THE SHAME SPIRAL: How to stop feeling like a failure and embrace who you are

What if the reason you’re struggling isn’t you—but the environment you’re in? In this episode, Rox and Rich dive into The Cherry Tree Theory, a powerful way to reframe personal growth, self-sabotage, and why some people thrive while others feel stuck. They break down why self-blame keeps you trapped, how past experiences shape your ability to grow, and why the right environment is more important than just "trying harder." Instead of forcing yourself to change, what if you changed the conditions around you? Taking inspiration from Mother Nature herself they reveal five surprising steps for personal thriving: 1) Stop poisoning yourself 2) Heal your roots  3) Start pruning 4) Find new soil 5) Nurture your growth If you’ve ever felt stuck, like personal growth isn’t working, or like something invisible is holding you back—this episode might just change the way you see yourself forever.

Why do so many people with ADHD struggle with shame? In this episode, Rox and Rich break down the cycle of self-criticism, exploring how productivity culture, masking, and forgetfulness fuel feelings of failure. Rox opens up about her own experiences with shame—from harsh self-talk and fear of judgment to the pressure to appear "put together"—and how it impacted her relationships, creativity, and mental health. Rich shares his perspective on supporting a partner with ADHD, highlighting the importance of compassion, communication, and breaking free from unrealistic expectations. Together, they unpack the difference between shame and guilt, why self-acceptance is essential, and how reframing your inner dialogue can transform your self-esteem. You’ll also hear practical tools for overcoming shame, including: Rewriting negative narratives about yourself Letting go of perfectionism and over-apologizing Doubling down on your strengths instead of fixating on your struggles Surrounding yourself with people who see and accept the real you If you've ever felt like you're "not good enough" or that your ADHD makes you a failure, this episode is a reminder: You are not broken. And it's time to start believing that.

Falling in love is easy. Staying in love—especially when ADHD is in the mix—is where the real work begins. In this episode, Rox opens up about her relationship history: falling fast, struggling with communication, and repeating patterns she didn’t understand until her ADHD diagnosis. She shares why celibacy, sobriety, and therapy helped her break free from the cycle of intense romance and heartbreak—and how meeting Rich changed everything. Rich dives into the three biggest challenges of loving someone with ADHD: Communication: How direct vs. emotional communication styles lead to frustration—and why “out of sight, out of mind” doesn’t mean “out of love.” Forgetfulness: The impact of forgotten promises and messy environments—and why tone matters when asking for help. Emotional Intensity: Navigating Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD), why ADHD is rooted in sensitivity, and the challenge of feeling “too much.” But it’s not all hard work—there’s beauty in ADHD, too. Rox and Rich explore the superpowers of empathy, creativity, and humor that have strengthened their bond. Through honesty, kindness, and a whole lot of trial and error, they've learned that curiosity—not judgment—is the key to making love last. If you've ever felt like your emotions are too big, your forgetfulness is too frustrating, or your relationships are too chaotic—this episode is for you.

Sex is everywhere—movies, TV, social media—but it’s always the honeymoon version. No one talks about what happens when the obsession fades, when life gets in the way, or when desire feels more like a pressure than a passion. In this episode, Rox and Rich dive into the unspoken struggles of long-term intimacy, from the countdown clock of “how long it’s been” to the shame of lower desire and the weight of unrealistic expectations. They unpack the pressure society puts on both men and women—why Rox feels hyper-aware of when they last had sex, and why Rich worried he wasn’t "good enough." They get real about sober sex, the anxiety that comes with it, and how neurodivergence (like PDA struggles and black-and-white thinking) can make intimacy even more complex. How often should couples be having sex? Is there a magic number? And most importantly, how do you build intimacy without making it feel like a chore? Spoiler: it’s all about communication, trust, and ditching the expectations. This one’s raw, real, and maybe a little too honest. But no one’s alone in this—so let’s talk about it.

In this episode, Rich interviews Rox about her journey to becoming RØRY, the rock star she always dreamed of being. Rox opens up about the 20-year battle with trauma, addiction, and imposter syndrome that kept her dreams on hold. She shares why chasing success later in life is powerful, how sobriety became her turning point, and why a creative pursuit is perfect for ADHD brains craving constant novelty. Rox explains how she overcame the fear of failure, lost everything with her first album, and built herself back up with audacity and confidence. They discuss the realities of pursuing big dreams when you've faced trauma and don't have a stable safety net. Rox leaves listeners with three pieces of game-changing advice for creatives: fail forward, be audacious, and act as if you already are who you want to be. Whether you're a dreamer, a late bloomer, or someone searching for the confidence to take your shot, this episode is for you.

In this episode, Rox and Rich get brutally honest about their financial journeys, sharing how debt, addiction, and shame shaped their lives. Rox opens up about hitting rock bottom with debt, the overwhelming shame of a poor credit rating, and the challenges of climbing out of financial chaos. Rich reveals how his past struggles with poverty and gambling addiction made him hyper-cautious with money—and how they’ve found balance together despite their very different approaches. They also explore the link between ADHD and overspending, the mental health impacts of financial stress, and why it’s so important to break the stigma around money struggles. Packed with raw honesty, hope, and practical advice, this episode is for anyone who’s ever felt trapped by their finances. You’re not alone—and there’s a way forward.

Falling in love isn’t all butterflies and romance—it’s awkward, messy, and sometimes downright hilarious. In this episode, Rox and Rich get real about the unspoken struggles of new relationships, from the anxiety of those early days to the dreaded moment you finally let one slip. Rox opens up about how anxious she was when they first met—so much so that she couldn’t even be in the same room as Rich—while Rich shares his experience with anxious attachment and, of course, the belly aches that come with holding everything in (literally). From silent farts to full-blown panic, this episode dives into the reality of love beyond the fairytales, proving that even the messiest beginnings can lead to something beautiful.

In this episode of LATE BLOOMERS, Rich and Rox share their personal stories about mental health medication—the good, the bad, and the unexpectedly funny. Rich talks about his journey with antidepressants, including some awkward and memorable side effects, while Rox reflects on being prescribed antidepressants after losing her mum, how it shaped her grief, and why her sobriety influences her decisions around ADHD meds. It’s an honest, relatable, and often hilarious discussion about the realities of mental health meds. Whether you’re on meds, off meds, or just curious, this episode dives into the messy truth of finding what works (or doesn’t) and embracing your own journey. Quick disclaimer: We’re sharing our experiences, not medical advice. For real help, talk to someone with a stethoscope!

In this episode, we’re unpacking what it truly means to be a late bloomer. Rich and Rox share the areas in their lives where they’ve bloomed later than expected—Rich in work, emotions, and love, and Rox in music, love, and adulting. Along the way, they reflect on the lessons learned from failure, the beauty of second (or third) chances, and the power of persistence. This episode is for anyone who’s ever felt “behind” in life or worried they’ve missed their chance. Rich and Rox remind you that it’s never too late to go after your dreams, build the life you want, and rewrite your story—one step at a time. Whether you’re chasing love, success, or self-discovery, this is your sign to start now.

In our very first episode, we’re diving into how it all began. Rich had survived abuse, two divorces, and a gambling addiction. Rox was battling alcoholism, relationship chaos, debt, and mental health struggles. Between us, we’ve had over 20 different jobs and hit rock bottom more than once. Then we found each other, got sober, and built something extraordinary. With ADHD creativity fueling our ideas, we made one video that changed everything—going viral and creating a community of over 5 million people. In this episode, we’ll share the highs, the lows, and the hilarious moments that made us a dream team. Plus, why we believe ADHD can be both a disability and a superpower—and how the right support can help anyone change their life.