Don’t Let School Be the End of Play

A parent describes her past year as “brutal” and lists a series of traumatic life events. “I am not okay,” she admits. She says she doesn’t have the energy to remain unruffled when dealing with her kids and feels that she is failing them. While this mom is taking all the right steps to restore herself and find balance in her life, she wonders if Janet has advice about how to manage her needs and those of her children. “It’s not my magnificent kids’ fault,” she writes. “How do I make this time of failure less bad for my kids?” In this encore episode, Janet offers some insights and practical steps this mom can take to address her dilemma. Download Cash App Today: https://click.cash.app/ui6m/0karpg86 You can pre-order a signed copy of Janet's upcoming book BABY PERSON from Book Soup at: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/4xhJ2zZ⁠ Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠NoBadKidsCourse.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠JanetLansbury.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Please support our sponsors! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

When our kids won't go with the flow of the day and seem to push back on everything, it's often because they're sitting on feelings they can't easily express. In this episode, Janet responds to a note from a parent whose nine-year-old son won't respond to requests to shower, brush his teeth, do simple chores, or get dressed and ready for school. At the same time, this boy has been remarkably articulate in describing his feelings about being “a middle child," being replaced and losing his parents’ attention. Despite his parents’ efforts to make him feel loved, his hurt seems to surface as anger and resistance. Janet offers advice for addressing the situation and shares a revelation about her own nine-year-old daughter’s distress during a transition. Please support our sponsors! You can pre-order a signed copy of Janet's upcoming book BABY PERSON from Book Soup at: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/4xhJ2zZ⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What do we do when our kids seem stuck on repeat—like when they keep asking us the same question over and over or making the same demand? Even on our best days, their persistence can quickly wear us down. We respond once calmly, twice firmly, and by the third time all bets are off. We've lost our patience. Janet responds to a mom whose four-year-old repeats the same list of requests every morning. She explores why kids get stuck in these patterns and how getting everyone unstuck is simpler than we might imagine. Please support our sponsors! You can pre-order a signed copy of Janet's upcoming book BABY PERSON from Book Soup at: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/4xhJ2zZ⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode, Janet shares updates from parents whose concerns she has addressed in recent episodes — one about a preschooler’s escalating meltdowns at drop-off; another about a toddler pulling her own hair when overwhelmed; and a third about a two-and-a-half-year-old becoming increasingly fearful of seemingly random things. The parents’ follow-up letters offer a candid look at what helped, what changed, and what these parents discovered when they approached their children’s struggles in a new way. Please support our sponsors! You can pre-order a signed copy of Janet's upcoming book BABY PERSON from Book Soup at: ⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/4xhJ2zZ⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

A parent writes that her mother is constantly asking her bright 17-month-old to perform and grows frustrated when he doesn’t oblige. The truth is, we often think connecting with kids means entertaining them, getting them to laugh or, as in this grandparent's case, encouraging them to show us what they can do. Yet, real connection is much easier and more organic than that. It is about paying attention, listening, and genuinely taking in who our children are. Janet explores why asking children to perform can get in the way of deeper connection—and how doing less and trusting more  can foster more authentic relationships. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at ⁠⁠⁠JanetLansbury.com⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠NoBadKidsCourse.com⁠⁠⁠. You can pre-order a signed copy of Janet's upcoming book BABY PERSON from Book Soup at: ⁠⁠https://bit.ly/4xhJ2zZ⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

When school starts, our children’s days can quickly fill with classes, activities, homework, and screens, crowding out opportunities that are critical to their development and emotional health: play. A parent wonders whether full-time school means sacrificing the slower, more playful childhood she wants for her son. Janet reassures this parent that she can have both, explaining how we can continue to prioritize play, and why this matters.   Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at ⁠⁠JanetLansbury.com⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠NoBadKidsCourse.com⁠⁠. You can pre-order a signed copy of Janet's upcoming book BABY PERSON from Book Soup at: ⁠https://bit.ly/4xhJ2zZ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Many of us imagine late afternoons or evenings with our children as the perfect time to wind down and connect after a busy day. Unfortunately, this is often precisely when our children need to unload the day’s stresses. Which means that instead of enjoying restorative quality time together, we're faced with challenging behavior, high emotions, and discontent. In this encore episode, Janet unpacks some of the reasons why evenings can be so difficult for kids and what we can do to help them (and ourselves!).   Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at ⁠JanetLansbury.com⁠ and ⁠NoBadKidsCourse.com⁠. You can pre-order a signed copy of Janet's upcoming book BABY PERSON from Book Soup at: https://bit.ly/4xhJ2zZ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

A four-year-old melting down at school drop-off... A 21-month-old who's started pulling her own hair when she's frustrated or overwhelmed... Two very different situations—but the same missing piece. Janet explains why our instinct to soothe, distract, or push past our kids' hard feelings during transitions often backfires, and why doing the opposite—openly "going there" to explore the situational discomforts kids may experience, even when we can't fix them—is what actually helps kids feel less alone and more able to move through them. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠NoBadKidsCourse.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠JanetLansbury.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Please support our sponsors! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What do we do when our child erupts into a full-blown tantrum—suddenly becoming what author Loryn Brantz calls a "spicy nugget"? The award-winning author and illustrator returns to Unruffled to talk about her new children's book, "I Am a Spicy Nugget." Loryn and Janet unpack what actually happens in those moments—for the child, and for the adult trying not to make it worse—including what's happening for kids when they become overwhelmed, and why the best response may be to do less, not more, and let the storm pass. Loryn's book is inspired by her own experiences raising sometimes-spicy kids. Loryn's book "I Am a Spicy Nugget" is at: https://bit.ly/4cH7VgN Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠NoBadKidsCourse.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠JanetLansbury.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Please support our sponsors! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

A two-and-a-half-year-old has become increasingly anxious and fearful. She often becomes overwhelmed but can't explain what's wrong beyond saying she's scared, and she wants to be picked up or removed from the situation. Her mom wonders where comfort ends and reinforcing the fear begins: “How do we give her the comfort and security she clearly needs while helping her learn that she can feel scared and still be safe?” Janet explores what may really be going on and how parents can respond in a way that respects the feelings without exacerbating them. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠NoBadKidsCourse.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠JanetLansbury.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Please support our sponsors! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices