E224: Self-Acceptance & Fair Play in ADHD Relationships with Tami Hackbarth

Recently, I discussed with 4 mom friends the point of Mother’s Day. Spoiler Alert: We all had differing opinions and none of us do the same things on Mother’s Day. While some dislike its baggage and some of us loved a day of being treated like a queen, we did agree that moms could all use a lot more care and rest. You deserve more than 1 day out of 365, mama. Because caring for yourself isn’t an optional activity.  At some point, your body or mind will make you take a break when you haven’t made space for rest, and usually at a fairly inopportune time.  Let’s discuss why caring for yourself matters (it’s not selfish!) and what real self care looks like.  Wanna rest and relax with me? My weekend retreat for ADHD moms is an excellent way to take care of yourself.  Plus we get to hang out! In real life! You’re invited! “Be True To You”, the weekend retreat for ADHD Moms takes place October 11-13, 2024 in Houston, Texas. You get to relax, turn off the hamster wheel of to-dos, and rest while I totally take care of YOU! This event is all-inclusive. That means that you don’t have to do *anything* once you check in. I’m taking care of your hotel, meals, and activities. Plus you’ll be hanging out with an awesome group of moms who get you! Having friends who have or suspect ADHD and have been there, done that, and probably forgot to buy the T-shirt are wonderful, and the kind of friends who like you just as you are, that’s priceless. Here's your official invitation to join a welcoming group of moms in person to rest, hang out together, build your support system, and learn to take care of yourself. Because you are worth it. Early bird registration starts TODAY through May 30th, so grab your ticket here: patriciasung.com/retreat.  And if you can’t make it this year, what will you do to take care of yourself?  Because you deserve care, my dear, no matter the day of the year.   Find links to everything mentioned in this episode & read the transcript here: https://www.patriciasung.com/podcast/episode-226-why-you-cant-skip-self-care-as-a-mom

Scared of meeting new people? Does small talk give you hives? If you want to make new mom friends, but aren’t sure what to do next, let’s hang out on today’s episode! Until recently, parties where I didn’t know anyone were scarier than any snake, clown, or ghost. As someone who’s been painfully shy my whole life, I never knew what to say or how to leave a conversation before it got awkward.  I was so awkward! Today I’m sharing my struggles with making friends, especially in new situations with new people, along with 8 practical tips for mingling and making new friends as a mother with ADHD.  Here’s how I’ve learned to navigate social situations and embrace vulnerability in order to lower my social anxiety and make new friends. Making friends is a learned skill and you can get better at finding your kind of people.  You weren’t meant to do life alone and your potential friends are waiting for you to say hi. Find links to everything mentioned in this episode & read the transcript here: https://www.patriciasung.com/podcast/episode-225-8-tips-for-making-new-mom-friends-when-you-have-adhd   Craving people who understand how you work instead of judging you??? Come hang out with me and other ADHD Moms in our twice weekly Successful Mama Meetups! Come for the support; stay for the community. Join here: https://www.patriciasung.com/meetup

When is it too late to get an ADHD diagnosis? For today’s guest, Tami Hackbarth, getting diagnosed with ADHD at age 53 was worth it. After years in the classroom working with copious ADHD children, Tami has plenty of strategies and tools to help those of us with neurodivergent brains.  We dove into Tami’s journey of self-discovery, self-compassion, and self-acceptance. She opens up about her struggles with sleep apnea, the impact of medication on her daily life, and the importance of Fair Play and self-care in neurodivergent families. We also talk about the value of open communication within families and the significance of guilt-free self-care.  Tami Hackbarth helps GenX women get their time and energy back so they can create the world they want to live in. She is a Life+Work Coach, Speaker, Author, Podcaster, Fair Play Facilitator, former teacher, and lifelong Californian. You can find Tami at www.tamihackbarth.com and on socials at: • Instagram – @tamihackbarth • Facebook – @TamiHackbarth100PercentGuiltFreeSelfCareCoach • TikTok – @GuiltFreeSelfCare • Threads – @tamihackbarth Let’s jump into a candid conversation of understanding, empowerment, and embracing the unique challenges and victories of motherhood and entrepreneurship in the context of ADHD. Find links to everything mentioned in this episode & read the transcript here: https://www.patriciasung.com/podcast/episode-224-self-acceptance-fair-play-adhd-relationships-tami-hackbarth  Looking for support on how to treat your ADHD beyond medicine? Grab my free list of strategies and ADHD treatments at patriciasung.com/beyond-meds.

We all know someone who has an emotionally immature parent.  The one who lays on guilt trips. The one who never shows up. The one who struggles with demons bigger than their kids. Maybe it’s you.   Maybe it’s your neighbor or your best friend. As a mom, it hits different.  You see the pain, the nuance, the struggle a little more clearly. And yet you still can’t fix the other person. But you can make changes in your life and for your own children. Today, I’m not holding back from the tough conversation of emotionally immature parenting and breaking the cycles of brokenness in your family.  I want you to know wholeheartedly that when you’re taking care of yourself, you ARE caring for your family, too. Self-care is the opposite of selfishness. By learning how to take care of yourself, you can teach your kids those same invaluable skills.  Listen to this week’s episode and let’s do the hard work of breaking and rebuilding cycles together. Find links to everything mentioned in this episode & read the transcript here: https://www.patriciasung.com/podcast/episode-223-building-a-stronger-healthier-adhd-family-for-generations Current parenting workshop series: Your Gifted Child! A donate-what-you-can fundraiser for my kid’s school. Register at patriciasung.com/gt

What “should” you have done already?   Finish your degree?  Pass your driver’s license test?  Make that doctor’s appt?  Left the house for school pickup? If you’re constantly thinking “I’m behind!”, this episode is for you.   Often it’s literal, as in, “I’m 20 minutes late to my appointment!” But it’s also in the big things, like you “should” have more kids by now or gotten that promotion.  You’re not alone! Feeling behind has come up in several discussions recently both in my Lighthouse Group ADHD Coaching, and in Successful Mama Meetups. What are the patterns showing up in this pervasive problem among women with ADHD? Here’s how to move forward both logistically and mentally. It’s time to take care of you, mama: A whole weekend for you to relax and get away from all your weighty responsibilities, to understand your ADHD mind in community with moms who get it. Drop your name on the waitlist for the 3rd annual ADHD Moms Weekend Retreat in October 2024, and I’ll take care of everything once you arrive!   Find links to everything mentioned in this episode & read the transcript here: https://www.patriciasung.com/podcast/episode-222-4-reasons-why-you-feel-behind

Do you ever feel like an emotional sponge, absorbing the feelings of others around you? Especially when you’re with someone you care about? Especially when you’re in certain parts of your cycle? Extra especially when they are agitated, frustrated, angry, or anxious? In this episode, we dive deep into understanding emotional regulation, stress management, and the unique challenges faced by moms with ADHD. From absorbing everyone else's emotions to navigating the stress ladder, we'll explore the struggles and I’ll offer practical strategies for finding balance and grace in the midst of the storm.  You CAN learn to hear your own signals and trust them, as well as build your stress tolerance to help you regulate during the day, in spite of the rest of your and your family’s stressors! And once you know how, you can teach your kids how to increase their stress tolerance, too.   Stop Medusa Mom in her tracks with these 10 tips to calm down before you lose your cool! Watch (or read) the free video here: https://www.patriciasung.com/medusa-mom.   Find links to everything mentioned in this episode & read the transcript here: https://www.patriciasung.com/podcast/episode-221-frustrated-easily-adult-adhd-meltdown-mood-swing

Sometimes you need a reminder that it’s okay to spend a little money on yourself, especially when the guilt of the last 3 wasteful impulse buys are still weighing on you. In this episode of Motherhood in ADHD, we're diving headfirst into why self-care is NOT selfish. I want you to know that putting yourself on the budget’s priority list is worth it - without guilt creeping in and talking yourself out of it before you ever get that much deserved break. Often that guilt (or fear of something else) also prevents you from bringing up the topic of money with your partner.  I’ll cover how you can prepare for a money conversation with your partner and set the stage so it’s as smooth as possible.  If even thinking about money conversations or putting yourself first gives you hives, this episode is a great first step toward ditching the guilt, as we dive into two uncomfortable conversations in today’s episode.   Find links to everything mentioned in this episode & read the transcript here: https://www.patriciasung.com/podcast/episode-220-spend-money-on-yourself-guilt-free-how-to-talk-to-your-spouse-husband-partner-about-the-budget     New workshop alert! Your Gifted Child: a 3 workshop series to help you understand your gifted child better, parent them well without losing your sanity, and learn the skills to help them be calm, well-rounded and successful. We'll talk about 2e, comorbidities, emotional regulation, and executive function skills.  Come to the live workshops OR listen to the private podcast version OR watch the replay.  In case you’re new around here, I'm a certified K-12 GT teacher and taught middle school for many years before becoming an ADHD Coach, so I’m using my years of experience teaching gifted & 2e kids to support my boys’ school GT program. It's donate-what-you-can admission! Sign up here: patriciasung.com/gt

Watching your child struggle is pretty much the worst. Not knowing what to do about it is more than icing on the doo-doo cake. I've got your back, mama! In this episode of Motherhood in ADHD, I dive into the rollercoaster of emotions and challenges of parenting a struggling child. When your child needs help, but you don’t know where to begin, this episode is for you. From dealing with overwhelming chaos to understanding the unique dynamics in a family affected by ADHD, here are my key tips to help you navigate the stress. So, buckle up, mama, because we're about to unpack the struggle bus and turn it into the ambulance you need for support during a crisis. In this episode, I’m sharing the five essential C's for helping your struggling child. First up, we zoom in on crisis management and understanding what’s on fire before taking action. Then, we delve into the critical aspect of self-care for moms because, let's be honest, we can't pour from an empty unicorn mug. We also explore caring for our kids, making sure they find their own spaces to shine and thrive. Plus, we emphasize the importance of building strong connections and boosting our kids' confidence, because every little victory matters. So, put on your driving gloves, grab a cup (or 40 oz travel mug) of coffee, and get ready to drive into a world of empathy, support, and practical advice on nurturing your struggling child. If you want to join us in person, we’re discussing parenting WITH ADHD in March & April in Successful Mama Meetups. Because among the chaos, you're already a fantastic mom who’s trying her best, and you're not alone in this bumpy journey. New workshop alert! Your Gifted Child: a 3 workshop series to help you understand your gifted child better, parent them well without losing your sanity, and learn the skills to help them be calm, well-rounded and successful. We'll talk about 2e, comorbidities, emotional regulation, and executive function skills.  Come to the live workshops OR listen to the private podcast version OR watch the replay.  In case you’re new around here, I'm a certified K-12 GT teacher and taught middle school for many years before becoming an ADHD Coach, so I’m using my years of experience teaching gifted & 2e kids to support my boys’ school GT program. It's donate-what-you-can admission! Sign up here: patriciasung.com/gt   Find links to everything mentioned in this episode & read the transcript here: https://www.patriciasung.com/podcast/episode-219-parenting-struggling-child-with-adhd-how-to-help-kid-in-crisis

It’s here again… that awful feeling: I’m behind. You swore this year you’d print those adorable Christmas cards with your family’s smiling faces in front of a glowing tree, but it’s December and you haven’t even started.  Your friends are sending you theirs, and just seeing them makes you feel guilty.  You’re scrambling to shop for presents online, wondering how you’re going to fit it into your budget.  And that damn elf on the shelf? Hasn’t moved for days.  Mama, the holidays are a stressful time for most people.  But the truth is, it doesn’t have to be quite this bad.  If you’re feeling behind, and like you can’t rest because there just.isn’t.time… this episode is for you.  We talk about: How to clean up after the holidays without feeling overwhelmed Why you feel “behind” and what to do about it Relearning how to rest, when adulting made you forget How to make time to recharge when there just isn’t any time There’s no law that says holidays have to be hard. Join me in choosing calm over chaos this year.  Find links to everything mentioned in this episode & read the transcript here: https://www.patriciasung.com/podcast/episode-218-holiday-self-care. The cure to your holiday hangover: quick & easy steps to get your home back to its normal level of chaos after the holidays! https://www.patriciasung.com/holiday-hangover   Looking for a quiet fidget to help keep you and your kids peaceful when life feels uncomfortable? Calm Strips are the way to go! Touch, scratch or trace the textured surface to regulate restless energy, increase focus, and remind yourself to breathe. Head over to CalmStrips.com and use the code MOTHERHOOD20 for 20% off orders of $20 or more.

Ever feel like making friends is a puzzle you can't quite solve?  You're not alone, mama!  In this episode of Motherhood in ADHD, we unpack the nuances of friendship with our guest Caroline Maguire.  Caroline is a leader in social skills development and the author of the book, “Why Will No One Play With Me?” – a handbook on how to communicate social skills training for your kids… and yourself! If you’ve ever felt like your ADHD impacts how you make and keep friends, this episode is for you.  We're talking about those oops-did-I-say-too-much moments and the I-have-no-idea-what-to-say ones.  Caroline answers questions from listeners like: What do I do when I’ve been ghosted? How do I reach out when I’ve been distant due to my ADHD? How should I approach talking to my friends, co-workers or bosses about how my ADHD affects my communication style? How do I help my kids have successful friendships without pushing them too hard? Our relationships shape our lives – but they’re not easy when you have ADHD. So let’s dig in and figure it out together.  Find links to everything mentioned in this episode & read the transcript here: https://www.patriciasung.com/podcast/episode-217-adhd-and-friendships-with-social-skills-expert-caroline-maguire What’s your ADHD Parenting Style?  Find out at patriciasung.com/quiz because you’re not your average mama bear! Looking for a quiet fidget to help keep you and your kids peaceful when life feels uncomfortable? Calm Strips are the way to go! Touch, scratch or trace the textured surface to regulate restless energy, increase focus, and remind yourself to breathe. Head over to CalmStrips.com and use the code MOTHERHOOD20 for 20% off orders of $20 or more.