49: Good Grief

On October 29, 2019, Michelle Xue and her climbing partner, Jenny Shedden, set off to climb Red Slate Mountain in the Sierra Nevada when they were struck by rockfall and killed. This story is told through the lens of her dear friend, Artem.While all genres of climbing can be dangerous, alpine climbing is likely the most. These stories of loss pay tribute to loved ones, but beyond that, the life of an alpine climber is complex. They say, “What’s done in love, is done well.” But the passion for this sport creates a catch-22.The cold paradox of alpine climbing leaves loved ones behind, pondering the timeworn question: Why do we climb? Why choose to continue a sport when the risks encountered could mean death? Everyone will grieve in this lifetime. And everyone will experience loss. It’s a painful but normal part of the human experience, and the process of grief, though it moves, will move in cycles.This episode is in loving memory of Michelle Xue and Jenny Shedden.For the Love of Climbing is presented by Patagonia. Additional support is from deuter USA, Allez Outdoor, and Ocún.Music is licensed by Music Bed and Blue Dot Sessions.Read the transcript here.Catch up on podcast (pod-Kath?) updates and general life things: @inheadlightsThis podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. Because therapy is for everyone.FLC is public media which means we’re supported by listeners like you. Donate or become a patron in exchange for a warm, fuzzy feeling.

“Are you a good witch or a bad witch?” Glinda asked Dorothy when she crash-landed in Oz for the first time. The theory of everything is that every element has an opposite. And by this logic, if there are, in fact, “good moms”, then it would follow that there must also be “bad moms”. But it doesn’t really work that way because the system of measurement that dictates the “good mom” / “bad mom” status is fundamentally flawed.When Tracy became a newly-minted mom, she was determined to find a way to stick with climbing while she navigated all the new hurdles motherhood brings. As the dual identity of parent and climber becomes more common, we hope stories like Tracy’s won’t stand out.Tracy will always be a mom. But, she can also be a climber. She can hold one in each hand while we work to dismantle the notion that motherhood has to come at the price of one’s identity—instead of being integrated as a part of it.The mental construct that ping pongs back and forth between being “good” or “bad” traps moms and parents in a place of “not-enoughness”, when the fact of the matter is: you are.For the Love of Climbing is presented by Patagonia. Additional support is from deuter USA, Allez Outdoor, and Ocún.Music is by Chad Crouch. Additional music is licensed by Music Bed and Blue Dot Sessions.Read the transcript here.Catch up on podcast (pod-Kath?) updates and general life things: @inheadlightsThis podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. Because therapy is for everyone.FLC is public media which means we’re supported by listeners like you. Donate or become a patron in exchange for a warm, fuzzy feeling.

Addiction is the kind of topic where judgment is easy, and empathy is hard. Shame is at the core of addiction. It thrives best in secrecy when we feel most alone, and keeps stories like these hidden in the dark.Lucas spent years, bouncing and skidding off the bottom before sobriety. But you know what they say: every unconscionable low point has a silver lining. Before long-term recovery, you could find Lucas on the road climbing full-time. He was the guy who could wax poetic around a campfire about all types of beverages of any kind, any continent. While the conditions that preceded him to drink were probably always there, living out of his truck and reducing his life to just climbing and nature made him realize he was empty on a different level.For the Love of Climbing is presented by Patagonia. Additional support is from deuter USA, Allez Outdoor, and Ocún.Music is by Chad Crouch. Additional music is licensed by Music Bed and Blue Dot Sessions.Read the transcript here.Catch up on podcast (pod-Kath?) updates and general life things: @inheadlightsThis podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. Because therapy is for everyone.FLC is public media which means we’re supported by listeners like you. Donate or become a patron in exchange for a warm, fuzzy feeling.

This is Jess and Chelsea. They’re both climbers, they both live in Colorado. They both love dogs, and they’re forever inextricably tied together by these very common, uncomplicated things. They’re also forever connected because of this one very complicated big thing.In September of 2020, the climbing community lost Kris Ugarizza to suicide. Three years later, we’re sharing this story through the lens of two friends in order to promote more action and awareness on prevention.This podcast continues to work with Better Help to break down the stigma and persistent societal belief that mental health issues are a sign of weakness, and because everybody deserves a good support system, and sometimes that starts with one person. Go to betterhelp.com/climbing to find out more information about online therapy.If you’re having a crisis or thoughts of suicide, call or text 988 to reach the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.If you or someone you know is struggling, help is here.For the Love of Climbing is presented by Patagonia. Additional support is from deuter USA, Allez Outdoor, and Ocún.Music is licensed by Music Bed. Additional music is licensed by Blue Dot Sessions.Read the transcript here.Catch up on podcast (pod-Kath?) updates and general life things: @inheadlightsTherapy is for everyone: BetterHelpFLC is public media which means we’re supported by listeners like you. Donate or become a patron.

Amin has been climbing for over 23 years, starting in Shiraz, a historical city in Iran. In 2017, he moved to the U.S. to work as a head routesetter, and was shot in a senseless act of violence that critically injured him and shook friends and family to their core. The irony of growing up in the Islamic Republic of Iran and never being afraid of guns until he moved to America is...sobering.Today, Amin remains deeply engaged in advocacy for Iranian people, especially women. He believes the revolution is coming and is inspired by those who have put their lives on the line for change.This is part two of a two-part story.Visit GoFundMe.com/myshare4freedom to support those who have been directly affected during the Woman Life Freedom movement.Find Amin on Instagram at @amminabbasi for updates and more. Contact him if you’re willing and able to further amplify the voice of the Woman Life Freedom movement.For the Love of Climbing is presented by Patagonia. Additional support is from deuter USA, Allez Outdoor, and Ocún.Music is licensed by Music Bed. Additional music is licensed by Blue Dot Sessions.Read the transcript here.Catch up on podcast (pod-Kath?) updates and general life things: @inheadlightsThis podcast gets support from BetterHelp. Because therapy is for everyone.FLC is public media which means we’re supported by listeners like you. Donate or become a patron in exchange for a warm, fuzzy feeling.

Amin has been climbing for over 23 years, starting in Shiraz, a historical city in Iran. In 2017, he moved to the U.S. to work as a head routesetter, and was shot in a senseless act of violence that critically injured him and shook friends and family to their core. The irony of growing up in the Islamic Republic of Iran and never being afraid of guns until he moved to America is...sobering.Today, Amin remains deeply engaged in advocacy for Iranian people, especially women. He believes the revolution is coming and is inspired by those who have put their lives on the line for change.This is part one of a two-part story.Visit GoFundMe.com/myshare4freedom to support those who have been directly affected during the Woman Life Freedom movement.Find Amin on Instagram at @amminabbasi for updates and more. Contact him if you’re willing and able to further amplify the voice of the Woman Life Freedom movement.For the Love of Climbing is presented by Patagonia. Additional support is from deuter USA, Allez Outdoor, and Ocún.Music is licensed by Music Bed. Additional music is licensed by Blue Dot Sessions.Read the transcript here.Catch up on podcast (pod-Kath?) updates and general life things: @inheadlightsThis podcast gets support from BetterHelp. Because therapy is for everyone.FLC is public media which means we’re supported by listeners like you. Donate or become a patron in exchange for a warm, fuzzy feeling.

There are those who see grief as the final form of love—this one final act that we give to those we’ve lost. It’s also been said that it’s the price we pay for love, which is a funny way to look at it. But these two things unrelentingly go hand-in-hand.On September 2nd, 2021, Tara lost her dad to Covid. But…it's complicated. During that time, well-meaning folk comprised of climbers, liberal activists—even celebrities—condemned those who refused vaccination. Social media was filled with far-left and far-right criticism. Like we said—it’s complicated.A year and a half after officially joining the Dead Dad Club, Tara sent one of her hardest multi-year climbing projects. But this story isn't really about that...well, sorta."Grief is an insurmountable pain. But at the same moment, I acknowledge that it is also a reflection of love. And while the mountains feel like they are falling over me, and the waves crashing into me, I can simultaneously understand that it is a result of such deep love. It is all love." - TKThis episode is in memory of James Reynvaan.***Content warning: This episode discusses adoption, briefly mentions suicide, and contains discussion about Native American Boarding Schools. Take care of yourselves while listening and reach out for help if you need it.For the Love of Climbing is presented by Patagonia. Additional support is from deuter USA, Allez Outdoor, and Ocún.Music by Chad Crouch. Additional music is licensed by Music Bed and Blue Dot Sessions.Read the transcript here.Catch up on podcast (pod-Kath?) updates and general life things: @inheadlightsThis podcast gets support from BetterHelp. Because therapy is for everyone.FLC is public media which means we’re supported by listeners like you. Donate or become a patron in exchange for a warm, fuzzy feeling.

Civil discourse is a dying art, a complex practice that takes patience and well-rounded perspective to really master. Asking folks to be brave enough to make their convictions vulnerable means really listening, for both sides—it's not a one-way street. Surrounding ourselves with like-minded people is important to build community, but it doesn't mean that we should build walls to ignore opposition. That's not change. On an individual level, through clear and kind conversation, it's more possible than we think.GOP lawmakers are working aggressively to limit trans rights and there's a surge of anti-trans bills at the state level ahead of 2024. Supporters of these bills have a narrow-minded view of who trans people are, and this misinformation and disinformation abet more uncertainty and fear.Lex speaks to the importance of needing more people who aren't in danger to speak up and push back on anti-trans narrative while working toward a future where trans and genderqueer joy is a given and equality, representation, and inclusion aren't just buzzwords, but a glance backward at a stagnant past.Change is coming. Change is here. And trans people are undeniably the currents of these crucial changes, and for each other.For the Love of Climbing is presented by Patagonia. Additional support is from deuter USA, Allez Outdoor, and Ocún.Music is by Chad Crouch. Additional music is licensed by Music Bed. Sound effects by Jonathan Shaw.Read the transcript here.Catch up on podcast (pod-Kath?) updates and general life things: @inheadlightsTherapy is for everyone: Better HelpFLC is public media which means we're supported by listeners like you. Become a patron in exchange for a warm, fuzzy feeling.

Kids have a lot of questions when someone in their family is sick. But when you don't know to ask, certain things become the norm. In our parents' generation, bipolar disorder wasn't as widely talked about, nor given the compassionate treatment it deserves. Becca is changing that.Becca grew up with a dad who has bipolar disorder. She, herself, has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and her research exploring the effects of climbing on women with mental illness and trauma, and the ways it can be used to increase self-efficacy, resiliency, and locus of control is currently under academic review.For the Love of Climbing is presented by Patagonia. Additional support is from deuter USA, Allez Outdoor, and Ocún.Music is licensed by Music Bed.Read the transcript here.Catch up on podcast (pod-Kath?) updates and general life things: @inheadlightsTherapy is for everyone: Better HelpFLC is public media which means we're supported by listeners like you. Become a patron in exchange for a warm, fuzzy feeling.

Welcome back to the podcast. I’ve always been a huge advocate of change, but not always the good kind. Usually the “shake the snow globe, throw caution to the wind” chaotic kind. Lorca from episode sixteen, season three, sporadically sends a newsletter which, as a person who hates all newsletters because they melt me down into an unproductive diatribe about marketers who clearly have no regard for CAN-SPAM laws—I love receiving this one. This week’s newsletter subject line was “Resilience Loves…Change”:“People who want clearly are dangerous to the status quo. They are natural catalysts. Things will change around them.”Up next is our eleventh mini-episode which is comprised of audio you sent in, answering the question: “How did climbing change your life?”We’re always taking audio submissions and pitches. Contact us through our submission form on fortheloveofclimbing.com, and tune in next Monday, April first, for the first episode of season six.For the Love of Climbing is presented by Patagonia. Additional support is from deuter USA, Allez Outdoor, and Ocún.Music is by Chad Crouch. Additional music is licensed by Music Bed.Read the transcript here.Catch up on podcast (pod-Kath?) updates and general life things: @inheadlights.Therapy is for everyone: BetterHelpFLC is public media which means we’re supported by listeners like you. Become a patron in exchange for a warm, fuzzy feeling.