Ep. 393: Parenting Tune-up: Navigating the Seasons of Parenthood

Hey friends, today we’ve got something special for you: a bonus episode straight from the Pardon the Mess podcast!Every Monday, host Courtney DeFeo shares a short prayer to help you lift up your kids. This year’s series follows Christian Parenting’s brand new prayer journal, A Great Cloud of Witnesses. Each week highlights a biblical hero of the faith, paired with Scripture-based prayers for your kids. Here is a sneak peek into week one:This first week is all about Noah—a man of incredible faith and obedience. While the world around him turned away from God, Noah walked in righteousness. Building the ark probably looked foolish to everyone else, but Noah trusted God’s word even when it didn’t make sense. That’s the kind of faith we want for our kids: to listen to God’s voice over any others and walk confidently with Him even when it means standing apart.If you love this episode and don’t have your copy of A Great Cloud of Witnesses yet, it’s not too late to get yours! Go ChristianParenting.org to get your copy and follow along. And don’t forget to tune in to Pardon the Mess every Monday for more prayer episodes. Order A Great Cloud of Witnesses todayFollow Pardon the Mess on Apple or Spotify

What if the “Jesus” you’ve been following isn’t the Jesus of the Bible? In this episode of Let’s Parent on Purpose, Jay Holland talks with Shane Pruitt—National Next Gen Director for the North American Mission Board and author of the brand-new Bible study Not My Jesus: Reclaiming the Truth, Rejecting the Idols—about how cultural counterfeits of Jesus can creep into our homes, churches, and parenting.Shane shares powerful insights from decades in student ministry and parenting six children (four through adoption), along with stories of walking through profound joy and deep grief. Together, Jay and Shane explore:Common false versions of Jesus such as:Eternity-Only Jesus – cares only about your afterlife, not your daily walk.American Dream Jesus – blesses comfort, accumulation, and nationalism over mission.Non-Judgmental Jesus – loves but never calls for repentance.Comfortable Jesus – keeps life safe and easy, rather than calling us into obedience and sacrifice.National Jesus – conflates the Kingdom of God with any earthly nation.How parents may unintentionally model a counterfeit Christ through their attitudes and actions.Why your family’s faith is “caught” more than it’s taught.How to lead your kids in authentic discipleship by living consistently for Jesus at home and in public.The danger of making comfort the measure of God’s blessing—and how to evaluate if you’re living beyond yourself on mission.A biblical view of love that both accepts us as we are and calls us to holiness.Shane and Jay also talk about practical ways to stay anchored in Scripture, model genuine faith for your kids, and resist the cultural pull to create a Jesus in our own image.About Shane PruittShane serves as the National Next Gen Director for the North American Mission Board, leading ministry to students and young adults across more than 50,000 churches. He’s a sought-after conference speaker, podcast host, and the author of 9 Common Lies Christians Believe and Calling Out the Called. His latest Bible study, Not My Jesus, is available in both student and adult editions and helps believers spot cultural distortions of Christ and embrace the true Savior found in the Gospels.Let’s Parent on Purpose is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcasting Network. For more information, visit www.ChristianParenting.orgResources mentioned:Resources & Links:Check out www.youthministry.coachDaily Devotional Podcast Guided by Faith: www.guidedbyfaith.netGet Not My Jesus (adult and student versions): https://amzn.to/4mPefFTFollow Shane Pruitt: Instagram | X/Twitter | WebsiteJoin my Things for Thursday Email List and get a free Marriage Snapshot Tool and Fun Family Conversation Ebook! Support Let’s Parent on Purpose as we help families thrive through the gospel: https://letsparentonpurpose.com/support/

In this powerful and uplifting conversation, Jay Holland sits down with beloved pastor and best-selling author Max Lucado to explore the themes of his newest book, Tame Your Thoughts. With decades of pastoral experience and 40+ books to his name, Max shares deep biblical wisdom and practical tools to help both adults and children manage their thought lives through faith and truth.Together, Jay and Max discuss:Why our internal narratives shape our lives—and how to rewrite themHow brain science is finally catching up to biblical truthThree powerful tools for mental and emotional health:Practice Picky ThinkingIdentify UFOs (Untruths → False Narratives → Overreactions)Uproot and Replant with ScriptureHow lies about identity and failure can derail both teens and parentsWhy recognizing and correcting our own thought patterns as parents can transform our relationshipsThe surprising story behind Max Lucado’s first tattoo at age 70 (hint: it’s a Greek word from the cross)This episode is packed with insight, encouragement, and tools to help you and your family live freer, more Christ-centered lives.Key Takeaways:“You get to control the story in your head, but the story in your head will control you.” – Jay HollandBelief leads to behavior. Shaping your belief begins by shaping your thoughts.Studies show people with a belief in a loving God recover from disease at exponentially higher rates.Scripture and neuroscience both affirm that your brain can be renewed.Parental overreactions often stem from unexamined false narratives—recognize and replace them with truth.Teaching your kids to identify untruths and replant with Scripture equips them for lifelong emotional resilience.Scripture Highlighted in This Episode:Proverbs 4:23 – "Be careful how you think; your life is shaped by your thoughts."Romans 12:2 – "Be transformed by the renewing of your mind..."Philippians 4:8 – “Whatever is true... think about such things.”Romans 8:1 – “There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”Max’s 3-Step Toolkit for Mental Health:Step 1: Practice Picky Thinking – Don’t believe every thought you think. Guard your mind’s door.Step 2: Identify UFOs – Trace overreactions back to false narratives and root lies.Step 3: Uproot and Replant – Replace toxic thoughts with Scripture and truth.Let’s Parent on Purpose is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcasting Network. For more information, visit www.ChristianParenting.orgBioMax Lucado is a pastor, speaker, and best-selling author of more than 40 books for adults and children. Known for his warmth, biblical insight, and storytelling, Max’s work has encouraged millions to embrace the grace of God. He serves as Teaching Pastor at Oak Hills Church in San Antonio, Texas, and continues to write, speak, and share God’s love globally.Resources mentioned:Tame Your Thoughts by Max Lucado – Available wherever books are soldMaxLucado.com – Devotions, YouTube channel Fresh Hope, and moreJoin my Things for Thursday Email List and get a free Marriage Snapshot Tool and Fun Family Conversation Ebook! Support Let’s Parent on Purpose as we help families thrive through the gospel: https://letsparentonpurpose.com/support/

Join host Jay Holland as he introduces a new parenting tune-up resource designed to help parents evaluate and adjust their parenting strategies. This episode dives into the complexities of parenting across different life stages and offers biblical encouragement and practical questions to guide parents in nurturing their children.Key Points:Introduction to the Parenting Tune-up resource. Importance of adapting parenting strategies as children grow. Biblical encouragement from Psalms, Proverbs, Ephesians, and Deuteronomy. The "Oxygen Mask Principle" for self-care in parenting. Reflecting on and celebrating positive traits in children. Course correction strategies for evolving family dynamics. Long-term and short-term visioning for family growth.Upcoming:Look forward to an interview with Pastor Max Lucado in mid-August.Let’s Parent on Purpose is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcasting Network. For more information, visit www.ChristianParenting.orgResources mentioned:Access the Parenting Tuneup tool by texting "THINGS" to 66866. Check out the "Guided by Faith" podcast for daily devotionals. Join my Things for Thursday Email List to get a copy of the Parenting Tune-Up tool!Support Let’s Parent on Purpose as we help families thrive through the gospel: https://letsparentonpurpose.com/support/

In this episode, Jay discusses the importance of maintaining a healthy marriage through a structured tool he developed called the 'Marriage Tune-Up.' He outlines different levels of marriage, from crisis to flourishing, and emphasizes the need for regular maintenance and intentionality in relationships. The conversation highlights biblical principles and practical steps couples can take to improve their marriages and become a blessing to others. TakeawaysMarriage requires periodic maintenance just like a vehicle.There are different levels of marriage, each with unique characteristics.Emergency level indicates a marriage in crisis needing immediate attention.Stable but stuck marriages function but lack connection and intimacy.Growing marriages are healthy and intentional with regular rhythms of connection.Flourishing marriages thrive in unity and shared purpose.Catalytic marriages serve as a kingdom force, mentoring others.Encouragement is vital for softening hearts in a marriage.Forgiveness is essential but does not equal trust or lack of boundaries.Regular rhythms of repentance and prayer can lead to a healthier marriage.Let’s Parent on Purpose is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcasting Network. For more information, visit www.ChristianParenting.orgResources mentioned:Join my Things for Thursday Email List to get a copy of the Marriage Tune-Up tool!Support Let’s Parent on Purpose as we help families thrive through the gospel: https://letsparentonpurpose.com/support/

In this conversation, Jay Holland, Ed Uszynski, and Brian Smith discuss the complexities of youth sports culture, emphasizing the need for a shift in perspective among parents and coaches. They explore the concept of the 'youth sports industrial complex,' the impact of parental influence, and the importance of character development in sports. The discussion highlights the detrimental effects of snowplow parenting and the need for intentional discipleship opportunities within the youth sports experience. In this conversation, the speakers discuss the importance of instilling gratitude and character in youth sports, contrasting the focus on competition and statistics with the value of personal growth and relationships. They emphasize the need for parents to support their children in a balanced way, encouraging them to appreciate the joy of sports while also recognizing the pressures of year-round competition and early specialization. The discussion culminates in a vision for families to engage in sports as a means of discipleship and community building.TakeawaysThe youth sports industrial complex is a billion-dollar industry.Parents need to be the first to be discipled in sports culture.Character development in sports is influenced by the adults involved.Snowplow parenting inhibits children's ability to think independently.Winning is often prioritized over character in youth sports.Discipleship opportunities arise from observing sports interactions.Parents should teach their kids to notice others in sports.The culture of sports can shape our values and beliefs.Coaches have a significant impact on children's development.We need to reform our thinking about youth sports. Training kids to thank referees and spectators is vital.The GOAT debate highlights character over statistics.Living with gratitude leads to a more joyful life.Pursuing excellence doesn't mean sacrificing compassion.Recognizing marginalized teammates fosters inclusivity.Year-round competition is not necessary for success.Early specialization can be detrimental to athletes.Parents should focus on enjoying the game with their kids.Remove anxiety from the sports experience for children.Sports can be a platform for discipleship and community.Let’s Parent on Purpose is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcasting Network. For more information, visit www.ChristianParenting.orgBioAbout Brian Smith Brian Smith is the author of several books including his latest Away Game: A Christian Parent’s Guide to Navigating Youth Sports and The Christian Athlete: Glorifying God in Sports. He has been on staff with Athletes in Action since 2008. A graduate of Wake Forest University, Brian has a master’s degree in Theology and Sports Studies through Baylor University. He lives in Lowell, Michigan, with his wife and three kids. Social Media: Website: www.thechristianathlete.comTwitter: @BrianSmithAIAInstagram: @brianlinseyAbout Ed Uszynski Ed Uszynski is an author, speaker, and sports minister with over three decades’ experience discipling college and professional athletes. His latest book is Away Game: A Christian Parent’s Guide to Navigating Youth Sports. He’s written articles, essays, and training manuals at the intersection of faith and sport and is the lead strategist for Content Mercenaries. He has two theological degrees from Trinity Evangelical Divinity School and a PhD in American Culture Studies from Bowling Green State University. He and his wife Amy have four children and live in Xenia, Ohio.Social Media: Website: www.untanglingcrt.comTwitter: @uszynski32Facebook: @ed.uszynski.3Resources mentioned:Away Game: A Christian Parent’s Guide to Navigating Youth Sports: https://amzn.to/43QFoQIAthletes in Action: https://athletesinaction.org/ Join my Things for Thursday Email List and get a free Marriage Snapshot Tool and Fun Family Conversation Ebook! Support Let’s Parent on Purpose as we help families thrive through the gospel: https://letsparentonpurpose.com/support/

This episode serves as a parental companion to Jay’s Guided By Faith Daily Devotional Podcast series on Living the Mission. In this episode, Jay discusses the importance of living a mission-driven life within the context of family and community. He emphasizes that the Great Commission is not just for missionaries abroad but applies to everyday life. Jay provides practical tips for parents to instill a mission mindset in their families, encouraging them to engage with their neighborhoods, practice hospitality, and serve others. He highlights the long-term impact of these actions and invites listeners to join his series on living the mission.TakeawaysThe Great Commission applies to our daily lives.Living missionally can transform family dynamics.Prayer walking helps engage with the community.Hospitality is a key aspect of living on mission.Serving together as a family fosters unity.Sharing faith authentically normalizes conversations about Jesus.Being rooted in community strengthens faith.Long-term relationships have a greater impact than short-term mission trips.Small, faithful steps lead to significant changes over time.Engaging with neighbors opens doors for ministry opportunities.Listen to the episode and let it inspire you to see your summer with fresh eyes—ready to live on mission as a family!Resources mentioned:Guided by Faith: www.guidedbyfaith.netSpotify: https://spoti.fi/4cLI2d7Apple Podcast: https://apple.co/4cOVBbKYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@GuidedbyFaithPodcastJoin my Things for Thursday Email List and get a free Marriage Snapshot Tool and Fun Family Conversation Ebook! Support Let’s Parent on Purpose as we help families thrive through the gospel: https://letsparentonpurpose.com/support/

For the first time in the history of the Barna Research, more young women are leaving the faith than young men. Jay Holland and Cicely Corry discuss the work of Barna, focusing on the intersection of church and culture. They explore the methodologies used in their research, the importance of data for parents and leaders, and the concerning trend of young women disengaging from faith. Cicely shares insights into the reasons behind this trend, including social dynamics and perceptions of safety within church communities. The discussion emphasizes the need for churches to create welcoming environments for young women and the role of community in fostering faith. This conversation explores the dynamics of friendships between genders, the importance of intentionality in building relationships, and the empowerment of young women in leadership roles. It discusses the challenges faced by Gen Z in navigating faith and spirituality, emphasizing the need for mentorship and community support. The dialogue highlights the role of parents in fostering curiosity and community among their children to help them thrive in their faith journey.TakeawaysParents can benefit from Barna's insights to raise their children in faith.Young women are increasingly identifying as having no faith, a concerning trend.Social dynamics and safety perceptions impact young women's engagement with church.Community and friendship are vital for youth engagement in church.Churches need to create safe spaces for young women.Men's friendships often thrive on shared interests. Women tend to have more complex social dynamics in friendships.Shared experiences help deepen connections among individuals. Visible female leadership in churches empowers young women.Mentorship plays a significant role in young women's development.Gen Z shows intrigue in spiritual matters despite declining church affiliation.Parents should engage in curious conversations with their children.Community involvement is essential for faith retention.Encouraging young people to step out of their comfort zones fosters growth.Let’s Parent on Purpose is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcasting Network. For more information, visit www.ChristianParenting.orgBioCicely Corry is Editorial Director at Barna Group, where she leads online content strategy to help Christian leaders understand key trends affecting the Church. Previously, she managed social media strategy and content for the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association and wrote for the Christian Broadcasting Network. Cicely has served in student ministry for over 10 years, and founded Three Minute Study, an online Bible study community helping others understand, enjoy and apply God’s wordShe holds a M.A. in journalism from Regent University and a B.A. in print journalism and marketing from Hampton University. Cicely is an Atlanta native now living in Charlotte, North Carolina, with her husband and two sons.Resources mentioned:Barna site: https://www.barna.com/  Gen Z Vol. 3 Study: https://www.barna.com/gen-z-volume-3/ Barna’s Instagram Page: https://www.instagram.com/barnagroup/?hl=en  Barna Access Plus: https://www.barna.com/access/ Cicely Corry's Instagram Page: https://www.instagram.com/cicelycorry/   Join my Things for Thursday Email List and get a free Marriage Snapshot Tool and Fun Family Conversation Ebook! Support Let’s Parent on Purpose as we help families thrive through the gospel: https://letsparentonpurpose.com/support/

In this conversation, Jay and Virgil explore the concept of missional households, emphasizing the importance of experiential learning, community, and intentional practices in family life. They discuss how to create a nurturing environment for spiritual growth, the significance of regular rhythms in the household, and adapting to life changes while maintaining a missional mindset. Through personal stories and practical advice, they highlight the transformative power of faith in everyday life.TakeawaysThere's a difference between knowing about something and truly knowing it.Learning requires experience, community, and a compelling story.Discipleship is best understood as a relational network rather than individual mentorship.Deep learning occurs in community settings, not just through sermons.Intentional rhythms in the household can foster spiritual growth.Experiential learning can be integrated into family gatherings.Simplicity in practices makes them easier to maintain.Children learn through repetition and experience in their environment.Creating a missional household involves being consistent with values and practices.The narrative of a household can guide the family's mission and identity.Let’s Parent on Purpose is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcasting Network. For more information, visit www.ChristianParenting.orgBioAs the Senior Director of OneTree, Virgil is responsible for leading the team to help mission, marketplace, and ministry leaders thrive holistically, do beautifully integrated work, and become everything God dreamed them to be, believing this to be a primary means for stewarding the reviving life of God through His people into the world.Virgil holds a B.S. in Biology, an M.A. in Religion and Cross Cultural Studies, and an MEd. in Curriculum and Instruction. He is presently working on an EdD in Christian Leadership.Resources mentioned:https://www.onetreeministries.org/Join my Things for Thursday Email List and get a free Marriage Snapshot Tool and Fun Family Conversation Ebook! Support Let’s Parent on Purpose as we help families thrive through the gospel: https://letsparentonpurpose.com/support/

In this conversation, Jay and Virgil explore the importance of character development over mere skills in leadership and parenting. They discuss the need for experiential learning in faith and the role of community in nurturing youth. The conversation emphasizes that discipleship should primarily occur in the home, supported by a network of relationships that foster growth and understanding.They also discuss the importance of building significant relationships, particularly in the context of youth ministry. They explore the influence of social media on young people's lives, emphasizing the need for adults to step in and provide positive guidance. The discussion highlights the role of desire in shaping behavior and the necessity of intentional connections in youth ministry. They also address the importance of encouraging risk-taking and resilience in young people, advocating for experiential learning over theoretical knowledge. The conversation concludes with practical advice for parents on how to engage in transformative conversations with their children.TakeawaysLeaders often have more information than formation.Character is more important than skills in leadership.Experiential learning is crucial for true understanding.Discipleship must happen primarily in the home.Community plays a vital role in faith development.Youth often leave the faith due to lack of relational engagement.Knowing about something is different from truly knowing it.Parents' involvement in faith practice significantly impacts youth retention.Building a supportive network for youth is essential.Teaching faith should be experiential, communal, and narratively situated. Aim for at least seven significant adult relationships.Social media influences youth in unhealthy ways.Desire drives behavior more than cognition.Intentional connections can impact youth positively.Encouraging risk-taking helps build resilience.Experiential learning is more effective than theoretical knowledge.Transformative conversations can lead to deeper understanding.Modeling behavior is crucial for youth development.Recognizing and affirming individual strengths is important.Learning from failure is a valuable experience.Let’s Parent on Purpose is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcasting Network. For more information, visit www.ChristianParenting.orgBioAs the Senior Director of OneTree, Virgil is responsible for leading the team to help mission, marketplace, and ministry leaders thrive holistically, do beautifully integrated work, and become everything God dreamed them to be, believing this to be a primary means for stewarding the reviving life of God through His people into the world.Virgil holds a B.S. in Biology, an M.A. in Religion and Cross Cultural Studies, and an MEd. in Curriculum and Instruction. He is presently working on an EdD in Christian Leadership.Resources mentioned:https://www.onetreeministries.org/Join my Things for Thursday Email List and get a free Marriage Snapshot Tool and Fun Family Conversation Ebook! Support Let’s Parent on Purpose as we help families thrive through the gospel: https://letsparentonpurpose.com/support/