81. Minimizing your needs is not inner work

In this powerful and deeply moving conversation, Alreen Haeggquist—a seasoned attorney, trauma survivor, and author of Fired Up: Fueling Triumph from Trauma—shares her remarkable journey from silence to speaking out. Alreen opens up about her childhood experiences with abuse, the lasting impact of unprocessed trauma, and the inner transformation that helped her reclaim her power.We explore how Alreen shifted her relationship with anger, broke generational cycles, and built a law firm dedicated to helping women who have experienced sexual harassment, discrimination, and abuse. This episode is an honest look at how pain can fuel purpose and how healing requires both courage and community.Alreen’s story is a testament to resilience and a reminder that your past does not define you—your power lies in your ability to transform it.Connect with Arleen:www.alreen.comwww.instagram.com/alreenTop Episode Quotes:"Your trauma doesn’t need to define you. It can become part of your story in a softer, more integrated way.""I didn’t want to be angry anymore. I didn’t want to miss out on the people I loved most because I couldn’t be present with them.""My anger was misdirected—it wasn’t about the people in front of me, it was about the past I hadn’t processed.""You can’t heal what you don’t speak. Staying silent only gives your abuser more power.""Healing is a lifelong journey, but every time you choose to speak up, ask for help, or try something new, you're reclaiming your power."❥Stay or Go Course: ⁠https://marinayt.com/stay-or-go⁠ ❥HeartSpace: An online monthly membership community for open-hearted, nervous system-attuned living.Join with a free trial: ⁠⁠https://marinayt.com/community⁠⁠❥1:1 Coaching with me: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfWcZM5s9c2OjOLwoGMI5jE6rh_JAzjN2d_vCtuVe7e3pVGxw/viewform❥❥❥ FREE RESOURCE: a step-by-step process of working with your triggersTRIGGERED TO ROOTED: A ROADMAP TO CREATE TREASURES FROM YOUR TRIGGERSThis powerful step by step process will walk you through how to somatically move through a trigger, ground yourself, allow the emotions to come up and experience massive growth in your lifeDownload here:⁠ ⁠https://marinayt.com/trigger-2-rooted⁠⁠❥❥❥Follow me on Instagram:⁠ ⁠www.instagram.com/marina.y.t⁠⁠ 

In this episode, we dive deep into the power of alignment, manifestation, and emotional healing in both life and business. We explore how past patterns, limiting beliefs, and emotional blocks can hold us back—and how shifting our energy and nervous system state can unlock new possibilities. From personal stories of overcoming financial struggles, burnout, and heartbreak to practical tools for stepping into ease and abundance, this conversation is filled with actionable insights to help you break through what’s keeping you stuck.If you’ve ever felt like you’re working harder than necessary, struggling with money blocks, or repeating patterns in relationships and business, this episode will give you the tools to clear what’s no longer serving you and create real alignment.✨JOIN THE ALIGNMENT WORKSHOP: https://www.natandmarina.com/the-alignment-workshopTop Episode Quotes:"Whatever we’re not manifesting is always connected to past wounds—until we heal them, we keep projecting the same patterns into our reality.""When you’re in a low state, it’s not about shame—it’s about recognizing where you are and finding the most efficient way to shift your energy.""The best way to know if something is truly aligned? Check in with your body. Does it feel expansive and light, or does it feel constricting and heavy?""So many of us think success requires struggle, but when you’re fully in alignment, things actually become easier. That’s the shift.""Your nervous system will tell you what’s right for you before your mind does. The key is learning to trust and follow that wisdom."Alignment Workshop: https://www.natandmarina.com/the-alignment-workshop❥❥❥Follow us on Instagram:⁠ ⁠www.instagram.com/marina.y.t⁠⁠ www.instagram.com/nataliesusi

In this powerful conversation, Dr. Janina Scarlet, Licensed Clinical Psychologist, author, and TEDx speaker, joins us to explore the importance of being seen, healing from trauma, and breaking free from toxic relational patterns. Dr. Scarlet, who immigrated to the United States at 12, later developed Superhero Therapy, inspired by the X-Men, to help patients with anxiety, depression, and PTSD. We dive into narcissistic abuse, trauma bonds, and the deep impact of emotional neglect, while also exploring how fictional characters can help us process and heal our own experiences. If you've ever struggled with feeling unseen, minimizing your pain, or breaking free from unhealthy relationships, this episode will bring clarity, validation, and powerful healing insights.http://www.superhero-therapy.com/Top Episode Quotes:"Being seen can be terrifying because it reminds us of all the times we weren’t—and all the times we convinced ourselves we didn’t deserve to be.""For those of us used to abuse and invalidation, we might not trust being truly seen, even though it’s what we crave the most.""Trauma bonding is like gambling—you keep chasing the moments of love and validation, even when they become fewer and further between.""Healing isn’t about erasing the past. It’s about learning to trust ourselves and create relationships where we don’t have to perform to be loved.""You don’t have to keep playing small to make others comfortable. You deserve to take up space, to have needs, and to be fully seen."❥Stay or Go Course: ⁠https://marinayt.com/stay-or-go⁠ ❥HeartSpace: An online monthly membership community for open-hearted, nervous system-attuned living.Join with a free trial: ⁠⁠https://marinayt.com/community⁠⁠❥1:1 Coaching with me: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfWcZM5s9c2OjOLwoGMI5jE6rh_JAzjN2d_vCtuVe7e3pVGxw/viewform❥❥❥ FREE RESOURCE: a step-by-step process of working with your triggersTRIGGERED TO ROOTED: A ROADMAP TO CREATE TREASURES FROM YOUR TRIGGERSThis powerful step by step process will walk you through how to somatically move through a trigger, ground yourself, allow the emotions to come up and experience massive growth in your lifeDownload here:⁠ ⁠https://marinayt.com/trigger-2-rooted⁠⁠❥❥❥Follow me on Instagram:⁠ ⁠www.instagram.com/marina.y.t⁠⁠ 

In this episode, we explore the subtle yet powerful ways we abandon ourselves—often without even realizing it. From childhood experiences of making ourselves small to avoid burdening others to the lifelong patterns of prioritizing others' emotions over our own, this episode dives deep into the roots of self-abandonment and how to break free. We discuss the exhaustion of being the caretaker, the guilt of having needs, and the path to reclaiming emotional safety without outsourcing it to others. If you’ve ever struggled with feeling responsible for other people’s emotions or have difficulty tending to your own needs, this episode will help you begin the journey back to yourself.Top Episode quotes:"The way you kept yourself safe as a child was by making sure everyone else was okay—even if that meant leaving yourself behind.""I’m done abandoning myself. It’s not my job to soothe everyone else’s emotions while ignoring my own.""Our job is not to tend to others—it’s to tend to ourselves and build relationships where both people are emotionally responsible for their own healing.""There will be guilt and anxiety around speaking your needs because you were taught they didn’t matter—but healing means honoring them anyway.""I’ve spent my whole life soothing others, but I’m learning now that I can turn to myself. I don’t have to seek external safety—I can create it within me."❥Stay or Go Course:⁠https://marinayt.com/stay-or-go⁠ ❥HeartSpace: An online monthly membership community for open-hearted, nervous system-attuned living.Join with a free trial: ⁠⁠https://marinayt.com/community⁠⁠❥1:1 Coaching with me: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfWcZM5s9c2OjOLwoGMI5jE6rh_JAzjN2d_vCtuVe7e3pVGxw/viewform❥❥❥ FREE RESOURCE: a step-by-step process of working with your triggersTRIGGERED TO ROOTED: A ROADMAP TO CREATE TREASURES FROM YOUR TRIGGERSThis powerful step by step process will walk you through how to somatically move through a trigger, ground yourself, allow the emotions to come up and experience massive growth in your lifeDownload here:⁠ ⁠https://marinayt.com/trigger-2-rooted⁠⁠❥❥❥Follow me on Instagram:⁠ ⁠www.instagram.com/marina.y.t⁠⁠

In this episode, we dive into the deep-rooted wounds of abandonment, self-protection, and emotional healing. The conversation explores how childhood experiences shape our expectations of love and safety, leading to patterns of self-abandonment in relationships. Through personal stories of transformation—leaving a marriage, setting boundaries with family, and learning to truly receive support—this episode is a powerful reflection on breaking free from toxic cycles. You’ll hear about the challenges of allowing vulnerability, the importance of feeling anger rather than suppressing it, and the journey of reclaiming your own sense of security. If you’ve ever struggled with feeling emotionally unfulfilled, this episode will help you recognize the power you hold to stop abandoning yourself and start showing up for your own needs.Top Episode quotes:"Abandonment has been a wound on my heart forever. It's like a shadow that follows me everywhere, making me feel alone—even when I’m surrounded by people.""We are not abandoned by other people. We can’t be. We are only abandoned by ourselves when we allow others to cross our boundaries and silence our truth.""My whole life, I was taught that friends could never replace family, but my friends have been the ones showing up for me in ways I never experienced before.""Healing isn’t just about sitting with your pain. It’s about actively choosing to walk away from what hurts you and stepping toward what nurtures you.""I’m done inviting people into my life who behave in ways that aren’t good for me. I’m finally standing up for myself, and it feels so damn good."❥Stay or Go Course:⁠https://marinayt.com/stay-or-go⁠ ❥HeartSpace: An online monthly membership community for open-hearted, nervous system-attuned living.Join with a free trial: ⁠⁠https://marinayt.com/community⁠⁠❥1:1 Coaching with me: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfWcZM5s9c2OjOLwoGMI5jE6rh_JAzjN2d_vCtuVe7e3pVGxw/viewform❥❥❥ FREE RESOURCE: a step-by-step process of working with your triggersTRIGGERED TO ROOTED: A ROADMAP TO CREATE TREASURES FROM YOUR TRIGGERSThis powerful step by step process will walk you through how to somatically move through a trigger, ground yourself, allow the emotions to come up and experience massive growth in your lifeDownload here:⁠ ⁠https://marinayt.com/trigger-2-rooted⁠⁠❥❥❥Follow me on Instagram:⁠ ⁠www.instagram.com/marina.y.t⁠⁠ 

I have needs? What needs?This is so common for those of us who grew up in families that were always stressed out, didn't work through trauma, and got triggered by our emotions. We learned to stuff down our emotions, get small and quiet, and we attracted adult relationships just like this: we feel alone even while the other person is in the room, unfulfilled, and disconnected. It's because our entire childhood involved us completely self abandoning. You might see abuse as toxic and unhealthy. What about emotional neglect? If you feel unfulfilled in your adult relationships and your emotional needs aren't being met - you NEED to listen to this episode! Top Episode quotes:"Our standards of safety are much higher, and it can feel so difficult to say, 'I need this. I need emotional fulfillment. I need a partner that can meet me emotionally.' There’s guilt around that because our parents didn’t have it, and it feels like a luxury—like, is it even okay to want this?""Many of us grew up learning that our emotions weren’t safe, that we had to suppress them to keep our parents regulated. But as adults, that pattern leaves us feeling unseen, unheard, and completely alone—even in relationships.""You don’t need permission to grieve the fact that you had to abandon yourself to keep others comfortable. That grief is valid, and feeling it is the first step toward reclaiming yourself.""If you don’t know what your needs are, start by asking yourself what turns you on—not just sexually, but in life. What makes you feel alive, excited, and deeply present? That’s where your true needs are hiding.""We keep chasing connection in the same way we learned as children—by abandoning ourselves in relationships. The work is in learning to stay with ourselves, even when connection feels uncertain."❥Stay or Go Course: ⁠https://marinayt.com/stay-or-go⁠ ❥HeartSpace: An online monthly membership community for open-hearted, nervous system-attuned living.Join with a free trial: ⁠⁠https://marinayt.com/community⁠⁠❥1:1 Coaching with me: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfWcZM5s9c2OjOLwoGMI5jE6rh_JAzjN2d_vCtuVe7e3pVGxw/viewform❥❥❥ FREE RESOURCE: a step-by-step process of working with your triggersTRIGGERED TO ROOTED: A ROADMAP TO CREATE TREASURES FROM YOUR TRIGGERSThis powerful step by step process will walk you through how to somatically move through a trigger, ground yourself, allow the emotions to come up and experience massive growth in your lifeDownload here:⁠ ⁠https://marinayt.com/trigger-2-rooted⁠⁠❥❥❥Follow me on Instagram:⁠ ⁠www.instagram.com/marina.y.t⁠⁠ 

In this episode, Katherine Fabrizio, psychotherapist and bestselling author of The Good Daughter Syndrome, dives deep into the complex dynamics between mothers and daughters. She explains how empathic daughters of emotionally immature, narcissistic, or borderline mothers often fall into patterns of people-pleasing, self-abandonment, and chronic guilt. Katherine breaks down the unconscious contracts daughters sign in childhood, the emotional toll of always trying to keep mom happy, and how these patterns affect careers, relationships, and self-worth. If you've ever struggled with setting boundaries, feeling responsible for your mother's emotions, or prioritizing your own needs, this episode is an essential listen. Connect with Katherine: https://daughtersrising.info/ https://www.instagram.com/katherinefabrizio/ https://www.amazon.com/Good-Daughter-Syndrome-Narcissistic-Borderline/dp/B0C9G4MZJY Top Episode Quotes: "Do I need for mom to be okay in order for me to be okay? If the answer is yes, you might be stuck in the Good Daughter Syndrome." "When you’ve been conditioned to take care of your mother emotionally, it’s no surprise you struggle to recognize and prioritize your own needs." "Grieving the mother you never had is an essential part of healing—without it, you stay stuck chasing an illusion." "Boundaries aren’t about asking for permission. They’re about deciding what you will and won’t accept in your life, regardless of how others react." "You have more power than you know. The moment you stop over-explaining and start setting limits, you shift the dynamic entirely." ❥Stay or Go Course: ⁠https://marinayt.com/stay-or-go⁠  ❥HeartSpace: An online monthly membership community for open-hearted, nervous system-attuned living. Join with a free trial:  ⁠⁠https://marinayt.com/community⁠⁠ ❥1:1 Coaching with me: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfWcZM5s9c2OjOLwoGMI5jE6rh_JAzjN2d_vCtuVe7e3pVGxw/viewform ❥❥❥ FREE RESOURCE: a step-by-step process of working with your triggers TRIGGERED TO ROOTED: A ROADMAP TO CREATE TREASURES FROM YOUR TRIGGERS This powerful step by step process will walk you through how to somatically move through a trigger, ground yourself, allow the emotions to come up and experience massive growth in your life Download here:⁠ ⁠https://marinayt.com/trigger-2-rooted⁠⁠ ❥❥❥ Follow me on Instagram:⁠ ⁠www.instagram.com/marina.y.t⁠⁠ 

In this episode, Raquel Devillé, Neurodiversity Therapist and creator of the EnCorps Method, shares her journey of discovering neurodivergence and the unique ways it presents in women. She explores the differences between male and female neurodivergent traits, the challenges of misdiagnosis, and the importance of body-based practices in managing sensory overload, chronic stress, and emotional regulation. Raquel discusses how overstimulation affects neurodivergent individuals and offers practical insights on creating a life that supports nervous system balance. If you've ever felt misunderstood, overwhelmed, or disconnected from your own needs, this episode provides invaluable tools for self-awareness and empowerment. https://encorps.be/ https://encorps.be/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/raqueldeville/ [email protected] Top Episode Quotes: "Numbness is not the absence of emotion—it’s a signal that something deep and overwhelming is underneath, waiting to be processed." "Autistic women are often misdiagnosed because they tend to be more social, masking their traits in ways that differ from men." "Our bodies are constantly taking in information—when there’s too much, overstimulation can feel like being trapped in a storm with no way out." "Choice can sometimes be too much for neurodivergent individuals. Clear direction, rather than endless options, can create a sense of safety and ease." "Healing isn’t about changing who you are—it’s about understanding how you function best and creating a life that supports that." ❥Stay or Go Course: ⁠https://marinayt.com/stay-or-go⁠  ❥HeartSpace: An online monthly membership community for open-hearted, nervous system-attuned living. Join with a free trial:  ⁠⁠https://marinayt.com/community⁠⁠ ❥1:1 Coaching with me: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfWcZM5s9c2OjOLwoGMI5jE6rh_JAzjN2d_vCtuVe7e3pVGxw/viewform ❥❥❥ FREE RESOURCE: a step-by-step process of working with your triggers TRIGGERED TO ROOTED: A ROADMAP TO CREATE TREASURES FROM YOUR TRIGGERS This powerful step by step process will walk you through how to somatically move through a trigger, ground yourself, allow the emotions to come up and experience massive growth in your life Download here:⁠ ⁠https://marinayt.com/trigger-2-rooted⁠⁠ ❥❥❥ Follow me on Instagram:⁠ ⁠www.instagram.com/marina.y.t⁠⁠ 

Today, we are continuing our journey from the last episode (if you have not listened yet, I highly recommend you go back and listen), and we uncover - are you being triggered in your relationships and can do the inner work and make it better? Or is it a dysfunctional or toxic relationship? If you are the kind of person who does their inner work consistently, if you're feeling really confused in your relationship, if you feel like you constantly walk away from interactions with this person feeling horrible, if you often feel guilty to cancel plans or any desire that clashes with someone else, this is the episode for you! Some of the things we cover are: The ongoing loop of thoughts in in your mind around this and how to know what's true When you feel constantly confused by interactions with particular people Setting standards in your relationships Tending to your guilt and anxiety around your needs and the emotions underneath Tending to the original trauma that taught you it's not ok to have needs ❥Stay or Go Course: ⁠https://marinayt.com/stay-or-go⁠  ❥HeartSpace: An online monthly membership community for open-hearted, nervous system-attuned living. Join with a free trial:  ⁠⁠https://marinayt.com/community⁠⁠ ❥1:1 Coaching with me: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfWcZM5s9c2OjOLwoGMI5jE6rh_JAzjN2d_vCtuVe7e3pVGxw/viewform ❥❥❥ FREE RESOURCE: a step-by-step process of working with your triggers TRIGGERED TO ROOTED: A ROADMAP TO CREATE TREASURES FROM YOUR TRIGGERS This powerful step by step process will walk you through how to somatically move through a trigger, ground yourself, allow the emotions to come up and experience massive growth in your life Download here:⁠ ⁠https://marinayt.com/trigger-2-rooted⁠⁠ ❥❥❥ Follow me on Instagram:⁠ ⁠www.instagram.com/marina.y.t⁠⁠ 

I am opening this season of the podcast with a little tirade about the coaching/therapy industries (whom I love dearly!) We often tell you to do your inner work: but what inner work can you do when the other party isn't interested in joining and doing theirs? Seriously! When you feel like your needs are constantly minimized, it's time to consider leaving the relationship. In a healthy, loving relationship, you need to feel like the other person cares about meeting your needs because they love you - and that's what love feels like! In this episode, I break down the signs of invalidation of your needs and what happens in your physical body as a result. I really hope this was helpful and eye opening for you!  ❥Stay or Go Course: https://marinayt.com/stay-or-go  ❥HeartSpace: An online monthly membership community for open-hearted, nervous system-attuned living. Join with a free trial:  ⁠https://marinayt.com/community⁠ ❥1:1 Coaching with me: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfWcZM5s9c2OjOLwoGMI5jE6rh_JAzjN2d_vCtuVe7e3pVGxw/viewform ❥❥❥ FREE RESOURCE: a step-by-step process of working with your triggers TRIGGERED TO ROOTED: A ROADMAP TO CREATE TREASURES FROM YOUR TRIGGERS This powerful step by step process will walk you through how to somatically move through a trigger, ground yourself, allow the emotions to come up and experience massive growth in your life Download here: ⁠https://marinayt.com/trigger-2-rooted⁠ ❥❥❥ Follow me on Instagram: ⁠www.instagram.com/marina.y.t⁠