The Triangulation Trap: Guiding Parents Out of Destructive Patterns

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)Afraid you need to be a financial expert to help divorce clients navigate money concerns? Think again! Tracy and Debra dismantle this common fear among divorce coaches by showing how you can effectively support clients through financial challenges without overstepping your role.Financial uncertainty triggers our most basic survival fears—that's why money is almost always at the center of divorce conflict. According to government research, men's household income falls about 23% after divorce, while women experience a staggering 41% drop. No wonder financial anxiety runs so high! When clients worry about their ability to pay bills or put food on the table, their capacity to make sound decisions, negotiate fairly, or co-parent effectively becomes severely compromised.The podcast reveals how coaches can guide clients through creating monthly budgets—arguably the most powerful financial tool during divorce. This simple exercise answers the burning question: "Can I support myself?" Through relatable client stories like Martha (who discovered her post-divorce budget was actually half what she feared) and Mary (who reconsidered keeping the family home after seeing the long-term financial impact), Tracy and Debra demonstrate how helping clients gain financial clarity transforms fear into knowledge and powerlessness into control.They explore practical approaches to addressing income concerns, understanding the marital estate, and preparing clients for productive attorney consultations. Most importantly, they emphasize that coaches don't need calculators or financial certifications to make a difference—they just need to ask the right questions, guide clients through basic exercises, and connect them with specialists when needed.Ready to feel confident helping your divorce clients with financial foundations? Listen now to discover how you can support clients in making informed, intentional decisions that align with their values and set them up for post-divorce success. Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.comInstagram: @divorcecoachesacademyLinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academyEmail: [email protected]

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)When children become pawns in their parents' divorce battles, the emotional damage can last a lifetime. Triangulation—the process where children are drawn into parental conflict—affects over 80% of high-conflict divorces and significantly increases children's risk for anxiety, depression, and relationship difficulties well into adulthood.In this compelling deep dive, Debra and Tracy unpack the three distinct forms of triangulation that plague divorcing families. They explore how children become direct participants in conflict when used as messengers or interrogated about the other parent's home. They reveal the subtle yet equally harmful pattern where children feel caught in the middle even when parents believe they're shielding them from tension. And they examine the most damaging form—when parents deliberately draw children into coalitions against the other parent through criticism, loyalty tests, and false narratives.What makes this conversation particularly valuable is the practical coaching framework offered for helping parents recognize and break these destructive patterns. Through awareness-building questions, perspective-shifting exercises, and concrete strategies—from establishing direct adult communication to creating emotional safety zones—listeners gain tools to guide families toward healthier dynamics. The powerful question at the heart of this work resonates throughout: "Do you want to give your children a child-centered divorce or a divorce-centered childhood?"Whether you're a divorce professional working with high-conflict families or a parent navigating co-parenting challenges, this episode provides insight into transforming harmful patterns into opportunities for healing. Because when parents take accountability and keep children out of adult conflicts, they're not just breaking a cycle—they're building resilience that will serve their children for years to come. Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.comInstagram: @divorcecoachesacademyLinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academyEmail: [email protected]

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)Have you been pouring endless energy into social media with minimal return for your divorce coaching practice? It might be time to unlock the most powerful marketing tool you're probably neglecting—your email list.Trust serves as the cornerstone of the coach-client relationship, particularly when guiding someone through the emotional complexities of divorce. While social platforms broadcast your message widely, they lack the intimacy and privacy that email marketing delivers directly to your ideal client's inbox. As we often remind our coaching community, "If social media is the cocktail party, email marketing is meeting up for coffee."The statistics don't lie—email marketing consistently outperforms social media in conversion rates, especially for service-based businesses like divorce coaching. Why? Because your subscribers have already demonstrated interest by sharing their email address, creating a warm lead that's significantly more likely to become a paying client. Plus, you completely own this asset. No algorithm changes, no shadow bans, no disappearing followers—just a direct line to people who've expressed interest in your expertise.We walk you through creating compelling lead magnets that address specific pain points for divorcing individuals—from co-parenting communication guides to money-saving divorce checklists. The real magic happens in what follows: a thoughtfully crafted nurture sequence that builds trust, demonstrates your expertise, and gently guides potential clients toward working with you. Most importantly, we share how to confidently extend invitations to your services without coming across as pushy or sales-focused.Whether you're just starting your coaching practice or looking to grow your established business, this episode provides a clear roadmap for building an email strategy that converts interested prospects into paying clients. Take one action step this week—choose an email provider, brainstorm lead magnet ideas, or draft your first nurture sequence. Your future clients are waiting in your inbox! Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.comInstagram: @divorcecoachesacademyLinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academyEmail: [email protected]

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)We're pleased to welcome back Anne-Marie Cade, our DCA Director of Learning and Development for Australia. And she's here with some very exciting news.Anne-Marie along with fellow DCA certified divorce coaches Amy Voller, Tahli Fitzpatrick and Marg Doherty have launched the Divorce Coaches Institute Australia (DCIA).Alongside their international colleagues, they identified a critical need to establish a secure and ethically driven service for Australians undergoing separation or divorce. Recognizing the absence of regulations in the coaching industry, they were increasingly concerned about the lack of ethical standards and professional oversight and the absence of support for clients in the event of an unsuccessful coaching relationship.All coaches admitted to DCIA are vetted and have been certified through select reputable and approved international training providers. Their coaches adhere to professional standards and follow a code of ethics, which ensures the well-being of clients and maintains the integrity of our profession.Listen in to learn how Anne-Marie and her colleagues are raising the bar on professional standards in Australia.Learn more about DCIA and find a coach:Divorce Coaches Institute Australia website Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.comInstagram: @divorcecoachesacademyLinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academyEmail: [email protected]

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)In this episode, we're diving into a topic that shows up with almost every client at some point: that sticky, frustrating, and sometimes paralyzing feeling that this just isn’t fair.Whether it’s the division of assets, custody arrangements, or just the emotional fallout, so many clients come into the process believing they’ve been wronged—and they often have been! But here's the challenge: when someone is stuck in a story of injustice, it can completely block their ability to make empowered decisions. And that’s where we come in.Today, we're going to unpack where that feeling comes from, what it does to your client's mindset, and offer these six coaching strategies you can use to help them move from frozen to forward.Normalize the feelingShift from fairness to empowermentReframe the narrativeUse future-focused visualizationIntroduce functional fairnessAnchor in core valuesRemember...You’re not just helping your clients “get through” this. You’re helping them build resilience, clarity, and agency in one of the hardest seasons of their lives.And that’s powerful work. Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.comInstagram: @divorcecoachesacademyLinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academyEmail: [email protected]

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)Joining us today is Anne Wintemute, CEO of Aimee Says, an AI driven platform that empowers survivors of relationship abuse to recognize, respond, and recover.Anne is a dedicated and visionary leader, currently serving as the Co-Founder and CEO of Aimee Says. She is also the founder of A Garden Grows, a consultancy offering vital support services to women experiencing post-separation abuse. Anne is passionate about transforming the discourse around intimate partner violence and advocating for a narrative that holds perpetrators accountable.Aimee Says is a free tool to help clients recognize coercive control and abuse, manage communication, strategize and achieve better outcomes for themselves and their children.Listen in as Anne share all the ways Aimee can support both your coaching relationship and your client with confidential compassion and guidance. From identifying red flags to crafting responses to preparing for court, Aimee Says is the BFF survivors need to have in their back pocket. Aimee Says also encourages a collaborative team approach where clients can share their account with professionals who are supporting them.And for those of you in our DCA Coach Community, Anne will be joining us for a free Lunch & Learn on 7/23 at 12pm ET. Please mark your calendar to join us so you can see a demo of Aimee Says and ask all your questions. Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.comInstagram: @divorcecoachesacademyLinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academyEmail: [email protected]

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)Today we expand on a conversation we began in episode #134 by talking with a pioneer and leader in the area of restorative communication, Dr Will Bledsoe. Today he joins us to talk about how divorce may actually be an opportunity to save your relationship.Will is the author of The Restorative Way: Harnessing the Power of Restorative Communication to Mend Relationships, Heal Trauma, and Reclaim Civility One Conversation at a Time. He has been called a pioneer for his advancement of Restorative Communication principles and practices. He is an adjunct professor of communication and a consultant who advises thought leaders, institutions, corporations, school districts, the justice system, and families to help us turn our contempt into consideration and mutual respect by utilizing Restorative Communication.We dive into the difference between a punitive paradigm (focus on determining guilt and punishment) and a restorative one (determining and understanding needs). And we learn about the powerful 5 step process that can SHIFT anyone's emotional state from dysregulated to engaged.S = Spot the signsH = Hold SpaceI - Identify What They're FeelingF = Focus on What They Need in the MomentT = Take ActionRestorative communication is the key to a divorce that, when done right, may be the key to making the relationship with your ex healthier and more functional.If you’re thinking about divorce and hope to minimize both the financial and relational impact, we encourage you to check out the coach locator at divorcecoachesacademy.com to find a DCA certified ADR divorce coach.Learn More About Dr Will Bledsoe and upcoming trainings:His Book : The Restorative WayHis Website: www.restorativeway.com Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.comInstagram: @divorcecoachesacademyLinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academyEmail: [email protected]

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)Today Tracy and Debra are talking about all the internet clickbait content out there that is purposefully targeting people’s fears just to get follows or sell coaching, courses, or books.We absolutely understand why this stuff is popular. It’s attention grabbing, it raises alarm bells, it creates a sense of urgency, and it makes clients worry that they’re not doing enough to protect themselves or their children.But we know that this fear-based content skews perspective and sets up the possibility that consumers absorbing this information could be making their divorces more expensive and more conflicted than they need to be.We'll cover the dangers of this type of marketing, why it works, and how to work with clients who may have taken the bait. And finally, we want to remind you that purposefully targeting your audience's vulnerability for your own gain falls outside our ethical guidelines. As professional, certified divorce coaches, we do not cause undue distress, manipulate emotions, or potentially cause psychological harm to sell our services. We commit to marketing practices that are effective and yet respectful of our audiences well-being. Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.comInstagram: @divorcecoachesacademyLinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academyEmail: [email protected]

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)When a US based company like Divorce Coaches Academy enters the Canadian market during a time of trade tensions, it’s a lot like navigating a complex divorce negotiation.Both involve high emotions, financial stakes, competing interests, and, most importantly, the need for skilled professionals to guide the process toward a fair and workable resolution.The reaction to the trade wars this week is eerily familiar to how we see clients in divorce. These trade wars have thrust Canadians, and many Americans, into uncertainty and worry. REAL worry about their finances and ultimately their families. The headlines warn of a certain recession in Canada.We talked a few weeks ago about how Canada is changing how divorce is handled. And that means even more need for professional, conflict resolution focused divorce coaches.The cross-border partnership that we have developed with our Canadian Director, Dori Braddell, is based on mutual respect and creating win-win scenarios for both of us. There's no war here when it comes to ensuring that Canadians continue to have access to the most robust, most professional divorce coach training on the market.At the end of the day, whether you’re negotiating a trade agreement or a divorce settlement, the key to success is the same: clear communication, skilled guidance, accurate information and a focus on the future rather than the past.It really is all about finding common ground both in trade and divorce, right?It's not too late to join this Canadian cohort of DCA divorce coach training. Go to divorcecoachesacademy.com/divorcecoach to learn more and apply. Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.comInstagram: @divorcecoachesacademyLinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academyEmail: [email protected]

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)Today’s conversation is going to be nothing but a naked plea for all divorce coaching professionals to stop trying to do this on your own.Successful divorce coaches understand the value of seeking professional development, connection and feedback to continually improve their coaching practice.What a lot of people fail to realize is that divorce coaching is a continuous process. It requires constant development. It takes a lot of time, energy, money, and deep inner work to build your practice and make your business work.We dive into all the reasons you must be part of a community to achieve the success you're looking for. And we review all the ways DCA® offers the support you need to keep growing.Free online DCA Coach CommunityFree Bi-monthly Lunch & Learn EventsCase Consultation GroupSpecialty TrainingsThe bottom line ... If you’re struggling to build the coaching practice of your dreams, stop trying to do it alone. Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.comInstagram: @divorcecoachesacademyLinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academyEmail: [email protected]