The Sexual Development Model (SDM): A New Perspective on Unwanted Sexual Attraction

In this powerful live demo, John Kilmer guides Drew Boa in parts work focused on Drew's addiction to screens. This episode is an example of Manly Monday, one of the weekly HMA Coaching Calls. Learn more and join HMA this week only at joinHMA.com.John Kilmer is a Mental Health Life Coach, Occupational Therapist, and Certified Husband Material Coach. He's a grateful follower of Jesus who is passionate about men's inner healing work. Learn more about John at relaxedcaregiver.com.The doors to HMA are open!Enroll now at JoinHMA.comSupport the showTake the Husband Material Journey... Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy Thanks for listening!

What is shame? How does evil use shame against us, and what does healing look like? Dr. Curt Thompson explores shame through the lens of Scripture, neuroscience, and spiritual formation in community. Stay until the end to hear how Jesus meets us in our shame. What a beautiful conversation!Dr. Curt Thompson is a compassionate psychiatrist who weaves together an understanding of interpersonal neurobiology (IPNB) and a Christian view of what it means to be human. Through Curt's workshops, books, private clinical practice, and other platforms, he helps people fully experience our deepest longing: to be known. Learn more at curtthompsonmd.comMore resources by Curt Thompson:The Being Known PodcastConfessional CommunitiesThe Soul Of Shame (book)All books by Curt ThompsonThe doors to HMA are open!Enroll now at JoinHMA.comSupport the showTake the Husband Material Journey... Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy Thanks for listening!

Are you afraid that processing your sexual fantasies might lead to a relapse? Do you have concerns based on your understanding of the Bible? Does your wife have concerns? In this episode, you'll hear three reasons why processing your sexual fantasies can feel threatening, and what it looks like to do this work safely.Register now for the Sexual Fantasy Workshop: HMA In A Day (Saturday, July 12) at husbandmaterial.com/workshopExamples of safely processing sexual fantasies:Unburdening Sexual Arousal (Dr. Peter Malinoski working with Drew Boa)The Guy In The Locker Room (Drew Boa working with Jordan Castille)How To Analyze A Sexual Fantasy (Drew Boa and Dr. Doug Carpenter working with each other)The insights on how to support your spouse's individual recovery and protect your marriage came from Stephen Thomas Consulting.The doors to HMA are open!Enroll now at JoinHMA.comSupport the showTake the Husband Material Journey... Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy Thanks for listening!

Do you find yourself more susceptible to sexual temptation while traveling? Jake Kastleman helps you prepare to for the challenges of trips, vacations, and other disruptions to your daily routine—especially during the summer. You'll get tips on setting healthy expectations, creating structure while letting go of perfectionism, and preventing relapse.Jake Kastleman is a porn addiction recovery coach and the founder of No More Desire. He holds a degree in Psychology from Utah Valley University. Now over 10 years sober from porn, Jake coaches men one-on-one across the world using a multi-dimensional approach rooted in neuroscience, psychology, parts work, emotional mindfulness, and spiritual growth. His work helps men not just quit porn, but overcome the root causes of cravings and reclaim their purpose and connection to what matters most.Learn more and connect with Jake:No More Desire (Intensive Porn Addiction Recovery)The 8 Keys to Lose Your Desire for Porn (Free Workshop)10 Quick Mental Techniques to Stop Porn Cravings (Free eBook)The doors to HMA are open!Enroll now at JoinHMA.comSupport the showTake the Husband Material Journey... Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy Thanks for listening!

When one person has a history of same-sex attraction and another has a history of relying on porn, how is a Christ-centered marriage possible? Christy and Mark Summers tell their incredible story, both individually and as a couple.Christy and Mark Summers are the co-founders of Redeemed Seasons Ministries, where they care for and support Christian men and women seeking healing and wholeness through Jesus in their relationships, their identity, and their sexuality. Christy and Mark offer one-on-one and couple-to-couple soul care and spiritual direction. They also facilitate support groups for family and friends of LGBTQ-identified loved ones. Learn more at redeemedseasons.orgResources from Redeemed Seasons:Rescue & Restoring (free 12-week healing & discipleship course)At My Right Hand (support group for family & friends of LGBTQ loved ones)Spiritual Direction (request an appointment)Other ministries mentioned in this episode:Restored Hope NetworkLiving Waters (Desert Stream Ministries)The doors to HMA are open!Enroll now at JoinHMA.comSupport the showTake the Husband Material Journey... Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy Thanks for listening!

Do you feel confused or overwhelmed by trying to understand unwanted sexual attraction from a Christian perspective? In this episode, you'll hear the strengths and limitations of Side A, Side B, Side X, Side Y—and a new perspective on unwanted sexual attraction: the Sexual Development Model (SDM).Download the Sexual Development Model chart at https://husbandmaterial.com/sdmReferenced in this episode:Differing Views on Christian Doctrine, Identity, and Homosexuality by Jason Thompson (chart)The 5 Streams: Differing Responses To LGBTQ by Linda Seilor (chart)How My Sexual Fetish Shifted Over Time (podcast) by Drew BoaHealthy vs. Unhealthy Sexual Development (DVD) by Clifford and Joyce PennerThe doors to HMA are open!Enroll now at JoinHMA.comSupport the showTake the Husband Material Journey... Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy Thanks for listening!

What is breathwork and how can it help you outgrow porn? Burke Atkerson masterfully explains the value of breathwork by drawing from Christian spirituality, neuroscience, and powerful personal experiences.  If you stay until the end, you'll learn an extremely effective breathing technique called the physiological sigh. I loved this episode and I know you will, too.Burke Atkerson is the founder of Fire Nights and Men Fully Alive. He is an author, coach, and breathwork instructor—as well as a recovering addict, a failed missionary, and an undeserving husband and a grateful father of six.Buy Burke's book, Fire Nights: Forging Brotherhood That Heals.Learn more and connect with Burke at menfullyalive.com.Register now for the Husband Material Retreat at https://husbandmaterial.com/retreat!The doors to HMA are open!Enroll now at JoinHMA.comSupport the showTake the Husband Material Journey... Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy Thanks for listening!

In this episode, Burke Atkerson tells his story. You'll hear how he sexualized the need to be seen, safe, and soothed—and nearly burned down his marriage. In the ashes, Burke finally found the community that he didn't realize he needed. Fire Nights is his response to the loneliness epidemic plaguing men.Burke Atkerson is the founder of Fire Nights and Men Fully Alive. He is an author, coach, and breathwork instructor—as well as a recovering addict, a failed missionary, and an undeserving husband and a grateful father of six.Buy Burke's book, Fire Nights: Forging Brotherhood That Heals.Join the movement of men building authentic brotherhood in their backyards at firenights.net.Learn more and connect with Burke at menfullyalive.com.The doors to HMA are open!Enroll now at JoinHMA.comSupport the showTake the Husband Material Journey... Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy Thanks for listening!

Learn twenty ways running or walking can help you outgrow porn. I’m super passionate about this!Join Husband Material on Strava for encouragement and motivation to exercise: https://strava.app.link/Se2l3eYhuTbThe doors to HMA are open!Enroll now at JoinHMA.comSupport the showTake the Husband Material Journey... Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy Thanks for listening!

What does it mean to objectify yourself? Sam Jolman explains objectification, why and how we objectify ourselves, and what healing and repentance can look like. Sam Jolman (MA, LPC) is a trauma therapist with over twenty years of experience specializing in men’s issues and sexual trauma recovery. His writing flows out of this unique opportunity to help people know and heal their stories, and find greater sexual wholeness and aliveness. He received his master’s in counseling from Reformed Theological Seminary and was further trained in Narrative Focused Trauma Care through the Allender Center at The Seattle School of Theology and Psychology. Sam lives in Colorado with his wife and three sons. Fun fact: Sam and Drew attend the same church! Learn more at samjolman.comBuy Sam's book: The Sex Talk You Never Got: Reclaiming the Heart of Masculine SexualityWrite a review of The Sex Talk You Never Got: https://amazon.com/review/create-review?&asin=1400243904Listen to Sam's first Husband Material interview: It's Good To Be Aroused (with Sam Jolman)The doors to HMA are open!Enroll now at JoinHMA.comSupport the showTake the Husband Material Journey... Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy Thanks for listening!