Why Don't I Feel Horny? How to get your sex drive back - Libido, Arousal, Hormones & Relationships

Got a k'nky fantasy you're too embarrassed to ask about? Wondering what your desires mean, how to explore them, or how to bring them up with a partner without making things awkward? 👀 In this episode of Come Curious, Reed - seggs educator, seggs worker and ki'nk and f3tish specialist - answers your questions about the wonderfully weird world of k'nk. From discovering what turns you on to navigating taboo fantasies and negotiating boundaries, we're getting into the things you might be Googling in private. We get into: K'nk vs f3tish: What's the difference, and when does a fantasy become an essential part of your seggs life? Discovering your desires: How to explore new turn-ons, experiment with fantasies and figure out what you're into. Controversy: Navigating a controversial fantasy through trust, consent and honest communication. Cuckolding: How to discuss a partner's desires, set boundaries and avoid resentment. Talking about k'nk: How to have open, non-judgemental conversations about what you want in the bedroom. Listener stories: Anonymous confessions featuring roleplay, power exchange, sensory play and food play. Plus, we discuss seggual health, STI testing and condoms. Whether you're a curious beginner or a seasoned k'nky fcker, this episode is your reminder that having questions is normal, exploring is personal, and consent and communication are always the hottest things in the room. 📍 Come and see Reed in London: At Your Own Risk - kinky market social, 29 November 2026 Ticklethusiasm - 12 December 2026 Come curious. Leave with a few more things to think about. Watch the full video, see exclusive content and support the podcast over on ⁠⁠⁠Patreon ⁠⁠⁠ Follow us on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠@comecurious⁠⁠⁠ and DM us your questions, stories and voicenotes! Follow Florence ⁠⁠⁠@florencebark⁠⁠⁠ Follow Reed ⁠⁠⁠@reedamberx⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why don't I feel horny anymore? And is there actually anything you can do to get your sex drive back? In this episode of Come Curious, Florence and Reed dive into the surprisingly complicated world of libido, low sex drive and sexual desire - and why feeling less horny doesn't necessarily mean there's something wrong with you. From hormones and medication to stress, relationships, parenthood and mental health, we unpack the many reasons your libido can change throughout your life. We get into: - Why around 1 in 4 couples experience mismatched libidos - How antidepressants, hormonal birth control and other medications can affect desire - How stress, exhaustion, mental load, body image and emotional safety can put the brakes on sex - Why pregnancy, breastfeeding and parenthood can dramatically change your sex drive - How trauma, shame, upbringing and neurodivergence can influence desire - Why asexuality isn't the same thing as having no interest in pleasure or masturbation - Why you don't always have to wait until you're spontaneously horny to start exploring desire And we finish with our four-step toolkit for getting your sex drive back: from identifying what's actually killing your libido to rebuilding your erotic world and making sex easier to want. PLUS: We're giving a big shout out to CHEEX which you can try free for 7 days! Use code 7COME at getcheex.com T&Cs: New customers get a 7-day free trial of the annual membership (£9.90/month, billed £118.80 annually). Cancel anytime during the trial or switch to monthly (£19.90/month). You won't be charged until the trial ends. Offer valid for new customers only, on the annual membership only, and when redeemed with code 7COME. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Motherhood changes you. Your body, your brain, your relationships, your priorities — sometimes even your sense of who the fuck you are. In this episode, Florence gets brutally honest about the reality of becoming a new mum, from postpartum anxiety and breastfeeding to body changes, sex after birth and the pressure to somehow “bounce back”. We get into: The enormous identity shift that comes with becoming a mother Postpartum anxiety, mental health and why we need to talk about it Breastfeeding, body changes and the judgement new mums face Sex after birth, low libido, pain and learning to listen to your body How social media can affect postpartum body image Returning to work and the reality of corporate parental leave The wildly different ways motherhood can make you feel — from depletion and loss to empowerment and love Plus, we hear from our community about what motherhood changed for them and why there is no such thing as “bouncing back”. Because you don't go back to who you were before. You become someone new. As always, we love hearing what you have to say - let us know, share your stories and be sure to follow us on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠@comecurious⁠⁠⁠ and DM us your questions, stories and voicenotes! Follow Florence ⁠⁠⁠@florencebark⁠⁠⁠ and learn more about her community @matrescene.collective Follow Reed ⁠⁠⁠@reedamberx⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Our question this week is - Would you have seggs with a robot? As loneliness rises and AI becomes increasingly woven into our relationships, Florence and Reed ask a very important question: what happens when technology can give us pleasure, companionship and even something that feels a little like intimacy? In this episode, we explore the future of sex, from AI companions and sex robots to the loneliness epidemic and whether technology could make pleasure more accessible or make real human connection even harder. We get into: - Seggs dolls vs seggs robots and what AI actually changes - AI companions, loneliness and the future of intimacy - Can technology provide pleasure without replacing human connection? - Why Gen Z and millennials are turning to synthetic intimacy - The benefits and potential pitfalls of AI seggs tech - We try out SensOn, an AI-powered interactive pleasure experience where stories, characters and physical sensations respond in real time - Plus we reveal whether we'd actually consider having seggs with a robot... This episode is sponsored by SensOn. Want to try it yourself? Use code CURIOUS15 for 15% off. SensOn AI Web - Explore the experience SensOn S1 - Discover the device Plus, Reed shares details of an upcoming k'nky, queer-friendly and sustainable marketplace in London, and we ask you the question that might define the future of seggs: Would you do a robot? Watch the full video on YouTube and see exclusive content and support the podcast over on ⁠⁠⁠Patreon ⁠⁠⁠ Follow us on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠@comecurious⁠⁠⁠ and DM us your questions, stories and voicenotes! Follow Florence ⁠⁠⁠@florencebark⁠⁠⁠ Follow Reed ⁠⁠⁠@reedamberx⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Rejection fcking hurts. So how do we get better at handling it without taking it as a verdict on our worth? In this episode of Come Curious, Florence and Reed get into the messy reality of rejection across dating, relationships, friendships and work. They explore why rejection can feel so painful, how the way we're rejected can make a huge difference, and why learning to say (and hear) “no” is such an important life skill. We get into: Why rejection activates the same brain regions as physical pain Dating rejection, friendship breakups and workplace rejection ADHD, neurodivergency and rejection sensitivity How to reject someone without making them feel worthless Why people-pleasing and fawning can make rejection harder Navigating rejection inside long-term relationships What kink can teach us about boundaries and respecting “no” The three-step rejection toolkit for having difficult conversations Plus, Florence and Reed share their own experiences of rejection and challenge us to stop treating someone else's “no” as a judgement on who we are. Because rejection isn't proof that you're unlovable. Sometimes it's just information. So let's make rejection our b*tch. Watch the full video, see exclusive content and support the podcast over on ⁠⁠⁠Patreon ⁠⁠⁠ Follow us on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠@comecurious⁠⁠⁠ and DM us your questions, stories and voicenotes! Follow Florence ⁠⁠⁠@florencebark⁠⁠⁠ Follow Reed ⁠⁠⁠@reedamberx⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is it chemistry… or is it just hormones? Florence and Reed dive into the science and psychology of attraction - exploring dopamine, adrenaline, ovulation, attachment styles and why the people who make our nervous systems go wild aren't always the people who are actually good for us. We get into: The brain chemistry behind attraction and obsession Can ovulation really change who we fancy? Why intense chemistry doesn't always mean compatibility Hot-and-cold behaviour, anxious attachment and addictive relationship cycles Gen Z, phones during sex and what it says about intimacy K'nk, consent and the criminalisation of str4ngulation in 🌽 How alcohol, stress and hormones can seriously influence our decisions And because this is a watershed episode, our Patreon members get the unfiltered second half - including some very candid stories about recent sexual experiences, orgasm denial, roleplay, tickle torture and the mental aftermath of intense play. Maybe you don't like them. Maybe you're just ovulating. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In the first episode of our new dating series, Reed and Florence dive into the realities of modern dating - from dating apps and ghosting to catfishing, first-date disasters and the best dates they've ever been on. With Reed navigating single, polyamorous life and Florence adjusting to life as a new mum, they bring very different perspectives to the dating game. We get into: Dating apps & catfishing - do profiles actually match the people you meet? Ghosting & rejection - why are so many people disappearing instead of communicating? Dating statistics - who's actually initiating dates, and are apps changing how we meet? The worst dates - broken furniture, injuries, bizarre behaviour and some truly chaotic encounters The best dates - including extravagant Mayfair dates and what actually makes a date memorable Dating etiquette - how to communicate when you're interested… and when you're definitely not Plus, Reed and Florence read your best and worst dating stories, discuss LGBTQ+ dating and dating apps, and ask what we're really looking for when we go on a first date. This is the beginning of a whole new Come Curious series about dating, sex, relationships, apps, rejection and everything that happens in between. Watch the full video, see exclusive content and support the podcast over on ⁠⁠⁠Patreon ⁠⁠⁠ Follow us on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠@comecurious⁠⁠⁠ and DM us your questions, stories and voicenotes! Follow Florence ⁠⁠⁠@florencebark⁠⁠⁠ Follow Reed ⁠⁠⁠@reedamberx⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What happens when you stop treating your body hair as something that needs fixing and start seeing it as part of what makes you attractive? In this episode of Come Curious, Reed chats to Bethany, producer of Come Curious and host of The Sassy Show, about being a proudly hairy woman with a beard. They dive deep into body confidence, beauty standards and hair fetishes. Bethany shares her journey from shaving from the age of 10 to embracing her natural body hair and how queer & kinky communities helped her feel more confident in her body. We get into: Being a hairy woman: body hair, beauty standards & body acceptance Hair fetishes: when being fetishised can feel empowering vs objectifying Razor play & grooming: the intimacy of letting someone else care for your body Body confidence: learning to see and touch your body without shame Talking to partners: asking for reassurance, praise and what you actually need Tune in for a conversation about body hair, kink, fetishisation, confidence and unlearning the idea that your natural body needs to be changed. Follow Bethany on IG @bxsassy2 and get to know her platform The Sassy Show Watch the full video, see exclusive content and support the podcast over on ⁠⁠Patreon ⁠⁠ Follow us on Instagram: ⁠⁠@comecurious⁠⁠ and DM us your questions, stories and voicenotes! Follow Florence ⁠⁠@florencebark⁠⁠ Follow Reed ⁠⁠@reedamberx Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Making Friends After 30? Trying to end a toxic friendship? Dealing with Adult Loneliness? This is the episode for you! In this episode of Come Curious, we get into the messy reality of adult friendship: how to make new friends, how to know when a friendship has run its course, and why ending a platonic relationship can hurt just as much as a romantic breakup. We talk about the loneliness epidemic, introversion and different social capacities, as well as the difference between a friendship naturally fizzling out and deliberately choosing to walk away. They also share their own experiences of friendship breakups — including the dramatic ones — and discuss why honest communication can sometimes be kinder than quietly disappearing. Our audience gets involved too, sharing how Curious Fckers made new friends through Bumble BFF, Instagram, burlesque, bouldering, dance classes, hobbies, local groups and niche communities. Plus, the episode touches on current LGBTQI+ and political news before getting back to the really important stuff: how the hell do you actually make friends when you're an adult? Expect conversations about loneliness, friendship breakups, social anxiety, finding your community, making friends online and IRL, and knowing when it's time to let a friendship go. Watch the full video, see exclusive content and support the podcast over on ⁠⁠Patreon ⁠⁠ Follow us on Instagram: ⁠⁠@comecurious⁠⁠ and DM us your questions, stories and voicenotes! Follow Florence ⁠⁠@florencebark⁠⁠ Follow Reed ⁠⁠@reedamberx Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do you actually initiate sex with your partner? It sounds simple, but for many couples, making the first move can be surprisingly awkward, vulnerable and even scary. In this episode, we get into why sexual initiation can become so difficult and what you can actually do about it. We discuss the loneliness epidemic and changing dating habits, before getting into the bigger question: how do we ask for sex without making it feel like a high-stakes negotiation? Drawing on ideas from Emily Nagoski's Come As You Are, we explore spontaneous and responsive desire, the "accelerators and brakes" that influence libido, and why initiating sex can start hours before you ever get into bed. We talk about: Why so many couples struggle to initiate sex How fear of rejection can make making a move feel terrifying Why sex can start with connection, safety and feeling understood Using love languages as a form of everyday intimacy and foreplay Spontaneous vs responsive desire How long-term relationships can change the way we experience sexual desire How having children can completely reshape your sex life Why asking your partner how they like to be initiated with could change everything How to communicate about sex without pressure, expectation or mind-reading And then we hit the watershed. The first half of this episode is available to everyone, but if you want to hear the more personal, intimate and unfiltered conversation - including our own stories about sexual initiation - you'll need to head over to Patreon for the full episode. So whether you've been together for ten years, you're newly dating, you're navigating parenthood, or you're simply wondering how to make the first move without dying of embarrassment… this one's for you. Follow us on Instagram: ⁠⁠@comecurious⁠⁠ and DM us your questions, stories and voicenotes! Follow Florence ⁠⁠@florencebark⁠⁠ Follow Reed ⁠⁠@reedamberx Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices