Episode 13: Jerry Thomas is a F*cking Fraud

Platty and the Admiral riff on eating local as they toast the end of season one with Chef Alfred Portale at Gotham Bar and Grill.

What happens when your doctor is yelling "MAYDAY" and you're eating 10,000 calories of Peking Duck per day for work? Adam Platt sought a nutritionist to help him drop the weight while keeping his job. A celebrity dietitian named Tanya Zuckerbrot took up the challenge. Now forty pounds down, we have Tanya on the show to discuss the F-Factor Diet. Meanwhile, The Admiral is concerned: has Platty has joined a cult?

The Admiral declares breakfast to be the pinnacle of everyday luxury. Platty, however, is skeptical of this claim - until he gets to thinking about merry old England...

Platty and the Admiral marvel at the latest frontiers in meatless patty innovation. Is "veggie burger" even the right phrase for the modern version of this hippie classic? Plus: Platty tells you his top seven choices for where to find the best veggie burger (or whatever you want to call them).

New York's famed Four Seasons restaurant is closing, which has Platty waxing nostalgic, and the Admiral rolling his eyes.

Larry Olmsted, author of "Real Food, Fake Food," joins Platty and the Admiral at Frankie's 457 to scare the living daylights out of them with tales of fake steak, suspicious sushi, and tomato tomfoolery. By the end, our heroes are no longer certain they can confidently enjoy the gourmet meatballs on their plates - or anything else they ever plan to consume, for that matter.

Restaurants are realizing they can put themselves on the map with an innovative approach to the classic burger. But it's not as simple as it sounds to create a burger that truly creates what Platty calls "burger zombies." He and the Admiral once again venture to Brooklyn to sample the fare at Emily, which is ostensibly a pizza restaurant, but is best known for its burger, an incredible blend of dry-aged beef, caramelized onions, and the mysterious "Emmy Sauce."

Despite his persistent protestations that lists are lame, Platty is prodded into announcing his picks for NYC's five best dining spots.

Platty is initially unsure if the trek out to Williamsburg will be worth it, but once he gets his bearings, he and Alan are greeted with overflowing dishes of next-wave Italian home cooking from chef Albert Di Meglio, owner of the brand-new restaurant Barano. Open just over a month, Barano exemplifies the latest wave of innovation in Italian cuisine: classic family recipes polished with the virtuosic finesse of master craftsmen like Di Meglio, who positively bowls our heroes over with plate after plate of his creations.

Platty (aka "Tokyo Platty") and the Admiral travel to the Lower East Side for a crash course in the myths and legends of cocktail history. Their professor for the afternoon is Giuseppe Gonzalez, proprietor of the Suffolk Arms and proud inventor of sour mix (kind of), who reminds our heroes that "classic cocktails" aren't always what they seem.NOTE: This episode contains explicit language.