The Contrarian Mindset: Replacing the Reactive Mindset.

Get in touch with us! We’d appreciate your feedback and comments. This week, we’re tackling a mindset many of us fall into without realizing it—the reactive mindset.Reactivity isn’t always bad. In life-or-death situations, reacting fast keeps us safe. But in daily work, relationships, and emotionally charged conversations, reacting without reflection can lead to poor decisions, conflict, and regret.In this episode, I share Allison’s story. A seasoned project manager, she once believed fast responses meant strong leadership—until it cost her clarity, connection, and team trust. Her journey offers a powerful reminder that slowing down internally, even in high-pressure moments, can change the trajectory of how we lead, communicate, and relate to others.Allison’s shift to a contrarian mindset included key strategies like:Separating emotion from reality – creating space to reflect before reactingPracticing equanimity – finding calm in the storm to lead with clarityBuilding social bridges – responding with curiosity and empathy, even during conflictEmbracing obstacles as opportunities – reframing tension as a chance to growLetting go of fixed outcomes – allowing solutions to unfold through thoughtful dialogueAllison’s story reminds us that choosing how we respond—especially under pressure—is one of the most powerful forms of leadership. The contrarian mindset doesn’t reject emotion; it integrates it with intention.Additional Resources:Interested in building a contrarian mindset for resilience, fortitude, and psychological strength? Check out the other episodes in this series linked in the show notes, and subscribe to It’s an Inside Job for more insights on resilience, well-being, and personal growth.Part 1 – Discover the Power of The Contrarian Mindset: A New Approach to Rewiring Your Brain for Resilience and GrowthPart 2 – Discover the Power of The Contrarian Mindset: A New Approach to Rewiring Your Brain for Resilience and GrowthThis is Part 5 in a 15-part series where we confront the hidden fears and reactive patterns that hold us back—and build resilience by rewiring how we think.🔹 Part 1 – Facing the Fear of Vulnerability🔹 Part 2 – Breaking Free from Perfectionism🔹 Part 3 – Moving Through Imposter Syndrome🔹 Part 4 – Overcoming the Fear of Not Being Good Enough🔹 Contrarian Skills Series (Season 7) – Begin in January 2025 in the episode feed for deeper dives into each mindset strategy.Support the showSign up for the weekly IT'S AN INSIDE JOB NEWSLETTER takes 5 seconds to fill out receive a fresh update every Wednesday

Get in touch with us! We’d appreciate your feedback and comments. “Happiness isn’t something you chase. It’s a byproduct of suffering less.” – Tim TamashiroHave you ever hit a point where you’ve achieved what you thought would make you happy, only to feel like something’s still missing? Or perhaps you’ve found yourself caught in a cycle of frustration, burnout, or lack of direction? In this episode, I sit down with Tim Tamashiro, a jazz musician, author, and former CBC radio host, who has dedicated his life to discovering what it means to live with purpose.Tim is the author of How to Ikigai, a book that introduces the Japanese philosophy of finding meaning in the everyday by aligning our passions, skills, and values. His search for deeper meaning led him to study Buddhism in Thailand, exploring the roots of suffering and how we can move beyond it.In this episode, we dive into the principles of Ikigai, explore the three roots of suffering, and discuss how to live with more intention and awareness. By the end of the episode, you’ll walk away with practical insights on identifying your own Ikigai, managing suffering, and shifting from a life of autopilot to one of purpose and fulfillment.Key Topics Covered:Understanding Ikigai – The four pillars of finding your purpose: what you love, what you’re good at, what the world needs, and what you can be rewarded for.The Three Roots of Suffering – Anger, greed, and delusions, and how they shape our happiness.Living with Intention – How meditation and mindfulness can help you move from default to design in your life.The Power of Meditation – Practical tips for starting a meditation practice and using mindfulness to create space for clarity.Suffer Less, Happy More – A philosophy for reducing suffering by letting go of attachments and increasing self-awareness.Buddhism for Modern Life – How ancient teachings can be applied to our current challenges to find greater peace and happiness.Equiluminance – How compassion for yourself and others can bring balance and light into your life.BioTim Tamashiro is a Canadian jazz singer, author, keynote speaker, and former national radio host. He is best known for hosting "Tonic," a nightly jazz program on CBC Radio 2, from 2007 to 2017. After leaving CBC, Tim pursued studies in positive psychology and ikigai, an ancient Japanese philosophy meaning "life's worth." He authored the Amazon bestselling book "How To Ikigai," which explores this concept. Tim's personal ikigai is "to delight," and he shares this through speaking engagements, musical performances, and storytelling.ContactWebsite:  https://www.timtamashiro.ca/LinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/timtamashiro/Support the showSign up for the weekly IT'S AN INSIDE JOB NEWSLETTER takes 5 seconds to fill out receive a fresh update every Wednesday

Get in touch with us! We’d appreciate your feedback and comments. This week, we’re taking on a fear that hides in plain sight—the fear of not being good enough.In this episode, I share Gail’s story, a talented construction engineer working in a high-pressure, fast-paced industry. Despite a strong track record of success, Gail was driven by anxiety, relentless perfectionism, and constant self-doubt. One critical moment on a high-stakes project became a turning point—not just in her work, but in how she saw herself.We explore how Gail shifted from chasing perfection to embracing progress, using tools from the Contrarian Playbook to build real confidence from the inside out.Gail applied several contrarian strategies to reframe her thinking:Focus on progress, not perfectionChallenge unrealistic standardsReframe how feedback is received and processedDocument achievements to shift self-narrativesUse mindfulness to manage stress and negative self-talkBroaden identity beyond professional successAdopt a growth mindset rooted in curiosity and developmentGail’s story is a reminder that you don’t need to be flawless to be worthy. It’s not about proving yourself—it’s about knowing your worth, even when the stakes are high.Additional Resources:Interested in building a contrarian mindset for resilience, fortitude, and psychological strength? Check out the other episodes in this series linked in the show notes, and subscribe to It’s an Inside Job for more insights on resilience, well-being, and personal growth.Part 1 – Discover the Power of The Contrarian Mindset: A New Approach to Rewiring Your Brain for Resilience and GrowthPart 2 – Discover the Power of The Contrarian Mindset: A New Approach to Rewiring Your Brain for Resilience and GrowthSupport the showSign up for the weekly IT'S AN INSIDE JOB NEWSLETTER takes 5 seconds to fill out receive a fresh update every Wednesday

Get in touch with us! We’d appreciate your feedback and comments. “Your desire to know cultivates their willingness to tell.” – Jeff WetzlerIn this episode of It's an Inside Job, I sit down with Jeff Wetzler, author of Ask: Tap Into the Hidden Wisdom of People Around You, to explore the transformative power of asking the right questions. Jeff shares how curiosity, psychological safety, and deep listening are essential for meaningful conversations and effective leadership. Why You Should Listen: If you've ever left a conversation feeling like something was left unsaid, this episode will equip you with practical tools to ask better questions, listen more deeply, and build stronger relationships. Whether you're a leader, coach, or simply someone who wants to communicate more effectively, Jeff’s insights will transform the way you approach conversations.Key Takeaways:Curiosity is a Choice, Not a Trait – Jeff emphasizes that curiosity isn't something you either have or don’t. Instead, it’s a mindset shift that we can intentionally cultivate, especially in emotionally charged moments. By choosing to be curious, we invite deeper understanding and create a foundation for trust and learning.The Art of Psychological Safety – People often hold back valuable insights due to fear or discomfort. Jeff breaks down practical ways to make it safer for others to share their true thoughts—whether it's through choosing the right setting, exposing our own agenda transparently, or demonstrating resilience in handling difficult truths.The Quality of Our Questions Determines the Quality of Our Learning – Many of us unknowingly ask ‘clumsy,’ ‘sneaky,’ or ‘attack’ questions that shut down dialogue rather than open it up. Jeff walks us through his five-step Ask Approach, offering specific strategies for crafting open-ended, neutral questions that foster honest and insightful conversations.Deep Listening is More Than Just Hearing – Too often, we listen to respond rather than to understand. Jeff introduces techniques like ‘pulling the thread’ and ‘echoing’ to actively engage in conversations, ensuring we fully grasp both the words and emotions behind what someone is saying.Turning Insights into Action – Learning doesn’t stop at hearing—it requires reflection and follow-through. Jeff shares his ‘Sift It and Turn It’ method, a structured approach to processing information, extracting key insights, and translating them into meaningful change.Bio​Jeff Wetzler is a co-founder and co-CEO of Transcend, a nonprofit organization dedicated to supporting school communities in creating extraordinary, equitable learning environments.  Prior to co-founding Transcend, Jeff served as Executive Vice President of Teacher Preparation, Support, and Development, and Chief Learning Officer at Teach For America, where he focused on optimising the training and ongoing support of thousands of corps members nationally.In 2024, Jeff authored the book "Ask: Tap Into the Hidden Wisdom of People Around You for Unexpected Breakthroughs in Leadership and Life," which explores the power of asking questions to uncover insights and foster breakthroughs in leadership and personal development.  ContactWebsite:  https://www.askapproach.com/LinkedIn:  Support the showSign up for the weekly IT'S AN INSIDE JOB NEWSLETTER takes 5 seconds to fill out receive a fresh update every Wednesday

Get in touch with us! We’d appreciate your feedback and comments. This week on BiteSize Fridays, we unpack something that touches nearly everyone—imposter syndrome. Whether you're stepping into a new role, leading a team, or just pushing yourself into uncharted territory, that quiet inner voice questioning your competence can creep in.In this episode, I share Joseph’s story—a talented graphic designer whose outward success masked a constant fear of being “found out.” Despite praise and achievement, he struggled to see his own value.We walk through how Joseph learned to challenge this deeply ingrained mindset and gradually replace it with something stronger—a contrarian mindset rooted in self-worth, reality, and resilience.Joseph applied several contrarian strategies to rewire his thinking:Practicing self-worthFocusing on reality, not emotional distortionChallenging unrealistic standardsLetting go of fixed outcomesPracticing courage and vulnerabilityEmbracing obstacles as opportunitiesUsing mindfulness and reflection to build awarenessJoseph’s journey reminds us that overcoming imposter syndrome isn’t about faking confidence—it’s about reconnecting with the truth of our capabilities, learning to trust ourselves, and shifting how we respond to fear and doubt.Additional Resources:Interested in building a contrarian mindset for resilience, fortitude, and psychological strength? Check out the other episodes in this series linked in the show notes, and subscribe to It’s an Inside Job for more insights on resilience, well-being, and personal growth.Part 1 – Discover the Power of The Contrarian Mindset: A New Approach to Rewiring Your Brain for Resilience and GrowthPart 2 – Discover the Power of The Contrarian Mindset: A New Approach to Rewiring Your Brain for Resilience and GrowthSupport the showSign up for the weekly IT'S AN INSIDE JOB NEWSLETTER takes 5 seconds to fill out receive a fresh update every Wednesday

Get in touch with us! We’d appreciate your feedback and comments. "You don't have to erase your struggles to heal—it's about learning to understand and care for them." - Laura CollinsIn this episode, I sit down with Laura Hans-Segundo Collins, a former elite gymnast and diver turned psychotherapist. We explore what happens when the identity you’ve built around a passion, career, or pursuit suddenly shifts, leaving you unmoored. Laura shares her sojourn from high-stakes athletics to navigating depression and ultimately finding purpose in mental health advocacy.Her story reveals the hidden emotional toll of elite sports, the importance of trauma-informed coaching, and how we can reshape competitive environments to prioritise performance and well-being. Whether you’re an athlete, coach, leader, or someone traversing a major life transition, this episode offers powerful insights into resilience, identity, and healing.What We Cover in This EpisodeThe pressures of high-performance athletics and how they impact mental healthWhy many young athletes struggle with purpose after their sports careers endThe role of community and storytelling in healing and self-discoveryThe importance of trauma-informed coaching and creating safer sports environmentsHow we can balance competition with compassion in both sports and leadershipKey TakeawaysIdentity isn’t defined by a single pursuit—expanding your perspective helps with transitions.Healing is about integrating, not erasing, past struggles and learning from them.Competitive environments can be high-performance and high-support at the same time.Emotional well-being is as critical as physical conditioning in elite sports.Having a strong community and trusted mentors can make all the difference in resilience.BioLaura Hahn-Segundo Collins' mission is to: "Cultivate whole-person well-being to develop healthier, more resilient, compassionate and connected athletes, coaches, and community." A proud first-generation Korean-Filipina American, Laura's journey as a former elite athlete and two-decade career as a psychotherapist deeply informs her philosophy on personal growth and transformation. Her practice integrates psychoanalytic psychotherapy with trauma-informed care, narrative therapy, mindfulness, and practical tools for comprehensive healing and optimal performance.As a distinguished mental health professional in New York City, Laura has built an impressive legacy across public, nonprofit, and private sectors. She provides specialized training at institutions including NYU Medicine and Health and Hospitals, while mentoring emerging practitioners from Columbia, NYU, and other leading academic programs.ConnectLinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/lcollinslcsw/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theathletepsychotherapist/Website:  https://lcollinslcsw.com/Support the showSign up for the weekly IT'S AN INSIDE JOB NEWSLETTER takes 5 seconds to fill out receive a fresh update every Wednesday

Get in touch with us! We’d appreciate your feedback and comments. Perfectionism often hides behind ambition, high standards, and pride in our work. But left unchecked, it can drain our energy, paralyze progress, and chip away at our confidence. In this episode, I share Hunter’s story—a software engineer who tied his self-worth to flawless outcomes until a moment of failure forced him to rethink everything.We walk through the transformation he made by adopting a contrarian mindset—learning to value progress over perfection, creativity over control, and flexibility over rigidity.In this episode, I cover contrarian strategies that helped Hunter shift his thinking:Focus on progress, not perfectionChallenge unrealistic standardsEmbrace obstacles as opportunitiesAccept imperfection as naturalPractice self-worth independent of outcomesCultivate equanimity in the face of pressure and uncertaintyHunter’s story is a reminder that resilience isn’t about perfection—it’s about adapting, learning, and growing through the messiness of real life.Additional Resources:Interested in building a contrarian mindset for resilience, fortitude, and psychological strength? Check out the other episodes in this series linked in the show notes, and subscribe to It’s an Inside Job for more insights on resilience, well-being, and personal growth.Part 1 – Discover the Power of The Contrarian Mindset: A New Approach to Rewiring Your Brain for Resilience and GrowthPart 2 – Discover the Power of The Contrarian Mindset: A New Approach to Rewiring Your Brain for Resilience and GrowthSupport the showSign up for the weekly IT'S AN INSIDE JOB NEWSLETTER takes 5 seconds to fill out receive a fresh update every Wednesday

Get in touch with us! We’d appreciate your feedback and comments. "We tend to rationalise ourselves out of intuition, but that quiet voice inside of us often knows the answer before our mind catches up." - Elysia SkyeIn this episode, I sit down with Elysia Skye, an intuitive business coach, speaker, and host of The Brilliance Methodpodcast. We explore the power of intuition in decision-making, how to balance logic and gut instincts, and the role of mindfulness in reducing stress. Elysia shares practical strategies for trusting yourself, overcoming self-doubt, and making aligned choices as a leader or entrepreneur. She also tells a powerful story of how listening to her intuition literally saved her life.What We Cover in This EpisodeWhy intuition is more than just a feeling and the science behind the brain-gut connectionHow to distinguish between fear-based decisions and true inner guidanceThe importance of self-trust and self-compassion in overcoming doubt and building confidenceHow to balance logic and intuition, especially in high-pressure situationsMindfulness techniques to clear mental clutter and gain clarityStrategies for overcoming decision fatigue and stopping overthinkingElysia’s personal experience with stage three breast cancer and how trusting her intuition led to life-saving actionKey TakeawaysIntuition is a practical decision-making tool backed by science, not just a fleeting instinct.Slowing down to create space for reflection allows you to separate fear-driven thoughts from real inner wisdom.Trusting yourself is a skill that grows when you reflect on past moments where your intuition guided you correctly.Decision fatigue can be minimized by reframing challenges and focusing on clarity rather than overthinking.BioElysia Skye is an intuitive business coach, speaker, and host of The Brilliance Method Podcast, dedicated to helping entrepreneurs and leaders trust themselves to make aligned decisions in both their personal and professional life.She believes that true success stems from clarity, self-awareness, compassion, and the ability to embrace change.With a background in corporate consulting, mindfulness coaching, and course creation, Elysia helps businesses and individuals integrate stress management, intuitive leadership, and conscious decision-making into their daily practices. She has worked with GAP Inc., Banana Republic, Paramount Global, Humanity HR, The Producers Guild, and other brands, empowering leaders to empower their mindset, enhance communication, and foster meaningful relationships with colleagues, clients, and themselves.ContactWebsite: https://elysiaskye.comPodcast: https://elysiaskye.com/podcastThe Emerald Collective of The Brilliance Method: https://innercircle.thebrilliancemethod.com/emeraldInstagram:  https://www.instagram.com/elysiaskye/Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/elysiaskyecoachX:  https://x.com/ElysiaSkyeTikTok:  https://www.tiktok.com/@elysiaskyeLinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/elysiaskye/Support the showSign up for the weekly IT'S AN INSIDE JOB NEWSLETTER takes 5 seconds to fill out receive a fresh update every Wednesday

Get in touch with us! We’d appreciate your feedback and comments. In this episode of our Contrarian Mindset series, I explore a fear that silently influences many of our decisions—the fear of vulnerability.I share the stories of Henning, a driven executive, and Laura, a dedicated healthcare professional. On the surface, they had it all together. But underneath, they were each grappling with a deeply rooted discomfort around emotional openness. Like many of us, they were shaped by early experiences and work cultures that equated vulnerability with weakness.This episode is about turning that narrative on its head.I walk you through how they applied specific strategies from The Contrarian Playbook—like practicing courage, challenging unrealistic standards, and letting go of fixed outcomes—to shift vulnerability from a perceived liability to a genuine strength.Key Contrarian Plays Covered in This Episode:Practicing self-worthEmbracing courageGrounding in reality over emotional distortionLetting go of fixed outcomesCountering rumination through journalingChallenging unrealistic standardsEmbracing obstacles as opportunitiesPracticing equanimityIf we want to build real resilience and psychological strength, we need to stop working around our fears and start moving through them. That’s what the contrarian mindset is all about.Additional Resources:Interested in building a contrarian mindset for resilience, fortitude, and psychological strength? Check out the other episodes in this series linked in the show notes, and subscribe to It’s an Inside Job for more insights on resilience, well-being, and personal growth.Part 1 – Discover the Power of The Contrarian Mindset: A New Approach to Rewiring Your Brain for Resilience and GrowthPart 2 – Discover the Power of The Contrarian Mindset: A New Approach to Rewiring Your Brain for Resilience and GrowthSupport the showSign up for the weekly IT'S AN INSIDE JOB NEWSLETTER takes 5 seconds to fill out receive a fresh update every Wednesday

Get in touch with us! We’d appreciate your feedback and comments. "Power is not about control—it’s about collaboration, influence, and shaping the perception of those around you." - Saliha OukaciHave you ever felt like you’re playing by the rules but still not getting the visibility, influence, or leadership presence you deserve? Do you find yourself holding back, questioning whether you belong at the table—even when you’ve earned your place? In this episode, I sit down with Saliha Oukaci, a consultant who helps women over 40 break visibility barriers and step into leadership with confidence, authenticity, and impact.Saliha has a background in corporate leadership, color psychology, image consulting, and personality profiling. She offers a science-backed approach to reshaping self-image and amplifying credibility. But this conversation isn’t just about appearance—it’s about identifying and overcoming internal barriers that often hold women back in male-dominated industries. We discuss:How to reframe your narrative from limitation to leadershipThe role of color psychology in shaping perception and presenceWhy authenticity and authority are not at odds, and how to balance bothOvercoming challenges in male-dominated environments without compromising who you areThe power of intentional leadership and aligning internal strengths with external influenceSaliha’s insights go beyond theory. She provides actionable strategies to redefine power, communicate with impact, and cultivate leadership presence on your terms.Key TakeawaysThe Power of Narrative: How shifting your internal story changes how others perceive youAuthenticity & Authority: Why the two are not mutually exclusive and how to integrate bothEmbracing Your Leadership Palette: Understanding that leadership qualities, like colors, need to be adapted and blended with intentionBreaking Visibility Barriers: Why competence alone isn’t enough, and how to leverage your presence effectivelyEmotional Resilience: Developing the ability to bounce back quickly from self-doubt and external challengesBioSaliha Oukaci helps women 40+ break visibility barriers and build leadership presence with intention, confidence, and impact.With a background in corporate leadership and certifications in color analysis, color psychology, image consulting, and Personality Dimensions™ facilitation, she blends science and strategy to equip women with the tools to reshape their self-image, reclaim their narrative, and strengthen their credibility and influence.  Her approach goes beyond surface-level appearance. She addresses the internal doubts that shape self-perception and the external perceptions that shape leadership visibility by creating personalized solutions that foster well-being and ensure women feel empowered in their choices.ContactLinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/saliha-oukaci/Website:  https://coloramidisuccesso.itInstagram:  https://www.instagram.com/colorami_di_successo_consult?igsh=MWQxM29kbmI4ZzhtdA%3D%3D&utm_source=qrSupport the showSign up for the weekly IT'S AN INSIDE JOB NEWSLETTER takes 5 seconds to fill out receive a fresh update every Wednesday