Phantom Blade Zero: Chinamaxxing

Send us Fan MailDo you realize... DO YOU REALIZE... that if Phantom Blade Zero can be this good of a game, they could maybe even be GoTY, and we would be forced to move out onto the street?! THAT IS MY GAME! I pay the taxes, I pay the insurance, I bought the damn thing, and I've lived in it for thirty years, and I don't want people looking at my total hours played!No, but seriously, it's outstanding.We also really liked Star Wars: Galactic Racer, and even manage to have a think about World of Warcraft: Forever in the context of an MMORPG that has survived for decades now. And we're pretty okay with Final Fantasy Resonance, just wishing it did a bit more.Oh, and here is a link to that video we keep referencing:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nPvUCM0NsmkSeriously, BigGreyMass deserves more recognition.

Send us Fan MailHere's to one hundred more!But besides marveling at the fact we hit triple digits, we actually talk about some spooky games because Halloween is right around the corner, including Control Resonant, Somnia Tenebris, Castlevania: Belmont's Curse, Clive Barker's Hellraiser: Revival, and Silver Pines.I don't even know what to say after 100 of these.

Send us Fan MailIf you like Fire Emblem, then you need to play Fire Emblem: Fortune's Weave.If you have a Nintendo Switch 2, then you need to play Fire Emblem: Fortune's Weave.If you like having fun at the premium price of $79.99 (Physical, on cartridge), then you need to play Fire Emblem: Fortune's Weave.Okay, so obviously we like the latest Fire Emblem, so much so that it has more or less managed to overshadow a pretty heavy release window these past couple of months. But seriously, it's a GoTY contender and helping to remind us that Nintendo is still a contender. And somehow we got past the MSRP, so you know it's got something going on.Oh, and we played Orbitals and that was okay. It's hard to make games."Thank you for being FabioTraveled down to Dagsion and back againYour heart's impure, you’re a jerk and a mutant tooAnd if you made me play four pathsRecruited everyone you knewYou would see, all the arena training would be for theeAnd the card attached would say,Thank you for being an A support"

Send us Fan MailIced coffees at interviews, Ed Sheeran canceled, Macklemore comeback tour, KN95 lesbian bar, sports teams with the word "Hawk," and Super vs. Artificial.Phew! Fed the Al Gore Rhythm so now people will know we are making some trenchant observations.Anyway, Wolverine's mediocre but Onimusha is good, and in a topsy-turvy world where Capcom is on a heater and Sony is trying to convince us the words purchase and buy no longer mean ownership (if you're a "reasonable" consumer) maybe that can be enough. (Narrator: It turned out not be enough.)Oh, and the new Silent Hill is fun in that "man, what a wacky place Europe must have been" kind of way. I mean, buying your electricity on a little plastic money card and going into the cupboard under the stairs to fund your energy? Blew my mind (literally a puzzle in the first hour and I think a higher difficulty if you're an unworldly slob like me). And if you cannot stomach horror-horror, Elderfield has you covered with cozy-horror.Games we discuss include:Onimusha: Way of the SwordMarvel's WolverineWelcome to ElderfieldSilent Hill: TownfallFire Emblem: Fortune's Weave (but only briefly, since Porter said we had to wait.)

Send us Fan MailPerhaps the greatest challenge is managing to get four adults with distinct schedules to repeatedly chunk out three hours of time for multiple nights across two weeks to play a co-op video game about walking and talking through puzzles, but dang if it weren't worth the hassle.Really, though, all you have to say is "C'mon and join our Convoy. Ain't she a beautiful sight?"So yeah, Big Walk is pretty great, if you have the base resources in place from your social links.Also, Porter played Creature Kitchen and found it to be very charming, and the Steam reviews would agree with that assessment wholeheartedly.And in an even bigger twist, Buzz finally played GTA V and realized it's really good. Everyone else remains unfazed as they already knew this.

Send us Fan MailIt takes a big man to admit when you're wrong, but unfortunately, I'm trying to reduce.No, but in all seriousness, in the scant few days since we recorded and are now posting this episode much of the optimization and framerate issues have been addressed in Fields of Mistria, meaning that Buzz would in fact fully recommend you check it out.With that out of the way, we also do some griping about Splatoon Raiders sort of petering out in its own post game, share our excitement for the next release in the Trails in the Sky series, and stand just gobsmacked at the bizarre decision to not include any online multiplayer in the latest iteration of Halo: Campaign Evolved (seriously, no multiplayer...in a Halo game?).Ah well, time to go check and see if that leek guy posted anymore GTA footage.

Send us Fan MailThere was once a quote about how "a house divided cannot stand," and I am not going to look up the exact quote because I am extremely lazy and it helps show that this isn't eh-aye content generated churn - you know one of those clankers would have bothered to look up the quote and attribute it to Honest Abe. (Maybe I should look it up after all, I know one of them guys said something about not being able to tell a lie... but that was definitely about a cherry tree as the mythos goes and I know for a fact that is wooden teeth Washington (I know it was actually dead peoples' teeth and not wood), but then again Abe is also supposedly known for his honesty so...)As the younger generation says, I am yapping. Because we are ourselves divided on Splatoon Raiders - a good single player time but perhaps it could use the multiplayer elements that put the series on the map after all? If you'll indulge someone who keeps buying Nintendo games at launch, it does feel like they haven't had the gall to do anything experimental lately. I mean Raiders is technically competent, but if you slotted it in as the single player campaign in any other Splatoon game I probably wouldn't have noticed the substitution.Oh, and we played some visual novels by Type-Moon and Porter says the Avatar Legends the Fighting Game is hard to get behind and weirdly quiet. What is it with Nickelodeon games and having no soundbites from the shows themselves?At least Fire Emblem is gonna let me play through all the routes in one go this time.

Send us Fan MailIt's a pretty good week in terms of wasting hard-earned yet specious currency on a digital medium that a whole lot of techno-bourgeoisie would like to be purely digital (how typical!).Personalism [10] FAILURE- [ That joke you made that was meant to make you seem cool and aloof about spending your wages on video games definitely landed...Cold Read [8] SUCCESS- [ It's not too late to save this train wreck. Say something salient and positive about how good recent releases have been."Wow, Granblue Fantasy: Relink is a game I wish I had tried earlier and I am super pumped to explore the multiplayer and new DLC!""ZERO PARADES: For Dead Spies was the cerebral and deep narrative experience I have been craving this year!"SHADOWPLAY [12] "Echoes of Aincrad is definitely *not* a sad excuse for a video game that deserved better." ^EXERT"Screamer is an exciting entry into the visual novel genre that manages to bring the thrill of racing games along for the ride!"SHADOWPLAY [Rolled: 3, 5, 3] FAILURE"Yeah, so Echoes of Aincrad is good for about 30 minutes in the demo portion, kind of goes nowhere after that. Video games!"Instincts [5] SUCCESS- [ Switch hobbies. Immediately. This one is over for you.

Send us Fan MailI mean, surely you've heard the news.We're not going to sit here and tell you something bombastic like, "It's the death of video games!" or anything like that. It's honestly just one console manufacturer feeling a little bold and trying to see what they can get away with.Granted, it sure does feel anti-consumer and another instance of the proverbial needle moving towards having less to show for your money, but hey, it's 2026 (current year argument), so what else is new?Beyond the current news griping, we also complain about Star Fox - a good looking game that, if using the self-proclaimed Nintendo metric of pricing games based on their worth, could probably stand to retail for just a bit cheaper.Also, we try to convince Porter to finally play BG3...by talking about BG1. It kind of works.

Send us Fan Mail"Why must everything be so nutso-buttso expensive!" is the question on our minds as we post this episode. The Steam Machine turned out to be a bit pricier than most people hoped, GTA6 is launching at 80 dollars - Thanks Mario Kart! - or a whole benjamin if you want access to all the in-game stores and accessories, and now Rockstar Games is asking us all to preorder but your physical orders will just be a code in a box!Despite this, we can't help but be a little excited at the game commercials we were treated with during the various Totally Not E3 Summer Games Fest/State of Play/Hexbox Showcase/Nintendo Direct/maybe some indie things. Listen, September is looking STACKED and even if it would be physically impossible to play everything coming out you know suckers like us will still fork over the cash.Wow, all we do is talk about money when the best things in life are free. The Adventures of Elliot: The Millenium Tales is 59.99 dollars American MSRP.