09. Quickie: How to do a relationship inventory

It's the end of season one of Dating Bi Design podcast, and we're ending on a high note with part two of my conversation with Gina about dating with herpes. In this episode, we talk about how and when to disclose, the predatory nature of STI-positive dating apps, and a few of our favorite HSV+ comedians, actors, and influencers.   I hope to be back for season two very soon, but in the meantime I'll be working on some other exciting projects. To make sure you don't miss any updates, make sure you're following me on Instagram or TikTok. And as always, if you have questions or feedback, feel free to email me at [email protected]

I have herpes. Somewhere between 1 in 6 and 1 in 3 people do too, so odds are good you either have it or know someone who does. And it's not a big deal!  This week, in Part I of this two-part series, Gina and I talk about our diagnoses and the limitations of healthcare providers to give compassionate and accurate information. Go get tested for STI's, friends! And don't forget to ask specifically for a herpes test. Submit your anonymous dating questions to me at [email protected] and follow me on Instagram for more dating content.

This week we're unpacking our relationship patterns. I can't promise it will be easy, but it will probably be illuminating. Snag your relationship inventory template here: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1NrfREM3DaUO6o_dgiAStPO9ltFnguU-MS9i2joOrcPI/edit?usp=sharing. Email me your dating and relationship questions to [email protected] and I'll answer them (anonymously!) on the pod.

How do I tell my partner what I want? How do I ask my partner what they want? How do I even know what I like or what I’m into?! We’re back this week with an episode to help tackle all of these questions and more. The yes/no/maybe list is an invaluable tool for sexual communication. You can make a copy here: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1scT65kuyebwvu2-M4g2GgVx_AalVNB8KS4o2tNPgh98/edit?usp=sharing Resources mentioned in this episode: BDSMtest.org AskASub Justin Lehmiller's book Tell Me What You Want Phillip Miller's book Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns

The mere mention of a first date can send chills up the spines of single people everywhere. Most people hate dating. But I am convinced that dating can—and should—be fun. This week, I give advice that can help you find success and joy on your first dates. Whether you're fresh back on the dating scene or a seasoned pro, you'll get lots of actionable tips to improve your dating life. You can send your dating questions to me at [email protected]. 

In this episode, I sit down with my resident expert on modern feminist theory, Krista. We chat about the male gaze vs female gaze, wanting someone to survive late-stage capitalism with, and the fish pic phenomenon. Book recommendations from this episode include Gentlemen Prefer Blondes by Anita Loos, Women and Other Monsters by Jess Zimmerman, and The Madwoman in the Attic by Sandra Gilbert and Susan Gubar.

On this week's episode, I do a deep-dive review of Esther Perel's incredible book, Mating in Captivity. Topics include: being a hot mess in my early 20s, the pitfalls of modern talk-supremacy, and why "unplug it and plug it back in" is excellent dating advice.

Join me for a quickie this week as I unpack my bisexuality: how I came out, what it's like to feel like you don't fit in to the queer community, and even my experience as a unicorn.

Kristen is back for part two of our conversation on cultivating ease in relationships. In the second half of this convo, we talk about the specific wellness interventions we can make to regulate our nervous systems when we're going through new relationship energy or relationship-ending energy. BONUS: Download the dating self care toolkit here: https://www.herbsandease.com/datingselfcare Follow Kristen on Instagram @herbsandease and check out the Herbs and Ease podcast.

In this two-part series, I talk with wellness educator and herbalist, Kristen Prosen from Herbs and Ease. We discuss the physiology of new relationship energy and the importance of establishing nervous system regulation to handle the ups and down of dating. Follow Kristen on Instagram @herbsandease and listen to the Herbs and Ease podcast wherever you get your podcasts.