Non Sexy Things That Turn Us On - Acts of Service, Emotional Vulnerability & Why Confidence is So Sexy!

Is it chemistry… or is it just hormones? Florence and Reed dive into the science and psychology of attraction - exploring dopamine, adrenaline, ovulation, attachment styles and why the people who make our nervous systems go wild aren't always the people who are actually good for us. We get into: The brain chemistry behind attraction and obsession Can ovulation really change who we fancy? Why intense chemistry doesn't always mean compatibility Hot-and-cold behaviour, anxious attachment and addictive relationship cycles Gen Z, phones during sex and what it says about intimacy K'nk, consent and the criminalisation of str4ngulation in 🌽 How alcohol, stress and hormones can seriously influence our decisions And because this is a watershed episode, our Patreon members get the unfiltered second half - including some very candid stories about recent sexual experiences, orgasm denial, roleplay, tickle torture and the mental aftermath of intense play. Maybe you don't like them. Maybe you're just ovulating. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In the first episode of our new dating series, Reed and Florence dive into the realities of modern dating - from dating apps and ghosting to catfishing, first-date disasters and the best dates they've ever been on. With Reed navigating single, polyamorous life and Florence adjusting to life as a new mum, they bring very different perspectives to the dating game. We get into: Dating apps & catfishing - do profiles actually match the people you meet? Ghosting & rejection - why are so many people disappearing instead of communicating? Dating statistics - who's actually initiating dates, and are apps changing how we meet? The worst dates - broken furniture, injuries, bizarre behaviour and some truly chaotic encounters The best dates - including extravagant Mayfair dates and what actually makes a date memorable Dating etiquette - how to communicate when you're interested… and when you're definitely not Plus, Reed and Florence read your best and worst dating stories, discuss LGBTQ+ dating and dating apps, and ask what we're really looking for when we go on a first date. This is the beginning of a whole new Come Curious series about dating, sex, relationships, apps, rejection and everything that happens in between. Watch the full video, see exclusive content and support the podcast over on ⁠⁠⁠Patreon ⁠⁠⁠ Follow us on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠@comecurious⁠⁠⁠ and DM us your questions, stories and voicenotes! Follow Florence ⁠⁠⁠@florencebark⁠⁠⁠ Follow Reed ⁠⁠⁠@reedamberx⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What happens when you stop treating your body hair as something that needs fixing and start seeing it as part of what makes you attractive? In this episode of Come Curious, Reed chats to Bethany, producer of Come Curious and host of The Sassy Show, about being a proudly hairy woman with a beard. They dive deep into body confidence, beauty standards and hair fetishes. Bethany shares her journey from shaving from the age of 10 to embracing her natural body hair and how queer & kinky communities helped her feel more confident in her body. We get into: Being a hairy woman: body hair, beauty standards & body acceptance Hair fetishes: when being fetishised can feel empowering vs objectifying Razor play & grooming: the intimacy of letting someone else care for your body Body confidence: learning to see and touch your body without shame Talking to partners: asking for reassurance, praise and what you actually need Tune in for a conversation about body hair, kink, fetishisation, confidence and unlearning the idea that your natural body needs to be changed. Follow Bethany on IG @bxsassy2 and get to know her platform The Sassy Show Watch the full video, see exclusive content and support the podcast over on ⁠⁠Patreon ⁠⁠ Follow us on Instagram: ⁠⁠@comecurious⁠⁠ and DM us your questions, stories and voicenotes! Follow Florence ⁠⁠@florencebark⁠⁠ Follow Reed ⁠⁠@reedamberx Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Making Friends After 30? Trying to end a toxic friendship? Dealing with Adult Loneliness? This is the episode for you! In this episode of Come Curious, we get into the messy reality of adult friendship: how to make new friends, how to know when a friendship has run its course, and why ending a platonic relationship can hurt just as much as a romantic breakup. We talk about the loneliness epidemic, introversion and different social capacities, as well as the difference between a friendship naturally fizzling out and deliberately choosing to walk away. They also share their own experiences of friendship breakups — including the dramatic ones — and discuss why honest communication can sometimes be kinder than quietly disappearing. Our audience gets involved too, sharing how Curious Fckers made new friends through Bumble BFF, Instagram, burlesque, bouldering, dance classes, hobbies, local groups and niche communities. Plus, the episode touches on current LGBTQI+ and political news before getting back to the really important stuff: how the hell do you actually make friends when you're an adult? Expect conversations about loneliness, friendship breakups, social anxiety, finding your community, making friends online and IRL, and knowing when it's time to let a friendship go. Watch the full video, see exclusive content and support the podcast over on ⁠⁠Patreon ⁠⁠ Follow us on Instagram: ⁠⁠@comecurious⁠⁠ and DM us your questions, stories and voicenotes! Follow Florence ⁠⁠@florencebark⁠⁠ Follow Reed ⁠⁠@reedamberx Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do you actually initiate sex with your partner? It sounds simple, but for many couples, making the first move can be surprisingly awkward, vulnerable and even scary. In this episode, we get into why sexual initiation can become so difficult and what you can actually do about it. We discuss the loneliness epidemic and changing dating habits, before getting into the bigger question: how do we ask for sex without making it feel like a high-stakes negotiation? Drawing on ideas from Emily Nagoski's Come As You Are, we explore spontaneous and responsive desire, the "accelerators and brakes" that influence libido, and why initiating sex can start hours before you ever get into bed. We talk about: Why so many couples struggle to initiate sex How fear of rejection can make making a move feel terrifying Why sex can start with connection, safety and feeling understood Using love languages as a form of everyday intimacy and foreplay Spontaneous vs responsive desire How long-term relationships can change the way we experience sexual desire How having children can completely reshape your sex life Why asking your partner how they like to be initiated with could change everything How to communicate about sex without pressure, expectation or mind-reading And then we hit the watershed. The first half of this episode is available to everyone, but if you want to hear the more personal, intimate and unfiltered conversation - including our own stories about sexual initiation - you'll need to head over to Patreon for the full episode. So whether you've been together for ten years, you're newly dating, you're navigating parenthood, or you're simply wondering how to make the first move without dying of embarrassment… this one's for you. Follow us on Instagram: ⁠⁠@comecurious⁠⁠ and DM us your questions, stories and voicenotes! Follow Florence ⁠⁠@florencebark⁠⁠ Follow Reed ⁠⁠@reedamberx Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

No one really prepares you for what happens when your best friend has a baby. Suddenly your lives look completely different. Messages take longer to reply to, spontaneous plans disappear, priorities shift, and sometimes... it can feel like you're grieving a friendship that's still alive. In this deeply honest episode, Florence and Reed unpack how becoming a parent changes friendships—not just for the person having the baby, but for the friends left wondering where they fit in. We discuss: Why it's normal to grieve a friendship changing after parenthood Feeling left behind when your friends start families How to support a friend who's just had a baby What parents actually need from their child-free friends Navigating jealousy, loneliness and changing priorities Why friendships naturally have "seasons" Creating your own village—whether you have children or not How honest communication can save lifelong friendships Whether you're expecting your first baby, proudly child-free, undecided, or simply watching your friendship group evolve, this episode is for anyone trying to hold onto meaningful relationships through life's biggest transitions. Because growing up doesn't have to mean growing apart. Watch the full video, see exclusive content and support the podcast over on ⁠⁠Patreon ⁠⁠ Follow us on Instagram: ⁠⁠@comecurious⁠⁠ and DM us your questions, stories and voicenotes! Follow Florence ⁠⁠@florencebark⁠⁠ Follow Reed ⁠⁠@reedamberx Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Porn is everywhere but how much is too much? What are people actually searching for? And should we be worried about our viewing habits? This week we're diving headfirst into the world of pornography. As former porn creators ourselves, we're unpacking how our relationship with porn has changed over the years, what healthy consumption looks like, and why the conversation around "porn addiction" might be more complicated than people think. We explore: Is porn addiction real or is it better understood as a compulsion? When does watching porn become unhealthy? The world's most searched porn categories (including why hentai has dominated global searches) Why Gen Z's porn habits are changing The fastest-growing sexually active age group How porn can affect relationships, intimacy and desire Our own experiences working in the adult industry Wild, weird and wonderful listener-submitted porn searches From anime to MILFs, roleplay to relationship dynamics, this episode explores what our fantasies can tell us, without judgement. Whether you watch porn regularly, occasionally or not at all, this is an honest conversation about fantasy, shame, curiosity and sexual wellbeing. Watch the full video, see exclusive content and support the podcast over on ⁠⁠Patreon ⁠⁠ Follow us on Instagram: ⁠⁠@comecurious⁠⁠ and DM us your questions, stories and voicenotes! Follow Florence ⁠⁠@florencebark⁠⁠ Follow Reed ⁠⁠@reedamberx Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What's the actual difference between an ()rgy and a g4ng bang? And why do these two forms of group sx carry such different cultural baggage? In this episode of Come Curious, we're diving into the definitions, misconceptions, fantasies and realities surrounding two of the most talked-about group sx experiences. We explore where these ideas come from, how they've been shaped by mainstream 🌽orn, and why consent, agency and communication matter so much when discussing group sexual experiences. Along the way, we discuss: The difference between ()rgies and g4ng bangs Why group sex remains one of the world's most common fantasies How porn influences our understanding of group sx Listener stories, unexpected experiences and hilarious mishaps Sexual health, testing and safer group play Why these experiences aren't exclusive to any one gender or sexuality How our own relationships with sx, sobriety and intimacy have evolved over time We also take a look at some recent developments in contraception research, including updates in male contraception trials and conversations around informed contraceptive choices. Whether you're simply curious, have fantasised about group sx, or want to better understand the language and culture surrounding it, this episode offers an open, honest and judgement-free discussion. Watch the full video, see exclusive content and support the podcast over on ⁠⁠Patreon ⁠⁠ Follow us on Instagram: ⁠⁠@comecurious⁠⁠ and DM us your questions, stories and voicenotes! Follow Florence ⁠⁠@florencebark⁠⁠ Follow Reed ⁠⁠@reedamberx Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Turns out the sexiest things aren't always sexual. In this episode of Come Curious, we're diving into the unexpected, surprising, and sometimes downright bizarre things that make people feel attracted, connected, and turned on. From fresh bed sheets and gardening to emotional vulnerability and conflict resolution, we're exploring the green flags, personality traits, and everyday moments that can spark desire in ways we never expected. We discuss: Why emotional vulnerability can be incredibly attractive The appeal of emotional regulation and healthy communication Acts of service and why chores can become foreplay Competence, confidence and professional attraction Eye contact, direct communication and feeling desired Nature, scent, fresh sheets and creating an erotic atmosphere Listener submissions about accents, singing, oral fixations and more We also share some personal life updates, including navigating parenthood, balancing work and childcare, and our recent visit to Parliament to discuss the shadow-banning and deplatforming of sx workers, educators and LGBTQ+ creators on social media platforms. Because attraction isn't always about bodies or sex. Sometimes it's about feeling safe, understood, supported or watching someone confidently reverse a car into a parking space. Watch the full video, see exclusive content and support the podcast over on ⁠⁠Patreon ⁠⁠ Follow us on Instagram: ⁠⁠@comecurious⁠⁠ and DM us your questions, stories and voicenotes! Follow Florence ⁠⁠@florencebark⁠⁠ Follow Reed ⁠⁠@reedamberx Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When cheating happens, everyone wants a simple answer: leave or stay. But real relationships are rarely that straightforward. In this episode of Come Curious, we unpack one of the most painful questions a person can face: should you stay with someone who has cheated on you? Drawing on listener stories, expert insights, personal experiences, and relationship research, we explore why affairs happen, what cheating can reveal about a relationship, and whether trust can genuinely be rebuilt after betrayal. Tune in to hear about: Why people cheat in the first place Emotional affairs vs physical affairs When cheating is a symptom of deeper relationship problems The role of communication, accountability and therapy Signs a relationship may be repairable When leaving might be the healthiest choiceListener stories of recovery, separation and ethical non-monogamy The long-term impact of betrayal on mental health and self-worth We also examine the reality that many couples do stay together after infidelity, and why healing looks different for every relationship. Whether you've been cheated on, cheated yourself, or simply want to understand the psychology behind affairs, this conversation offers compassion, honesty and practical perspectives without reducing a deeply human experience to a simple yes-or-no answer. Shout out to therapist Jemma Hardelle who provided her insight on this topic. You can find her online at @hardelle_jemma on IG and www.jemmahardelle.com Sign the petition for 'Holding Meta Accountable for Wrongful Deletion' Watch the full video, see exclusive content and support the podcast over on ⁠⁠Patreon ⁠⁠ Follow us on Instagram: ⁠⁠@comecurious⁠⁠ and DM us your questions, stories and voicenotes! Follow Florence ⁠⁠@florencebark⁠⁠ Follow Reed ⁠⁠@reedamberx Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices