141: Why Conventional Trauma Work Fails - And What Works Instead | Irene Lyon

If you feel the need to always speak your opinions, you might be “addicted” to seeking the attention of others.In this episode, I unpack one of the most charged questions I hear: how to tell whether you’re self abandoning or actually accepting reality. There are subtle ways codependency shows up, even in people who think they’re being calm, spiritual, or evolved… especially when silence becomes a strategy.Over-speaking and under-speaking, and how both can be driven by the same nervous system impulse, are two common patterns I see again and again. We talk about anxious attachment, avoidant tendencies, and the “giving to get” dynamic that drains your sense of self.You’ll also hear why trying to get someone else to see your perspective often costs more than it gives, and how real boundaries begin with knowing what you want, not managing how others live their lives. This conversation is for anyone tired of performing self-control while feeling internally split, and ready to build self-trust that doesn’t depend on being understood.You’ll Learn:[00:00] Introduction[01:02] The difference between self-abandonment and letting others live their lives[02:14] Why “giving to get” turns both silence and speaking up into self-betrayal[03:21] The subtle ways codependency hides inside helping, supporting, or being reasonable[04:28] What’s really happening when you need someone else to see your perspective[05:46] How anxious attachment drives over-explaining without meeting your actual needs[07:12] When withdrawal and invisibility start to look like maturity while eroding self-trust[09:03] How to recognize when your voice is coming from control instead of self-attunement[11:01] Why real boundaries start with knowing what you want, not managing others👉🏻 Want to start a podcast like this one? Book your free podcast planning call here.Find more from Kelly:Instagram: @kellybroganmdWebsite: kellybroganmd.comJoin Kelly's monthly membership, Vital Life Project here.Get Kelly’s new book The Reclaimed Woman here.

What if the man you’re chasing isn’t your type… he’s your father, unfinished?In this episode I share a powerful somatic practice rooted in family constellations that helps disentangle the father wound from adult intimacy. If you’ve struggled with codependent relationships, anxious-avoidant dynamics, or an almost magnetic pull toward emotionally unavailable men, this episode is for you.Most importantly, I introduce a way to mature the internal father, integrating both shadow and strength, so your nervous system no longer confuses longing with love. This is about reclaiming agency, restoring emotional safety, and relating from adult self-possession rather than unconscious repair.If you’re ready to stop reenacting the past and start choosing from clarity, this episode opens a new door.You’ll Learn:[00:00] Introduction[01:08] Why attraction to unavailable men can feel obsessive, and how Eros pulls you toward unresolved wounds[02:14] How romantic partners become stand-ins for the father, and why projection creates suffering[03:05] How the father wound shows up as embodied unsafety rather than a story or diagnosis[03:52] What it means to create safety by maturing the internal father instead of fixing men[05:04] How a simple family constellations practice works through the body as truth[07:02] What you notice when you place father and partner side by side, and why discomfort matters[09:03] Why saying “you are not my father” releases trapped relational energy[11:02] How separating father from partner opens the possibility of adult, sovereign love👉🏻 Want to start a podcast like this one? Book your free podcast planning call here.Find more from Kelly:Instagram: @kellybroganmdWebsite: kellybroganmd.comJoin Kelly's monthly membership, Vital Life Project here.Get Kelly’s new book The Reclaimed Woman here.Go to the Juvent Store and use code KELLY300 at checkout to get $300 off your purchase.

Learn more about Kelly's Relaxed Woman System here.I didn’t think Dr. Joe Dispenza’s work applied to me — then his event cracked open an entirely new understanding of healing.What if the breakthrough you’re chasing doesn’t come from digging into your past, but from stepping into the future version of you who already made the shift?In this conversation with Dr. Joe Dispenza, I share what happened when I attended one of his in-person retreats. I went in assuming I wasn’t the target audience. I already felt “healthy.” But watching people transform without revisiting old wounds or tracing root causes cracked something open for me. Some changed in a single meditation. These weeklong immersions push people past the point where they normally stop, creating measurable shifts in their brains and bodies.We talk about why people stay stuck, the role of victim consciousness and secondary gain, and the emotional patterns behind health issues, money struggles, and relationship loops. And then we dive into abundance — the topic Joe resisted teaching — and why it’s really an issue of identity, not circumstance.Because once you understand how your internal state shapes your external world, the entire map of healing changes.You’ll Learn:[00:00] Introduction[07:14] Why one long meditation can upend the belief that healing requires visiting your past[08:38] What shifts when a weeklong immersive pushes you past your usual stopping point[21:14] Why Joe rejects the “guru effect” and keeps the transformation off himself[25:47] How volunteers and coherence groups expose the real engine behind this work[39:04] The moment Joe finally agreed to teach abundance after years of resisting[41:29] Why expanding abundance beyond money reshapes daily life[49:02] The traits that keep sick or financially struggling people locked in survival mode[50:35] How dropping excuses and worst-case thinking becomes the pivot to abundance[59:03] What opens when you feel your future before it arrives👉🏻 Want to start a podcast like this one? Book your free podcast planning call here.Resources Mentioned:Believing, Behaving, Becoming Abundance with Dr. Joe Dispenza | CourseConnect with Dr. Joe Dispenza:Instagram: @drjoedispenzaWebsite: drjoedispenza.comYouTube: @drjoedispenzaWatch Stories of Transformation with Dr. Joe Dispenza. Real people. Real change. Real stories of what happened when they applied the work.Find more from Kelly:Instagram: @kellybroganmdWebsite: kellybroganmd.comJoin Kelly's monthly membership, Vital Life Project here.Get Kelly’s new book The Reclaimed Woman here.Go to juvent.com and use code KELLY300 at checkout to get $300 off your purchase.

What if the very practices you’re using to “heal your nervous system” are actually keeping you stuck in freeze?In this episode I sit down with Irene Lyon, one of the most nuanced voices in the trauma healing and nervous system regulation space. Irene has spent decades studying somatic education, somatic experiencing, and early developmental trauma, and what she brings to this conversation is discernment… something sorely missing in today’s wellness culture.We explore the shadow side of popular practices like cold plunging, meditation, and cathartic trauma release, and why more sensation doesn’t always mean more safety. We talk about freeze response, pre-verbal and developmental trauma, and how well-meaning “trauma hacks” shared online can actually destabilize sensitive nervous systems.This is a conversation for those who feel they’ve “done all the right things” but still don’t feel settled inside themselves. It’s also for clinicians, parents, and seekers who want to understand what true embodiment looks like—beyond trends, performative regulation, and spiritual bypassing.My hope is that this episode offers a long exhale, and a return to what is simple, humane, and honest about healing.You’ll Learn:[00:00] Introduction[16:12] Why many chronic symptoms are nervous system survival patterns, not separate diseases[25:18] How trauma-release methods fail when a person can’t feel interoception[36:41] Why early and pre-verbal trauma requires a different path to safety and regulation[44:07] What goes wrong when meditation, catharsis, or pelvic work are done too soon[46:52] How meditation can reinforce shutdown instead of presence[53:24] Why cold plunging and breathwork can trigger freeze or collapse[1:10:36] How incomplete survival responses turn into freeze, collapse, and chronic illness[1:24:11] What must be in place before emotional or sensation-based healing👉🏻 Want to start a podcast like this one? Book your free podcast planning call here.Resources Mentioned:Andrew Huberman | WebsiteAndrew Huberman Control Your Vagus Nerve to Improve Mood, Alertness & Neuroplasticity | YouTubeStephen W. Porges Vagus Theory | WebsiteWaking the Tiger by Peter Levine | BookSomatic Experiencing | WebsiteDavid Berceli Trauma Release Exercises | WebsiteMolecules of Emotion by Candace Pert | Book or AudiobookFeldenkrais Method | WebsiteEMDR Therapy | WebsiteVipassana Meditation | WebsiteSpontaneous Healing by Andrew Weil | Book or AudiobookProgressive Muscle Relaxation | WebsiteLearn more about Irene's 21-Day Nervous System Tune Up here.Connect with Irene:Irene Lyon | WebsiteIrene Lyon | YouTubeIrene Lyon | FacebookIrene Lyon | InstagramFind more from Kelly:Instagram: @kellybroganmdWebsite: kellybroganmd.comJoin Kelly's monthly membership, Vital Life Project here.Get Kelly’s new book The Reclaimed Woman here.Go to the Juvent Store and use code KELLY300 at checkout to get $300 off your purchase.You can head to lotuswei.com and use the code Kelly15 for 15% off.

Access the Audacious Embodiment recordings here.What’s the real difference between erotic energy and sexual energy, and why has that distinction been so deeply confused?In this episode, I respond to a question that opens into embodiment, sensation, and what I call erotic artistry, not as sex or stimulation, but as vital force. I talk about how many of us live in functional freeze, moving through life on autopilot, and how practices that bring us back into sensation can interrupt dissociation and anchor us in our felt experience. This episode explores female embodiment, eros vs sex, and how prioritizing the senses—comfort, pleasure, movement, and presence—can awaken creative energy and aliveness in the body, moment by moment.You’ll Learn:[00:00] Introduction[00:01:02] The real difference between eros and sexual energy[00:02:46] Living in functional freeze turns life into autopilot and disconnects you from sensation[00:04:41] Prioritizing the senses moment by moment awakens creative energy and embodied aliveness[00:06:54] Intense sensation can be completely non-sexual and still bring you back into your felt experience[00:08:58] Choosing vitality over survival becomes a conscious, embodied practice rather than an ideaWant to start a podcast like this one? Book your free podcast planning call here.Find more from Kelly:Instagram: @kellybroganmdWebsite: kellybroganmd.comJoin Kelly's monthly membership, Vital Life Project here.Get Kelly’s new book The Reclaimed Woman here.

Learn more about Kelly's Relaxed Woman System here.What if women aren’t broken—but exhausted from living by values that don’t belong to them?Emotional suffering is often framed as pathology. But what if it’s information? What we call anxiety or depression can arise when our lived priorities are fundamentally misaligned with our inner values. When a life is organized around productivity, achievement, approval, or external validation, while deeper values point toward connection, intimacy, creativity, or pleasure, the psyche resists.For many women, this conflict shows up as burnout, resentment, guilt, or a persistent sense of futility. Not because something is wrong, but because self-abandonment has become normalized. Priorities are inherited, absorbed, and performed long after they stop feeding us.This episode explores women’s mental health through a different lens: symptoms as signals. Guilt as guidance. Exhaustion as feedback.When fulfillment is chased where it was never available, the system eventually collapses. Depression as a signal may be the moment a deeper truth insists on being heard.This is an invitation to examine your priorities and values, question what you’ve been taught to want, and consider what becomes possible when reprioritizing your life restores authentic expression.You’ll Learn:[00:00] Introduction[01:02] Depression reframed as the futility of living by priorities that cannot fulfill you[03:12] Resentment and frustration as early signals that your values and actions are misaligned[05:18] Self-abandonment as a learned strategy for belonging and approval[08:04] Burnout as the cost of organizing life around values that don’t actually feed women[10:02] The “hungry ghost” cycle created by chasing success, productivity, or validation[12:37] Guilt as an invitation to reorganize priorities rather than suppress discomfort[14:48] Alignment as the relief that comes from fully owning the choices you’ve already made[17:06] Reprioritization as a doorway to connection, intimacy, and renewed life force👉🏻 Want to start a podcast like this one? Book your free podcast planning call here.Find more from Kelly:Instagram: @kellybroganmdWebsite: kellybroganmd.comJoin Kelly's monthly membership, Vital Life Project here.Get Kelly’s new book The Reclaimed Woman here.Learn more about Kelly's Relaxed Woman System here.Go to the Juvent Store and use code KELLY300 at checkout to get $300 off your purchase.

Hear Amerly's first interview here, and listen to this related podcast on food boundaries here.What if your so-called food intolerances are really about your parents?In this episode, I sit down with my friend and mentor Amerly Centeno, a Family Constellation trainer and teacher whose work braids German New Medicine with ancestral dynamics. We trace my long, rigid history of cutting out gluten and dairy and lay it alongside the symbolic lens where those foods stand in for mother and father. From my Hashimoto's diagnosis to the first croissant I chose to eat in Europe after fifteen years without a molecule of gluten or dairy, I walk you through the inner shifts that made that experiment even possible. Tune in if you suspect your patterns with eating might be about much more than food.You’ll Learn:[00:00] Introduction[04:52] Why cutting out gluten and dairy can turn into an identity instead of a choice[09:47] What one bite of a “forbidden” food exposes about hidden rules in your body[12:36] How a small yes to pleasure can disrupt years of rigidity[14:52] Why feeling safer inside shifts how you digest the same foods[18:41] The reason symptoms can act as a biological solution when you can’t find one consciously[21:32] How early attachment patterns shape the way you take in nourishment[27:54] Why gluten and dairy often mirror the father and mother in the ancestral field[33:12] What changes when you stand as the adult child of two imperfect parents[40:52] How rigid health protocols can echo immature containment instead of true choice[44:10] Why some eating disorders reflect an unconscious loyalty to someone who didn’t get to live👉🏻 Want to start a podcast like this one? Book your free podcast planning call here.Check out Amerly's programs here and use code Kelly10 for 10% off.You can connect with Amerly and her work through her Website, and be sure to follow her on Instagram and Facebook.Find more from Kelly:Instagram: @kellybroganmdWebsite: kellybroganmd.comJoin Kelly's monthly membership, Vital Life Project here.Get Kelly’s new book The Reclaimed Woman here.Learn more about Kelly's Relaxed Woman System here.You can head to lotuswei.com and use the code Kelly15 for 15% off.

Learn more about Kelly's Relaxed Woman System here.What if relaxing around money was the very thing that made it flow?In this episode, I sit down with my friend, ally, and esteemed colleague Kate Northrup, a business owner and author of bestselling books about money and doing less, as well as the host of a top ranking podcast. I still remember exactly where I was when I first read her work on making money a love story and realized I was nowhere near ready to change my own unconscious relationship with it. That title alone has reverberated through my reclamation experience of wealth and even helped me eventually say out loud that I love money.When money has always meant scarcity or panic, being with it in the body can feel like either gripping tight or checking out completely. Tune in to learn how that shows up as lived patterns and how a different kind of nervous system safety slowly makes other choices possible.You’ll Learn:[00:00] Introduction[05:14] Why redefining money as an energetic “yes to life” shifts your entire relationship with it[11:07] How noticing your open versus closed responses shows you exactly where money triggers your nervous system[16:42] What happens when you identify whether you’re in protector mode or expander mode around money[19:14] How family patterns of scarcity and abundance imprint your adult money behavior[22:01] Why kids often mirror the money fears you’re not consciously expressing[27:33] How your inherited beliefs shape whether money feels chaotic or organized in daily life[34:58] The reason your capacity to hold money expands only when your body feels safe[41:22] Why recognizing your upper limit with “havingness” changes what you allow yourself to receive[55:49] What shifts when you see every financial exchange as human-to-human rather than system-to-entity👉🏻 Want to start a podcast like this one? Book your free podcast planning call here.Resources Mentioned:Money: A Love Story by Kate Northrup | BookDo Less by Kate Northrup | BookLearn more about Kate's Relaxed Money program here.Find more from Kate:Kate Northrup | FacebookKate Northrup | WebsiteKate Northrup | InstagramKate Northrup | PodcastFind more from Kelly:Instagram: @kellybroganmdWebsite: kellybroganmd.comJoin Kelly's monthly membership, Vital Life Project here.Get Kelly’s new book The Reclaimed Woman here.Go to the Juvent Store and use code KELLY300 at checkout to get $300 off your purchase.

What if the holidays you grew up with were never actually the real story?In this episode, I sit down with Lara J. Day, whose work around the winter season grew out of her own frustration with commercial holidays and her unexpected discovery of a practice that changed how she moved through the entire year. She brings a careful, deeply researched lens to where our modern traditions came from and how they were reshaped long before we inherited them.Old narratives begin to crumble when you hear how many of our rituals were engineered, borrowed, or rewritten. Fresh space opens when you realize there’s a quieter rhythm beneath the noise that most of us have never been taught to notice. The opportunity is choosing how you want to relate to this season without blindly repeating what was handed down. By the end, you’ll see why small shifts during this window can ripple through your entire year.You’ll Learn:[00:00] Introduction[03:50] Why rejecting commercial holidays can open the door to a more meaningful ritual season[06:26] What happens when solstice becomes the anchor that replaces the pressure of traditional celebrations[08:14] The reason skepticism about holiday stories can point toward a deeper desire for truth[10:05] How a practice discovered after becoming a parent reshaped an entire relationship to the season[13:47] Why understanding the origins of holidays changes how you participate in them[19:02] What the four-layer pattern behind modern holidays reveals about power, culture, and control[23:39] How aligning with seasonal rhythms shifts your inner world during the darkest part of the year[28:56] Why the curated version of Christmas was engineered to replace chaotic, older winter traditions[36:30] What ancient myths about reindeer, mushrooms, and midwinter spirits hint about cultural blending[44:05] How the 13-night practice uses nature, dreams, and synchronicity to map the coming yearResources Mentioned:The Battle for Christmas by Stephen Nissenbaum | Book or Audiobook13 Sacred Nights Oracle Deck by Lara J. Day | Website👉🏻 Want to start a podcast like this one? Book your free podcast planning call here.Find more from Lara:Lara J. Day | FacebookLara J. Day | WebsiteLara J. Day | InstagramLara J. Day | TikTokGet Lara's 13 Sacred Nights Oracle deck in time for the winter solstice here and use code Reclamation20 for 20% off your order.Find more from Kelly:Instagram: @kellybroganmdWebsite: kellybroganmd.comJoin Kelly's monthly membership, Vital Life Project here.Get Kelly’s new book The Reclaimed Woman here.Go to the Juvent Store and use code KELLY300 at checkout to get $300 off your purchase.You can head to lotuswei.com and use the code Kelly15 for 15% off.

How do I know if my sexual energy is healthy?Between attention-seeking and embodied confidence lives a messy gap. There is an old Madonna–whore tug-of-war that lives in many of us, and an archetypal maturation arc to reclaiming sexuality that won’t look the same for everyone.We start by noticing the judgments that flare and then gently trying on the characters we’ve rejected. Temptation to chase the gaze shows up, and it exposes the little parts that want to be applauded. The work is learning to relate to attention differently until the whole spectrum has a place. Press play to hear why developing a healthy relationship with your impulses changes everything.You’ll Learn:[00:00] Introduction[00:35] Why the question “Is my sexual energy healthy?” opens a doorway into your relationship with power[01:32] The difference between attention-seeking and embodied confidence in real life[02:44] How judgment toward “that kind of woman” reveals the parts of yourself asking to be reclaimed[04:09] What happens when you slowly step into the characters you’ve rejected[05:13] Why exploring erotic expression in movement can become a spiritual practice[06:02] The moment you realize your desire to be seen is a natural stage, not a flaw[07:08] How your relationship to the gaze evolves as you mature into self-sourced confidence[08:03] The reason skipping stages of feminine development keeps you stuck in judgment[09:00] Why trusting your impulses is the only true compass for authentic expression👉🏻 Want to start a podcast like this one? Book your free podcast planning call here.Resources Mentioned:The Spiritual Lessons I’ve Learned Through Pole Dance | BlogDear Lover by David Deida and Marianne Williamson | BookThe 3 Stages of Men & Women - Masculinity & Femininity | YouTubeFind more from Kelly:Instagram: @kellybroganmdWebsite: kellybroganmd.comJoin Kelly's monthly membership, Vital Life Project here.Get Kelly’s new book The Reclaimed Woman here.