#257 Tina Chan: From Refugee Roads To A Calmer Mind

Tina Chan connects a refugee childhood, a high-pressure home, and traumatic births to the anxiety that later exploded into panic attacks. We talk through how therapy, practical tools, and a deeper view of God’s love shift fear into a steadier kind of freedom.• escaping Vietnam and reaching a Thailand refugee camp through danger and scarcity• early experiences of fear and hyper-independence in an immigrant household• shyness, insecurity, and the pressure of family disapproval while dating Matthew• premature births, NICU stress, and how trauma shapes a vigilant nervous system• first panic attacks, emergency calls, and learning what panic actually is• searching for relief through therapy, supplements, prayer, and cold grounding tools• moving from shame-based faith to assurance through the gospel lens of God’s kindness• defining freedom as living authentically before God and other people💰 DONATE & SUPPORT our Ministry: lovereality.org/give👍 LIKE us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/alovereality📷 FOLLOW us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/riyoung31/📚 LEARN more at our site: lovereality.orgJoin us for the best gathering on the internet, Internet Church. Every other Friday. Find out at www.lovereality.org/circles Continue growing with friends! Join a circle over at www.lovereality.org/circles

We trace Samuel’s journey from legalistic zeal and secret shame to a settled identity in Christ that produces real freedom and lasting change. A candid friend, a simple rule—believe God’s word over your life—and honest confession turn burden into peace.• growing up Adventist with sincere devotion and heavy performance pressure• school trauma, social isolation, and low self‑esteem shaping a rule‑first faith• leadership wins that hid a double life and deepening addiction• Brazil ministry, long prayers, and burnout exposing legalism• a friend’s hard truth becoming the turning point• hearing identity‑first gospel and letting the burden fall• moving from condemnation to confidence and steady transformation• confession in community replacing secrecy with light• practical freedom: thoughts challenged, shame silenced, habits changed💰 DONATE & SUPPORT our Ministry: lovereality.org/give👍 LIKE us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/alovereality📷 FOLLOW us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/riyoung31/📚 LEARN more at our site: lovereality.orgJoin us for the best gathering on the internet, Internet Church. Every other Friday. Find out at www.lovereality.org/circles Continue growing with friends! Join a circle over at www.lovereality.org/circles

We trace a life marked by grief, shame, and spiritual oppression to a restored marriage, steady identity in Jesus, and a practical way to stop being ruled by intrusive thoughts. We speak plainly about betrayal, depression, and the gospel that heals what effort and fear could not.• growing up in Alaska amid alcohol, violence, and loss• sister’s death shaping fear of abandonment and self-hate• early marriage, poverty, and surprising provision• betrayal, the crash, and sensing Jesus’ presence• counseling, separation, and a rebuilt friendship in marriage• breaking demonic oppression and naming depression• hearing gospel assurance beyond moral scorekeeping• practicing observer-mind and taking thoughts captive• refusing to carry blame that does not belong to us💰 DONATE & SUPPORT our Ministry: lovereality.org/give👍 LIKE us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/alovereality📷 FOLLOW us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/riyoung31/📚 LEARN more at our site: lovereality.orgJoin us for the best gathering on the internet, Internet Church. Every other Friday. Find out at www.lovereality.org/circles Continue growing with friends! Join a circle over at www.lovereality.org/circles

We trace Camille’s journey from childhood fear and college doubt to a practical, grace-filled approach to parenting. Identity in Christ, renewing the mind with Scripture, and simple practices transform shame, mom rage, and marriage strain into steady peace.• fear-led faith reshaped by Scripture• Peru breakthrough on Pharaoh and God’s wrath• union with Christ and freedom from sin in Romans• Alaska hardship, loss, and identity crisis• naming shame as the engine of mom rage• four-step reset after yelling to break cycles• rooting worth in Christ, not performance• rewiring triggers with verses and visualization• releasing control, gossip, and bitterness• speaking life: “describe what you see”• anger as a signal, not a master• training kids with Scripture and respectful disagreement• building contentment and truth-telling identities💰 DONATE & SUPPORT our Ministry: lovereality.org/give👍 LIKE us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/alovereality📷 FOLLOW us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/riyoung31/📚 LEARN more at our site: lovereality.orgJoin us for the best gathering on the internet, Internet Church. Every other Friday. Find out at www.lovereality.org/circles Continue growing with friends! Join a circle over at www.lovereality.org/circles

We trace Jon’s journey from image management to resting in God’s love, and how that shift reshapes marriage, ministry, and daily life. Shame loses power, identity settles, and love starts doing the work fear never could.• why behavior change without identity fails• living from no condemnation in Christ• how shame fuels both rebellion and pride• moving from judging to observing in relationships• marriage impacts of securing worth in God• assurance that doesn’t breed apathy• the Spirit’s role in real transformation• serving the Samoan community with gospel clarity• Jesus as the true picture of the Father• unity formed by the Spirit, not mere doctrine💰 DONATE & SUPPORT our Ministry: lovereality.org/give👍 LIKE us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/alovereality📷 FOLLOW us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/riyoung31/📚 LEARN more at our site: lovereality.orgJoin us for the best gathering on the internet, Internet Church. Every other Friday. Find out at www.lovereality.org/circles Continue growing with friends! Join a circle over at www.lovereality.org/circles

We trace Kevin’s path from a chaotic childhood and a volatile father to marriage struggles, porn as a coping mechanism, special-needs parenting, and a surprising breakthrough when the gospel finally lands. The story turns toward freedom, confession, and a rebuilt marriage rooted in grace.• Adventist roots and a home shaped by volatility and lectures• Seven-year church break and return through pastoral care• Marriage stress from silence and mismatched intimacy models• Porn as coping, failed quit cycles, and hidden shame• Birth of a son with Down syndrome and heavy caregiving• Burnout, depersonalization, and health crashes• A campfire revival where the good news becomes real• Confession, near collapse of the marriage, and a second chance• Grief for his father-in-law and renewed tenderness at home• Practical shifts in parenting, presence, and perspective💰 DONATE & SUPPORT our Ministry: lovereality.org/give👍 LIKE us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/alovereality📷 FOLLOW us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/riyoung31/📚 LEARN more at our site: lovereality.orgJoin us for the best gathering on the internet, Internet Church. Every other Friday. Find out at www.lovereality.org/circles Continue growing with friends! Join a circle over at www.lovereality.org/circles

We trace Izzy’s journey from anxious validation-seeking to a settled identity in Christ, moving from an “okay gospel” to real freedom where feelings serve rather than rule. Practical shifts around forgiveness, thought life, relationships, and provision show what abundance looks like day to day.• early family story and separation anxiety shaping control and people pleasing• feeling like an outsider at church and chasing validation at school• teen dating patterns, body image pressure, and conflict cycles• baptism and settling for an “okay gospel” without freedom• Annie’s mentorship making faith personal and embodied• Bees and Karen reframing identity, forgiveness, and feelings not being lord• practicing truth: holding thoughts captive and choosing the fruits of the Spirit• visible change in attitude, conflict, and joy in ordinary tasks• Link’s journey to shared belief and moving toward marriage• provision mindset shift, money anxiety easing, and redeemed time💰 DONATE & SUPPORT our Ministry: lovereality.org/give👍 LIKE us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/alovereality📷 FOLLOW us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/riyoung31/📚 LEARN more at our site: lovereality.orgJoin us for the best gathering on the internet, Internet Church. Every other Friday. Find out at www.lovereality.org/circles Continue growing with friends! Join a circle over at www.lovereality.org/circles

We share how a lifelong scorekeeping faith broke under the weight of grace and how salvation as a gift, not a contract, reshaped Verna’s story from control to freedom. The gospel shifts behavior from obligation to fruit, turning church culture into real communion.• upbringing in a strict, rule-focused faith culture• marriage, family conflict, and a move to Michigan• a welcoming church community and inclusive worship• parenting insights shifting from behavior to heart• resisting leadership roles due to performance fear• preaching that led to personal breakthrough in Scripture• salvation as gift versus debtor’s ethic and contracts• freedom, assurance, and a renewed identity in Christ• mentoring students and friends toward gospel clarity💰 DONATE & SUPPORT our Ministry: lovereality.org/give👍 LIKE us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/alovereality📷 FOLLOW us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/riyoung31/📚 LEARN more at our site: lovereality.orgJoin us for the best gathering on the internet, Internet Church. Every other Friday. Find out at www.lovereality.org/circlesJoin us for the best gathering on the internet, Internet Church. Every other Friday. Find out at www.lovereality.org/circles Continue growing with friends! Join a circle over at www.lovereality.org/circles

We trace Ariana’s path from a small-town church and a turbulent home to anxiety, addiction, striving, and finally a clear identity in Christ. A Friday night with Scripture and a single line—“feelings aren’t Lord”—becomes the hinge that shifts her marriage, her mind, and her future.• growing up Adventist in Mankato amid family alcoholism and divorce• public school pressures, validation through dating, and early boundaries with substances• academy years of rules, comparison, and a hunger for real faith• college loneliness, intentional dating, marriage, and vocational twists• hidden pornography struggle, cycles of confession, shame, and effort• long commutes with the Bible, reframing Old Testament lives, asking harder questions• testimonies and Wave clips leading to the key insight: feelings aren’t Lord• practicing truth-telling over stored lies and reframing identity in Christ• freedom from addiction, anxiety, and depression by rooting identity in Jesus• how marriage dynamics changed when identity shifted from feelings to Christ💰 DONATE & SUPPORT our Ministry: lovereality.org/give👍 LIKE us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/alovereality📷 FOLLOW us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/riyoung31/📚 LEARN more at our site: lovereality.orgJoin us for the best gathering on the internet, Internet Church. Every other Friday. Find out at www.lovereality.org/circles Continue growing with friends! Join a circle over at www.lovereality.org/circles

We share how a rule-shaped faith gave way to a Spirit-led life. Torie’s steady devotion and mission work collide with Jonathan’s raw honesty about addiction, and together we discover that grace, not effort, breaks chains and heals shame.• growing up Adventist, performance and reputation• mission years in Bolivia, language and leadership struggles• COVID challenges, visas, and resilience• Jonathan’s curiosity, partying, and rebaptism tension• legalism vs grace, confusion and burnout• the vulnerable email about porn and shame• gospel reframes in Romans and the epistles• freedom from law as Spirit-led life• community that feels like heaven on earth• loving counsel to our younger selves💰 DONATE & SUPPORT our Ministry: lovereality.org/give👍 LIKE us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/alovereality📷 FOLLOW us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/riyoung31/📚 LEARN more at our site: lovereality.orgJoin us for the best gathering on the internet, Internet Church. Every other Friday. Find out at www.lovereality.org/circles Continue growing with friends! Join a circle over at www.lovereality.org/circles