Calming Our Reactivity to Children's Irritating, Demanding Behaviors

In this popular encore episode, a parent writes that she’s overwhelmed by her two girls constantly demanding her attention, following her around their home and calling “Mommy! Mommy!” even if they are in the same room. “It’s driving me mad,” she writes. “It’s like a dripping tap. It is getting to the point where I just want to scream.” This mom notices that the girls don’t have this dynamic with their father. In fact, even if he is sitting beside them and she is in another room, they still call to her. Understandably, she feels drained and wonders if Janet can tell her what she’s doing wrong.Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.Please support our sponsors.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Janet is joined by Grace Lautman, a therapist and nutritionist who focuses on eating disorders, the conditions that can create and aggravate them, and how eating — or not eating — can be a symptom of mental health issues. She writes: "My hope has always been to provide accepting spaces for all individuals and bodies to explore and honor their relationships with food, body, and self." Janet and Grace discuss some of the early signs of eating disorders, and how our own relationship with food and body image throughout our lives can affect our children beginning in the early years. Grace's Website: https://www.honornutritioncounseling.com/Instagram: honor_nutrition_counselingJanet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.Please support our sponsors.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We all want our kids to enjoy thriving friendships, to feel appreciated by supportive peers. But that's not always case, and it can be heartbreaking to see the hurt, disappointment, and confusion our child feels when — for whatever reason —friends aren't treating them as they should. How do we support our kids' to navigate this? How much should we intervene? And what might intervening look like? Janet has an empowering perspective that she hopes will help, and she explains how it might apply in the cases of 4 different families who have recently reached out to her about their kids' challenging interactions with peers. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.Please support our sponsors.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

RIE expert Hari Grebler joins Janet to discuss her respectful and surprisingly simple ideas for helping our babies to sleep. Hari's positive approach begins with babies and applies to toddlers as well, ultimately building a foundation that serves our needs and those of our children throughout their lives.Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.Please support our sponsors.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

3 families reach out to Janet and ask, "How do I say it?" Listen to find out more!Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.Please support our sponsors.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

"I'm annoying, bad, stupid, not good at anything. I hate myself." It can be disconcerting to hear our kids say such unkind things about themselves, using harsh words that we've made a point not to use with them. Is this perfectionism? Low self-esteem? Passing feelings of vulnerability? What can we do to encourage our kids to stop bagging on themselves like this? How can we build up their self-image and self-confidence? Janet responds to notes from two concerned families, weighing in with encouraging advice and a point of view that can make all the difference.Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.Please support our sponsors.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Janet responds to three parents who are worried that their kids seem overly anxious and sensitive in social situations. Each parent has tried to be patient and trusting, but they wonder if their child's temperament may be abnormal, especially when compared to their peers. Aside from frustration and concern, one parent says: "I'm so lost... Sometimes I feel shame — not about him — but because I want to do fun things with him, but he always pulls back and retreats." Janet offers advice and a lot of encouragement.Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.Please support our sponsors.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Effective discipline can be confusing! It can feel like we're working so hard to be caring, empathetic, and patient with our kids—and not lose our temper—yet still, the challenging behaviors keep happening. And then when we try to set boundaries, our child has a meltdown that seems to last forever. What are we doing wrong? In this episode of "Unruffled" Janet explores three common reasons our attempts at respectful discipline can end up being ineffective. She suggests nuanced adjustments that can make all the difference. Her recommendations will not only help to simplify our approach (for the win!) but also help our kids to feel safe, seen, and supported, deepening our parent-child bonds.Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.Please support our sponsors.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This week Janet consults with the single mother of a 2.5-year-old who's concerned about how she's handling her daughter's behaviors. She describes her toddler as strong-willed, smart, intuitive, loving, sweet, and caring, but when she doesn't get what she wants, she loses it, throwing things, hitting, and screaming. This parent realizes that her daughter's behavior is developmentally normal and maybe even necessary, but it upsets her, as the model she was raised with was entirely different. "I grew up under the auspices of spare the rod, spoil the child," she says. "I don't want that for my baby. I will not be that kind of mom. She deserves better." Janet makes several observations as to how this parent is already achieving her goals, and offers advice for framing her toddler's behaviors in a manner that will make it easier for this mom to calm herself and continue nurturing their relationship in a positive direction. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.Please support our sponsors.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Bossiness. Toy taking. Unkind words. Hitting. Behaviors like these are particularly common between siblings but can happen with peers as well, and they're frustrating and disturbing for us to witness. How to we address them? Separate the warring factions? Issue a mandate? Negotiate a settlement? Perhaps just let it play out? In this episode, a parent writes that her four-year-old loves his 2.5-year-old sister dearly, but "he is insanely jealous, obsessed with having the same or more than her, whether it's food, toys, Easter eggs, crayons... It seemed like a phase, but it's become an obsession." This mom describes all the strategies she's tried to deal with her son's behavior, but to no avail. After considering the causes and conditions of this boy's behavior, Janet offers a respectful approach she believes help alleviate the situation for all. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.Please support our sponsors.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.