Unmasking the Narcissist

What makes someone capable of killing the person they claim to love? Dr. David Adams has spent over four decades searching for answers by interviewing both survivors and perpetrators of intimate partner violence.As co-founder of Emerge, the world's first counseling program for men who abuse women, Adams takes us behind the facade of abusive relationships to expose the calculated tactics abusers use to trap their victims. The patterns he's uncovered are chilling: 75% of men who eventually murdered their partners began with first-date sex, and the average courtship before moving in together was just three months. These aren't coincidences but deliberate strategies of control.Adams walks us through the four phases of abusive relationships—from the deceptive "honeymoon phase" of excessive attention and romance through escalating control, normalized violence, and ultimately deadly threats. Perhaps most disturbing is his revelation that many killers found "comfort" in knowing murder was an option if their partner tried to leave.Drawing from both professional expertise and personal tragedy (Adams lost his mother to domestic violence at age 17), this conversation offers rare insight into the minds of abusers while providing practical knowledge that could save lives. Whether you work in law enforcement, victim services, or simply want to understand the warning signs of dangerous relationships, this episode provides crucial information about how to recognize entrapment strategies before they turn deadly. 

What happens when the person who claims to love you systematically dismantles your sense of reality? Tiffany Tate, CEO of The Family Place in Dallas and a survivor of narcissistic abuse, bravely shares her story for the first time on this powerful episode.  "When you don't trust the thoughts that are in your head, that is very, very hard to recover from," Tiffany reveals, describing her decade-long journey through a relationship that left her constantly questioning her sanity. Despite her professional background as a licensed clinical social worker, she found herself trapped in the fog of manipulation, gaslighting, and emotional control—proof that narcissistic abuse can happen to anyone, regardless of education or awareness. The conversation cuts through the pop culture misuse of "narcissist" to clarify crucial distinctions: narcissist as a label, narcissism as a trait, and Narcissistic Personality Disorder as a clinical diagnosis requiring specific criteria. Tiffany explains how these behaviors escalate into abuse when consistently used to strip away a partner's independence and autonomy, often invisible to outsiders as narcissists masterfully present different faces to different audiences. For those currently navigating relationships with narcissistic partners, Tiffany offers practical strategies that saved her: the "gray rock technique" of minimal emotional response, limiting personal disclosures that could be weaponized, and anchoring through journaling to validate experiences when gaslit. She also discusses available therapeutic interventions and the complex challenges of treating narcissistic offenders, whose lack of empathy and insight make meaningful change difficult. This episode provides not just understanding but actionable resources for survivors, from recommended books and support communities to safety planning strategies. Whether you're questioning your own relationship dynamics or supporting someone who might be experiencing narcissistic abuse, this conversation offers validation, clarity, and pathways toward healing.

What happens when the person who claims to love you systematically dismantles your sense of reality? Tiffany Tate, CEO of The Family Place in Dallas and a survivor of narcissistic abuse, bravely shares her story for the first time on this powerful episode."When you don't trust the thoughts that are in your head, that is very, very hard to recover from," Tiffany reveals, describing her decade-long journey through a relationship that left her constantly questioning her sanity. Despite her professional background as a licensed clinical social worker, she found herself trapped in the fog of manipulation, gaslighting, and emotional control—proof that narcissistic abuse can happen to anyone, regardless of education or awareness.The conversation cuts through the pop culture misuse of "narcissist" to clarify crucial distinctions: narcissist as a label, narcissism as a trait, and Narcissistic Personality Disorder as a clinical diagnosis requiring specific criteria. Tiffany explains how these behaviors escalate into abuse when consistently used to strip away a partner's independence and autonomy, often invisible to outsiders as narcissists masterfully present different faces to different audiences.For those currently navigating relationships with narcissistic partners, Tiffany offers practical strategies that saved her: the "gray rock technique" of minimal emotional response, limiting personal disclosures that could be weaponized, and anchoring through journaling to validate experiences when gaslit. She also discusses available therapeutic interventions and the complex challenges of treating narcissistic offenders, whose lack of empathy and insight make meaningful change difficult.This episode provides not just understanding but actionable resources for survivors, from recommended books and support communities to safety planning strategies. Whether you're questioning your own relationship dynamics or supporting someone who might be experiencing narcissistic abuse, this conversation offers validation, clarity, and pathways toward healing.

When asked whether they'd rather be alone in the woods with a bear or a man, most women choose the bear - a startling reflection of how women perceive safety in modern America. Genesis CEO Jan Langbein joins host Maria MacMullin to explore this phenomenon and discuss the evolution of women's rights and domestic violence services as Genesis approaches its 40th anniversary.We open season 5 of Genesis The Podcast reflecting upon how far women's rights have come—and how fragile those gains remain. Within the lifetime of Jan Langbein, married women couldn't open bank accounts, take out loans, or travel internationally without a husband's permission. Marital rape wasn't recognized as a crime. Women earned just 59 cents on the dollar compared to men. The right to vote came to all women in America only relatively recently, with barriers like poll taxes deliberately designed to discourage women of color from voting well into the 1960s.Today, new threats loom on the horizon: proposals for one vote per household (cast by the man), efforts to repeal the 19th Amendment, and laws restricting women's healthcare access and freedom of movement. Drawing parallels to Margaret Atwood's "The Handmaid's Tale," Langbein warns that rights disappear gradually—like being in a "slowly heating bathtub"—if we fail to recognize warning signs and stand together.Despite decades of progress, Genesis currently must turn away 50 people seeking shelter daily due to lack of capacity. Langbein envisions expanding shelter services and creating a societal paradigm shift from asking "why doesn't she leave?" to "why does he abuse?" She reminds us that communities can never be safe if people aren't safe in their own homes.Join us for this thought-provoking exploration of women's equity, domestic violence, and the power of unity. Subscribe to Genesis the Podcast and follow us on social media to continue these crucial conversations about creating a safer world for everyone.

What happens when the only community you've ever known becomes your prison? When sacred teachings become weapons of control? Jo Lloyd Johnson takes us on a raw, unflinching journey through the hidden world of religious cults and the long path toward reclaiming personal autonomy.Growing up in what she eventually recognized as a cult environment, Jo experienced multiple layers of abuse – religious, spiritual, and sexual. Raised within a strict hierarchical structure where men held all power and women were expected to remain silent and submissive, Jo's childhood was shaped by what she calls "the umbrella of authority." Under this system, pastors claimed direct communication with God about their followers' lives, husbands controlled wives, and children had no voice at all.The damage of purity culture forms a central thread in Jo's story. As she powerfully explains, this toxic ideology taught her that her body was dangerous, that sexuality was shameful, and that women bear responsibility for men's thoughts and actions. For Jo, who experienced sexual assault at age six within the religious commune, these teachings were particularly devastating – leaving her wondering if she was already "tainted" before she could even understand what that meant.Jo's path to healing began with motherhood, when instinctive protection of her child sparked questions about her indoctrination. The real catalyst came when her husband was offered a position as a pastor – suddenly facing the reality of becoming what she had been "prophesied" to be, Jo realized she wanted something different for herself and her children. This awakening led her to examine her beliefs piece by piece, confront repressed memories, and ultimately forge her own path forward.Today, Jo channels her experiences into supporting other survivors through Louder Than Silence, an organization providing community and therapy for victims of sexual violence. Her story reminds us that healing isn't about forgetting – it's about transforming anger into constructive action and finding community that celebrates authenticity rather than demanding conformity.Listen and discover how sometimes, the most spiritual act is finding the courage to question everything you've been taught and create a new story – one where you belong not in a carefully tended garden, but in the wild, beautiful forest of your authentic self.

Could your kindness be putting you in danger? This eye-opening conversation with Laura Frombach and Joy Farrow reveals how predators don't actually look for weakness—they deliberately target kindness, empathy, and accommodation. In this episode, Laura Frombach shares her powerful personal story of growing up with generational domestic violence, watching her once very kind mother transform under years of abuse and coercive control. Her journey to understanding took 50 years, ultimately revealing that domestic violence doesn't just harm the victim physically—it fundamentally alters their psychology, creating a cage they cannot escape. Laura's technological background offers a fresh lens: women's safety intuition is hardware, but society installs politeness "software" that teaches us to override our natural protective instincts.Joy Farrow, drawing from her 28 years as a deputy sheriff, provides chilling examples of notorious predators who expertly hid behind respectable facades. From Larry Nassar to Ted Bundy, these individuals specifically targeted women who were empathetic, trusting, and unlikely to establish firm boundaries. This counterintuitive understanding challenges everything we thought we knew about victimhood.The conversation delivers practical "software updates" for women: speaking instincts aloud, rehearsing boundary-setting like CPR, making politeness optional rather than default, and surrounding yourself with boundary-respecting women. Most importantly, they help listeners recognize "fawning"—being nice out of fear—as a trauma response that keeps women vulnerable to manipulation.Whether you've experienced domestic violence firsthand or simply want to better protect yourself and loved ones, this conversation offers transformative insights about reclaiming your instincts and establishing boundaries without apology. Your kindness is a strength—but only when paired with clear boundaries that keep you safe.

The digital world has become a hunting ground where algorithms serve as silent recruiters, pulling vulnerable young men toward misogynistic ideologies at alarming speeds. This eye-opening conversation with experts Laura Frombach and Joy Farrow reveals the disturbing reality of how technology amplifies hatred against women and girls.When researchers created a fake social media account for a 16-year-old boy, the algorithm began serving misogynistic content within just 23 minutes. This isn't coincidence – it's systematic grooming at an algorithmic level. While human predators might take months to isolate and indoctrinate victims, today's AI-powered platforms accomplish the same goal with frightening efficiency through data-backed feedback loops that constantly refine their effectiveness.The most troubling aspect is how this online radicalization translates directly into real-world violence. We examine three chilling case studies where digital hate found deadly physical expression, including the notorious Isla Vista killings by Elliot Roger and the Parkland High School shooting. These weren't isolated incidents caused by individual pathology alone – they represent the culmination of algorithmic radicalization pathways that validate and amplify harmful ideologies.For parents, educators and concerned citizens, addressing this crisis requires immediate action. Our experts provide practical strategies for engaging with youth about their online activities, teaching comprehensive media literacy, and effectively intervening when someone shows signs of radicalization. Most importantly, they emphasize the need to "call out the content but call in the viewer" – recognizing that many drawn to toxic content are primarily seeking connection rather than hatred itself.

For decades, the path to healing from domestic violence trauma was long, arduous, and often incomplete. Laura Frombach's powerful journey demonstrates why that happens and how dramatically the path to healing has changed.Growing up with two alcoholic parents in a violent household, Laura witnessed her mother's startling transformation from a kind person to someone cruel and sadistic. Only decades later did Laura connect this personality shift to likely traumatic brain injury caused by her father's repeated abuse. This revelation came amid Laura's own struggles with alcoholism and recovery, including a devastating relapse after 16 years of sobriety and 20 years of talk therapy.The game-changer? Discovering that trauma lives not just in our thoughts but in our bodies. "I found out that trauma doesn't just live in your mind, it lives in your nervous system. It buries itself in your muscles, your gut and even your breath," Laura explains. Through body-based healing approaches like EMDR, somatic therapy, and breath work, Laura finally accessed and processed trauma that talk therapy had only helped her name but not feel.Joy Farrow, a retired deputy sheriff with 28 years of law enforcement experience, adds critical perspective on why this matters beyond individual healing. She explains how understanding trauma biology transforms how we respond to survivors: "For far too long we expected survivors to give clear, linear stories. But trauma scrambles the memory because it's stored in the body, not just the brain." This insight changes everything from how survivors testify to how quickly they can reclaim their lives.What took Laura 50 years might now be possible in months or years rather than decades. This offers profound hope to anyone who feels healing is out of reach. As Laura says, "As long as you are breathing, healing is never out of reach." Whether you're a survivor, support person, or helping professional, this episode provides vital information about cutting-edge trauma recovery approaches and why the body must be enlisted in the healing process. Listen now to discover how these breakthroughs are changing lives and offering new paths to recovery.

The battleground of family court has become a dangerous landscape for survivors of domestic violence and their children. When abusers wield the controversial theory of parental alienation syndrome as a weapon, protective parents often find themselves losing custody to the very people they're trying to escape.Ruth Guerreiro, Chief Clinical Officer of Genesis Women's Shelter & Support, pulls back the curtain on this troubling dynamic, explaining how a scientifically disputed theory from the 1980s continues to influence family court decisions with devastating consequences. We explore how protective behaviors—teaching children to recognize danger, set boundaries, and seek help—are frequently mischaracterized as attempts to "alienate" children from an abusive parent.The stakes couldn't be higher. Research shows children exposed to domestic violence face staggering long-term risks: they're 50 times more likely to abuse substances, 74 times more likely to commit violent crimes, and six times more likely to attempt suicide. When courts fail to recognize post-separation abuse tactics—using children as informants, undermining the protective parent's authority, or manipulating children psychologically—they inadvertently become accomplices in continued trauma.But there is hope. Ms. Guerreiro shares powerful insights about effective interventions that help children heal, including attachment therapy, trauma processing, and teaching critical thinking skills about healthy relationships. She offers practical guidance for rebuilding connection and stability, from creating family traditions to implementing consistent boundaries that counter the chaos of abuse.This episode challenges us to reconsider how we protect our most vulnerable citizens, advocating for family courts that prioritize children's safety above all else. Whether you're a survivor navigating custody issues, a professional working in family services, or simply concerned about child welfare, you'll come away with a deeper understanding of these complex dynamics and the tools needed to make a difference.

What happens when childhood trauma meets unwavering resilience? Katherine (Kat) Omo-Osagie's story answers this question with extraordinary power and grace.At just six years old, Kat witnessed unimaginable violence when her father shot her mother multiple times before taking his own life. Today, she stands tall as Miss Lewisville, a contestant in the 2025 Miss Texas pageant, a college scholar on a presidential scholarship, and a passionate mentor to young children finding their own paths.Kat takes us through her remarkable journey of healing - from the frightened child who lost her confidence in elementary school, to the middle schooler who was bullied when classmates discovered her family's experience through online searches, to the high achiever who still struggled with feeling "good enough" despite external success. With remarkable self-awareness, she articulates how trauma manifests differently throughout various life stages, creating new challenges even as she builds strength.The turning point came through pageantry, something Kat never imagined herself doing. Winning Miss Texas Teen in 2021 with her platform "Break the Cycle of Abuse" transformed the very story she once hid from into her greatest strength. "It was a really cool full circle moment to have this story of my family that was something I used to hide from...and then suddenly bring light to it and then have all this success because of it."Kat's philosophy, inherited from her resilient mother Stephanie Bond, that "adversity breeds success if you let it," shines through every aspect of her life. Her commitment to mentorship through Big Brothers Big Sisters reflects her desire to be for others what she needed as a child.This conversation isn't just about surviving domestic violence—it's about transforming pain into purpose and using your story to create ripples of positive change. As Kat eloquently puts it: "I never want to waste such a horrible thing that happened. If there can be good done with it..." Her journey reminds us that our deepest wounds can become our greatest gifts to the world.