E285: Tell Your Child They Have ADHD: Unpopular Opinions

"Doesn't everyone have a little ADHD?" Ugh. As a recovering people pleaser, I've spent a lot of my life keeping my opinions to myself. But I'm practicing speaking boldly, and I'm starting here: please stop saying everyone has a little ADHD. In this short episode, I'm sharing an excerpt from my upcoming book and talking about the difference between occasionally losing your keys and a persistent struggle that creates compounding problems in your everyday life. We'll also talk about why ADHD can feel like it's everywhere when you look around. When someone says "everyone does that", it can feel like your struggles aren't serious enough to deserve concern. But having a brain that works differently is hard, and you deserve to have that taken seriously. If you're wondering whether you have ADHD or preparing to talk with your doctor, I'm also sharing my free ADHD symptoms checklist. It includes real-life examples and space to write your own, so you don't have to remember everything in the middle of your appointment. If you've ever felt brushed off by the comment "everyone has a little ADHD", this conversation is for you. Find links to everything mentioned in this episode & read the transcript here: https://www.patriciasung.com/podcast/episode-287-stop-saying-everyone-has-adhd Pre-order your copy of my upcoming book: Motherhood in ADHD: Practical Strategies to Calm the Storm in Your Home, Heart, and Mind, available in print, e-book, and audiobook formats. Then fill in the form to request your pre-order bonuses (same linked page).

There are no trophies for making your life the most difficult. So why are we making things so hard for ourselves? My unpopular opinion today: take the easy way out. As a recovering people pleaser and perfectionist, I'm practicing sharing my opinions more boldly. And today's opinion is this one: you're already doing 700 things. Please make some of them easier. In this short episode, I'm sharing why my purse stays by the door and why my kids buy school lunch. We'll also talk about how I let my older kids take responsibility when they want to pack their own lunch, instead of adding another thing to my morning. When something feels difficult, ask yourself: "What's the easiest way I could do this?" It's not lazy. It's efficient. It's working with your brain. I'm also sharing an update on my book, Motherhood and ADHD, coming out in February. If we reach 500 preordered copies by October 13, I'll draw one winner on October 14 for a spot at my Houston retreat the following weekend. Lodging, food, and activities are included; all you have to do is get here. Submit your receipt at patriciasung.com/book, with one entry per copy pre-ordered. Come listen, mama. You're allowed to choose an easier way. Find links to everything mentioned in this episode & read the transcript here: https://www.patriciasung.com/podcast/episode-286-take-the-easy-way-out

Should you tell your kid they have ADHD? My unpopular opinion: YES. This is a hill I will die upon. We want to protect our kids. But when they're struggling and don't understand why, they start to believe they're the problem. They already know something feels different. Giving them a name for it helps them understand what's going on instead of blaming themselves. In this episode, I'm practicing speaking boldly as a recovering people pleaser and perfectionist. I'm sharing why I feel so strongly about telling kids about their diagnosis. We'll talk about using words that fit your child's age and maturity, explaining what helps their brain, and reminding them that there are lots of us out here who learn and do things differently. I also read a short passage from my upcoming book, Motherhood and ADHD. We don't need to pretend that feeling different is easy or cover it with toxic positivity. We can help our kids understand who they are and find support that fits. Plus, I'm sharing my book preorder details, including a retreat giveaway if we reach 500 preorders by October 13, and a reminder that October 1st is the last day to register for the October 16–18 Successful As a Mother weekend retreat. Come listen, mama. You don't need perfect words to help your child feel understood. Find links to everything mentioned in this episode & read the transcript here: https://www.patriciasung.com/podcast/episode-285-should-i-tell-my-child-they-have-adhd Links mentioned in this episode: Laura Petix https://theotbutterfly.com/ Her book, The Sensory Code, comes out next week! Super stressed and need a break? Come along on our 5th annual ADHD Moms Weekend Retreat, October 16-18, 2026 in the Texas countryside, located at the Happy Goat Retreat! "Honestly, this was one the best weekends I've had since becoming a mom. I've never felt so seen and understood. I would hop on a plane and go again. No hesitation! I'll follow y'all anywhere, moms." –ADHD Mama J.Q. I'll take care of all the details - you simply show up and enjoy. I take care of you while you learn how to take even better care of yourself, in a way that's sustainable for real momlife. Because you can take care of your family well when you're in a healthy place. It's time to get your ticket: www.patriciasung.com/retreat

"How do I reduce the number of doom boxes, doom drawers, and doom cupboards in my life?" –Mama T asks. Doom piles are the junk spots for things you don't know how to categorize or put away, so the junk just lives in the pile for months or years, as you shuffle it from one area to another until you get fed up! If your doom drawers, doom boxes, and mystery piles are quietly multiplying around the house, you are definitely not alone. In this episode of Your Questions Answered, I'm sharing a practical and compassionate approach to dealing with clutter when your ADHD brain gets stuck in overwhelm and decision fatigue. Instead of seeing doom piles as proof that you're failing, I'm reframing them for what they really are: unmade decisions. And honestly, that shift alone can take a little weight off your shoulders. Let's walk through my simple system for sorting doom piles into categories like things that already have a home, things that need action, and things you genuinely don't know what to do with yet. You'll hear real-life examples from my own home, encouragement to stop expecting perfection, and permission to create systems that actually fit your life instead of fighting against your brain. Plus, some "doom spaces" might actually deserve to exist permanently, so let's talk about why, and how having a plan removes so much of the guilt and shame tied to clutter. This episode hopefully feels like sitting with a friend who gently helps you sort through the chaos one basket at a time Find links to everything mentioned in this episode & read the transcript here: https://www.patriciasung.com/podcast/episode-281-how-to-organize-reduce-adhd-doom-piles Links mentioned in this episode: Christen Fackler's organizing method of cousins, coworkers, and family: http://www.iorganizeeverything.com/about-us.html It's time to take care of you, mama: A whole weekend for you to relax and get away from all your weighty responsibilities, to understand your ADHD mind in community with moms who get it. Picture it: You, me, and 13 other ADHD mamas hanging out all weekend with plenty of acres and your very own adorable tiny home for you to enjoy the peace and quiet, too. Time to relax! Get your ticket now for the 5th annual ADHD Moms Weekend Retreat on October 16-18, 2026, and I'll take care of everything once you arrive! https://www.patriciasung.com/retreat

You can do it all...but not at the same time. Every mom hits a busy season where you have no idea how everything is going to get done. Overwhelm is knocking at the door and you aren't sure where to start. I'm in that busy season with my upcoming book, and I'm sure you've been there (or are there now), too. Today I'm sharing an update on what's been happening in the last few weeks, and 6 things I'm doing to keep myself sane while I do it all. Plus I'm asking for help on who you think I should share the book with, so we can get the word out to as many moms as possible. Pick what helps and leave the rest. Big hugs! You can do this! Find links to everything mentioned in this episode & read the transcript here: https://www.patriciasung.com/podcast/episode-284-how-to-juggle-it-all-mom-adhd Links mentioned in this episode: How to Juggle Priorities: Decide Which Balls Are Glass and Which Are Plastic Article Episode 265: How Do You Keep Up with Everything as a Mom with ADHD? It's time to take care of you, mama. A whole weekend for you to relax and get away from all your weighty responsibilities, to understand your ADHD mind in community with moms who get it. Picture it: You, me, and 13 other ADHD mamas hanging out all weekend with plenty of acres and your very own adorable tiny home for you to enjoy the peace and quiet, too. Time to relax! Get your ticket now for the 5th annual ADHD Moms Weekend Retreat on October 16-18, 2026, and I'll take care of everything once you arrive! https://www.patriciasung.com/retreat

Why does one tiny question sometimes feel like a full-body emotional attack? In this episode, I'm walking you through a very ordinary moment that turned into a huge realization for me: my husband asking why my gas tank was almost empty. Not a fight. Not a disaster. Just a question. But internally? My brain immediately launched into anxiety, defensiveness, shame, overexplaining, and mental gymnastics before he even finished speaking. And honestly, I think so many of us with ADHD do this all day long without even realizing it. I'm sharing what came up for me emotionally, how old childhood narratives around being "careless" still show up in everyday situations, and the exact neuroplasticity exercise I'm practicing to change those automatic responses. We talk about slowing down your stress response, recognizing the physical sensations tied to anxiety, and intentionally replacing old shame-based beliefs with sturdier, kinder truths. Rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) does not have to rule your emotions! With time, I've shifted my responses so that I'm able to separate from roller coaster feelings. This episode is deeply personal, practical, and validating for anyone who feels exhausted from constantly preparing to defend themselves. You are not broken, Mama. Your brain learned patterns, and your brain can learn new ones, too. Find links to everything mentioned in this episode & read the transcript here: https://www.patriciasung.com/podcast/episode-283-rsd-when-simple-questions-feel-like-personal-attack Links mentioned in this episode: Fill in a virtual coffee chat request to ask more about ADHD Coaching with Patricia. You're not alone. "This is a chance to invest in yourself and build a community that will empower your future. Worth it!" –ADHD Mama D.B. Our 5th annual all-inclusive ADHD Moms Weekend Retreat is coming up October 16-18, 2026 just outside of Houston, Texas! And I hope you're coming! I'll take care of all the details - you simply show up and enjoy. Put it on your calendar now. Having a circle of moms who support you and believe in you matters. Register for your all-inclusive ticket here: https://www.patriciasung.com/retreat

I need your help. Have you ever tried to explain something life-changing… and somehow it still feels impossible to put into words? That's where I found myself after several coaching sessions that completely transformed how my clients saw themselves, their work, and their lives. One client untangled burnout and learned how to rest without guilt. Another stopped spiraling around work procrastination. Another finally separated her own inner voice from years of criticism she'd been carrying around for decades. And honestly? Sometimes even I step back and think, "How did we just do that in less than an hour?" In this episode, I'm sharing the analogy I use to explain what ADHD coaching actually feels like. If you've ever felt emotionally overloaded, mentally tangled, or like you're dragging invisible baggage everywhere you go, this conversation is for you. I talk about why ADHD brains need different strategies, how I help clients rearrange the "bags" they're carrying, and why so much of this work is about letting go of weight you were never supposed to carry alone. I'm not sure if the analogy fully encompasses how I want to describe neuroplasticity in ADHD coaching, but I would love to know if it makes more sense to you now that you've listened to this explanation. This episode is part practical ADHD strategy, part emotional unpacking, and part permission slip to stop carrying everything the hardest way possible. Find links to everything mentioned in this episode & read the transcript here: https://www.patriciasung.com/podcast/episode-282-how-neuroplasticity-adhd-coaching-feels-like-magic Links mentioned in this episode: Fill in a virtual coffee chat request to ask more about neuroplasticity or ADHD Coaching with Patricia. Super stressed and need a break? Come along on our 5th annual ADHD Moms Weekend Retreat, October 16-18, 2026 in the Texas countryside, located at the Happy Goat Retreat! "Honestly, this was one the best weekends I've had since becoming a mom. I've never felt so seen and understood. I would hop on a plane and go again. No hesitation! I'll follow y'all anywhere, moms." –ADHD Mama J.Q. I'll take care of all the details - you simply show up and enjoy. I take care of you while you learn how to take even better care of yourself, in a way that's sustainable for real momlife. Because you can take care of your family well when you're in a healthy place. It's time to get your ticket: www.patriciasung.com/retreat

"How do I reduce the number of doom boxes, doom drawers, and doom cupboards in my life?" –Mama T asks. Doom piles are the junk spots for things you don't know how to categorize or put away, so the junk just lives in the pile for months or years, as you shuffle it from one area to another until you get fed up! If your doom drawers, doom boxes, and mystery piles are quietly multiplying around the house, you are definitely not alone. In this episode of Your Questions Answered, I'm sharing a practical and compassionate approach to dealing with clutter when your ADHD brain gets stuck in overwhelm and decision fatigue. Instead of seeing doom piles as proof that you're failing, I'm reframing them for what they really are: unmade decisions. And honestly, that shift alone can take a little weight off your shoulders. Let's walk through my simple system for sorting doom piles into categories like things that already have a home, things that need action, and things you genuinely don't know what to do with yet. You'll hear real-life examples from my own home, encouragement to stop expecting perfection, and permission to create systems that actually fit your life instead of fighting against your brain. Plus, some "doom spaces" might actually deserve to exist permanently, so let's talk about why, and how having a plan removes so much of the guilt and shame tied to clutter. This episode hopefully feels like sitting with a friend who gently helps you sort through the chaos one basket at a time Find links to everything mentioned in this episode & read the transcript here: https://www.patriciasung.com/podcast/episode-281-how-to-organize-reduce-adhd-doom-piles Links mentioned in this episode: Christen Fackler's organizing method of cousins, coworkers, and family: http://www.iorganizeeverything.com/about-us.html It's time to take care of you, mama: A whole weekend for you to relax and get away from all your weighty responsibilities, to understand your ADHD mind in community with moms who get it. Picture it: You, me, and 13 other ADHD mamas hanging out all weekend with plenty of acres and your very own adorable tiny home for you to enjoy the peace and quiet, too. Time to relax! Get your ticket now for the 5th annual ADHD Moms Weekend Retreat on October 16-18, 2026, and I'll take care of everything once you arrive! https://www.patriciasung.com/retreat

"How do I reduce the number of doom boxes, doom drawers, and doom cupboards in my life?" –Mama T asks. Doom piles are the junk spots for things you don't know how to categorize or put away, so the junk just lives in the pile for months or years, as you shuffle it from one area to another until you get fed up! If your doom drawers, doom boxes, and mystery piles are quietly multiplying around the house, you are definitely not alone. In this episode of Your Questions Answered, I'm sharing a practical and compassionate approach to dealing with clutter when your ADHD brain gets stuck in overwhelm and decision fatigue. Instead of seeing doom piles as proof that you're failing, I'm reframing them for what they really are: unmade decisions. And honestly, that shift alone can take a little weight off your shoulders. Let's walk through my simple system for sorting doom piles into categories like things that already have a home, things that need action, and things you genuinely don't know what to do with yet. You'll hear real-life examples from my own home, encouragement to stop expecting perfection, and permission to create systems that actually fit your life instead of fighting against your brain. Plus, some "doom spaces" might actually deserve to exist permanently, so let's talk about why, and how having a plan removes so much of the guilt and shame tied to clutter. This episode hopefully feels like sitting with a friend who gently helps you sort through the chaos one basket at a time Find links to everything mentioned in this episode & read the transcript here: https://www.patriciasung.com/podcast/episode-281-how-to-organize-reduce-adhd-doom-piles Links mentioned in this episode: Christen Fackler's organizing method of cousins, coworkers, and family: http://www.iorganizeeverything.com/about-us.html It's time to take care of you, mama: A whole weekend for you to relax and get away from all your weighty responsibilities, to understand your ADHD mind in community with moms who get it. Picture it: You, me, and 13 other ADHD mamas hanging out all weekend with plenty of acres and your very own adorable tiny home for you to enjoy the peace and quiet, too. Time to relax! Get your ticket now for the 5th annual ADHD Moms Weekend Retreat on October 16-18, 2026, and I'll take care of everything once you arrive! https://www.patriciasung.com/retreat

"How do I reduce the number of doom boxes, doom drawers, and doom cupboards in my life?" –Mama T asks. Doom piles are the junk spots for things you don't know how to categorize or put away, so the junk just lives in the pile for months or years, as you shuffle it from one area to another until you get fed up! If your doom drawers, doom boxes, and mystery piles are quietly multiplying around the house, you are definitely not alone. In this episode of Your Questions Answered, I'm sharing a practical and compassionate approach to dealing with clutter when your ADHD brain gets stuck in overwhelm and decision fatigue. Instead of seeing doom piles as proof that you're failing, I'm reframing them for what they really are: unmade decisions. And honestly, that shift alone can take a little weight off your shoulders. Let's walk through my simple system for sorting doom piles into categories like things that already have a home, things that need action, and things you genuinely don't know what to do with yet. You'll hear real-life examples from my own home, encouragement to stop expecting perfection, and permission to create systems that actually fit your life instead of fighting against your brain. Plus, some "doom spaces" might actually deserve to exist permanently, so let's talk about why, and how having a plan removes so much of the guilt and shame tied to clutter. This episode hopefully feels like sitting with a friend who gently helps you sort through the chaos one basket at a time Find links to everything mentioned in this episode & read the transcript here: https://www.patriciasung.com/podcast/episode-281-how-to-organize-reduce-adhd-doom-piles Links mentioned in this episode: Christen Fackler's organizing method of cousins, coworkers, and family: http://www.iorganizeeverything.com/about-us.html It's time to take care of you, mama: A whole weekend for you to relax and get away from all your weighty responsibilities, to understand your ADHD mind in community with moms who get it. Picture it: You, me, and 13 other ADHD mamas hanging out all weekend with plenty of acres and your very own adorable tiny home for you to enjoy the peace and quiet, too. Time to relax! Get your ticket now for the 5th annual ADHD Moms Weekend Retreat on October 16-18, 2026, and I'll take care of everything once you arrive! https://www.patriciasung.com/retreat