9 Things I Wish I Knew Before Adopting - Weekend Wisdom

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: We are currently going through our home study to adopt from foster care, and I'm wondering if it is too early to look at photo listings? I have been looking at photo listings for a long time, but now, when I read the bios, it feels real, and I get slightly attached. I'm curious if you think this is setting myself up for disappointment.Resources:Adoptions in the US – Our Annual UpdateAdoption Comparison ChartsFoster Care AdoptionDealing with a Long Wait While AdoptingThe Impact of Fostering and Adoption on Kids Already in the FamilySupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.What is human trafficking? Is your child at increased risk of being trafficked? Listen to this conversation with guests Dr. Yolanda Montgomery, a nurse, advocate, and the founder of Zoë Ministries, a nonprofit established in 2012 to combat human trafficking in Delaware and beyond, and Sara Poore, the Executive Director of the Delaware Anti-Trafficking Action Council (DATAC), leading statewide efforts to prevent human trafficking, support survivors, and strengthen community partnerships.In this episode, we discuss:What is human trafficking, and how does it show up in the lives of children and teens in the U.S.?Why might children who have experienced foster care, adoption, or relative caregiving be at higher risk for trafficking?What role do things like running away, online activity, or mental health play in increasing risk?Are there particular ages or developmental stages when children are most at risk?What systemic factors—such as placement instability or a lack of adult oversight—contribute to vulnerability?What signs or red flags should caregivers be watching for in their children or teens?How does trafficking often begin for vulnerable youth?What should a caregiver do if they suspect trafficking or exploitation?If a child discloses trafficking or exploitation, what should a caregiver’s first response be?What kinds of services or professionals should a caregiver seek out to help a child recover from trafficking or exploitation?What are some preventative actions parents and caregivers can build into their homes and relationships with their kids?What can caregivers be sensitive to at home, things that may contribute to increasing risk factors for our kids who are more vulnerable to these risks? (What conversations should caregivers be having regularly with their tweens or teens about trafficking risks?What resources, hotlines, or support networks should every caregiver have saved in their phones, or know about?In addition to being the one safe, stable, nurturing adult in a child’s life, what other practical protective factors can parents and caregivers incorporate into their home’s daily rhythms?Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: We very recently brought home our second child through domestic infant adoption. We feel very fortunate, and our son is developing well; we are also settling into the new routine.  We matched with our Son's birth mother through a local agency, and unfortunately, she decided that she did not want to meet us. She gave no information about the biological father.  We know she was caucasian, but honestly, it is unclear whether our son is entirely caucasian or not. The pediatrician said it was a mystery, and he may be caucasian with a darker complexion, or biracial, some amount of Hispanic, black, or any other heritage. We want to do everything in our power to be informed, acknowledge, and celebrate any ethnic background that is presented, but short of doing a DNA ancestry service on a baby that is a few weeks old, I don't really know where to begin- I'd appreciate any guidance you have. Resources:Raising a Transracial or Multicultural ChildAdoptee VoicesEthical Issues in Genetic Testing in AdoptionGenetic Testing and Genealogy for AdopteesGenetic Testing for Adoptees – Is It Worth It?Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Do you worry about the impacts that screen time, social media, or gaming have on your tween and teens' mental health? We spoke to Brittany Anderson, an author, certified play and narrative intelligence practitioner, and the founder of Renala, which helps families become creative, vision-driven leaders—beginning at home.In this episode, we discuss:What are the most common concerns that parents and caregivers have about their tween or teen’s tech use?Are those concerns more about the amount of time kids spend on devices, the content they’re seeking out, or the content they stumble upon?What are the differences in concerns between parents of pre-teens/tweens (11–13) and older teens (16–18)?What does current research say about how much screen time is considered healthy—or at least not harmful—for our tweens and teens? Is the amount of time as important as how that time is being spent?Are there particular times of day when device use is more problematic for mental health (e.g., late at night)?What types of online content are most worrisome for the tweens and teens in our homes?What mental health effects are we seeing most often in tweens and teens related to tech use? What are the symptoms of mental health that parents and caregivers should look for?Why might kids with a history of trauma and loss, prenatal exposure to alcohol or drugs, or neurodiversity be more vulnerable to tech-related mental health challenges?How do issues like attachment, identity, and resilience intersect with device use?Are there specific risks associated with online relationships, gaming communities, or social media for these children?What can adoptive and foster parents, as well as caregivers such as grandparents raising their grandchildren, do proactively to reduce some of these risks before problems arise?What role do boundaries, monitoring, and co-viewing/co-playing have in prevention?How can they help their child develop self-protective, self-regulation skills, such as learning to prioritize their own mental health and manage their device use? If a tween or teen has already had a harmful tech-related experience, what steps should parents/caregivers take immediately? What does a healthy “tech culture” in a home look like for tweens and teens? One piece of equipping and empowering advice for leading with purpose and mission around the issues of technology, devices, and tweens’ and teens’ mental healthRESOURCES:Managing Technology and ScreensWhat Resource Parents Should Know About Prenatal ExposureHow to CuSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: I have resentment against my (soon-to-be adopted) child’s mom, who is an addict. I get frustrated with his disrespect & disobedience, and bitterness & resentment rise up. He also respects my husband way more than me. I am trying so hard not to let it show or to take it out on him. I need help!Resources:Parenting Children with Challenging Behaviors Prenatal Exposure, Part 1: Parenting Babies through Elementary AgesParenting a Challenging Child: A Collaborative ApproachSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Do you dread the teen years? Or, if you're in the midst of parenting teens, do you struggle to find ways to connect? This week, we interview Dr. Melody Aguayo, a parenting coach specializing in working with at-risk children and their families and the founder of Real Child Consulting, LLC. She is the mom of two adopted kids.In this episode, we discuss:Parents wonder why their easy and natural connection with their kids changed, and they now feel on the outs and have to work harder. What is the developmental stage that is happening between the ages of about 13 and 18 or 19?Teens act like they don’t need us, when I believe they need us even more, to be present, but in a distinctly different way. I think that our emotions as a parent can sometimes interfere with connecting with teens.Change our expectation of what “connection” means with teens.Parents report feeling powerless in parenting when their kids reach their teen years. What is the essence of our power as parents?Our goals for our teens are to become responsible and independent. How can we parent in such a way to foster these goals?Let’s address some common issues we face when parenting teens: Arguing. How to turn an argument into a conversation?Spending too much time on technologyRunning with the wrong crowdTips for connecting and building trust and appreciation with your teen!Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.I spent some time this week thinking about what I’ve learned from my experiences as an adoptive parent and the wisdom of others in our community. In reflection, I've created a list of the things I wish I knew before adopting.Resources:8 Things I Wish I Had Known Before I AdoptedFree courses to strengthen your familyTherapeutic Parenting: Strategies & SolutionsBeginner’s Guide to TBRI Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Kinship-led families have unique needs, and finding resources to meet those needs can be a challenge. Today, we're talking with Mike Heath, a Resource Specialist with the Coalition for Children, Youth & Families in Wisconsin. The Coalition is a Resource Center for birth parents, foster families, adoptive families, relative/kinship/and like-kin caregivers, and child welfare and Tribal agency professionals.In this episode, we discuss:What are the most frequently reported everyday needs or resource gaps caregivers are experiencing? What is the most pressing need these kids are facing when they come to a new caregiver?What are the urgent needs caregivers have when welcoming a child or a sibling group, etc?Where can families find help with immediate essentials—such as beds, cribs, car seats, clothing, and school supplies?Which phone numbers should caregivers keep on speed dial?How should a relative caregiver secure the ability to make medical and school decisions quickly? What papers or forms should caregivers request on day one? From whom?Managing the documentation and paperwork can be a significant challenge for a new caregiver. Do you have any recommendations for managing this?Should school enrollment be a priority in that first week? How should a caregiver start the process of ensuring medical coverage (dental, vision, prescriptions, and mental health included)?Where should I start if I find the Medicaid/CHIP process confusing? Once a kinship-led family is settling in, what additional needs or options should they consider? Where to go to learn about those options?What are the possible financial resources that caregivers should look into?Importance of self-care, mental wellness, and community for both caregivers and the children they supportIf a new caregiver listens to this and does only three things this week, what should they be?Resources:Free Download Checklist for the first 30 days as a Kinship CaregiverVirtual Resource Kit for Relative Caregivers - Virtual Resource Kit: Relative Caregiving - Wisconsin Family Connections CenterRelative Caregiver Learning Pathway on Champion Classrooms (Free recorded webinar series) - Relative Caregiver Learning Pathway Link Collection of Resources for Relative Caregivers - https://wifamilyconnectionscenter.org/how-do-i/find-support-as-a-relative-caregiver/Coalition for Children, Youth & Families - Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Today, we are tackling a question that comes up a lot for parents and caregivers in our community – what do you do with a picky eater? Resources: Food IssuesMy Foster Child Only Eats Junk FoodPractical Solutions to Typical Food Issues with Adopted and Foster KidsSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Jackson TerKeurst was born in Liberia and by the age of 7 was a war orphan living in dire circumstances. So how did he end up as an entrepreneur, leader, and now author? Join us for an inspirational conversation about identity, overcoming, and redemption from Jackson's new book, The Only Way Forward is Back.In this episode, we discuss:Cultural differences How challenges like poverty and food insecurity impacted your first experiences in the StatesHow did your trauma manifest in your behavior at home?How did your family help heal those impacts?Discuss the additional unique challenges that being adopted as a teenager may have presented during your early months and years in your new family.Discuss how you’ve worked on answering "Who Am I?" across the chapters of your life?What were the helpful or healing experiences that went into pulling all those parts of your identity together to create today’s Jackson TerKuerst, husband, father, son, brother, entrepreneur, and now author?What would you say to parents or caregivers who are in the thick of it right now, walking with a child who is struggling to figure out who they are and where they belong?Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building