Ep 454 - Cat + Natalie + Joshua

This week we’ve got our fourth and final (for now) interview with the team from the Kink Collective! In this conversation we bring together the two founders, Joshua and Cat from Episodes 451 and 452, along with Natalie from last week, on Episode 453, for a beautiful look into how they run a business, live together, and are all romantically and sexually intertwined in various ways. It's a fabulous chat and we hope you enjoy it! The Kink Collective is a community and educational organization dedicated to helping successful people build successful relationships built on the philosophy of “people before kink” and the idea that who we are comes before what we do. You can learn more about The Kink Collective on their website! Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Natalie shares a ton of incredible insights about her sexuality, relationships, power exchange, and personal growth in this beautiful conversation. She’s been kinky her whole life and “officially” entered the kink scene when she went to college at age 18. She’s also been exploring various relationship models including polyamory for the last few years and is currently 25 years old and in a triad with multiple significant age gaps.  We’re blown away by Natalie’s intentionality, insight, and curiosity and we love how she sees life as one big experiment—and how embracing that mindset has helped her build fulfilling relationships and a deeper understanding of herself. As the Organizational Manager for the Kink Collective, Natalie fuels the mission of “People Before Kink” through strategic communication and community leadership. As a 2025 Northeast Regional Power Exchange titleholder, she works alongside co-founders Cat and Joshua to promote intentional exploration of sexuality and BDSM education worldwide. Professionally, she amplifies the collective's voice through dynamic social media content, event promotion, and ensuring every message is both approachable and community-centered. As a professional dominatrix and aspiring educator, Natalie combines integrity, clear communication, and confident leadership to expand the collective's reach while cultivating her own powerful footprint in the lifestyle. Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

The mid-nineties were a time of powerful transformation, self-discovery, and healing for Cat. After getting sober, she had a bit of a reckoning with her sexuality, first thinking she was a lesbian before realizing she was pansexual while at the same time discovering the world of kink and BDSM. She's now been exploring some form of non-monogamy for over 30 years and today she shares her incredible journey with us. Cat is a transformative leader in the kink, BDSM, and leather communities, with 30+ years of experience, mentorship and advocacy. Alongside partners Joshua and Natalie, she earned the 2025 Northeast Power Exchange Educational Title, celebrating her innovative approach to power dynamics as a tool for empowerment. Her journey began in San Francisco’s leather scene, where early mentorship ignited her passion for community building and personal growth. As co-founder of the Kink Collective, educator, and counselor, she bridges kink with personal development, healing around trauma and grief, and sexual wellness. Rooted in honesty, integrity, and transparency, Cat creates spaces where people are seen, valued, and empowered—whether exploring identity, grief, recovery or desire. Her work proves that profound healing happens when we dare to own our stories. Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

In this beautiful interview with Joshua he shares how his family, culture, and upbringing helped shape his ideas and approach to masculinity, sex, power, and intimacy. As he describes it, he was a habitual cheater who was seeking "power over" in his partnerships and the pattern was subconscious until he met his partner Cat, and everything started to change. Joshua’s story is a powerful reminder that our pasts don't define who we are today, and that we all hold the power to heal and repair ourselves, and our relationships. Joshua is a facilitator, educator, and advocate empowering individuals through self-discovery and intentional relationships. With 15+ years of experience, he guides people—especially men—in navigating modern masculinity, sexuality, and personal growth. As co-founder of the Kink Collective with his partner Cat, he designs programming that fosters confidence and authentic connection. In 2025, their work with partner Mistress Natalie earned them the Northeast Power Exchange Educational Title, honoring their innovative use of power dynamics for empowerment. Based in East Harlem, Joshua curates transformative experiences at The Sanctuary, a community space in his childhood neighborhood dedicated to identity, relationships, and conscious evolution. Their philosophy, “People Before Kink” drives his mission: equipping individuals with the tools to build self-authored, fulfilling lives. Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Sonia and Gabe were originally on the podcast back on Episode 193 and today we have the honor of having them back to talk about how their partnership has shifted and grown since then. Sonia and Gabe have been together for over two decades and a few years ago they intentionally removed the sexual component of their relationship. In our beautiful conversation today they share how they reached their decision and how they continue to deepen their connection, intimacy and commitment to one another without relying on sex. This conversation is really powerful and vulnerable and we hope you get as much from it as we did. Gabriel is also the director of a new adult animated educational series, called Welcome to Kinkyville, about kink and how to do it safely. The kickstarter campaign wrapped up back in 2021 and they've spent the last few years creating a pitch-pilot and it is incredible! You can check it out over at welcometokinkyville.com! Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Sonia and Gabriel have been together for over 19 years and have been practicing polyamory for about 10 years. They have a refreshingly honest conversation with us about where they are, how they've grown along the way, and the learning experiences that have brought them here. We also talk about what being queer and kinky (or not) means to both of them. We love this interview and hope you do as well.   Gabriel is also the director, producer, and editor of a new adult animated educational series, called Welcome to Kinkyville, about kink and how to do it safely. The kickstarter campaign started on August 10... Check it out, spread the word, and help us in supporting this type of amazing work!   Check out the full show notes here. Join Our Patreon Community! $10 Off - Online STI Testing https://www.normalizingnonmonogamy.com/  

We'll be back soon! 😘

Kalah has lived a life full of incredible experiences, partners, and adventures as well as a life full of love, intimacy, and pleasure… And she just turned 40 last year! While our conversation today definitely has plenty of wild and fantastical stories, Kalah’s whole journey is really all about love. Yes, it’s about loving others, but perhaps more importantly, it’s about figuring out what we want in life, following our own pleasure, being open to what life has to offer, and loving ourselves unconditionally.  Kalah has brought her ethic of love into her professional work, as well. As the founder of In Love We Trust, Kalah works with people who have mastered everything except peace in intimacy. Her clients are brave, full of love, ready to examine the patterns that keep them from being truly met, and willing to build relationships that honor their wholeness. She is a keeper of a human pleasure lineage - remembering that our pleasure is sovereign, that desire is wisdom, and that erotic energy is life force itself. Kalah is an alchemist of intimacy. She offers devoted witnessing, sacred discretion, and transformational containers - reimagined for liberation and love.  Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Naomi woke up to the fact that she’s polyamorous a few years ago, but looking back on her life she realizes polyamory is actually part of her identity and now everything makes so much more sense. Over the last few years Naomi and her husband have had to completely reinvent their entire relationship together to create something that works for both of them. Today, Naomi lives with her husband and her boyfriend, but it’s not quite that simple… Naomi is polyamorous while her husband considers himself monogamous and has another partner of his own. How do they do it? Join us today to find out! Naomi is also a life coach and has created a community dedicated to empowering polyamorous folks to create resilient relationships rooted in trust, connection, and freedom. You can find links to Naomi’s work on her Instagram! Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

In this fascinating interview, Ryan seamlessly weaves together his own personal journey with his work and research as he shares the origins of his expertise: three life-altering non-monogamous partnerships. One ended abruptly, triggering a severe depression that ultimately led him to recognize this work as his true calling. Ryan, a self-styled ‘Relationship Theorist’, offers articles and private sessions designed to guide singles, couples, and throuples toward lasting happiness in their connections. He reanimates established psychological and philosophical models to assist those navigating every stage of the relationship lifecycle—dating, relating, breakups, makeups, and beyond. Ryan is based in London and is getting ready to publish an extended collection of his articles. His Kickstarter to fund the professional editing of his groundbreaking book—which collates and expands on his articles about relationship etiquette and dating competence—is launching in June 2026, in sync with his own gritty, witty memoir detailing with brutal honesty the trials, triumphs, and tragedies of his adventures starting in March 2023. Ryan's background, philosophy, online tools, articles and availability are available on his website and you can support his Kickstarter here. Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing