecting calls every day." Instead of "I have to win the Johnson account," it's "I will have four meaningful touch points with stakeholders at Johnson this week." Instead of "I need to hit 120% of quota," it's "I will follow my proven sales methodology on every single opportunity." Process goals put you in control. You can't control whether a prospect buys, but you can control how many prospects you contact, how well you qualify them, and how consistently you follow your process. Why Top Performers Love Process Goals Create predictable results. When you focus on the right activities consistently, the outcomes take care of themselves. It's like compound interest – small, consistent actions create massive results over time. Reduce emotional volatility. You're not devastated by individual losses because you know that if you stick to your process, the wins will come. Improve decision-making. When you're not desperate for any particular deal, you make better strategic decisions about where to invest your time and energy. Build confidence. Every day you hit your process goals, you build momentum and confidence, regardless of whether deals close that day. Create sustainable habits. Process goals turn success behaviors into automatic habits rather than things you do when you feel motivated. The Mathematics of Sales Process Goals Here's why process goals work: Sales is a numbers game, but most people focus on the wrong numbers. Average performers focus on: How many deals they close The size of individual deals Their closing percentage on active opportunities Top performers focus on: How many new prospects they contact daily How many discovery calls they conduct weekly How many proposals they deliver monthly

You know the drill. The quota clock is ticking, the pressure is mounting, and there's that relentless urge for a quick win. Every sales professional has felt that impulse to rush the process, to push for the immediate "yes," because, well, the numbers demand it. But here's the tough question you need to ask yourself: What if that very pressure is actively sabotaging your long-term success? What if chasing the fast buck is actually costing you the lucrative, lasting relationships that define an elite sales career and build a lasting book of business? As Sales Gravy Podcast guest Steve Pyfrom puts it: “Building relationships takes time and sales, teams need desperately to get off of this short-term win dynamic. The goal is long-term revenue for your company, lifetime value for the end user.”  Focusing solely on the quick sale burns through pipeline leads faster than you can replace them, leaving you on a perpetual hamster wheel of prospecting just to stay afloat. It's time to talk about the long game, because building real relationships is where sustainable revenue lives. Why Churn Is Killing Your Commissions Let's talk numbers. According to SimplicityDX, customer acquisition costs have increased by 222% over the last eight years, while customer lifetime value has remained flat. It's getting harder and more expensive to find new customers, making the ones you have incredibly valuable. Yet most salespeople treat customers like one-time transactions. They close the deal, celebrate briefly, then immediately move on to the next prospect. This approach is financial suicide. Customers who feel rushed through the buying process rarely become loyal advocates. When a customer feels pressured into a decision or perceives the sale as purely transactional, their loyalty is paper-thin. They're constantly looking for better deals, questioning their purchase decision, and jumping ship when problems arise. When a customer churns, you lose all potential referrals, upsells, and cross-sells they could have generated. You're back to square one, hunting for new prospects to replace the revenue you just lost, all while acquisition costs keep climbing. The Trust Equation That Changes Everything Most salespeople think selling is about convincing, but selling is about connecting. When you rush a prospect, you're telling them their decision-making process doesn't matter. You're saying your timeline is more important than their comfort level.  Real relationships are built on trust, and trust takes time. Think about your personal life. Your closest friends aren't the people who tried to fast-track the process. They're the ones who showed up consistently, listened without an agenda, and proved their reliability over time. The same principle applies in sales. The prospects who become your biggest advocates aren't the ones you pressured into a quick yes. They're the ones who felt heard, understood, and genuinely cared for throughout the entire process. The Compound Effect of Relationship Selling Consider Mary, a software sales rep who was in competition with 2 other software vendors for a deal with a manufacturing company. Mary's competitors immediately launched into aggressive pitches and discount offers to David, the CFO, hoping to close the deal quickly. Mary took a different approach. Instead of pitching, she spent two months understanding David's cash flow challenges and upcoming board presentation needs. She shared relevant case studies, introduced him to a supply chain consultant, and helped him think through his decision criteria. She never once mentioned her software. When David's team raised concerns about implementation timelines during their evaluation, Mary's competitors pushed back, insisting their solution was simple to deploy. Mary listened, then connected David with a similar CFO who had successfully managed a comparable rollout. That conversation addressed David's real concerns and kept Mary's soluti...

That's the question every sales leader, CEO, and HR department is wrestling with as AI tools flood the market with promises to automate everything from prospecting to closing deals. Meanwhile, salespeople are panicking, wondering if their jobs are about to disappear to some algorithm that can write emails faster than they can type "Dear Valued Customer." If you're losing sleep over this, take a deep breath. The fear is real, but it's also completely misplaced. Here's the brutal truth: AI isn't going to replace you. But salespeople who understand how to leverage AI absolutely will replace those who don't. When Robots Try to Sell It's Not Authentic Remember when email prospecting worked? When a well-crafted subject line could get you a meeting, and personalization meant more than just mail-merging someone's first name? Those days are over, and AI killed them in about nine months. Here's what happened: Marketing departments discovered they could use AI to blast out thousands of "personalized" emails that sounded human but weren't. They could fake voicemails using voice cloning technology. They could create sales sequences that felt authentic but were completely artificial. The result? Complete market saturation with fake outreach that destroyed trust across every communication channel. Humans Have a BS Detector for Fakeness Here's what these AI-obsessed companies don't understand: People have an incredibly sophisticated BS detector. We can sense inauthenticity from a mile away, even when the technology is nearly perfect. When you receive an email that sounds too polished, too perfect, or follows a pattern you've seen before, your brain immediately flags it as fake. When you hear a voicemail that sounds just slightly off—even if you can't pinpoint why—you delete it. But here's the real killer: Once people realize you were too lazy to write your own email or leave your own voicemail, they lose all respect for you. They think, "If this salesperson can't be bothered to put in the effort to reach out to me personally, then why would I want to do business with them?" The One Thing AI Can Never Do This is where the magic happens, and it's where your competitive edge lies. AI can write emails. It can analyze data. It can even fake phone calls (poorly). But it cannot engage in real-time, empathetic, synchronous conversation with another human being. It can't read micro-expressions during a video call. It can't pick up on the subtle hesitation in someone's voice that signals an unspoken objection. It can't pivot in real-time when the conversation takes an unexpected turn. Most importantly, it can't build the kind of authentic human connection that makes people want to buy from you instead of your competitor. The AI + Human Intelligence Formula Smart salespeople aren't running from AI—they're running toward it—but they're using it as a tool to make themselves better, faster, and stronger, not as a replacement for actual selling skills. Here's where AI excels in sales: Research and Preparation: AI can analyze a prospect's 10-K filing, research their competitors, and create discovery questions in minutes instead of hours. It can build detailed company profiles and identify potential pain points before you ever pick up the phone. Data Organization and Analysis: That timeline your manager needs for a customer service issue? AI can pull data from your CRM, email, and support tickets to create a comprehensive summary in seconds instead of the hours it would take you to compile it manually. Writing Enhancement: Most salespeople aren't great writers. Don't shoot the messenger. AI can help you craft better emails, proposals, and follow-up messages, but only if you edit them, personalize them, and make them authentically yours. The Holy Grail: Intelligent Prospecting Lists: The biggest opportunity is using AI to build high-quality prospecting lists. Imagine walking into the office and having AI presen...

Is there such a thing as natural sales talent? Are top-level sales professionals born that way? Do they possess a gift from God that powers their ability to close sales? On this Money Monday, I answer these age-old questions. For the Love of the Game When I was 9 years old, after going to the Masters tournament with my Dad, I cut a limb that was shaped like a golf club from a tree, dug holes all over our backyard, and started playing “backyard golf” with a wiffle ball.  I loved my little backyard golf course and played every day after school. One day though, my Dad, who had been watching me, said, "Why don't we just go play real golf?" My dad didn't know anything about golf. He didn’t grow up playing. But we went down to Walmart, bought some cheap golf clubs, and started chasing little white balls.  We played at a legendary course in Augusta called The Patch—a municipal course with hard dirt fairways and patchy greens but a super fun place to learn the game. Our game was terrible, and we never practiced or took a lesson. But I loved going out with my dad to the course, and we had fun! In high school, I started playing on the golf team. That might have been a turning point for my game if we’d had a real coach, but instead we had a math teacher who did not play golf assigned to babysit us. So, we were on our own, but we had fun. Those years playing on my high school golf team were a blast! In college, I continued to play golf for recreation—usually with my fraternity brothers. Golf was about going out, telling jokes, and drinking a lot of beer. I have so many fun memories from those days.   The Myth of Natural Talent Stole My Joy After getting out of college, I continued to play—mostly in business situations—and that’s when golf stopped being fun. I would golf with clients and peers who were so much better than me. It didn't make sense that they could hit the ball so well and I could not.  I would go out to the range and practice until my arms hurt, but I never got any better. It never occurred to me to take a lesson.  By my mid-30s I was so frustrated with golf that I started to believe something that would haunt me for the next 20 years: I convinced myself that people who could play golf well were just naturally gifted. And because I wasn't naturally gifted, I would never be good at golf. So I quit. For two decades, I didn't pick up a golf club. A Massive Mindset Shift Leads to a Comeback If you have read my books and listened to my podcasts you know that I'm a big horse person. I've been involved in equestrian sports since I was a kid. I've had formal coaching and training with horses. On horseback, I thought I was naturally gifted. I believed it was something that God had imbued in me. So I forgot about golf and poured my time and energy into horses. Eventually, though, my son got older and started playing golf. And being an equestrian at my age became more and more dangerous. A bad day on a horse means you're in the hospital in traction. A bad day on the golf course means you go to soothe your wounds with a cold beer in the clubhouse. So I picked up the sticks again. But this time, I sought out a golf coach. A pro who could help me learn how to play the game.  Starting over has been hard. It is difficult to learn new skills. But with lessons, I've gotten better. In fact, last week I shot my lowest score ever. Over the past two years of working on my golf game, I’ve come to realize how much the story that I kept telling myself about not being naturally talented hurt me and how much it stole from my life. That story cost me 20 years of enjoyment of a game I loved. The difference between my success with horses and my failure with golf wasn't natural talent. It was coaching and instruction.  The Power of an Open vs Closed Mindset Once you stop believing that you have to be naturally gifted in order to do anything well, you open your mind to new possibilities and amazing th...

"I can't do that." How many times have you said those four words when facing a challenging sales situation? It could be picking up the phone to make that intimidating cold call. It could be asking for the close with a high-value prospect.  If you say 'I can't do that,' guess what? You're absolutely right. You won't. But here's what’s surprising: The solution is simpler than you think.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ddjRyIHq6LA The Wisdom That Sounds Ridiculous (Until It Changes Everything) Thirty years ago, sales coach Steve Chandler heard a client say those familiar words: "I don't think I could ever do that." His response was four words that initially sounded absurd.  "Then don't be you." When Richard Fenton, co-author of "Go for No!," first heard this concept, he had two immediate reactions: "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard," followed quickly by "That's the most profound thing I've ever heard." Think about it. When someone says they can't speak in front of a thousand people, what's the typical advice? "Just be natural. Just be yourself." But if they’re someone who freezes up in front of crowds, why would they want to be that person in that moment? Although you can’t magically become a new person, you do have the power to choose which aspect of yourself shows up in any given situation. The Alter Ego Advantage of Top Performers Elite athletes and performers often adopt different personas to enhance their performance. When the game was on the line, Kobe Bryant would mentally shift into his Black Mamba persona, accessing a level of confidence and killer instinct that separated him from other players.  "The Black Mamba is something I created to get through the lowest points," Bryant explained. "It's a mindset, a way of approaching challenges." Beyoncé morphs into "Sasha Fierce" on stage—a fearless, magnetic performer—but off stage, Beyoncé describes herself as naturally shy and introverted. Strategic identity shifting is the ability to step into a role that's equipped for the task at hand.  Your 3-Step Transformation Process Ready to make it happen? Here's your simple framework: Identify Your Limitation What specific sales activity makes you feel uncomfortable or incapable? Be precise. Instead of "I'm bad at sales," identify exactly when you struggle: "I freeze up when asking for referrals from satisfied customers." Design Your Persona Who would you need to be to excel in that situation? Create a specific identity, such as The Referral Request Professional, who understands that satisfied customers want to help others access the same value they received. Make the Switch Before entering a sales situation that makes you nervous, consciously transition into your character. Use mental preparation (visualizing success), physical cues (changing your posture, adjusting your voice), or even simple props (a specific piece of clothing or accessory). Creating Sales Identities That Perform The beauty of the "don't be you" approach is that you're not manufacturing a fake personality. You're accessing different facets of who you already are or who you can become.  Here are some examples of identities to cultivate in sales: The Cold Calling Champion When you need to make prospecting calls, don't be the version of you who worries about interrupting people or who fears rejection. Instead, become the professional who understands that you're offering solutions to real problems. Lead with confident conviction—like you’re doing them a favor by calling. Channel the mindset of a sales rep who is genuinely excited about helping prospects discover opportunities they didn't know existed. Before each calling session, take just two minutes. Visualize this persona. How do they talk? What's their vibe? How do they sit? Then step into that identity. The Confident Closer When it's time to close the deal, don't get stuck in the part of you that feels pushy or uncomfort...