What Is Differentiation? | Anxiety Series #2

Scrupulosity, or religious perfectionism/OCD, can be debilitating for both individuals and couples. The belief that unless you do everything right, keep all the rules, are perfectly obedient, and live according to God's will... something terrible will happen. This episode with perfectionism expert, Dr. Menije explores how our anxiety leaks out into our spiritual life.  She provides some great examples of what scrupulosity can look like, and what we can do about it.

In order to master your anxiety, you must become differentiated. Differentiation is the ability to separate your thoughts from your feelings, and to separate your own thoughts and feelings from the thoughts and feelings of others. This is a practice you will be working on for the rest of your life. Today's episode will introduce you to the first part of differentiation, and give you some first steps to start calming yourself down.

Friendship is the foundation of your marriage. If you can't be a good friend to people outside your marriage, it's unlikely you'll be a good friend to your partner. Also, friendships outside your marriage are CRUCIAL for the survival of your relationship. Your community is your bedrock. In today's episode, I talk to the author of the new book, "," Adam Smiley Powsolwky. We talk about why friendship is important, and give a bunch of ideas of how to cultivate more meaningful friendships.

Some people have relationships that just look so easy, so smooth, and so natural. How do they do it? Are they just lucky? Or are they doing something that everyone else is missing? In this episode, I sit down with John and Ana Mann, authors of the book "The Go-Giver Marriage." This interview (and their book) uncomplicates love and marriage in a really beautiful way. I hope you give it a listen, and check out their new book at: HTTP://gogivermarriage.com

Affairs are more common than you'd think. Roughly 50% of marriages are faced with some sort of infidelity at some point during their relationship. So... what do you do if you're caught up in an affair? What do you say if you've fallen hard for someone that's not your partner? How do you respond if your spouse just told you they've been cheating? How can you recover? That's what we're going to talk about in this episode with Kimberly Holmes from Marriage Helper.

Were you ever told that "Becoming One" was the ultimate goal in marriage? Or if you put your partner's needs before your own (and if they do the same) your relationship would flourish? Every day I see people who buy into these nice-sounding mindsets, only to watch their marriage slowly crumble. If you are: A fixer... Or you avoid negative emotions because you think they're bad... Or you find yourself turning to things like porn, video games, social media, or workaholism... Or you really struggle to ask for what you want... Or you're subtly dishonest and manipulative... You should check out the  right now. There are only a few spots left, and doors close in a few days.

Dr. Robert Glover says,"Nice Guy Syndrome represents a belief that if Nice Guys are 'good,' they will be loved, get their needs met, and live a problem-free life. When this life strategy fails to produce the desired results — as it often does — Nice Guys usually just try harder, doing more of the same. Due to the sense of helplessness and resentment this pattern inevitably produces, Nice Guys are often anything but nice." Today, I sit down with 2 other recovering Nice Guys and talk about the toll Nice Guy Syndrome had on our relationships and some of the things we've done to try to get better. If you need help overcoming Nice Guy Syndrome, check out the . Spots are limited, so apply soon!

Is your partner checked out, no longer invested, withdrawn, or distant? Do you want to know what you can do to change them? To re-engage them? To get them invested in the marriage again? In this episode, I'll show you how the concepts of animal training can be utilized to help you take responsibility for your actions, words, and thoughts to influence change – and even transformation in your partner. The results often take time, but the proof is in the pudding: If you're truly committed, you can change your partner, and change your marriage... simply by changing yourself. 🙋‍♂️ If you are a husband who wants to experience how this works, apply for the Epic Husbands Experiment here: 🙋‍♀️ If you are a wife who wants to experience how this works, start the Epic Wives Experiment today:

This is the full, unedited version of my interview with Dr. Menije, the Queen of Perfectionism.

Perfectionism will ruin your happiness and fulfillment in life and in your relationships. Perfectionism is NOT a good thing. It's often a symptom of deeper issues, like depression, anxiety, or OCD. Check out this clip with Dr. Menije, the queen of perfectionism, to better understand what perfectionism is, why it's harmful, and what we can do about it!