Heated Rivalry: A Gay Therapist's Take on Romance, Fetishization & Visibility

Careers don't develop all at once — they unfold through psychological phases across the lifespan. And for gay men, that path often looks very different from the one straight men inherit. In this episode, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, maps the developmental stages of a gay man's career — from early achievement and identity formation, through ambition, visibility, and midlife reassessment, to senior authority, retirement, and legacy. Drawing on Erik Erikson's lifespan psychology and over 30 years of clinical experience, he explores why many gay men tie self-worth to performance, use work as a substitute for belonging, and experience midlife not as a crisis, but as a psychological review. If you've ever felt behind, over-identified with your career, or unsure what your next chapter is supposed to be, this episode offers a developmental lens that replaces shame with context — and confusion with clarity.

A gay therapist, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, examines the Heated Rivalry phenomenon—exploring why gay romance has gone mainstream, where visibility becomes fetishization, and what this cultural moment really means for gay men's identity, safety, and mental health.

Holidays can intensify loneliness, family tension, and emotional stress for many gay men. Therapist Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, explains why it's OK to hate the holidays and shares practical coping strategies—plus how the new year can become a turning point instead of a repeat.

What if real wealth isn't about money? In this episode, I explore the non-monetary wealth many gay men build over a lifetime—relationships, culture, wisdom, sexuality, and self-acceptance—and why it matters more than we think.

Why gay men struggle with compulsive phone use -- and how anxiety, comparison, and validation loops fuel it. Learn tools to heal and reconnect with real life.  

Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, gay men's specialist therapist, discusses the new movie, "Wicked: For Good" and its implications for gay men, in themes about silencing political voices, seeing things for what they are, and how to stay resilient during Trump 2.0 America.  

Many gay men fear psychiatric meds. Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, explains how the right medication can restore—not change—who you are, separating facts from stigma and myths about treatment and mental health.

Mid-life gay men still use apps like Grindr or Scruff; not just for sex, but for social connection, validation, and visibility.  Gay therapist Ken Howard, LCSW, CST explores desire, aging, open relationships, and how to use apps with intention instead of compulsion.

Why do gay men joke that "the Navy's the gayest branch" or "all Marines are bottoms"? In this episode, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, explores how these myths reflect cultural anxieties about masculinity, sexuality, and belonging. Through the Six Principles of Sexual Health and 30+ years of clinical experience, Ken examines how humor, fantasy, and identity intersect—and how gay men can move from stereotype to sexual self-empowerment.

"Post-nut clarity" isn't just a meme — it reflects real neurobiological and psychological shifts that affect how gay men experience sex, emotion, and judgment. Gay men's specialist psychotherapist Ken Howard, LCSW, CST explores this normal post-orgasmic process through the lens of CBT, psychodynamic theory, and the Six Principles of Sexual Health, showing how self-awareness can turn confusion or shame into sexual self-empowerment and integrity.