The Contrarian Mindset - Cancelling the Fear of Conflict

Get in touch with us! We’d appreciate your feedback and comments. “Leadership isn’t about being the loudest voice in the room. It’s about knowing when to lower your voice, to meet others where they are, and to lead from that place of grounded service.” - Isreal DuranDiscover how servant leadership can build authentic influence through empathy, strength, and vision. In this episode, Israel Duran shares practical strategies—including the Four Laws of Influence and Four Questions of Purpose—that empower leaders to lead with clarity, kindness, and purpose.What if the true measure of leadership isn't control or charisma—but how clearly, compassionately, and consistently you show up for others?Key Takeaway Insights and ToolsThe Four Laws of Influence:Israel breaks down his leadership framework into four core areas—Strength, Empathy, Kindness, and Vision—that define a leader’s impact.Emotional vs. Cognitive Empathy:True leaders balance emotional attunement with objectivity. Israel and Jason discuss how cognitive empathy prevents burnout while still fostering genuine connection.The Four Questions of Purpose:A powerful self-reflection tool to uncover your calling: What do you love? What do you hate? What makes you cry? What or who annoys you?Clarity Is Kindness:Leadership requires setting firm boundaries and expectations early. Being clear—especially in moments of correction—is an act of respect, not harshness.Voice + Void = Vision:Great leaders identify a void, find their unique voice, and use both to inspire and influence others toward a shared vision.BioIsrael Duran is a sought-after speaker, business growth partner, and trainer who empowers purpose-driven leaders to align vision with strategy through meaningful communication and servant leadership. He is the creator of the "Service of Speaking" framework and has trained hundreds of leaders, including over 300 pastors in the past year. Learn more at israelduran.com or connect with him on Instagram by searching @israelduran and messaging the word “blueprint” for a free leadership guide.LinksFree Resource:DM the word “blueprint” to https://www.instagram.com/israelduranassociates/?hl=en for Israel’s Online Business Blueprint guide.Enjoyed this episode? Share it with someone navigating leadership with heart—and message Israel @israelduran with the word “blueprint” to receive his free Online Business Blueprint.Support the showSign up for the weekly IT'S AN INSIDE JOB NEWSLETTER takes 5 seconds to fill out receive a fresh update every Wednesday

Get in touch with us! We’d appreciate your feedback and comments. “Want leads to choice, which leads to commitment. Should leads to decision, which leads to sacrifice.”Discover why lasting change often fails and what truly makes it sustainable. In this episode, we explore the surprising power of willingness over willpower, offering practical language shifts and mindset tools to help you build intrinsic motivation and create meaningful change in your life.Are the changes you’re trying to make in your life driven by what you want—or by what you think you should want?Key Takeaway Insights and ToolsThe real difference between 'should' and 'want' when it comes to lasting change→ Lasting change happens when it’s fueled by internal desire, not obligation. ([00:44 – 01:45])Why 'willpower' is overrated—and why 'willingness' matters more→ Willingness is a quiet, internal force that opens the door to meaningful, sustainable progress. ([01:45 – 02:48])The story of Lisa: When overcommitment turns to burnout→ A powerful narrative that shows how shifting from ‘should’ to ‘want’ transformed one woman’s life. ([02:48 – 05:25])The 4-level language ladder to reframe your inner dialogue:“I should / I have to” = Obligation“I could” = Possibility“I want to” = Intention“I get to” = Gratitude and present-moment empowerment([07:36 – 09:22])Support the showSign up for the weekly IT'S AN INSIDE JOB NEWSLETTER takes 5 seconds to fill out receive a fresh update every Wednesday

Get in touch with us! We’d appreciate your feedback and comments. “Learning is leadership. If we can embrace our collective leadership through the lens of learning, we will go farther together.” - Susan Asiyanbi“If you're not regularly reflecting on your leadership, it's much harder to lead others. Start with self.” – Kim Reynolds-WilliamsLearn how to transform team conflict into powerful moments of growth with leadership experts Susan Asiyanbi and Kim Reynolds-Williams. This episode offers actionable strategies for fostering psychological safety, building resilient teams, and mastering the art of honest communication.What if the moments your team avoids the most—conflict, misalignment, and tension—are actually the keys to stronger trust, innovation, and clarity? Key Takeaway Insights and ToolsBreakdowns Are Not Failures – They're Entry Points for GrowthReframe team conflict as a learning opportunity to reduce fear and build cohesion.[00:06:17]Radically Lower the Threshold for What Counts as a BreakdownDon’t wait for dramatic moments—address even minor tensions to prevent future fallout.[00:07:24]Vulnerability Builds Momentum When ReinforcedLeaders must actively model and invite vulnerability, then recognize it when it happens.[00:15:25]Three Pillars of Communication: Communication, Engagement, AlignmentEffective communication isn't just telling people what to do—it's engaging them and aligning on implications.[00:31:16]Bios:Susan AsiyanbiSusan Asiyanbi is the advisor CEOs call when the stakes are high, the dynamics are complex, and the path forward isn’t obvious. A strategist, pattern recognizer, and trusted executive advisor, she helps senior leaders navigate the technical and adaptive dimensions of change— bridging strategy and culture so leadership teams don’t just move fast but move together.Today, as CEO of The Olori Network®, she leads a team of experts who help executive leaders identify the root causes of persistent challenges, shift entrenched patterns, and align their teams to move with clarity and cohesion. Kim Reynolds-WilliamsKim Reynolds-Williams is a partner at The Olori Network, where she coaches, trains, and advises C-suite and senior leaders to unlock the full potential of their teams and organizations. A trusted thought partner on executive team effectiveness, Kim brings deep expertise in strategy, team dynamics, and leadership development—shaped by years of experience leading cross-functional teams and supporting top executives.She is the principal architect of The Olori Network’s leadership thinking, designing practical tools, assessments, and learning experiences on topics such as decision-making, accountability, meeting culture, trust-building, and executive team design.The Alori Network: www.alorinetwork.comSupport the showSign up for the weekly IT'S AN INSIDE JOB NEWSLETTER takes 5 seconds to fill out receive a fresh update every Wednesday

Get in touch with us! We’d appreciate your feedback and comments. "If lessons are repeated until learned, and you can't learn them until you become aware of them, then cultivating awareness is absolutely necessary for any kind of progress on your path, especially towards resilience and well-being."Unlock your inner potential by cultivating self-awareness to navigate life's challenges, embrace a positive mindset, and achieve true well-being. Discover actionable insights and practical tools to become more conscious of your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors.Are you truly awake to your life, or are you operating on autopilot?Key Takeaway Insights and ToolsAwareness is the incredible process of becoming fully conscious; it's the very first step to making any change.(0:44)Feelings and emotions are like dashboard lights, signaling internal issues that need attention. (3:33)Practicing objective self-observation, like watching a movie of yourself, helps identify repeating behavioral patterns without judgment. (4:12)Journaling and meaningful reminders (e.g., a phrase or picture) are effective tools for externalizing thoughts and staying conscious. (5:07)Awareness is the foundation of choice, allowing you to choose how to respond rather than react, which is the core of resilience. (5:53)Body awareness (e.g., noticing tense shoulders, tight jaw) provides crucial signals about stress levels and emotions, aiding self-regulation. (7:51)Acknowledge emotional complexity by probing what lies beneath surface emotions for true emotional well-being. (8:38)Don't miss out on future insights! Subscribe to It's an Inside Job for your weekly dose of resilience, optimism, and well-being.Support the showSign up for the weekly IT'S AN INSIDE JOB NEWSLETTER takes 5 seconds to fill out receive a fresh update every Wednesday

Get in touch with us! We’d appreciate your feedback and comments. “When you rewrite a nightmare’s ending, you’re not avoiding it. You’re transforming it—and that rewiring gives you back control.” - Karen van KampenScience writer Karen van Kampen explores how dreams help us process emotion, boost creativity, and build resilience—with tools for dream recall, reflection, and healing.Have you ever woken up from a dream wondering, “What was that about?” Or felt like your mind was trying to tell you something—just out of reach?In this episode, I welcome back science writer Karen van Kampen to explore what dreams are really doing for us. Karen is currently writing The Brain Never Sleeps, a forthcoming book with Simon & Schuster Canada that dives deep into the science of dreaming, memory, and emotional well-being.Together, we talk about why your dreams matter—not just as strange midnight cinema, but as active tools your brain uses to sort through stress, solve problems, and generate creative insight. From managing nightmares through imagery rehearsal and targeted dream incubation, to using apps like Elsewhere for AI-assisted interpretation, Karen walks us through cutting-edge research and her own experiments in dream-guided creativity.We also explore what happens when your brain starts weaving together old memories and new worries—how dreams help us process emotion, consolidate memory, and prepare for life's difficult moments. Karen even shares a unique “dream salon” experience, where artists painted her dream on a page from Freud’s Interpretation of Dreams. It’s as poetic as it is scientific.Key Takeaways:Dreams reflect our waking stress: What preoccupies us by day often shows up in dream form—symbolically or directly.Nightmares can be transformed: Tools like imagery rehearsal therapy (IRT) and targeted dream incubation (TDI) help reframe bad dreams and reduce anxiety.Creative sweet spots exist: The moments just before sleep and after waking are powerful times to access ideas and insights.Apps like Elsewhere and Dust are using AI and sensory cues to guide dream themes, increase dream recall, and help reduce nightmares.Dreams act as a reframing tool: They reveal emotions and patterns we might not notice consciously—offering perspective, healing, and creative breakthroughs.Dream interpretation isn’t one-size-fits-all: Karen uses Freudian, Jungian, and personal approaches to reflect on her dreams from multiple angles.BioKaren van Kampen is a Canadian science writer and the author of The Golden Cell: Gene Therapy, Stem Cells, and the Quest for the Next Great Medical Breakthrough. Her work has appeared in publications like The Globe and Mail and National Post. She’s currently writing The Brain Never Sleeps (Simon & Schuster, 2026), a deep dive into the science of dreams, memory, and emotional health. Karen explores how our dream lives intersect with well-being, using both cutting-edge research and personal experimentation.S6 E23: Think Your Dreams Are Meaningless? Here’s Why They Might Be the Key to Resilience, Emotional Balance & Mental Wellbeing.Website: https://www.karenvankamSupport the showSign up for the weekly IT'S AN INSIDE JOB NEWSLETTER takes 5 seconds to fill out receive a fresh update every Wednesday

Get in touch with us! We’d appreciate your feedback and comments. "Denying your body complete acceptance well it can actually lead to illness whereas practicing self-acceptance well that can contribute to healing disease."Unlock the power of self-acceptance for a happier, healthier life. This episode explores how embracing your body exactly as it is can transform your well-being and allow you to live life without reservation.rWhat if fully accepting your body, with all its perceived imperfections, is the key to unlocking true happiness and a life lived without limits?Key Takeaway Insights and ToolsThe Power of Acceptance: True acceptance is embracing what life presents, and your body is a profound teacher for this lesson. (1:51)Body Image and Self-Worth: Many people use their body as a primary target for harsh judgments and a barometer for self-worth, which limits experiences. (2:23)Mind-Body Connection: Accepting your body is vital for both emotional and physical health; denial can lead to illness, while acceptance can contribute to healing. (3:20)Self-Improvement vs. Self-Criticism: The drive for physical improvement is healthy only if it stems from self-love and acceptance, not a feeling of inadequacy. (4:42)The "Love, Change, Accept" Principle: Love all parts of yourself; if you can't love them, change them; if you can't change them, then accept them as they are. (6:01)Your Choice is Powerful: You can choose the ease of acceptance over the pain of rejection regarding your physical self, as your perception doesn't change reality. (6:40)Make sure to hit that subscribe button to catch all future episodes and help spread the word!Homework for the ListenerConsider this question: What aspect of your physical self are you not fully accepting right now? And what small step can you take towards embracing it with more kindness, with more acceptance? Support the showSign up for the weekly IT'S AN INSIDE JOB NEWSLETTER takes 5 seconds to fill out receive a fresh update every Wednesday

Get in touch with us! We’d appreciate your feedback and comments. "Technology isn't the hard part. Getting people to see the value and change behaviour—that’s the challenge." - Jannicke BirkevoldIn this episode, innovation expert Jannicke Birkevold unpacks how emerging technologies like AI, quantum computing, and digital ID systems are reshaping society and business. Learn what makes innovation succeed in the real world—and why psychological safety and timing are non-negotiables for impact.Is your organisation built to survive disruption—or drive it?Key Takeaway Insights and Tools (with Timestamps):Innovation Requires Psychological SafetyInnovation flourishes when people feel safe to fail, question, and iterate. Leadership support is essential to create this space. [33:26]Disruption Is About Timing, Not Just TechThe success of VIPS (Norway's mobile payment system) hinged on simplicity, customer value, and market timing—not just the app itself. [19:15]Don’t Build Everything—Partner StrategicallyThe IDme project succeeded by collaborating with specialized partners for fraud detection and passport verification.[30:44]Innovators Need Organizational ChampionsWithout buy-in from top leadership, most innovation efforts stagnate. Managers must advocate for long-term thinking—even in quarterly-driven cultures.[35:51]Internal Conflict Can Kill InnovationNew solutions may threaten existing revenue streams. Reframing innovation as a protective move—before competitors disrupt—helps reduce resistance.[39:39]Bio:Jannicke Birkevold is an experienced leader and Innovation Expert with over 20 years of experience working at the intersection of technology, business, and customers. She has a passion for new tech. Jannicke has a proven track record in project management and the delivery of new products to market. She was recognised among Norway's Top 50 Women in Tech by Abelia/ODA.Throughout her career, Jannicke has held several managerial and professional positions within DNB, including head of digital inovation and leading the internal StartUp IDmee. Before joining DNB, she worked on IT and innovation projects in the Norwegian Tax Administration and has experience from the media industy and voluntary organizations. Her extensive experience spans strategy, technology, compliance, and customer-focused initiatives.Jannicke has broad leadership experience, having led specialists and professionals in technology and product field. She also enjoys delving deeply into subject areas in roles that involve professional responsibility and subject matter expert.Her commercial mindset is focused on creating value for both customers and the company. Jannicke's personal qualities include a direct style, easy-going nature, a sense of humour, and lots of enthusiasm.LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jannicke-birkevold-9807843/Support the showSign up for the weekly IT'S AN INSIDE JOB NEWSLETTER takes 5 seconds to fill out receive a fresh update every Wednesday

Get in touch with us! We’d appreciate your feedback and comments. "When we push with purpose, respect, and curiosity, not defiance, we often find those lines aren't lines at all. They're simply assumptions, beliefs, sometimes inherited, sometimes outdated, sometimes just plain wrong."Discover how recognising and respectfully challenging "invisible lines"—unspoken rules and assumptions—can unlock innovation, improve team dynamics, and boost personal growth. Learn to identify and question these hidden boundaries for a more positive mindset and effective leadership.Have you ever hesitated to speak up or try something new, only to realize the "rule" preventing you wasn't even real?Key Takeaway Insights and ToolsInvisible lines are unspoken, assumed boundaries that shape our behavior and can block innovation. These are not formal rules but cultural norms or inherited beliefs that everyone quietly follows. (0:39)Challenging invisible lines with purpose, respect, and curiosity can reveal they are often just assumptions.Often, these "lines" dissolve when someone respectfully questions their existence. (2:03)The cost of not asking questions about invisible boundaries is significant. Silence breeds frustration, isolates people, and leads to quiet disengagement, causing teams to lose their edge. (4:52)Real learning happens through "friction" and "experience," not static belief. Actively testing perceived boundaries allows for dynamic learning and feedback. (5:13)Challenge for the Week: Identify a boundary you've accepted without question in your work or team. Approach it with genuine inquiry, asking "why" or if an alternative has been explored, starting with low-consequence situations. (6:59)If this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone in your network who might find it useful and hit that subscribe button!Support the showSign up for the weekly IT'S AN INSIDE JOB NEWSLETTER takes 5 seconds to fill out receive a fresh update every Wednesday

Get in touch with us! We’d appreciate your feedback and comments. “We celebrate people who burn out and call it resilience. But real resilience is knowing when to pause, when to speak up, and when to take care of yourself.” - Natalie Armstrong Nurse and trauma-informed leader Natalie Armstrong shares practical ways to support neurodivergent employees and build resilient, inclusive workplaces.Have you ever sensed something was off with a colleague—but couldn’t quite name it? Maybe they shut down in meetings, avoid conflict, or seem overwhelmed by simple feedback. It’s easy to chalk it up to attitude or performance. But what if it’s something deeper—like unrecognized trauma or neurodiversity?In this episode, I sit down with Natalie Armstrong, a trauma-informed workplace consultant, neurodiversity advocate, and NHS nurse leader. Together, we explore how trauma and neurodivergence quietly shape behavior at work—and how leaders can foster safer, more inclusive environments by tuning into the human side of performance.Natalie shares her personal story of navigating ADHD, trauma, and burnout, and how it shaped her into a compassionate, people-first leader. She walks us through real scenarios, signals to look out for, and the small but powerful adjustments that help people—especially high performers—thrive on their terms.Whether you’re a leader, colleague, or someone navigating these challenges yourself, this episode offers a roadmap toward psychological safety, resilience, and more human leadership.BioNatalie Armstrong is a UK-based trauma-informed workplace consultant, neurodiversity advocate, and NHS nurse leader. With lived experience of ADHD and complex trauma, she helps organizations create inclusive, psychologically safe cultures. Her work focuses on supporting neurodivergent individuals through flexible leadership practices, emotional intelligence, and education that drives organizational resilience.Email: [email protected]: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nataliearmstrongconsultancy/Key TakeawaysNeurodiversity includes ADHD, autism, dyslexia, dyspraxia—each with unique processing styles.Labels can help, but they can also limit. Focus on how people process, not what they’re labeled.Trauma responses in the workplace may look like people-pleasing, shutting down, or avoiding conflict.Leaders don’t need to diagnose trauma—they need to create environments that reduce harm and build safety.Masking is a hidden cause of burnout for many neurodivergent employees.Practical strategies include offering flexible schedules, quiet workspaces, opt-out options for triggering content, and stand-up-friendly meetings.Support over blame is essential—especially for those with histories of shame or trauma.Trust is built when leaders model vulnerability, admit mistakes, and lead with curiosity instead of judgment.Resilience is not about pushing through; it's about knowing your limits and building systems that support recovery.If you found this episode valuable, share it with someone who needs to hear it. And if you’re a regular listener, I’d love it if you posted about the show on LinkedIn or Instagram to help spread theSupport the showSign up for the weekly IT'S AN INSIDE JOB NEWSLETTER takes 5 seconds to fill out receive a fresh update every Wednesday

Get in touch with us! We’d appreciate your feedback and comments. Most people don’t like conflict. But some fear it so much they avoid it entirely—and that avoidance can quietly erode communication, teamwork, and leadership.In this BiteSize Fridays episode of It’s an Inside Job, I unpack the fear of conflict through the experience of Michael, a thoughtful senior financial analyst who avoided disagreement at all costs. His calm exterior masked deep discomfort. But when team dynamics and innovation began to suffer, he realized: his fear wasn’t protecting peace—it was preventing progress.Through Michael’s journey, we explore how the contrarian mindset helps us see conflict not as something to fear, but as a powerful doorway to truth, trust, and meaningful growth.Perfect for You If You’re Asking:Why do I always shut down when tension rises?How can I stay composed during tough conversations?Is there a way to be direct without being combative?How do I stop mistaking silence for harmony?What You’ll Learn in This EpisodeWhy avoiding conflict can do more harm than goodHow to recognize when conflict is a signal, not a threatSimple techniques to stay grounded in tense situationsHow to build deeper trust and psychological safety through open dialoguePractical tools to turn discomfort into clarity and connectionIf you find yourself retreating from conflict to “keep the peace,” this episode gives you the mindset and skills to lean in—gently, intentionally, and powerfully.Contrarian Strategies from This EpisodePractice quiet courageCourage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes it means staying present when your instinct is to flee. Small acts of honesty can reshape a team dynamic.Build social bridgesAsk open, curious questions. Hold space for differing perspectives. You don’t need all the answers—you just need to create room for real ones to emerge.Embrace obstacles as opportunitiesThat gut feeling of discomfort? It’s a clue. When handled with care, conflict reveals what matters most—and where the real breakthroughs live.Focus on reality, not emotional realityName the emotion. Acknowledge the tension. Then anchor in what’s actually been said—not what fear wants you to hear.Practice equanimityStay steady in the storm. Use breath, grounding questions, and calm body awareness to remain present—even when things get hard. That presence is contagious.Support the showSign up for the weekly IT'S AN INSIDE JOB NEWSLETTER takes 5 seconds to fill out receive a fresh update every Wednesday