Friends and Families as Counselors

We have all heard of May-December romances, suggesting an age related gap–sometimes of many years.  But is such a disparity doomed to failure, a fantasy in novels but a nightmare in real life?  Can two people overcome the hurdles life poses and those that family and friends may add or is there simply a limit on the differences that will work in a successful relationship? In this episode Alvean and Doug take on the question and given the differences in their own ages and stages of life offer some thgoughts on how to navigate this thorny question.  Fot a full transcript, click here:LL48-Does Age Matter?

Getting what you want does not mean you need to be in a contest, one that can have lasting and damaging consequences for your relationship. In this episode, Alvean and Doug talk about the ways in which you can arrive at an outcome that strengthens your relationship while achieving the agency that each of you desire.  For more and a full transcript, click here: LL47-Getting What You Want

In times of trouble we often turn to our friends and families to counsel us and offer their support.  But is this a healthy approach to take?  In this episode, Alvean and Doug caution their listeners to avoid the mistake of relying on friends or family members as therapists, and offer some insight into the ways that approach can have lasting and negative consequences.  For a full transcript, click here: LL-46 Friends and Family as Counselors

Sometimes the person we fall in love with becomes the person we wish we could change.  Is it them or is it us?  The answer really does not matter. Enduring relationships are built on acceptance. In this episode Alvean and Doug discuss the ways couples can create the trust and find acceptance with one another.  For a full transcript, click here: LL45-I love you Just the Way You Are

At some point in our lives most of ask the question, what is my purpose in life?  It is a natural question to ask but it can also lead to friction or dissension in a relationship as one partner pulls away or into themselves without explanation.  In this episode, Alvean and Doug talk about the reasons and the remedies for this existential crisis and how to navigate it without endangering the stable and strong pillars of your life:  For a full transcript, click here: LL44-Finding Purpose

Sometimes relationships can grow stale–one or the other partner begins to take the other for granted or just doesn’t have the feelings they once did.  Arguments, lack of spontaneity, even just day to day life can wear a couple down and cause them to ask themselves, is that all there is to us? Alvean and Doug talk about the reasons we can fall into this way of thinking and how to combat that and keep your relationship fresh and lively.  For a full transcript, click here: LL43-Is That All There Is?

Relationships can be hard at times and one of the hardest is when one of you falls ill.  Even when the illness is not too serious being a caregiver can be trying and when we don’t feel well it is hard to bring your best self to the relationship.  In this episode, Alvean and Doug talk about their own real experiences dealing with the serious illness of a partner and child and how one can cope with these challenges.  For a complete transcript, click here: LL41-In Sickness & in Health

Our brains are hard wired with a fight or flight instinct.  When faced with an adverse situation our reflexes automatically engage and that can cause a great deal of tension in a relationship leading to argument or abandonment. Alvean and Doug talk about this and how one can recognize the reaction and short circuit the emotions so that calm and rational behavior can be maintained.  For a full transcript, click here: LL42-Fight or Flight

Relationships are not a constant.  Things change over time and one of those changes comes with age.  But relationships do not have to grow old or stale with age, in fact they can become even better, with richer and deeper engagement. Alvean and Doug offer some insights on how to nurture the spark and claim the feelings that come with a mature relationship. For more and a full transcript, click here:

We all know what those first days of a new relationship feel like, the rush of hormones and emotions, the excitement and sometimes overwhelming feelings of love.  But what happens when the love isn’t there anymore or at least the intense feelings once felt have lessened?  In this episode, Alvean and Doug discuss the natural progression we experience and temper those with suggestions how we can not only maintain but foster a deeper and more meaningful connection to our loved one. For more, and a complete transcript, click here: LL39-After the Love