A Couples Therapist In Couples Therapy With Tonya Lester

Tonya Lester, LCSW, is the author of Push Back: Live, Love, and Work with Others Without Losing Yourself and a Brooklyn-based psychotherapist and writer. Her essay, "Couples Therapist, Heal Thyself" was published in the Modern Love column in The New York Times, and she has been writing the popular Staying Sane Inside Insanity blog for Psychology Today since 2020. Tonya is a well known couples therapist, so it's particularly juicy and important that we're going to talk about struggles Tonya faced in her own marriage, and how she and her husband worked through them in couples therapy. Here's some of what we talked about: The conflict that landed them in couples therapy Being challenged by their couples therapist How Tonya and her husband changed their pattern The difference between a deal-breaker issue and a grappling issue Tonya's thoughts on secure attachment and attachment bonds How her own work as a couples therapist changed after being a client Show notes at https://anniezam.com/podcast/255  

My guest today did some significant healing at a psilocybin ceremony at a retreat center in Mexico. She takes us there and explains why she was able to heal in that environment in ways she hadn't before. You'll also hear how and why she does psychedelic work as a therapist. Dr. Cheryl Tien, PsyD, is a licensed clinical psychologist who helps individuals navigate grief, identity, and life transitions with a culturally attuned, trauma-informed approach. She specializes in psychedelic integration—supporting clients in making meaning of experiences with medicines like MDMA and psilocybin in a grounded, evidence-based way. Her work centers on safety, ethics, and translating profound experiences into sustainable change in everyday life. Here's some of what we talked about: Deciding to get licensed, and the pros and cons of that as a psychedelic facilitator Advocating for psychedelic medicine accessibility Grieving the loss of a former client to suicide Getting racially assaulted Having fears, visuals and nightmares as a result of stressful events Hitting the limits of talk therapy in her own healing Choosing to attend a psilocybin ceremony retreat in Mexico Why the medicine is 10% of the experience Her internal experience during the ceremony Doing a sweat lodge the following day How she decides when to do a psychedelic journey and what medicine she needs Being "spiritually hopeful" Her advice to people new to psychedelics healing generational trauma Show notes at https://rebeltherapist.me/podcast/254  

Deb Benfield has helped hundreds of women heal their relationship with food, eating, and their bodies in her 35-year career as a Registered Dietitian Nutritionist. She is a needed expert at the cross section of pro-aging and body liberation. Her new book, Unapologetic Aging, teaches us to navigate anti-aging and diet and wellness culture so we can enjoy our lives. As women enter perimenopause and menopause, we become more vulnerable to risk of disordered eating. This book is an antidote. I got an early copy of this book so I could prep for this interview. I want to get more copies for people I love. As I talk to a few friends about my conversation with Deb, they've admitted to me how much they struggle with their body image and how much they need to hear this conversation. This is a personal conversation about Deb's own journey with her body. Here we go. Here's some of what we talked about: Deb's journey from struggling with her body image to loving her aging body fully Seeing the harms of diet and "wellness" culture to her clients as a dietician Transitioning away from "body as project" thinking Perimenopause, Menopause and body-trust Why the mainstream messaging about belly fat is misleading Making body liberation her family legacy Show notes at https://rebeltherapist.me/podcast/253  

Before I jump in I want to invite you to a couple of things. If you've gone low contact or no contact with a parent or caregiver, this time of year can bring up a lot. I'm hosting a workshop for folks who are estranged from a parent or caregiver and want tools and support in creating your most meaningful and beautiful life. Every time I run this, folks experience belonging and a sense of hope. We'll meet online on Friday, December 5th from 1pm to 4pm Pacific. go to https://anniezam.com/estranged to register. No one will be turned away because of money. And for everyone, I'm hosting a year-end ritual to clear space in your life for what isn't needed for the new year and setting intentions and creating more space for what matters to you. We'll reflect on the year you've had and tap into the energy and values you want to make your next moves from. If you like internal family systems and parts work, you'll probably resonate with this. You'll have lots of time while we're together to reflect and feel into what's next. If you've joined me in the past for this, you'll notice this one will be less productivity oriented and more about anchoring into yourself. We'll gather online on Thursday, December 11th from 2 to 3:30 Pacific. This is a free gathering. Go to https://anniezam.com/ritual to register and get the link.   My guest today went through a huge personal transformation when she learned Internal Family Systems, or IFS. For example, the ways that she was incredibly productive and excelled at pretty much everything? For the first time in her life, that was not as celebrated. In fact it was something she was encouraged to stop doing. Alexis Roberson, licensed family therapist, provides psychotherapy and virtual parenting groups for families navigating the complexities of neurodivergent caregiving. As an IFS practitioner, she helps parents and children identify with their "parts" and become more of their true, authentic selves. You'll hear about her own healing and the way her life and work and family continue to evolve in the direction of freedom. Here's some of what we talked about: Finding Internal Family Systems right before COVID lockdown Switching to an IFS therapist as she learned IFS How Alexis's personality has changed since learning this model Opening up to more not knowing and playfulness in parenting and other relationships Using her body to check in with her parts and release tension throughout the day How she uses somatics in sessions with clients Having 2 autistic kids and the shifts their family made to meet their needs Getting back to prioritizing fun and pleasure Why the chapter she's in now of getting older is gold Show notes at https://rebeltherapist.me/podcast/252  

This podcast is about therapists and healers doing their own healing work. So now it's my turn to talk about some of my healing. Sarah Buino, host and creator of the podcast Conversations with a Wounded Healer interviewed me recently, and I'm sharing that conversation with you. I love the questions Sarah asks me and I just love Sarah and I know you will too. We talk about a pivotal psychedelic journey I went on, estrangement, authenticity, and how my own healing led to a recent career pivot. Here's some of what we talked about: My pivotal psychedelic healing journey My personal experience with estrangement and how I also help estranged people Learning about Internal Family Systems What Sarah and Annie both have experienced with unconditional love from our spouses Sarah's reflections on how Annie has changed and healed more since our conversation in 2021! Show notes at https://rebeltherapist.me/podcast/251  

Sonya Brewer is a trauma specialist and relationship expert who specializes in creative life and relationship design for overachieving trauma survivors and their partners. She helps trauma survivors feel more alive, connected and authentic so they can create the lives and relationships they truly want. In this conversation Sonya shares vulnerably about doing her own deep work, including the processes she went through to heal her childhood emotional neglect and other traumas. She also talks about how her own healing has changed her work as a therapist and healer. Here's some of what we talked about: Discovering Breath Work and somatics Finding the right therapist and sticking with her for decades! Becoming a healer and leaving corporate behind Healing and retrieving young parts of herself Understanding and healing from emotional neglect Feeling the help, love and healing of her ancestors The limits of talk therapy in accessing some of our deepest healing Insights on Couples and Complex PTSD (and an upcoming book!) Show notes at https://rebeltherapist.me/podcast/250

You're going to hear some courageous and vulnerable stuff right now. My guest today is a therapist who uses two methods to help her clients heal trauma. Her own healing journey started in an unexpected way. Helen Beynon is a somatic therapist and IFS-informed practitioner. She loves working with folks to transform trauma and build their capacity to navigate a tumultuous world. I met her when she was a teacher in my IFS learning. She's based in British Columbia. Here's some of what we talked about: How she found Somatic Experiencing as a client Doing deep emotional and physical healing she didn't expect Her personal experiences that led her to learn both IFS and Somatic Experiencing as a practitioner How she integrates the 2 methods How she now listens to and uses her anger rather than pushing it away Show notes at https://rebeltherapist.me/podcast/249

Before I jump in, I want to share a workshop I'll be running for people who are estranged or distant from their parent or caregiver and are needing support while they work to create a beautiful life and heal. This is a judgment free zone where you'll be with people who get it, and you'll learn tools to truly show up for yourself. Join me on Friday, August 1st. Go to https://anniezam.com/ to learn more and sign up. I can't wait to see you. On to today's interview! Today's guest shares deeply and vulnerably how she's done her own healing through big stuff, including childhood sexual abuse, realizing she's a lesbian while married to a man, and the death of her father. You'll hear about the beautiful process she guides people through, why she took a sabbatical recently, and why she's working with a shaman now. Meet Samantha Fox. As a sexuality coach, she works with women around the world to support them as they discover that they are not as straight as they might have thought. She's developed an experiential method called Unbox Your Sexuality that creates a monumental transformation. She's also an LMFT in New York. Here's some of what we talked about: How therapy failed her at one point Healing from childhood trauma Uncovering her lesbian sexuality Becoming a guide for other women in their coming out journeys Coping and growing in the loss of her father Taking a sabbatical Why she's working with a Shaman How she changed her work to feel more right for her The power of IFS and why she uses it with her clients Show notes at https://rebeltherapist.me/podcast/248

This podcast is changing because my work is changing! I'm still offering business coaching, and you can find out how I help therapists and healers with their businesses at rebeltherapist.me. AND I've stepped back into working with clients as a healer. I have been on a HUGE healing journey of my own that started with a guided psychedelic journey in January of 2023. I then received Brainspotting, first from my friend, Alicia Taverner. Hire her if you can. She's at *https://www.ranchocounseling.com/.* Then I received some parts work. I have gotten so much help from these modalities. They really get to the root of my trauma in a way that nothing else has. I felt this magnetic pull to learn these modalities myself and to start working as a healer again. I work with people who are estranged from a parent or caregiver and other folks who want to do some big healing. I also have a workshop coming up later this summer for people who are estranged from a parent or caregiver and are working to build their most beautiful life. If you're interested in checking out any of that, find it at AnnieZam.com. Let's get to today's amazing therapist guest who I adore. My favorite kind of practitioner is the kind that wouldn't ask their client to do anything they don't do themselves. I'm SO excited to introduce Jaclyn Tyson, a therapist and spiritual companion who helps people reconnect with their inner wisdom through spirituality, creativity, and healing practices. She weaves together approaches like Brainspotting, parts work, energy healing, and expressive arts to support personal and collective transformation. In our conversation, you'll hear about how she uses these modalities with her clients AND how they're central to her own growth and healing. Here's some of what we talked about: How Jaclyn processed her grief after her father passed and she knew she needed something beyond the tools she already had Jaclyn's mentorship with a Shaman How she brings Reiki, Brainspotting and IFS together all at once with her clients The rituals she does before and after sessions Show notes at https://rebeltherapist.me/podcast/247

My 2 guests today created and will co-facilitate The Hour Before Dawn A Program for Inheritors of Wealth with Family Ties to the Nazi Regime who want to take ancestral responsibility and create a more just world. (https://www.irisbrilliant.com/the-hour-before-dawn) Iris Brilliant is a money coach based in Berlin, Germany. She guides wealthy people who are confused or conflicted about what to do with their money to create a deeply liberating vision and plan for their wealth. She has recently shaped her career to fight fascism globally. Justine Epstein is a facilitator and mentor for people with inherited wealth who want to examine the histories of their ancestors and money, and take meaningful action to address these legacies. Her approach combines ancestral research, contextual history, political education, wealth redistribution and divestment, with embodied mindfulness, ritual, connection to the natural world, and creative expression. They both come from wealthy families. You're about to hear how they've done intense personal work AND justice work. I'm swooning on that combination and it's a combination of work I aspire to do. You'll hear me ask them some challenging questions. You know, the stuff people who have wealth don't usually talk about in public? They talk about that stuff with a ton of transparency. I think it's courageous. Here's some of what we talked about: Iris and Justine's journeys with generational examination and healing around wealth Navigating wealth and relationships Shame, guilt, and transformative healing and action Building their collaborative partnership Creating and facilitating their program: The Hour Before Dawn Addressing the Palestinian genocide Show notes at https://rebeltherapist.me/podcast/246