8: UNMASKING AT HOME: 10 Signs You’re Still Performing for the People You Love

You might take the mask off after work—but are you actually taking it off at home? This week, Rich and Rox expose ten ways ADHD and autistic people can still perform around the people they trust most, from saying “I’m fine” and agreeing to plans you secretly dread to hiding sensory overwhelm, exhaustion and chaos.They talk fake facial expressions, panic-cleaning, apologising for moods that have nothing to do with you and why “I’ll do it later” often means something completely different. It turns out feeling safe enough to be honest can involve more awkward conversations—and fewer forced cuddles.20% off Loop Earplugs: ⁠https://www.loopearplugs.com/adhdlove

The ADHD brain can generate approximately 900 brilliant ideas before breakfast. Finishing one of them is where things get complicated. This week, Rich and Rox share ten ways to harness ADHD creativity without losing the plot, abandoning the project or accidentally bankrupting yourself.They talk hyperfocus, impossible goals, “dopamine dollars,” building the team your brain is missing and why confidence comes after you start—not before. Rox also discovers she may have leaked the title of another album, which rather proves one of the points.20% off Loop Earplugs: ⁠https://www.loopearplugs.com/adhdloveCHAPTERS00:00 ADHD and creativity02:18 When lightning strikes, run towards it06:07 Make the goal feel impossible08:43 Don’t spend your dopamine dollars10:35 Rox accidentally leaks another album11:27 Keep your creative project shiny13:17 Nobody starts confident15:16 Loop Earplugs16:22 Build the team your brain is missing20:54 Don’t become your own bottleneck23:29 Don’t make permanent decisions in temporary emotions25:59 Market like you don’t have ADHD29:45 Don’t bankrupt yourself33:07 Final thoughts

For years, Rich and Rox told everyone they were "the couple that never argued." Not true anymore. They argue all the time now, they're just better at it. This week they're breaking down exactly how to argue well so it doesn't end in a break-up, using a real recent row of theirs as the case study, plus a few cringe lessons from watching The Ultimatum.If you're in a relationship, this is the episode you need. Rich and Rox talk through the five rules that stop an argument turning into a breakup: why screaming shuts down all communication, why you can't demand your partner love you the way you love them, why trying to "win" an argument means you've already lost, why calling out your own bullshit disarms a row faster than anything else, and the biggest one, learning to translate what your partner actually means instead of just what they're saying. They also redo one of their worst arguments live, so you can hear exactly what it should have sounded like the first time.20% off Loop Earplugs: https://www.loopearplugs.com/adhdlove

This week on LATE BLOOMERS, Rich and Rox are throwing out the social rulebook and writing their own. Twenty new rules for a world built for ADHD and autistic brains instead of against them — because eye contact shouldn't be mandatory, small talk shouldn't be the default, and nobody should have to lie about liking a haircut.From compulsory name badges (because nobody with ADHD can remember a name five seconds after hearing it) to abolishing dress codes, banning greetings cards, and introducing a visible social battery indicator so you never again have to mask through a conversation you don't have the capacity for. This episode covers the unspoken rules that make everyday socialising exhausting for neurodivergent people, and what a world built around executive dysfunction, sensory overwhelm, and direct communication could actually look like. Rich and Rox debate arrival windows instead of start times, why "how are you" should be legally binding, why last-minute plans should just be called plans, and why friendship should be measured by depth, not by how often you text back.If you're ADHD, autistic, AuDHD, or just someone who's ever felt like the current social contract wasn't written with your brain in mind, this is the episode where two neurodivergent adults finally say the quiet part out loud.20% off Loop Earplugs: https://www.loopearplugs.com/adhdlove

This week on LATE BLOOMERS, Rich and Rox go through ten weirdly specific things that turned out to be ADHD in disguise. Bendy joints, dopamine dressing, owning 12 water bottles for no reason, and not being able to sleep with a ticking clock in the room.Rox breaks down why she can't tell she's hungry until she's shaking, why a slice of cheese counts as dinner, and why she's started roughly 100 businesses and finished none of them. Rich points out the parts Rox doesn't notice herself doing, including the inner monologue that occasionally becomes an outer monologue in public.If you've spent your whole life thinking you were just "a bit weird," this one might explain a lot.20% off Loop Earplugs: https://www.loopearplugs.com/adhdlove

This week on LATE BLOOMERS, Rich and Rox sit down with Dr. Jolene Brighten to talk about something nobody's telling ADHD women — perimenopause doesn't wait until you're 50, and for a lot of you it's already started.They get into why ADHD women hit perimenopause about a decade earlier than everyone thinks, why doctors keep saying you're "too young" for what your body's already going through, and why you can end up with twice the symptoms and half the answers. Rox also opens up about a period last year that felt like a full breakdown, and what it took to actually find out why.Grab Dr. Brighten's new book, ADHD & Women: drbrighten.com/adhdandwomenMore from Dr. Brighten:Website: www.drbrighten.comInstagram: instagram.com/drjolenebrightenTikTok: tiktok.com/@drjolenebrightenThreads: threads.net/@drjolenebrighten20% off Loop Earplugs: https://www.loopearplugs.com/adhdlove

This week on LATE BLOOMERS, Rich and Rox break down the six types of memory — and why ADHD and autism hit almost every single one in opposite directions.ADHD struggles hardest with working memory and prospective memory, described as writing on a whiteboard while someone else actively wipes it. But it can come with genuinely excellent semantic and procedural memory, the kind that makes songwriting easier than cleaning the kitchen. Autism runs almost the reverse: strong working, prospective, semantic and episodic memory, but real struggles holding onto the emotion behind a memory, even the painful ones.They also get into why autistic memory relies entirely on a calm nervous system, and Rox's actual advice if you've got ADHD: assume you have no memory at all, and externalise everything.20% off Loop Earplugs: https://www.loopearplugs.com/adhdlove

This week on LATE BLOOMERS, Rich and Rox are laying down the ten commandments for surviving a world that wasn't built for your brain. No cards, no notes — Rox is running the whole manifesto from memory, which given the memory episode is a bold choice.Protect your energy like it's gold, master the art of strategic masking, stop apologising for existing, and stop trying to be neurotypical — you'll burn out whilst failing. Plus the coffee-in-bed morning routine they both refuse to let anyone derail, and why being the only "normal" one in your friend group is actually the first warning sign.If you're exhausted from pretending to be like them, this one's your permission slip to stop.20% off Loop Earplugs: https://www.loopearplugs.com/adhdlove

This week on LATE BLOOMERS, Rich and Rox are asking the question nobody wants to answer honestly — who's actually more empathetic, ADHD or autism? Spoiler: everyone's had it backwards.They break down the three types of empathy nobody talks about, why Rich's empathy sometimes tips into full-blown overwhelm, and why the "autistic people don't feel empathy" myth needs to die. Rox also drops one of the most quietly devastating stories either of them has shared on the show.If you've ever wondered whether you're actually empathetic or just anxious and pretending, this one's for you.20% off Loop Earplugs: https://www.loopearplugs.com/adhdlove

This week on LATE BLOOMERS, Rich and Rox are taking apart five pieces of relationship advice everyone treats as gospel — and explaining why they fall apart completely when one or both of you is neurodivergent."If they wanted to, they would." "Never go to bed angry." "They should just know." Rox explains why her memory has nothing to do with how much she loves Rich, Rich makes the case for going to bed mid-argument, and the dishwasher gets stacked twice. There's also a birthday story that nearly ends in a domestic.If you've ever been told your relationship is doing it wrong, this one's for you.20% off Loop Earplugs: https://www.loopearplugs.com/adhdlove