S2E4: RELIGION + ANXIETY

Silver Pride Project, growing older, and pandemic bacon. What does it mean to be an elder in the Queer Community? Why are the stories we tell about our experiences so important and why should we listen to others'? Join Portia Cantrell, the founder of the Silver Pride Project, and I as we talk about the power of intentional listening, passing on our memories, and establishing our legacy.

Inclusion + Exclusion + Random Lesbian Pool Parties.  Every superhero team has an origin story, and this one is ours. This episode has been a long time coming as the man behind the Breakdown curtain, Josh Miller, finally steps out to join me in an episode of Overthinking with Steph. Join us as we talk about how we met, how we bonded, and how we tell jokes to cope with our crippling trauma. Join us on my Patreon to listen to episodes of the Breakdown where Josh and I overthink the overthinking.

In 2015, Only Human was born out of a rock bottom experience where founder Bree Pear created the foundation for a movement of connection, inspiration, and betterment. In this episode, Steph and Bree get right into owning our struggles, finding happiness and inspiring others to do the same.

A little bit of real time processing in this episode. I get straight to the point talking about my social anxiety, religion and some childhood memories of my fear of being left behind.  Article on Religious Trauma Syndrome by Dr Marlene Winell: HERE Book Reference: The Anatomy of Loneliness by Teal Swan HERE

If we learned that there is shame in crying and expressing emotions, then we can unlearn it, and become "more than our history; more than our upbringing." These are hard conversations that we have to have with ourselves, and we have to wrestle with our discomfort and shame. In this episode, you can join me while I have this internal discussion about: Crying in the shower Feeling [or not feeling] your feels Going off the grid A new book I'm reading on shame An anonymous letter from a church friend Thanks for being here. Don't forget about the bonus part after the outro song.

Productivity, performing, and projects... Oh, my! I let my brain wander a bit as I think back on the days of old and ask myself WHY? Why was I kept busy? Why was I taught not to question anything? Why is our value tied to our productivity and output? And why the heck was I only complimented for putting on heels and makeup?!

Season 2... THE SOLO SEASON is here. In the middle of a global pandemic I figured it was time to start talking to myself. SAVING YOURSELF How do we save ourselves?  How do we save others? Can we save others? Trauma and indoctrination created a need to help everyone around me, foregoing personal healing and boundaries. Join me as I take a hard look at what it means to save yourself, and how we can’t live to save others. This is a difficult topic that brushes against triggers for a lot of people, myself included. Please be mindful of your reaction while listening, and give yourself a damn break if it feels too much. Song in the episode: "Miracle of Love" by Jamie Lawson

“STEPH, YOU’RE SUCH AN INTERESTING ENIGMA” ENIGMA - a person or thing that is mysterious, puzzling, or difficult to understand. Hey friends! Here is the 3rd episode from my conversation with Hillary. If you missed the first two take a listen here: Episode 1: Tinder Meetups + The Dinosaur Ride + Overthinking Makeouts Episode 2. Monogomish + Dating after Marriage + Cold Sores I have really been struggling putting this specific episode out into the world (meaning not just on my Patreon). It is pretty personal and I constantly feel the need to explain myself... Which seems impossible! If someone doesn't know my full story, the environment I was raised in, my first sexual experiences, or my firsts with being intimate and trusting others and how that was used against me, it seems like it just won't click for some people. I am learning that I don’t owe anyone an explanation, but I will offer a little glimpse into my brain meat in this post because it’s hard to get it all out there on the podcast. Things from our past shape us, but I believe that talking about it can help us sift through the complications and help us become more self aware individuals. So, here I am. Please read my full post HERE. Where I talk more about topics like: PERFORMING, FEELING SAFE, BEING A PIECE OF SOMEONES STORY VS. WHOLE STORY and answer the questions WHAT ARE YOU SO AFRAID OF?

Here it is... part 2 with Hillary Fortin. I overthink putting out very personal parts of my life, and I’ve realized that my self-talk just goes in circles. I want to be honest and share my beliefs, but I also want to protect my story and only share a small portion of it. I want to be relatable to someone listening, but I also obsess over making such a small part of my story relatable to EVERYONE. That’s impossible, and when I hit that dead-end, I slowly morph back into my old ways of people pleasing. I found myself there with this episode especially. I tried to listen to it as a straight person I know from church, and also as someone who is super on board with open relationships, and then just hope that they could understand my journey and have compassion to where I’m currently at. Hope you enjoy this very raw conversation about hard topics. 

Safe to say, I haven’t overthought putting out an episode this much since... EVER. Part 1 of 2 with Hillary Fortin. Being raised in a strict, conservative and religious environment, I’ve learned that there is extreme shame and anxiety surrounding topics such as sex, hooking up, making out, monogamy, polyamory, and STDs. You know, topics that “a good girl” should keep quiet about (or so I was told). I started this podcast as a way to combat this mindset by having the hard conversations that make us uncomfortable. As an adult, I still get a sick stomach thinking about discussing these very important and NORMAL parts of life. I’m tired of that shame, and I’m done hiding.